Anyone over 45 TTc ?buddies needed <3

[BBbliss]

Delphine, thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words. That hug was much needed.

Right now from what I have read the only solution is IVF/ICSI. But that's from the experts so I found a guy on line with blog who said he reverted the diagnosis with supplements. Now I just need to convince DF to try, he doesn't trust the industry but its our only chance. He also has a low count but if we can fix that maybe there will be a chance a very small percentage could be normal. Right now that number is ZERO.

 

[battyatty]

Omi, yes please share! Dmama, how did you get BFP at 44? I'm 44 in November.

Well, I'm feeling a little defeated this morning. I've been trying since April. All blood EXELENT! Only to find out tubes were bloked. Took care of that with a recent procedure that unblocked one side. One is better then none. Now yesterday I got my DF SA and he has teratozoopermia 100%. Meaning all his sperm is defected. Talk about another road block...

I even had a nightmare last night that a nurse told me we have a 1% chance. I don't know what we are going to try next. I just finished my first round of clomid and should be ovulating by this weekend. I'll have all those eggs getting released and his sperm will MOST likely not be able to fertilize ANY. I feel so sad right now.

oh BBbliss I bet you want to scream at the sky with frustration!
Is there anything that can help?

As said before, we may be strangers, but we all feel your pain, and are sending all our hopes and love to you.....
Think positively, stressing will not help. I know its easier said than done...
Giving you the biggest hug possible xxxx

 

[BBbliss]

Batty, thank you. I tried to have a relaxing day, Acupunture and then a meditation class. I'm trying to just stay calm and let life unfold. DF and I talked about it last night and he just wants to go strait to IVF/ICSI. It looks like its our only option. I told him a need a break. These last couple of months have been really hard on me. I need a little time to feel like myself again and to recharge. He's starting a supplement regime and by 3 months time when we get to IVF his sperm count will likely improve and maybe even, who knows, they will find some good ones in there. What happens is his sperm is all misshaped and can't fertilize the egg on their own. They need to a little push literally.

We are buying a house and moving so that should help putting my mind on other things right now.

Thank you for that hug

 

[Delphine11]

battyatty,

No, I've never heard of Glow First (or anything like it). Interesting.

BBbliss - supplements are a great idea. I did a little bit of googling and read how men had improved the morphology of their sperm with supplements. Any improvement would be good, right? I was wondering if something like CoQ10 would help? I take that because it's supposed to help eggs on a cellular level and sperm are cells too just like eggs. I was also thinking that SAs aren't absolutes any more than female hormone tests are. Things could vary from month to month.Your IVF/ICSI plan sounds very good and very sensible, as does you taking time just to be yourself and to recharge. Spoil yourself and relax.

 

[BBbliss]

battyatty,

No, I've never heard of Glow First (or anything like it). Interesting.

BBbliss - supplements are a great idea. I did a little bit of googling and read how men had improved the morphology of their sperm with supplements. Any improvement would be good, right? I was wondering if something like CoQ10 would help? I take that because it's supposed to help eggs on a cellular level and sperm are cells too just like eggs. I was also thinking that SAs aren't absolutes any more than female hormone tests are. Things could vary from month to month.Your IVF/ICSI plan sounds very good and very sensible, as does you taking time just to be yourself and to recharge. Spoil yourself and relax.

Delphine, you are absolutely right I had been asking him to start CoQ10 for months now!!! Since we started trying! He was reluctant and didn't take it. He's very sceptic of the vitamin industry, but now he doesn't have a choice! He ordered some plus a couple of other things. We are testing him again next week to see if there's any variation from first SA. I do believe in taking control and supplementing with herbs and vitamins. Lets see what it's like again in a couple of moths.

 

[dmama]

Omi, yes please share! Dmama, how did you get BFP at 44? I'm 44 in November.

Well, I'm feeling a little defeated this morning. I've been trying since April. All blood EXELENT! Only to find out tubes were bloked. Took care of that with a recent procedure that unblocked one side. One is better then none. Now yesterday I got my DF SA and he has teratozoopermia 100%. Meaning all his sperm is defected. Talk about another road block...

