Anyone not breast feeding because they just don't want to?

[Arisa]

I do not think its selfish or rude at all Aside from not being able to due to medication i did not want to breastfeed for a lot of reasons and am thankful that I didn't as my daughter had feeding issues for the first two weeks and I did want my body back, even if the only think that is relatively normal looking again are my boobs, my stomach is still saggy and its taking months literally for my stretch marks to fade, add to that severe post natal depression I basically could not handle the extra demand of 24/7 BFFing or even expressing. I like the fact my husband and my parents can feed my little girl too.

 

[emsie]

with my first, she wouldnt latch so i expressed for 6months, it was hell. I did it out of guilt and i almost went insane. Then out of the blue I fell pregnant. She was only 6and half months old. So now with my 2nd i wouldnt have time to express so i am not even going to bother and have FF him from day one and you know what i feel 100% happy about it. He is perfectly fine, growing well (exactly like my 1st) and i wish i hadnt wasted all that time and risked my sanity first time round.

Dont listen to anyone but yourself. You are only a bad mother if you dont feed your baby at all.

 

[anna1986]

Im leaning more and more towards FF my new baby as he more i look into bf the more the constant feeding they tell you About puts me off. I dont want my DD to miss out on her groups etc cos im stuck bf for hours on end. FF is just as good as BF.

 

[juicyfruity]

Hi ladies

i just read through all these posts and i'm so glad i did! i am one of those annoying Breastfeed All The Way women you probably all have trouble with, plus the fact this child will be my first (alive) baby so like what do i know right?

to be honest i just couldnt understand FF, why pay for formula when you have a free supply right at your breast? all the nutritional benefits! the bonding! its natural! think about the baby not yourself! rah rah rah! i basically thoughts if you dont have a good reason NOT to you're a pretty selfish mum for FF.

But reading through this post is really eye opening, of COURSE its your body your choice! if you can afford it and its what you want to do, then do it! it is so much more important you are happy and feel comfortable with your baby than being forced to do something you dont feel happy with which i can see leading to feelings of resentment towards the baby and other unhelpful things.

i am really pleased i read this as it made me see my way of thinking was quite shallow and mean, i wont FF unless i really have to but i can accept why people do even if the reason is just 'i dont want to bf'.
Thank you
juicyfruity

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

Im leaning more and more towards FF my new baby as he more i look into bf the more the constant feeding they tell you About puts me off. I dont want my DD to miss out on her groups etc cos im stuck bf for hours on end. FF is just as good as BF.

I FF my son from 2 weeks but this time I'm EBF my daughter. I CANNOT stay in the house, I'm the kind of person that always has to be out and busy. I just can't help it. Anyhoo, I take DS to at least 4 groups a week since baby was 3 weeks old. I guess I've just adapted and of course I had to bite the bullet and nurse in public, although I do it really discreetly and nobody notices.

It really is do-able with a toddler and Your DD doesn't have to miss out. It takes a military operation to get organised and out of the house but it can be achieved

 

[MamaCakes]

With my DD, I FF her pretty much starting the day we brought her home. Of course they tried to get me to BF at the hospital. I wasnt against it but I wasnt willing to put in the extra effort for it either. I wasnt producing a lot in the beginning and had to supplement with formula anyway. It was more convenient for us to FF and in the end it was the best decision for us. Yes, it cost us more, but it was worth it for us. I dont feel like less of a mother for doing it that way and Im sure with #2 I will FF as well.

If you dont feel like BF than dont! It is your baby and your decision in the end. There are pros and cons to be BF and FF but everyone and their baby is different so you have to find out what works best for you.

BTW: My DD is almost 7 yrs old and she's perfectly healthy. Never had any major health problems or issues to deal with and she's very sharp.

 

[Erinsmummy]

I havnt read everyone else's posts... Yep I didn't breast feed simply because I didn't want to. I will be bottle feeding next one also. Breast feeding has never appealed to me, I knew from the start I didn't want to do it, I loved bottle feeding, I didn't find it all that expensive, I didn't find it a pain to sterilise everything, I liked it, my baby thrived, she's a very healthy 3 yr old. My friends all breast feed and I respect them completely, I think it's great, especially when they get on with it so well, and they respect my decision also. I have never been pressured my midwives to breast feed either, they obviously encourage it, but respected my choice. I think happy mum and baby is what's most important!

