Anyone not breast feeding because they just don't want to?

[flamingpanda]

In response to juicyfruity's post - I would say try not to make any firm plans in pregnancy because you never know how things will work out once baby is here. Like you I was very keen to BF and couldn't understand why anyone would give their babies formula (despite the fact myself and my siblings were all brought up with formula). That said I told myself if I couldn't BF I wouldn't torture myself over it. Well all I can say is my experience of BFing pretty much ruined the first week of bonding with my LO. After birth she latched perfectly and fed. However once we got onto the ward it was an entirely different story. She swallowed a lot of mucus during birth and she sounded like she had the flu for the first week of her life. She would constantly cough up the mucus and because of this she felt rotten and didn't want to feed. The midwives all told me the more she feeds the faster she will bring it up. So I sat there hour after hour trying to get her to latch on and she just wouldn't. In the end they had me hand express to get enough to syringe into her mouth. However hand expressing before your milk come in properly is really hard, especially when you have never done it before. So every feed I would have to call for a midwife (some of who weren't very friendly) to come and basically milk me like a cow until we had enough to squirt into her mouth. I did this for 3 solid days in hospital. I dreaded my partner going home at night because I would be alone feeding her. The few times she did latch it was extremely painful for me. On the 3rd day I was in tears because I was so worried she wasn't getting enough feed. I called a midwife who wasn't helpful and basically brought us some formula to try. I put the bottle in her mouth and she spat it back out and started to cry, I know it sounds crazy but she looked at me like "that's not how we feed mum" and I just sobbed. I felt so much guilt, guilt I had promised myself I wouldn't feel if things didn't work out. Thankfully two really kind midwives came along and finally listened to what I was saying about switching to formula and they told me to stop beating myself up and I had to do what was best for her and they're only that small once - I should be enjoying it. I wasn't at all, it was horrendous. She had started to latch at this point so I went home BFing still. We went home and next day I found out she had lost 9% of her weight, I was told if it got to 12.5% she would have to go back into hospital. By the next weigh in she had put some on but such a small amount that the midwife basically advised we switched if we were still unhappy. I was and I look back now and wonder why I tortured myself so much but even now I feel pangs of guilt thinking about it all. The truth is since switching she has put on weight, got rid of all the mucus and seems much happier. We are happier too, we can both feed her (as can Grandparents) and I don't have that constant pressure of it being all on me all of the time. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of BFing a second child. I understand the benefits but I don't believe breastmilk is the be all and end all and I would never want to feel so bad again at such a precious time.

Geez even just thinking about all of this again is making me teary. I understand why midwives push BFing and "breast is best" but I do wish they'd tone it down a bit. When things don't work out you can feel like a monster for hurting your baby because of how strong opinions are against formula. It's madness.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I have no desire to try BF and will be going straight to FF when the baby is born! Glad to see there are some other women that feel the same way!

 

[c1403]

I gave breastfeeding a good go. We exclusivley BF for 4 weeks and in the end I gave up as it made me a miserable mummy.

I had problems getting LO to latch, cracked nipples and I was soooo exhausted (I had a horrible recover post CS and very low iron levels). I felt chained to my bed and hated every time LO wanted a feed. So much so that I never wanted to hold her afterwards just get her away from me. I felt like a terrible mother and one night I just cracked and said I couldnt do it anymore as I honestly felt like I never wanted my LO anywhere near me.

I kind of wished I kept going but I was at my wits end and crying non stop and in so much pain and hated the feeling of not wanting to hold my LO. She was happy on formula and the switch didnt upset her. I became much more happier and started enjoying my time with my LO and we now have a fantastic connection/bond.

My mum think I had a touch of PND and I probably did (maybe I gave in too easy) but I dont feel guilty as I was more concerned about my bond/relationship with my baby then how I fed her and BF just wasnt working.

If I have number 2, I will give it a go again and see if I can do better.

I agreebreast is best but its not our only option and we shouldnt feel guilty if we cant do it for some reason or other and I will not judge others for their decisions

x

 

[MaybBaby]

i dont think any ill of you chick, i wanted to EBF for 6 months, but unfortunately had a CSec scar that would not heal and the amount of drugs i was on tainted and dried my supply up, by the time dom was 8 weeks old we we're FF'ing but i never think any ill of it. Ive had 3 friends since have kids and all 3 of them did not want to BF at all, the one due to family lifestyle (she has a 1 year old and needs time with him too) and the two kinda felt awkward about it all...and i totally understood where they came from and they were shocked i didnt judge being the BFer i wanted to be. NEVER feel forced into something you're not comfortable with as you are just going to set yourself up to be even more upset when it doesn't go to plan, if you know you're comfortable with FFing and it suits your daily and babys needs, go for it! in all fairness my local hosp did not once discriminate a FFing mother, they supported them it was wonderful to see, but my area is very FF dominated hehe, STILL! the respect was there and it was good to see FFers and BFers treated equally