Any teens TTC?

[Ella]

I'm not trying to start some witch hunt or whatever, I'm just wondering.. I'd really love to hear if any of you are?
xx

 

[Katia-xO]

Haha i totally understand your "witch hunt" comment. Yeah i'm tryin to soon, not for a few months though because of college. Are you?

 

[Ella]

Nah, not right now.. but I've been feeling so broody lately and it's like there's pregnant people everywhere! Lol
xx

 

[Lyrah]

I'm 18 and TTC but although some people may think 18 is still classed as teen, I class it as young adult
xx

 

[Ella]

I don't understand why people are so against young parents.. Not all of us expect a council house and benefits for the rest of our lives! fingers crossed for you Lyrah!
xx

 

[Uvlollypop]

what do you expect?

 

[Ella]

Personally, I'd just expect to be treated like any other pregnant person.. I'm not TTC or anything, but if I was, I don't see why other people should have an issue with it.. It wouldn't be their problem, would it?

 

[Lyrah]

Thanks hun

I completely agree with you. It annoys me very much when people discriminate against young people like that. If two people are ready and stable financially, emotionally and mentally and well prepared for it, then what's the problem?

xx

 

[Uvlollypop]

im not trying to start something im just curious thats all.

say you got pregnant today what would you do? how would you manage

 

[Ella]

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound defensive..

well, if I got pregnant today, I've already had the whole discussion with my mum about if I did and stuff 'cause we're really close.. I have a job and I'm currently looking for full-time employment, my OH is 23 and works full-time and I have a very supportive family so I'm under no illusions that it would be easy (hence why I'm waiting a while) but I definitely would have a great support system
xx

 

[TashaAndBump]

what do you expect?

I hope this comment doesn't mean to imply that most teen mums do expect a council house and to live on benefits their whole life?

I think I probably misunderstood what was behind this question / what you meant, but wanted to answer as a teen mum (as it could have been interpreted as 'what do you expect, if not to live on benefits forever?').

I personally wouldn't want that life... I expect to have our second child, and when both are in nursery I will be doing a part time degree in midwifery. After being a midwife for some time I intend to specialise into neonatal nursing. For the time being I am a full time mum and carer. I live off of carers allowance, and don't 'sponge' on either income support or JSA (no offense to anyone who is on either of these benefits) and while some people might consider carers allowance to be a benefit, I consider it to be more like a wage because caring for a disabled adult truly can be like a full time job.

---

To answer the original question, I'm not currently TTC, but I am a teen mum of one (surprise! baby) and waiting to try for another. When we do try for our second, I will be 20, but only by one month.

 

[Uvlollypop]

theres no need to get on the defensive.

my question ment what it said, ella said she didnt expect benefits etc etc i was interested to see what she would expect if she got pregnant say today as i wrote in my previous post.
im not that much older than you and was pregnant and alone at 18 i by no means have any issue with teen mums.

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

ella its great that you have a good support network and your family around you

 

[TashaAndBump]

theres no need to get on the defensive.

my question ment what it said, ella said she didnt expect benefits etc etc i was interested to see what she would expect if she got pregnant say today as i wrote in my previous post.
im not that much older than you and was pregnant and alone at 18 i by no means have any issue with teen mums.

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

ella its great that you have a good support network and your family around you

Well I believe Ella had already answered that question - she does not expect to live off of benefits and get a coucil house over night by getting pregnant. I assume then that meants Ella, that you intend to be stable financially and have your own place before TTC? She did after all say that she was not trying for a baby any time soon...

As for regarding under 18's TTC, I don't think you can put them all in the same boat... If ANYONE intends to get pregnant without the means to support themselves or the baby, and without being in a stable relationship, or to look after the baby well, then I think everyone would agree there's an issue there. HOWEVER not all under 18s live at home with their folks, some people leave school at 16, get a full time job, rent their own home, pay their own bills etc etc.

There are many over 18s who get pregnant intentially when they are unable to look after the baby as well as there being younger people who stupidly get pregnant under mislead beliefs that it will bring them love, or fill a whole in their life, or will get them a free house and benefits.

I don't mean to be overly defensive - I just mean to clarify that not all teens expect an easy life of benefits and freebies - Some people really do know what they are doing when they decide to have a baby. Under 16s is a different story, but once you have left school if you have your own house and life (rather than being under your parents roof) I really do think it is down to individual choice. After all, who said that you have to have a degree to have a baby? (I know you didn't) but society seems to have taken this approach to parenting whereby if you've not gone to uni and aren't married then you're an idiot to start a family - It is my strong belief that being financially sound, and in a supportive, loving relationship is more than good enough foundations to build a family on.

 

[Lu28]

Sounds like you've definitely thought it all through Tasha and I would definitely agree with you that anyone who plans on getting pregnant without thinking through how they will manage financially and emotionally etc should think twice.

PS I admire you for caring full time for an adult, I was full time carer for my mum for a little while and it goes well beyond a full time job

 

[Uvlollypop]

theres no need to get on the defensive.

my question ment what it said, ella said she didnt expect benefits etc etc i was interested to see what she would expect if she got pregnant say today as i wrote in my previous post.
im not that much older than you and was pregnant and alone at 18 i by no means have any issue with teen mums.

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

ella its great that you have a good support network and your family around you

Well I believe Ella had already answered that question - she does not expect to live off of benefits and get a coucil house over night by getting pregnant. I assume then that meants Ella, that you intend to be stable financially and have your own place before TTC? She did after all say that she was not trying for a baby any time soon...

