Anyone over 45 TTc ?buddies needed <3

[Delphine11]

Hi there I am 46, will be 47 in a few weeks, my DH is 39. I have 3 kids youngest is 12, but decided a month ago I wanted to try one more time!

I dithered for a week about telling my doctor, I was worried he would laugh at me and tell me to go home and wait for a granddaughter! But I bite the bullet. Went in last week and he was so fantastic!

So to all you ladies go to the doctor! I understand, but wow it was so helpful!

Thank you so much for that - reading that really made me feel better. I've been quite worried about my doctor's reaction. I'd assumed any doctor would just laught at me, or be horrified that I was TTC, so it's great to hear that you were treated so well.

Of course, another reason delaying me is fear: I admit I'm afraid that my test results will be bad and that'll plunge me into depression. I *think* I can still conceive and I try to be calm and optimistic, so the last thing I want is some doctor telling me my chances of conceiving are 1 in 879,465,000!! Especiallly as I've read so many stories online of women being told they'd never conceive - and then getting pregnant!

I thought I might do some charting and give it maybe three months or something before approaching the doctor. How long did you other ladies wait before visiting your doctors? Did you go straightaway or did you try for a while first?

 

[battyatty]

Some days I am full of, it wont be a problem, my results have come back positive. Then other days I am terrified, what if I don't have eggs, what if, what if.........?

I so identify with that comment! I have optimistic days and then OMG days where I worry that I'll never get pregnant. It's nice to know that that's normal to be up and down like that.

It's been a few days since I posted here and I can't remember if I mentioned diet - I don't think I did. So - I'm trying to eat healthily (i.e cut out lots of the nutrition-free treats like biscuits and cake) but I don't obsess about it because I think that might cause stress.

I've changed to full fat milk as I read a study saying that that increases fertility; I try to eat oily fish two or three times a week; I eat a good amount of fresh veg and fruit; I eat nuts to up my fat intake as I read that women trying to conceive need to eat plenty of fat; I've reduced my caffeine intake to a cup or two of coffee a day and one cup of tea (I used to have double that); I still drink alcohol but, again, I've reduced that significantly; I sprinkle linseeds and pumpkin seeds on my cereal; and I've increased the amount of eggs I eat.

I do feel healthier if nothing else so that must help. I've read articles online stressing how important nutrition is, especially when you're older and TTC.

The idea of the 'golden egg' is one that makes sense to me. I'm hoping there's one there and all I have to do is catch it!

I too have cut back on my coffee intake to 2 a day, I used to have 4/5 between breakfast and lunch then 2 green teas after dinner in the evening! The green tea is gone completely as have read that it can affect your folic acid intake eekk! Really miss my green tea though!

Progesterone
Milk and eggs are a great for natural progesterone! Yoghurt is even better still. I have natural greek yoghurt with red berries and nuts for breakfast!

Antioxidants
I have also upped my red/purple fruit/veg for the antioxidants! Including red and orange spices, turmeric is the best, adding that to lots of dishes now!
Other great sources, red wine and dark chocolate! Yay!

Omega 3
Lots of beans, I eat loads of red kidney beans and chick peas, walnuts, flax, fish and seafood, all of which I love!

Its going to be so exciting, but I know that also this is could be a sad and disappointing journey. The chance of miscarriage at my age is very high, thats the one that really scares me, I've been there twice before and they were horrific enough and I was younger then, with years of fertility before me!

My DF is even worse than me, one day 'yes we'll do this', the next 'I don't know?' I know he wants a baby soo much but is so scared of everything that could go wrong, bless.

My tests are coming back great, my charts show I am ovulating, and in a week I will be getting my AMH test done, (thats a scary one!) So my doctors cant see us having any great problem for a lady in my 40's, but sigh it is still a huge step!

I'm counting down to my AF, 4 days away, then it really is 'time to boogie'

 

[Delphine11]

Ooh, I had no idea about the milk and eggs being good for that reason! That's excellent.