 

[Damita]

I wanted to BF but I just couldn't get her to latch (turned out she has a shallow palette - found this out at 6 weeks) and I wasn't making enough milk (PCOS) so decided to FF after a night of sobbing trying to get her to eat which was the best choice as I ended up on anti ds and she is a happy bunny on formula and I am less stressed She's been on it since day 2 and she is healthy putting on weight and reaching her milestones

As my midwife said as long as you are feeding your baby what does it matter what you are feeding them.

 

[emmgee1]

I'm so glad that you have posted this thread. i have a 3 week old and for the first 2 and a half weeks i breast fed and quiet honestly i nearly lost the plot. He was hungery all the time nothing seemed to satisfy him, i bearly got dressed or had time to even eat my dinner for him crying for food. i have suffered with depression a very long time ago and i could feel me going back that way. so at the weekend after many tears and feeling like ive let him down i gave up and went on the bottles. I now feel so much better already, hes so much more settled and on 4 onces every 3 hours(hungery boy). I'm beginning to cope much better. i feel there is so much pressure to breast feed but it doesent work for everyone and that should be respected too.

 

[bumblebeexo]

I decided to FF. I was ill after having LO and couldn't get out the bed for two days and having lost 4 pints of blood I felt so weak - so FF was definitely a good choice as I don't think I'd have coped with BF. I like FF.. OH can do night feeds, I'm not spending my whole day feeding.. I personally think a happy baby and happy mummy is much healthier than BF if you don't want too!

 

[Laucu]

I BF my first for 3 months and my second for 2 weeks. It is a LOT harder when you already have a toddler running about. I had to take her feelings into consideration too. By FF my second, it meant that daddy could take over feeds and my daughter could have some mummy time. The arrival of her brother hit her a lot harder than I expected so we adjusted our plans accordingly.

But I say, never say never. Unless you have a medical reason why you can't BF, I think that you should stay open minded until baby arrives, because you'll never know how you will feel until then!

 

[xxxemmaxxx]

So pleased to see this thread! After going to the midwife today she didn't even ask me just said "if you get trouble with breastfeeding I can put you in touch with someone".

I'm not even thinking about it because maybe I'm selfish but maybe I think it's a good thing that with bottles both parents can do it.

I didn't even realise it was such a taboo to not want to!

 

[stephanyox]

I breastfed for 3 days then as soon as i got out the hospital LO wouldnt latch properly and was getting really stressed, not to mention it was hurting me too. So i started formula feeding and its so much better for us! Dont let them tell you what to do, its your body and you do what you want with it!

 

[fl00b]

i ff by choice (never even tried bf)
in all honesty i was going to try when i got home as i didn't feel comfortable in the hospital doing it. in the pn ward, there were 3 other women with me. 3 of us were ff and the other was being bf. the bf baby stayed up all night screaming cos he wouldn't latch (put me off a bit) the ff babies only woke up for their feeds.
it's easier as i don't have to express, my partner can do feeds too, i'm at college so i don't even have time to express, i don't like whipping a boob out in public, no leaky and sore boobs, i know exactly how much he's had, it takes less time and even better, i have a happy and healthy baby

it's up to you chuck, it's all about what works best for you and baby

 

[missy1]