I even had a nightmare last night that a nurse told me we have a 1% chance. I don't know what we are going to try next. I just finished my first round of clomid and should be ovulating by this weekend. I'll have all those eggs getting released and his sperm will MOST likely not be able to fertilize ANY. I feel so sad right now.

oh gosh....I feel sorry about your DF SA...can they get even ONE sperm? because then you could IVF with ICSI and they just use one sperm injected into one egg? very sorry about that hun....if you both agree, you can also use donor sperm...another gal who got pregnant at the same time as me had a hubby with the same problem and they used donor sperm....I guess there is no way to discuss and come to that decision by this weekend....hugs

as for me, I got pregnant with my 2nd IVF cycle...may consider an IUI this time around as chances are so low anyway....may try the cheaper route....we will see

 

[dmama]

battyatty,

No, I've never heard of Glow First (or anything like it). Interesting.

BBbliss - supplements are a great idea. I did a little bit of googling and read how men had improved the morphology of their sperm with supplements. Any improvement would be good, right? I was wondering if something like CoQ10 would help? I take that because it's supposed to help eggs on a cellular level and sperm are cells too just like eggs. I was also thinking that SAs aren't absolutes any more than female hormone tests are. Things could vary from month to month.Your IVF/ICSI plan sounds very good and very sensible, as does you taking time just to be yourself and to recharge. Spoil yourself and relax.

Delphine, you are absolutely right I had been asking him to start CoQ10 for months now!!! Since we started trying! He was reluctant and didn't take it. He's very sceptic of the vitamin industry, but now he doesn't have a choice! He ordered some plus a couple of other things. We are testing him again next week to see if there's any variation from first SA. I do believe in taking control and supplementing with herbs and vitamins. Lets see what it's like again in a couple of moths.

I should have read through the posts before replying....
Your plan sounds great. And make sure he isn't taking too hot baths, biking a lot, saunas or wearing tight undies...his little guys there need to breathe

 

[BBbliss]

Dmama, good luck with your iui. We don't have that option unfortunately ICSI could be our only hope and like you we have to pay for it as his insurance has a 44 year old cut off for infertility treatments. I with we had known before we just spent all that money on procedures to unblock my tubes. I had asked him to get his SA months ago but of course he never thought he had a problem. He got a girlfriend pregnant in college and she had an eptopic.
We had been doing hot yoga once a month for the last 6 months at least. Well, that's over now I told him his not allowed. I do think that had something to do with it being 100% of them. I really hope! We are doing another SA in a couple of months to see but I just read sperm takes months to mature. I just want to avoid IVF costs and heartbreak. This is a tough journey. Tell me about your IVF experience. I don't know anyone around me who has done it. My RE told me his not concerned with the morphology I think that's something they can work around, maybe they can find the best looking guy and use him

 

[dmama]

Dmama, good luck with your iui. We don't have that option unfortunately ICSI could be our only hope and like you we have to pay for it as his insurance has a 44 year old cut off for infertility treatments. I with we had known before we just spent all that money on procedures to unblock my tubes. I had asked him to get his SA months ago but of course he never thought he had a problem. He got a girlfriend pregnant in college and she had an eptopic.
We had been doing hot yoga once a month for the last 6 months at least. Well, that's over now I told him his not allowed. I do think that had something to do with it being 100% of them. I really hope! We are doing another SA in a couple of months to see but I just read sperm takes months to mature. I just want to avoid IVF costs and heartbreak. This is a tough journey. Tell me about your IVF experience. I don't know anyone around me who has done it. My RE told me his not concerned with the morphology I think that's something they can work around, maybe they can find the best looking guy and use him

BBliss...I just lost a long post...

But to be honest, I don't expect my IUI to work. But since we are out of pocket, I want to know how I will respond to the meds this time with a cheaper cycle because we don't expect to get a lot of eggs this time. My lab values were way worse than before, so we don't have high hopes that either IUI or IVF will work, so we figure why spend all that money, especially when the drugs alone are 5k or more. Being out of pocket is tough and we are still paying off a bit of the second cycle, but I can't really complain because I have a beautiful baby now and that is priceless....

As for the IVF and ICSI...the RE says that at this age, some women have toughened shells covering the eggs and the sperm have a hard time getting in..so they advise ICSI for all over 40s. So I just went for it. And we went directly to IVF because of my age. The first cycle didn't work and I didn't get any frosties, so that is why we did cycle two, which worked, but still didn't get me any frosties... so here we are. If your RE is not worried about the SA then I would trust him. They only need one and I guess they feel with ICSI they can get it....