I didn't know about turmeric being good either. Thank you for that. I've tended to get my 'colours' from veg like orange peppers, red onions and broccoli to name a few. I've been eating a broader range of fruit too - mangoes, kiwis, persimmons, figs. All to try to get the nutrients in. It's like preparing for some kind of major sporting event

I eat red berries too - raspberries and strawberries mixed together with a few large dollops of full-fat Greek Yoghurt on top.

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. That sounds horrendous. I can't imagine what it must have been like. I've never miscarried, but I do know that the risk increases as you get older. I did read it was as high as 50%, but that means 50% don't miscarry. I try to be optimistic because there are so many awful statistics out there to scare older women with. It can mess with your head if you let it. I refuse to be written off just because I'm in my 40s. But I do try to be realistic about the possible risks. When I feel down though I like to read success stories to remind myself that it's not all doom and gloom.

Congrats on your test results! That's lovely news. I hope your AMH test goes well.

I'm on Day 9 of my cycle. I'm excited about ovulation but kind of nervous and worried too. I'm not expecting anything to happen this soon (first proper month of trying), plus my partner is going away on my Day 14 *big sigh* so I'm hoping to get in as many 'tries' before that as possible. It is a bit annoying but it was a pre-arranged trip.

 

[BBbliss]

Batty, thank you for all that info. People try to say dairy is not good when ttc but I can't cut mine. So I'm glad it's good and I love Hummus I have it as a snack almost everyday, isn't it made from chick peas. I'm happy most of those things are part of my normal diet... Now I just need to ad a little more chocolate and wine and it will be complete

Have you girls look into DHEA? A lot of fertility clinics put prescribe it for us girls over 40. Do you own research and see if you think it would be good for you.

 

[Delphine11]

Have you girls look into DHEA? A lot of fertility clinics put prescribe it for us girls over 40. Do you own research and see if you think it would be good for you.

Hi BBbliss,

Yes, I did have a look at info about DHEA when I first started thinking about TTC. I thought I'd do some research before I started and I came across DHEA mentioned a lot. I've read good and bad things (as with most items that possibly help when you're TTC). I certainly haven't ruled it out, but I'm slightly nervous about how it'd interract with my own natural hormones. I'm paranoid about messing my cycles up. They were messed up for a few months last year (stress, I think - they went really weird) and all I want is to keep them normal and see how things go to start with.

I wish doctors could just do tests, say what we needed - and then we'd magically get pregnant! A silly dream but sometimes it's frustrating not knowing what's going to happen month to month.

If anyone's taking DHEA I'd be interested to hear about it.

 

[BBbliss]

Have you girls look into DHEA? A lot of fertility clinics put prescribe it for us girls over 40. Do you own research and see if you think it would be good for you.

Hi BBbliss,

Yes, I did have a look at info about DHEA when I first started thinking about TTC. I thought I'd do some research before I started and I came across DHEA mentioned a lot. I've read good and bad things (as with most items that possibly help when you're TTC). I certainly haven't ruled it out, but I'm slightly nervous about how it'd interract with my own natural hormones. I'm paranoid about messing my cycles up. They were messed up for a few months last year (stress, I think - they went really weird) and all I want is to keep them normal and see how things go to start with.

I wish doctors could just do tests, say what we needed - and then we'd magically get pregnant! A silly dream but sometimes it's frustrating not knowing what's going to happen month to month.

If anyone's taking DHEA I'd be interested to hear about it.

I researched it myself and started on it and the following week I had my blood work done, I had all my blood work as soon as I had my first cycle after my IUD, well my levels were really good to start with so I stopped, but only after I was sure I didn't need it. In most cases we do need it. I just started treatment with a fertility clinic and my doctor is happy with my hormones the way they are but I do know he prescribes it. It's important to know where your body is so you can do what you can to "fix" it if its possible, at our age I believe we can't waist time. I'm going in on Wednesday to have my tubes unblocked and I know im doing everything I can. I hope it can done and I can get started and make a baby already

 

[battyatty]

Have you girls look into DHEA? A lot of fertility clinics put prescribe it for us girls over 40. Do you own research and see if you think it would be good for you.

