anyone really want a baby??

[Linzi]

I have to echo what everyone else has said hun. Im 21 so not a teenager, but I do feel very young to have a baby!

Firsty, my OH and I first moved in together with a few other people. When we finally moved out on our own into our own house, the stress was huge. It's really difficult getting used to each other in a house on your own. Don't get me wrong, I love living with my OH now but when we first moved in getting used to each others annoying habits was difficult and stressful for both of us. Our baby was born 2 weeks ago and, again, it's put our relationship under a lot of stress. I'm so pleased we lived together first for a while, because I think if we'd done both at the same time our relationship could possibly have crumbled and that isn't what I would want for my baby, myself or my OH!

Secondly, the financial issues - when I go back to work, we'll be forking out £660 a month in childcare because we both work full time. As well as £650 rent (private in an alright area), £140 council tax, £110 utilities, £10 TV license, £160 food and nappies plus however much it costs to feed a 6 month old baby, and because we earn a certain amount we're only entitled to £20 a week in benefits. It's not easy at all so it's definately something to think about. privately renting in a nice area, you'll be looking at quite an amount for that alone, so please think about that too.

You sound like a sensible girl and that you're looking at it from every side which is great, and it's good that you've come and asked for advice too. I have to say, from where Im sitting I dont think it would be a good idea for you to TTC BUT Im sure when the time is right and you decide to do so, you'll be a wonderful mum

Good luck!

xxx

 

[techi_girly]

Hi I agree with Linzi, Im 24, my third cycle TTC.

I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and have been broody for at least 3 years and everywhere I go I seem to see more babies : (

However I'm so glad that we have waited, we now have our own house, stable jobs and although we wont have a lot of disposable income when we do have a child we are in 100% a better position now that if we'd had a baby 3 years ago, I would never of graduated, never have been able to get a mortgage and would always be trying to make ends meet.

Finish college, go to uni and have some fun, before you know it you'll be in a much better position to have a baby!!
xx

 

[nikky0907]

Hey,I think the girls have said it all honey!

I'm turning 19 in a few weeks and I'm pregnant.I go to college,live alone,have money and it is very hard!

I mean,you have no idea how hard it is for me to juggle college and life...

You might think that it's easy but it's the hardest thing ever and the biggest decision you'll ever make...and it lasts your entire life.

Relationships fall apart,days can make a difference in your life...read around a bit,you'll see what kind of things girls face.

If you and your bf love each other so much you'll have no problem waiting,and straightening your relationship even more...

Good luck!

 

[brewanneanan]

I have to echo what everyone else has said hun. Im 21 so not a teenager, but I do feel very young to have a baby!

Firsty, my OH and I first moved in together with a few other people. When we finally moved out on our own into our own house, the stress was huge. It's really difficult getting used to each other in a house on your own. Don't get me wrong, I love living with my OH now but when we first moved in getting used to each others annoying habits was difficult and stressful for both of us. Our baby was born 2 weeks ago and, again, it's put our relationship under a lot of stress. I'm so pleased we lived together first for a while, because I think if we'd done both at the same time our relationship could possibly have crumbled and that isn't what I would want for my baby, myself or my OH!

Secondly, the financial issues - when I go back to work, we'll be forking out £660 a month in childcare because we both work full time. As well as £650 rent (private in an alright area), £140 council tax, £110 utilities, £10 TV license, £160 food and nappies plus however much it costs to feed a 6 month old baby, and because we earn a certain amount we're only entitled to £20 a week in benefits. It's not easy at all so it's definately something to think about. privately renting in a nice area, you'll be looking at quite an amount for that alone, so please think about that too.

You sound like a sensible girl and that you're looking at it from every side which is great, and it's good that you've come and asked for advice too. I have to say, from where Im sitting I dont think it would be a good idea for you to TTC BUT Im sure when the time is right and you decide to do so, you'll be a wonderful mum

Good luck!

xxx

I hope you and your partner are good now though!
and yeah i want a house and stable job first and obviously to leave college, but obviously the feeling of broodiness is overwhelming haha
and 11 people that i kow have all recently had kids and it's just like oh god, motherly instincts i guess, i suppose i'm gonna get these feelings as it's how my body is supposed to feel,

 

[brewanneanan]

Hi I agree with Linzi, Im 24, my third cycle TTC.

I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and have been broody for at least 3 years and everywhere I go I seem to see more babies : (

However I'm so glad that we have waited, we now have our own house, stable jobs and although we wont have a lot of disposable income when we do have a child we are in 100% a better position now that if we'd had a baby 3 years ago, I would never of graduated, never have been able to get a mortgage and would always be trying to make ends meet.

Finish college, go to uni and have some fun, before you know it you'll be in a much better position to have a baby!!
xx

well done for getting a mortage thats one thing i'm worried about, getting the credit rating and having a job to be able to get one, wouldnt wanna bring kids up anywhere else, and yeah i see babys everywhere its horrible, it's just like i want one i guess its probs a phase, but a baby shouldnt be a phase, i dunno as i said before, motherly instinct

 

[dizzy65]

I think it would be best to wait at least an year or until u are finanicialy capiable of looking after a child i no that prob doesnt sound like much coming from some one who is 18 and having a baby... It in the best interest of you and your child thou...