I understand your concerns about IVF and the costs...it is really hard to get that money and then hand it over for a low possibility...I would not play those odds in any game of poker or anything...but I really wanted a chance for my own child, so I needed to do what had to be done so I could have no regrets either way....so now, we just have an extra bill for a few more months/year HA HA!!!!! But there is no regret at all...

If I were going for my first child now at 45+, I would probably go straight to IVF and then go from there. It doesn't seem like you have too much choice considering the sperm issue, unless it gets better, but as you wait for that to get better, your eggs are continuing to decline in quality. So I would not wait too long...if you do ICSI, his spermies don't have to get too much better is what the RE seems to be saying....

There are some people that get preggo on their own after 45, so I say that it isn't over till it is over, but with some of the issues you mentioned to us here, it might be a bit tougher than the usual toughness so to speak, and so I hope that sooner than later, the way forward will become clear....

I don't know if any of this is helpful.

 

[battyatty]

dmama wow your amazing, and so are all the other wonderful ladies that have gone through so much to get this elusive prize.

Oh how I wish that I had the option of all this fertility aid... we don't have insurance and definitely not the money, all my hopes pin on me doing this all by myself. At 47, who knows?
Yes I have 3 children already, but they were with my ex, this one is with my new DF and he has none. TBH if together we can't produce an heir I think it will drive us apart. There is no way I can ask him to stay with me and never father a child. Having my own children I know how much pain not having your own children would be. So this an emotional period all round as a lot rests on maybe the next 6 months, thats what I think is my very optimistic chance of conceiving at my age.....

Oh I am feeling sorry for myself today lol

 

[BBbliss]

Dmama, thank you for taking the time and sharing your story. It does help and that's why we are here, to share are experiences... I'm so happy for you you have that baby now. I really hope you can find that joy of caring a child again.

My DF didn't want to wait either, but its me who needs a break. We are buying a house and moving within the next month and that's a lot to deal with and I want to be settled in and not stressed while on our IVF/ICSI cycle. I'm still doing my own research and I did find a couple of people who got BfP naturally with teratozoospermia. The morphology criteria is very strict and with a variation from SA to SA who knows, we could have a miracle before Christmas. I'm not very worried about my eggs yet, I still have a high AFC and even being aware of age I really hope they will find some good eggs in there. A couple of cycles should not make a huge difference. I hope.

Batty, don't be so hard on yourself! If you are engaged is because that man loves you as you are. If he really does he will stay with you baby or no baby. I'm on same boat, but I told DF it's his fault for falling for an older woman, lol but he knew the odds before he proposed and said he rather have me and no kids than some other woman and a baby. And look what just happened! It's HIM who can't make a baby now, isn't it ironic?

We are all in this together and that's what a partnership is all about. We make the best with what we have.

Btw my best friend's aunt got married and pregnant naturally at 49! Her son is 14 now.

 

[Delphine11]

...Oh how I wish that I had the option of all this fertility aid... we don't have insurance and definitely not the money, all my hopes pin on me doing this all by myself. At 47, who knows?
Yes I have 3 children already, but they were with my ex, this one is with my new DF and he has none. TBH if together we can't produce an heir I think it will drive us apart. There is no way I can ask him to stay with me and never father a child. Having my own children I know how much pain not having your own children would be. So this an emotional period all round as a lot rests on maybe the next 6 months, thats what I think is my very optimistic chance of conceiving at my age.....

Oh I am feeling sorry for myself today lol

I sympathise,battyatty. My partner is younger than me too, and has no children. He'd love to have a child though. I care more about conceiving for him than for myself because I know just how happy he'd be. Sometimes I have spells of beating myself up about it - about my age and my cr*ppy old eggs, but then I worry that I'm getting too stressed and harming my chances of conceiving!

It's so hard when you want something so much and yet need to stay calm. It's also hard not to get obsessed by it. That's another fear I have - that my efforts and focus on TTC will be too much for my partner. I try to keep him 'updated' about what day of my menstrual cycle I'm on and my temps, and things like that, but sometimes I worry that I'm saying too much and talking about it too much. How much do men want to know, do you think? I feel bad because my partner is a darling and is pretty optimistic, so I don't want to harp on about OPKs and CM and hormones all the time and bring him down. It's hard to strike a balance.