If anyone's taking DHEA I'd be interested to hear about it.

I've just read up about it, I'm not sure it's for me or would be offered even. My blood test came back with both testosterone and estardiol levels in normal range? But I will talk to my GP and see what he thinks!

 

[battyatty]

I love Hummus I have it as a snack almost everyday, isn't it made from chick peas.

I am hummus crazy myself, I make it with canned kidney beans as they are cooked already so only takes 3 mins to make! ( and damn cheap) Also mixed canned beans are great for it too, I like to experiment with different things like peppers, onion, garlic, spices and chopped olives! I don't always use tahini, but you can use better oils like extra virgin!

 

[marathongirl]

Yes I would agree you should know your levels before blindly taking DHEA. My FS routinely prescribes it for older women ttc. I didn't end up taking it as he wanted me to get a mammogram first. I guess the hormones can exacerbate anything that could be developing in your breasts. I did end up taking CoQ10 for several months to boost my eggs. I took at least 600mg a day of the ubiquinol type. It's quite expensive but worth it if you get your BFP and baby!

 

[BBbliss]

Batty, good stuff that hummus, hehe my DF said there was an article on the paper this wk saying there's a shortage of chick peas from so many people into hummus now. I squeeze a lemon and pour some olive oil on top. Try it its delicious

Girls, way to be on top of things! Knowledge is power! When I got my tests back I asked for a copy and took it home to research each individual result. They said my DHEA was high, but when I looked at it it was high for my age! But it matched women in their mid 20's and I think that's great. So when they say normal is it compared to what? For the exact reason that I'm TTC I hope my levels are as close to those woman in prime reproductive time as possible. I also have been on coQ10 for many months I really hope the studies are right because what's most important right is not so much the quantity but the quality of our eggs as you girls know.

 

[battyatty]

Well my AF came much earlier than expected, actually I should say hoped for. Due to having an IUD I hadn't kept track of my cycle length, I've had one of those damn things in there for the last 12 years! So my first cycle has come in at 22 days, AF on dpo12! That has me worried, pre IUD my cycle length was always 28 days. I'm hoping its just because I've only had one cycle since its removal and maybe my cycles will lengthen with time, but I don't have time!!!!!!
The other problem is my GP wants me in for progesterone tests, 7 days before the big O and 7 days after. Could you girls look at my chart and see if I should time it from my last chart! Don't want to get this wrong lol!

 

[BBbliss]

Well my AF came much earlier than expected, actually I should say hoped for. Due to having an IUD I hadn't kept track of my cycle length, I've had one of those damn things in there for the last 12 years! So my first cycle has come in at 22 days, AF on dpo12! That has me worried, pre IUD my cycle length was always 28 days. I'm hoping its just because I've only had one cycle since its removal and maybe my cycles will lengthen with time, but I don't have time!!!!!!
The other problem is my GP wants me in for progesterone tests, 7 days before the big O and 7 days after. Could you girls look at my chart and see if I should time it from my last chart! Don't want to get this wrong lol!

This is not bad! I came from the same background and my first LP was only 10 that first cycle is just your body getting adjusted to doing the work on its own again. The next one will be longer. Your last chart is everything you have to go by but I bet your cycles will be longer and your O date may change as well. Mine were all over the place the first couple of months.

 

[Delphine11]

I'm leaning towards going to see my Doctor now, having previously been scared he'd laugh at me or throw up his hands in horror at me wanting to get pregnant at my age (not that I feel very old).

But one thing's concerning me: I read a lot about people having this test and that test, but I'm in the UK and getting to see a doctor is a nuisance in itself - everything seems to take so long. To me, it's pretty urgent because of my age so I don't want to be made to faff about for weeks just to get some simple blood tests, then wait ages for the results, then repeat again and again every time I want a basic check. Apart from being annoying, that'd be stressful too.

