Anyone else feel isolated/alone?

[05mummy07]

Long story short - I had my first born at 15 so left school early thus meaning losing all of my so called friends, literally only one person stayed in constant contact to this day.

I've always struggled to make friends and it's making this pregnancy so lonely. I have no one to talk to and no one to share my news with yet which is driving me mad.

I've not even told family yet as they won't be excited or happy for us with it being number 5 (they can't possibly understand how anyone could want more than 2 children). The only people who know are me and my OH.

It's pretty lonely. Anyone else feel like this? X

 

[tulip1975]

I'm so sorry you are feeling down. Are you a stay at home mom?

The reason I ask is because school and work are often the places that people most easily make friends. I also have trouble making friends outside of those 2 environments, and I often lose touch after I leave the environment.

 

[05mummy07]

I've been a stay at home mum for 9 years now - when my eldest boys attended school I made the effort with other mums but felt like a waste of time to be honest. I speak to some people now through home educating, but no one who's close enough to really talk talk to if that makes sense?

 

[mcwhmm]

I hear ya! I got pregnant with my daughter a year after I graduated high school. People were all about trying to hang out with me when I was pregnant and "see my belly" and then they were all about seeing her when she was born.. but then they just seem to taper off.. They are all doing there own things with school or whatever and have different priorities from me. I have one close friend whom I still talk to quite a bit, but we never really hang out because I work during the day and she works at night, but even she doesn't understand. She will text me and be like "hey, do you want to do this tonight?" She just thinks I can do things last minute or that I can go out all the time like other people in their 20's. It's irritating because she thinks I don't want to hang out with her but that's not the case.. I wish I had more friend's that would do kid friendly things. My daughter is at that fun age where things are still new and exciting to her, but she can also interact and talk more english that some men know lol and is a ton of fun. (which reminds me, side note, I can't stand mom's who pawn their kids off on whoever so that they can go out every weekend) I also have one friend who I am really close with who is pregnant right now.. but she just moved about 3 hours away I'm currently almost 9 weeks pregnant with my second and nobody knows yet except for my DH and my friend who is also pregnant. We are waiting until 12 weeks to tell anybody.. but I am also worried about how my parent's will react..

 

[RayeAnne]

I'm in similar situations!
I had my son right out of high school and lost all my friends. They didn't really leave me or anything, we were just going in two different directions and lost touch.
I have been a sahm for a few years now and I homeschool my oldest. He actually goes to a school 3 days a week and I homeschool 2 days a week. It's a great combo!
Anyway, With a toddler, an 11 year old and being pregnant I don't have much time for anything at all besides us.
All the moms at my son's school are much older than me and I've always found it hard to connect with them.
I do however attend a lot of church functions that include childcare. I have connected with so many great women and found some friendships there as well.
I do feel isolated/lonely at times, my DH works aalllllll the time and my family (we are VERY close) is very small. It's just me and my mom and sister, and my sister lives 6 hours away.
I'd maybe see if there are any church functions/mom outings that you can find?
Sorry you're feeling this way!!

 

[northern_me]

I think Rayeanne is right. It is all about forming a sense of community. If you aren't about the church idea, you could head to Mommy & Me groups or check a resource centre that hosts playgroups. I've met mom friends just taking dd to the park! It's really important to focus on your own relationships and to have a great support network around you. Sometimes you have to make yourself vulnerable and put yourself out there.

 

[calm81]

Yep. I use to have a lot of friends and now I'm down to just two that I hardly see since buying a house an hour away. I recently graduated college and already lost touch with my classmates.

Now, it's just my preteen daughter, 2 year old son, DH and my pregnant self. I visit my mom weekly--that's as far as my socializing goes.

I've tried to talk with neighbors or random clerks at grocery stores but nothing concrete enough to sit down with coffee and talk with.

That's why I enjoy this forum, as I can share what's on my mind relating to pregnancy with a few non-related rants/vents of what's happening in my life. Sometimes it's easier for me to be myself with an online community because face to face my anxiety causes me to panic about what people are thinking of me. I'm pretty, smart, kind, funny but I forget those things when around new people, you know?

So, try not to feel so isolated, I'm here if you need to talk about silly/serious/emotional/irritating stuff.

 

[LovemyBubx]

I don't have any friends. I talk about life etc & have a chat with people at work.
I meet lots of other mums through my work that I chat too while I'm there.

Then I see my parents, that's my social life.

My best friend is my OH & I love spending all my time with DD.

It would be nice to have a close friend, but really I dont feel like I have much to talk about & I don't drink, I don't like clubs so I already feel most younger mums would find me boring anyway.

I also really struggle meeting new people outside of work I've always been shy & find the whole thing so awkward.

 

[lovepurple90]

I pretty much have no one either. I lost all my friends a few years ago for a number of reasons including a previous bad relationship. I'm in my 21st week of pregnancy and I've been going through it alone with my mum and bf. That's it. I don't really have many people to tell or any friends that's truly interested. I'm gonna try and find some local mums meet ups/ mum-to-be meet ups in my local area. Maybe try the charity NCT (if you're in the UK). They arrange regular meet ups for parents in different parts of the UK. Might be good to try one out x