BBbliss - thank you for that info about the 49yr old conceiving! That cheered me up. Nice to have stuff like that to read

 

[battyatty]

Batty, don't be so hard on yourself! If you are engaged is because that man loves you as you are. If he really does he will stay with you baby or no baby. I'm on same boat, but I told DF it's his fault for falling for an older woman, lol but he knew the odds before he proposed and said he rather have me and no kids than some other woman and a baby. And look what just happened! It's HIM who can't make a baby now, isn't it ironic?

We are all in this together and that's what a partnership is all about. We make the best with what we have.

Btw my best friend's aunt got married and pregnant naturally at 49! Her son is 14 now.

I sympathise,battyatty. My partner is younger than me too, and has no children. He'd love to have a child though. I care more about conceiving for him than for myself because I know just how happy he'd be. Sometimes I have spells of beating myself up about it - about my age and my cr*ppy old eggs, but then I worry that I'm getting too stressed and harming my chances of conceiving!

It's so hard when you want something so much and yet need to stay calm. It's also hard not to get obsessed by it. That's another fear I have - that my efforts and focus on TTC will be too much for my partner. I try to keep him 'updated' about what day of my menstrual cycle I'm on and my temps, and things like that, but sometimes I worry that I'm saying too much and talking about it too much. How much do men want to know, do you think? I feel bad because my partner is a darling and is pretty optimistic, so I don't want to harp on about OPKs and CM and hormones all the time and bring him down. It's hard to strike a balance.

BBbliss - thank you for that info about the 49yr old conceiving! That cheered me up. Nice to have stuff like that to read

Ladies thank you so much, I feel very alone at the moment, I can't talk to him and were keeping it very quiet, no point in telling anyone unless it happens/nothing happens.

I'm probably feeling down due to quitting the cigs, drink, green tea and only allowing myself 1 coffee a day. No wonder I'm a wreck!

49 hey, still hope then!

 

[dmama]

dmama wow your amazing, and so are all the other wonderful ladies that have gone through so much to get this elusive prize.

Oh how I wish that I had the option of all this fertility aid... we don't have insurance and definitely not the money, all my hopes pin on me doing this all by myself. At 47, who knows?
Yes I have 3 children already, but they were with my ex, this one is with my new DF and he has none. TBH if together we can't produce an heir I think it will drive us apart. There is no way I can ask him to stay with me and never father a child. Having my own children I know how much pain not having your own children would be. So this an emotional period all round as a lot rests on maybe the next 6 months, thats what I think is my very optimistic chance of conceiving at my age.....

Oh I am feeling sorry for myself today lol

Hi there
Don't feel sorry for yourself....it is so understandable....I really don't have the funds either....so we are trying IUI as that is not very expensive here at all...after that we have to decide what to do....if a mini IVF will work or not as that is not as expensive as a full cycle...but we will see....

At 47 you have a chance...you have to just make sure to catch every cycle--or just BD every other day....If your RE says you have no uterine abnormalities and you have no problems with progesterone levels and no sperm issues, then really that is all you can do...have you tried those instead cups? do you have those where you are? you can either have DF ejaculate into them and put it up by the cervix---some say have an orgasm then--or you can BD and then put the cup in right away to keep the spermies up near the cervix...I forget how long they say to keep it in, but a couple of hours at least...some people say it works!

Don't give up hope...

 

[dmama]

Btw my best friend's aunt got married and pregnant naturally at 49! Her son is 14 now.

I love this...I believe we have hope still!


BBliss...for sure, you have a lot going on with moving and all...I would not worry right now either...take care of one thing at a time....sometimes they say when you aren't expecting it it happens...

 

[battyatty]

Right well here goes, my last vent, then its off this site for good.
Well things have come to ahead this morning, after he spent yet another night in the spare room, he has come to his decision.
He wants kids, infact he wants 3 kids, but not right now, and not with me! His argument, he doesn't believe we would make good parents together. Due to all the problems we have had in our relationship.
He is adamant he still wants to be in a relationship with me....? But wants kids in the future, he isn't ready to have kids yet, maybe in 5 years. (he will be 45 by then)
So basically he is asking me to move country with him for his job. Thats move my entire home and 3 kids and then wait till he wants kids. By then I will be 52ish! Then what? Be a good girl, sit at home and let him have babies with another woman??? I don't think so...