Sorry if this is a rude question, and please ignore it if it is, but are there any other ladies in the UK and are you seeing a doctor privately (i.e paying)? Maybe I'm a pessimistic but I keep worrying things will take too long with the NHS. I know that's impatient of me, but some days I do feel very impatient
Some days it feels like every woman in the world's pregnant except me! I couldn't afford to pay much, but I was thinking maybe I could pay for tests and advice just to give me a headstart.

I'm currently upping my CoQ10 dose and I've bought some ubiquinol too. I'm going to try taking the dose as half CoQ10 and half ubiquinol, and I'm thinking of going for 300mg of CoQ10 and 100mg of ubiquinol. I think I read that ubiquinol's much better absorbed so counts as a triple dose. That'd mean I'd be taking the equivalent of 600mg of CoQ10. Is that enough? I kept seeing 600mg mentioned as a good amount, but now I'm seeing 800mg mentioned as the best dose on some sites. The stuff isn't cheap!

Is anyone taking PQQ (or whatever it's called)? I saw some on Amazon and it's supposed to be super-good for your eggs.

 

[BBbliss]

I'm leaning towards going to see my Doctor now, having previously been scared he'd laugh at me or throw up his hands in horror at me wanting to get pregnant at my age (not that I feel very old).

But one thing's concerning me: I read a lot about people having this test and that test, but I'm in the UK and getting to see a doctor is a nuisance in itself - everything seems to take so long. To me, it's pretty urgent because of my age so I don't want to be made to faff about for weeks just to get some simple blood tests, then wait ages for the results, then repeat again and again every time I want a basic check. Apart from being annoying, that'd be stressful too.

Sorry if this is a rude question, and please ignore it if it is, but are there any other ladies in the UK and are you seeing a doctor privately (i.e paying)? Maybe I'm a pessimistic but I keep worrying things will take too long with the NHS. I know that's impatient of me, but some days I do feel very impatient
Some days it feels like every woman in the world's pregnant except me! I couldn't afford to pay much, but I was thinking maybe I could pay for tests and advice just to give me a headstart.

I'm currently upping my CoQ10 dose and I've bought some ubiquinol too. I'm going to try taking the dose as half CoQ10 and half ubiquinol, and I'm thinking of going for 300mg of CoQ10 and 100mg of ubiquinol. I think I read that ubiquinol's much better absorbed so counts as a triple dose. That'd mean I'd be taking the equivalent of 600mg of CoQ10. Is that enough? I kept seeing 600mg mentioned as a good amount, but now I'm seeing 800mg mentioned as the best dose on some sites. The stuff isn't cheap!

Is anyone taking PQQ (or whatever it's called)? I saw some on Amazon and it's supposed to be super-good for your eggs.

Delphine, when I first told my OBGYN, who delivered my DDs who are now 16and 17, that I wanted another baby she just made this face like "oooo" she did what she had to do and was very aggressive with all tests ASAP, but she never once encouraged me, I just decided to have my own believes and not let people decide for me. Now my second doctor, the one performing my tubal cannulation, was very sweet and he wouldn't be doing it if he thought I didn't have a chance. I read that some doctors don't perform this procedure in woman over 38 and just go strait to IVF. But he's doing it because he believe I can get pregnant. Now, I understand you have to wait months at a time to get anything done in the UK, but you can still do your blood work privately once you have the results do your research and when you do get that appointment you come with the results in hand. It will save you months!

 

[battyatty]

I'm leaning towards going to see my Doctor now, having previously been scared he'd laugh at me or throw up his hands in horror at me wanting to get pregnant at my age (not that I feel very old).

But one thing's concerning me: I read a lot about people having this test and that test, but I'm in the UK and getting to see a doctor is a nuisance in itself - everything seems to take so long. To me, it's pretty urgent because of my age so I don't want to be made to faff about for weeks just to get some simple blood tests, then wait ages for the results, then repeat again and again every time I want a basic check. Apart from being annoying, that'd be stressful too.