As for regarding under 18's TTC, I don't think you can put them all in the same boat... If ANYONE intends to get pregnant without the means to support themselves or the baby, and without being in a stable relationship, or to look after the baby well, then I think everyone would agree there's an issue there. HOWEVER not all under 18s live at home with their folks, some people leave school at 16, get a full time job, rent their own home, pay their own bills etc etc.

There are many over 18s who get pregnant intentially when they are unable to look after the baby as well as there being younger people who stupidly get pregnant under mislead beliefs that it will bring them love, or fill a whole in their life, or will get them a free house and benefits.

I don't mean to be overly defensive - I just mean to clarify that not all teens expect an easy life of benefits and freebies - Some people really do know what they are doing when they decide to have a baby. Under 16s is a different story, but once you have left school if you have your own house and life (rather than being under your parents roof) I really do think it is down to individual choice. After all, who said that you have to have a degree to have a baby? (I know you didn't) but society seems to have taken this approach to parenting whereby if you've not gone to uni and aren't married then you're an idiot to start a family - It is my strong belief that being financially sound, and in a supportive, loving relationship is more than good enough foundations to build a family on.

she did answer the question, there was no need for you to jump in gettin all defensive, i was curious that was all.
i was one of those people who left home young (14!) and fully understand that all teens cannot be tarred with the same brush i have come up against alot if nasty things because society has a strange view on teens. however i still believe that under 18s shouldn't ttc and i dont think anyone could change my mind.

im the first to jump in on here and defend any of the younger members who are being for want of a better word 'attacked' for being a teen mum/pregnant i resent the implication that im one of the people that is doing it!

 

[TashaAndBump]

I don't intend to make you look like the bad guy at all. I know you're a lovely person. I'm just playing devil's advocate and putting the other side of things across.

like I say, I'm not trying to be defensive, I'm just trying to clarify that not all teens can be put into the same boat, so IMHO you can not say that NO under 18s should be TTC.

That is just my view. I don't appreciate you jumping in telling me there's no need to put my view into the mixing bowl! Honestly, hun - I'm not criticizing you or trying to be argumentative - I'm just putting another viewpoint out there. I'm sorry if you misunderstood my intentions or if I put them across poorly!

*hugs*?

 

[StirCrazy]

IMHO you can not say that NO under 18s should be TTC.

In the UK anyone under the age of 18 is technically a minor. You cannot drink, smoke, get married (without parent consent), own a creditcard/get credit or enter into any legal contract... So are you saying in some circumstances TTC under the age of 18 should be encouraged/supported. I only ask because this is something that has been bought up recently about what is allowed on BnB.

 

[Wobbles]

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

So do I although it depends if the 17 year old falls in school year or not! Under 17 is my bigger issue.

I don't like supporting a 16 or below on BabyandBump TTC in fact I want it to become apart of the rules.

I won't support my daughter trying for a baby at that age (school age) so why would I here? If shes left school and she makes this decision you know what I'd never shut the door on her but it would be her life and her time to move on supporting her own family choices not Mummy & Daddy doing it.

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

theres no need to get on the defensive.

my question ment what it said, ella said she didnt expect benefits etc etc i was interested to see what she would expect if she got pregnant say today as i wrote in my previous post.
im not that much older than you and was pregnant and alone at 18 i by no means have any issue with teen mums.

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

ella its great that you have a good support network and your family around you

Well I believe Ella had already answered that question - she does not expect to live off of benefits and get a coucil house over night by getting pregnant. I assume then that meants Ella, that you intend to be stable financially and have your own place before TTC? She did after all say that she was not trying for a baby any time soon...

As for regarding under 18's TTC, I don't think you can put them all in the same boat... If ANYONE intends to get pregnant without the means to support themselves or the baby, and without being in a stable relationship, or to look after the baby well, then I think everyone would agree there's an issue there. HOWEVER not all under 18s live at home with their folks, some people leave school at 16, get a full time job, rent their own home, pay their own bills etc etc.

There are many over 18s who get pregnant intentially when they are unable to look after the baby as well as there being younger people who stupidly get pregnant under mislead beliefs that it will bring them love, or fill a whole in their life, or will get them a free house and benefits.

I don't mean to be overly defensive - I just mean to clarify that not all teens expect an easy life of benefits and freebies - Some people really do know what they are doing when they decide to have a baby. Under 16s is a different story, but once you have left school if you have your own house and life (rather than being under your parents roof) I really do think it is down to individual choice. After all, who said that you have to have a degree to have a baby? (I know you didn't) but society seems to have taken this approach to parenting whereby if you've not gone to uni and aren't married then you're an idiot to start a family - It is my strong belief that being financially sound, and in a supportive, loving relationship is more than good enough foundations to build a family on.

I'm 17 an have a little boy who was born when i was 16 and i still live at home with my mum. i couldn't have done this without my mum . everything else you say is so true though x

 

[TashaAndBump]

Supporting a girl in school and living at home to have a baby is one thing... Supporting a young woman of 17 years who has left compulsary education, has a full time job, lives with their OH and has decided that having a child will be their next step, however? I think that is a different matter altogether.

Having said that, I think 'supporting' is the wrong word: I simply believe we shouldn't judge someone for TTC, simply because they are under 18. I would only discourage somebody from trying for a baby if I knew their full circumstances, and thought they were getting themselves into something that they truly weren't prepared for, or did not understand the extent of the life-change that they were committing to. I don't think you can say that goes for all under-18s.