So girls this is the end of TTC and I cant stay here, as I so wanted to have a baby and now its not going to happen. Thank you and all the other ladies who have been so wonderful, and I wish you all my love and hope you all get your sticky beans, you all deserve them so much! xxxx

 

[Delphine11]

Right well here goes, my last vent, then its off this site for good.
Well things have come to ahead this morning, after he spent yet another night in the spare room, he has come to his decision.
He wants kids, infact he wants 3 kids, but not right now, and not with me! His argument, he doesn't believe we would make good parents together. Due to all the problems we have had in our relationship.
He is adamant he still wants to be in a relationship with me....? But wants kids in the future, he isn't ready to have kids yet, maybe in 5 years. (he will be 45 by then)
So basically he is asking me to move country with him for his job. Thats move my entire home and 3 kids and then wait till he wants kids. By then I will be 52ish! Then what? Be a good girl, sit at home and let him have babies with another woman??? I don't think so...

So girls this is the end of TTC and I cant stay here, as I so wanted to have a baby and now its not going to happen. Thank you and all the other ladies who have been so wonderful, and I wish you all my love and hope you all get your sticky beans, you all deserve them so much! xxxx

Oh, battyatty!

I don't know what to say.... All I would say is not to rush - to have a good think about what you want to do and about your future. Think of yourself first. I know we women often put everybody else first before ourselves. I did that for years - put my now-ex husband first and I regret it a lot. I lost sight of what I wanted from life. Think of what YOU want and think of your children. You're worth more than being second-best to somebody.

*a big hug* and best of luck for the future. XX

 

[BBbliss]

Right well here goes, my last vent, then its off this site for good.
Well things have come to ahead this morning, after he spent yet another night in the spare room, he has come to his decision.
He wants kids, infact he wants 3 kids, but not right now, and not with me! His argument, he doesn't believe we would make good parents together. Due to all the problems we have had in our relationship.
He is adamant he still wants to be in a relationship with me....? But wants kids in the future, he isn't ready to have kids yet, maybe in 5 years. (he will be 45 by then)
So basically he is asking me to move country with him for his job. Thats move my entire home and 3 kids and then wait till he wants kids. By then I will be 52ish! Then what? Be a good girl, sit at home and let him have babies with another woman??? I don't think so...

So girls this is the end of TTC and I cant stay here, as I so wanted to have a baby and now its not going to happen. Thank you and all the other ladies who have been so wonderful, and I wish you all my love and hope you all get your sticky beans, you all deserve them so much! xxxx

Oh batty, this is so sad... Life just seams unfair at times but you have to look at the big picture and love yourself more then anyone else. You deserve more! At our age what we need is the security of knowing we have a partner that will grow old by our side no matter what. After all you have invested in your own kids and all the relationships... This is the time you need to be cherished. I really hope you find your answers and do what's best for yourself. Best of luck

 

[Grey Eyes]

Yes I would agree you should know your levels before blindly taking DHEA. My FS routinely prescribes it for older women ttc. I didn't end up taking it as he wanted me to get a mammogram first. I guess the hormones can exacerbate anything that could be developing in your breasts. I did end up taking CoQ10 for several months to boost my eggs. I took at least 600mg a day of the ubiquinol type. It's quite expensive but worth it if you get your BFP and baby!

Hey girl! Long time no hear from How's that baby girl? Pics??? (hint hint)

 

[dmama]

Right well here goes, my last vent, then its off this site for good.
Well things have come to ahead this morning, after he spent yet another night in the spare room, he has come to his decision.
He wants kids, infact he wants 3 kids, but not right now, and not with me! His argument, he doesn't believe we would make good parents together. Due to all the problems we have had in our relationship.
He is adamant he still wants to be in a relationship with me....? But wants kids in the future, he isn't ready to have kids yet, maybe in 5 years. (he will be 45 by then)
So basically he is asking me to move country with him for his job. Thats move my entire home and 3 kids and then wait till he wants kids. By then I will be 52ish! Then what? Be a good girl, sit at home and let him have babies with another woman??? I don't think so...

So girls this is the end of TTC and I cant stay here, as I so wanted to have a baby and now its not going to happen. Thank you and all the other ladies who have been so wonderful, and I wish you all my love and hope you all get your sticky beans, you all deserve them so much! xxxx

so sorry to hear this news....I hope you will find the rainbow in this....