Sorry if this is a rude question, and please ignore it if it is, but are there any other ladies in the UK and are you seeing a doctor privately (i.e paying)? Maybe I'm a pessimistic but I keep worrying things will take too long with the NHS. I know that's impatient of me, but some days I do feel very impatient
Some days it feels like every woman in the world's pregnant except me! I couldn't afford to pay much, but I was thinking maybe I could pay for tests and advice just to give me a headstart.

I'm currently upping my CoQ10 dose and I've bought some ubiquinol too. I'm going to try taking the dose as half CoQ10 and half ubiquinol, and I'm thinking of going for 300mg of CoQ10 and 100mg of ubiquinol. I think I read that ubiquinol's much better absorbed so counts as a triple dose. That'd mean I'd be taking the equivalent of 600mg of CoQ10. Is that enough? I kept seeing 600mg mentioned as a good amount, but now I'm seeing 800mg mentioned as the best dose on some sites. The stuff isn't cheap!

Is anyone taking PQQ (or whatever it's called)? I saw some on Amazon and it's supposed to be super-good for your eggs.

I'm not in the UK, I am in Ireland, but I grew up and lived in UK for the first 26 years so I know what I am talking about! Ireland does not have the free service like the NHS. We pay to see our docs, but blood tests are free. When I saw my doc he did the bloods right there and then. Tests were back in 7 days. He also referred me to the Public fertility clinic 60 miles away! I live very rural so bloods are sent to big cities. All I can say is go to your GP first and ask him what he can offer you, before you put your hand in your pocket!

As to CoQ10 try this link
https://heal-thyself.ning.com/profiles/blogs/coenzyme-q10-food-sources
I prefer to find my needs in food rather than manufactured pills! It also my help if funds are tight!

Go to your GP, they really do want to help! Good luck and lets us know what happens!

 

[battyatty]

OMG you're kidding aren't you about the wait Months!
I may be moving over to the UK very soon! I'm worried now because my GP has been all for me trying for a baby! I thought with the better medical service back in the UK it would be at least the same help, if not better!

 

[Delphine11]

OMG you're kidding aren't you about the wait Months!
I may be moving over to the UK very soon! I'm worried now because my GP has been all for me trying for a baby! I thought with the better medical service back in the UK it would be at least the same help, if not better!

Well, I might be exaggerating a little about the "months" but it'd certainly be a number of week before I got to see a consultant if I needed to see one. I'm not sure how long the waiting list is in my area. Also, my own GP (doctor) has the most annoying appointment system ever. You have to phone up and ask for a callback from a doctor, then the doctor decides whether you need to see them or not. Last time I asked to see the doctor (nothing related to TTC) they said I could just see a nurse, which I wasn't very happy about. So I'd have to get an appointment with a doctor, ask for tests, come back to have the tests taken when the blood-taking nurse is free (I waited 2-3 wks for blood tests once), then wait a week for the results, then phone up to get an appt. with the doctor to discuss the results, then, if necessary get referred to a consultant, etc etc. You know what it's like - when you're that bit older you feel the pressure of time a lot. It's not like being 20 yrs old or something when you have years and years of chances to conceive.

I wish I could just phone some expert up and see them a.s.a.p.

Don't worry though because a) you won't have to go through my doctor's silly phone system, and b) with you I think it'd be a bit different because you've already started on a doctor-led plan of TTC. So I'd guess any UK doctor would see you and then go along with what you and your doctor in Ireland had planned. If I was you, I'd get your current doctor to write a letter or something that you can give your new doctor in the UK.

Another point to make is that I'm in a rural area in SW England so they isn't much choice of services here. It depends where you're moving to in the UK. I'm sure bigger cites or anywhere near major cities would be a lot better. For me, I feel stuck by not being near big cities and major facilities.

I think the most important thing is to find a doctor you get along with, that you trust, and who takes your opinion and wishes seriously.