I ff my daughter and I will be formula feeding this baby when it's born. FF worked out so well for us and I have no regrets and certainly no guilt about it.
BF never felt natural to me. I know that sounds silly because it is obviously the most natural thing in the world but for me I never felt comfortable with it. I've always had really sensitive boobs and I'm a bit squeamish about touching them or anything. I never fancied bf in public. We are very sociable my daughter and i and go out the house every day. I dont think there is anything wrong with a woman bf her baby in public but for me personally it wasnt something i wanted to do. I myself was FF as was my brother and all my cousins and all my friends who I grew up with so I was never overly impressed with all the health benefits I had been told about BF as my brother and I have always been extremely healthy, no allergies, illnesses etc.
When my daughter was born and I was in the ward I did try to get her to latch on but she didn't seem to want to and got really upset whenever I put her near the breast. Looking back I only tried it because of the pressure I felt from midwives and my husbands friends wives (3 of them) who had all had babies earlier that year and all of them were breastfeeding. Turns out my baby is the one with the least illnesses. Could be just luck or coincidence but their babies have had everything going, stomach bugs, cold after cold, chest infections, hand foot & mouth disease, recurrent eye infection whereas my ff daughter has had about 2 colds in her 2 years of life and one tummy bug. She is so healthy. She was such a content happy baby and thrived on her formula. I loved that my husband and my mum could do some feeds. I got lots more sleep than I ever imagined due to hubby doing the late and early feed then I only had to get up once at night (4am) to do one feed. She slept through the night from 8 weeks. Sterilising and making up bottles was not a problem at all. I just did one big batch every morning, what's difficult about that. I wouldn't wait till she was starving. When it got close to her time for needing a feed I would just take the ready prepared bottle out the fridge and pop it in the bottle warmer for 5 mins. We went out all the time from even when she was 3 days old! Just put a bottle in a cool bag and took a special tommee tippee flask that is for warming baby bottles. Easy peasy.
I totally respect any woman who bf their baby and I know it is not easy. It just wasn't for me and my LO

 

[biliboi2]

I also never ever warmed a bottle for my DS and he loves his bottles! Doesn't know the difference and often drinks it straight from fridge if its one of those SAM 24/48 hour bottles

 

[MarcsMrs]

I FF fed from birth! I had no interest in BFing, it just wasnt for me! Luckly I was never pressured by anyone other than MIL but I dont pay any heed to her anyway! Éabha is comming up on 6months, happy, healthy & very attached to her Mummy! Never been sick a day in her little life, never even lost an ounce after birth either! I did what was right for me & my baby - formula isnt poison (though some would make you think it is!!) I will FF the next one too! I dont feel one bit guilty about my choice....my child is getting fed, thats all that matters!

 

[HellBunny]

i ff by choice (never even tried bf)
in all honesty i was going to try when i got home as i didn't feel comfortable in the hospital doing it. in the pn ward, there were 3 other women with me. 3 of us were ff and the other was being bf. the bf baby stayed up all night screaming cos he wouldn't latch (put me off a bit) the ff babies only woke up for their feeds.
it's easier as i don't have to express, my partner can do feeds too, i'm at college so i don't even have time to express, i don't like whipping a boob out in public, no leaky and sore boobs, i know exactly how much he's had, it takes less time and even better, i have a happy and healthy baby

it's up to you chuck, it's all about what works best for you and baby

lol that is so true in my case! i FF my first but BF my second, my first baby was chilled out all night, my second was awake all night in the hospital, i was the only one bf there and he was wide awake, everyone elses babies were asleep in their cots whilst the mums were reading/watching tv and i couldn't go to the loo when i switched to formula with him he slept in between feeds at night x

 

[Erinsmummy]

I love ff. I was considering trying bf when I was on my own, as didn't like the idea of midwives or nurses prodding me and watching but ff worked so well for me last time I don't really see the point! When I had my lo, my friend had a baby too and hers was breast fed. Hers screamed all night and my friend looked so shattered, my baby slept loads and I felt great! I know they say bf is better, but I don't agree! And not just because they often sleep more, but just because bf would make some of us mums unhappy Xx

 

[dizz]

Provisionally for this pregnancy I've made the decision to formula feed from the outset - I've got a number of reasons behind it, but I have to add the behaviour of a vocal group of the internet breastfeeding warriors and neighbourhood busybodies which has made me even less inclined to want to join their merry bandwagon of self-congratulation.

I have other reasons - ranging from pure logistics of needing to be out working within a couple of weeks on an evening, to medication, to mental health reasons - but yep, the internet harpies have played a large factor as well - funny how when you want to sit and paint someone as a bad mother for one child, they don't tend to go seeking approval for the second.

I'm also not prepared to be manhandled (or womanhandled) by half the world and its wife in hospital and put under pressure there so it's easier if I go in with the strident "no way" stance.