 

[Delphine11]

Delphine, when I first told my OBGYN, who delivered my DDs who are now 16and 17, that I wanted another baby she just made this face like "oooo" she did what she had to do and was very aggressive with all tests ASAP, but she never once encouraged me, I just decided to have my own believes and not let people decide for me. Now my second doctor, the one performing my tubal cannulation, was very sweet and he wouldn't be doing it if he thought I didn't have a chance. I read that some doctors don't perform this procedure in woman over 38 and just go strait to IVF. But he's doing it because he believe I can get pregnant. Now, I understand you have to wait months at a time to get anything done in the UK, but you can still do your blood work privately once you have the results do your research and when you do get that appointment you come with the results in hand. It will save you months!

Thank you BBbliss. I'm already preparing what to say to my doctor in my head, and which doctor to go to see (there are about 8 in the centre I go to). You're absolutely right about not letting people decide for you. I've done a lot of reading and a lot of thinking and I'm sure what I'm doing is right. I'm not one to rush into things.

A big thing that's pushing me is thinking about my new and very lovely partner. He doesn't have any children and he'd be totally over the moon if we had a child. I'd do anything to give him a child if I can. He's a lovely guy and he deserves it. More importantly, he'd a fantastic dad. So that motivates me a lot.

He's away soon and I think maybe I'll take that opportunity to see a doctor then. I don't want to tell him and get him all worried or stressed.

 

[Delphine11]

I'm not in the UK, I am in Ireland, but I grew up and lived in UK for the first 26 years so I know what I am talking about! Ireland does not have the free service like the NHS. We pay to see our docs, but blood tests are free. When I saw my doc he did the bloods right there and then. Tests were back in 7 days. He also referred me to the Public fertility clinic 60 miles away! I live very rural so bloods are sent to big cities. All I can say is go to your GP first and ask him what he can offer you, before you put your hand in your pocket!

As to CoQ10 try this link
https://heal-thyself.ning.com/profiles/blogs/coenzyme-q10-food-sources
I prefer to find my needs in food rather than manufactured pills! It also my help if funds are tight!

Go to your GP, they really do want to help! Good luck and lets us know what happens!

Thank you for all that encouragement. Thanks to you kind ladies here, I'm feeling much more optimistic about seeing a doctor. It's so good to be able to talk to people in a similar situation. It helps me stay objective too. Sometimes if you only listen to the voice in your own head, you persuade yourself of something that isn't true, or worry unnecessarily. Hearing what you all have to say here has really cheered me up and energised me.

Thank you too for that link. I had no idea which foods CoQ10 was in at all so that's very useful. Got it bookmarked I do think a healthy diet is really important as you get older.

 

[SabrinaKat]

We saw a private ob-gyn here in Ireland and then began pre-IVF consultant at the Lister. My GP here was fantastic and she ran most of the tests (except for AMH, which had to be done privately), in my case, I was put on metformin and then, when the pre-IVF bloods showed I had an underactive thyroid, put me on a low dose of eltroxin. I was also doing acupunture after meeting with a fertility nurse at Zita West's clinic in London. Ultimately, we got lucky naturally at age 43, with our LO born last year - and he's a very happy and healthy little boy....

We have decided to ttc again, although I am at ripe old age of 45. My GP saw no reason not to, as it appears that statistically 45 isn't that far off 43/44 (in terms of fertility) and my pregnancy itself was okay until the last few weeks. Sadly, I did have a mc back when I was 41, but am hopeful that it was the undiagnosed thyroid that may have been the problem?

anyway, will be touching base in this thread (if you don't mind), for a bit of encouragement! We conceived our LO last time around day 9 (!), as we were advised due to longish PCOS cycles to try from day 7 to day 30 (!) and hopefully, will get lucky again. If not, c'est la vie....

hugs and best wishes!

ps. I also had/now again have a very healthy diet before getting lucky last time, but no money for acupunture this time around....!