When i was 16 i wanted a baby and i did indeed get pregnant with my boyfriend then (and still is) about 2 months into it i had a miscarriage and was so scared to try again, but 18 i fell pregnant again and i feel that i am blessed... So to let u no that if your body isnt big enough to carey the baby the same thing could happen to u as did me, and my body wasnt mature enough to carry the baby...

But all in all i wish u the best of luck in what ever u decide to do... And talk things over with your boyfriend maybe u can work things out about this baby thing and if u are finiancily able to have a baby in a year or 2,,, I bet you and your boyfriend would make great parents some day when u have a baby

 

[shimmyshimmy]

To me, a teenager is still so young, and inexperienced.
However, there are many teenagers who seem to be a lot older than there years.
These are generally the ones who really think about the decision first, who consider what there decision will mean for themselves the baby and others around them. (like yourself)
So if you feel you are ready after really thinking hard about it, and you feel that you are mature enough to bring a child into the world, and put yourself second to it, then you should go for it.
If you think that you will have no money to provide for your child, that you still want to do your own thing, then like at any age, having a baby would not be the best decision to make. You have to sacrifice your freedom for a child, and although this is easy to do when you are truly ready, if you do it too prematurely the baby will notice this and feel very left out. A lady of 28 like myself may not be ready to sacrifice there freedom and time for a baby, and may decide to wait a few more years, until they have done everything they wanted to do first. That way, you will not be missing anything when you have your chldren and you can dedicate your entire life to that precious being,

Good luck with whatever you decide, at the end of the day, only you can come to this decision.
Shim,
xxx
Surely you want to be the best Mum you can be, think of it as preparation to becoming a Mum.x

 

[brewanneanan]

well i know what thats like, i spent half my life at my nan and grandads, as my mum wasnt ready to give up her young life, although she was 24....she's now 41 and still not ready to give it up....it's one thing i can't stand about her, and i would never want to be like that for my kids, but tbh i'm not really the kinda of person you will see at a party or getting drunk, i don't feel the need, maybe have a couple of mates round with a glass of wine is more what i'd be like haha. i don't really have a child like life tbh, i can't wait to get out of these teenager years so i can actually be taken more serious as being mature, at my age, you can act as mature as you like but no one will take you seriously.....but o well lol

 

[m_t_rose]

i can't wait to get out of these teenager years so i can actually be taken more serious as being mature, at my age, you can act as mature as you like but no one will take you seriously.....but o well lol

Even when your in your 20's no one takes you seriously... Until your in your late 20's or early 30's. We are trying to build a house but no one will listen to us or take us seriously

 

[lorrilou]

if i was you hun i would defo wait until you are financially stable. You really dont want to have a baby and not have any dosh, it will put a massive strain on your relationship with your boyfriend.

 

[Carlyanne15]

Personally, i think you should wait, finish College/School and go to Uni, and live a little, not saying your not now, but you really need to have a life before you settle down and become parents, i mean where would you live? How will you support your going family.
I'm 28 (29 in Sep) and i'm ready now! I've been and done all i want to do, and having a family now is great. We have a house, a great life and i know we are ready. I would just wait if i was you. I know the wanting can drive you mental, but its better to wait until your both ready

 

[brewanneanan]

yeah i agree, first things first getting a house, whats the average age to become a first time buyer?? and how to go about it? hmmm.....lol

 

[brewanneanan]

Even when your in your 20's no one takes you seriously... Until your in your late 20's or early 30's. We are trying to build a house but no one will listen to us or take us seriously

ah thats such a shame...your building your house...god i'd never have the patience to do that.

 

[orange-sox]

yeah i agree, first things first getting a house, whats the average age to become a first time buyer?? and how to go about it? hmmm.....lol

The average age of first time buyers is 34.. so a way off yet lol, that said my partner and I are looking around to buy when the market looks to be finally stablising, I'm 19 and he's 21.

I'm currently doing a degree (from home) and my other half is doing his training to be a driving instructor so soon money won't be quite the hurdle it is right now... (we're having to live with my mother for a while and it is hell on earth!)

I'm the same as you, I am ready to be a mother, but we are holding off for a while (much to my dismay)... I am hoping that we will be in a better position to start our family within the next year or so... but if nature decides otherwise then who am I to say anything.

I really understand where you're coming from... and I wanted to wish you all the best with ttc... but in the meantime, us girls on the WTTC board aren't so bad... bit crackers though

 

[brewanneanan]

The average age of first time buyers is 34.. so a way off yet lol, that said my partner and I are looking around to buy when the market looks to be finally stablising, I'm 19 and he's 21.

I'm currently doing a degree (from home) and my other half is doing his training to be a driving instructor so soon money won't be quite the hurdle it is right now... (we're having to live with my mother for a while and it is hell on earth!)

I'm the same as you, I am ready to be a mother, but we are holding off for a while (much to my dismay)... I am hoping that we will be in a better position to start our family within the next year or so... but if nature decides otherwise then who am I to say anything.

I really understand where you're coming from... and I wanted to wish you all the best with ttc... but in the meantime, us girls on the WTTC board aren't so bad... bit crackers though

haha yeah were living with my mum atm, its such a pain having to live under someone else's rules, been on the wttc forum a few times, but i thought i'd settle in teenage for a while lol......it's so nice reading everyones storys on here haha, I'm at college atm finishing my photography a level, hoping to get a degree, but tbh i don't think i'll need it, i guess photography's gonna be one of those hobbies instead of a job, and i will have to settle with a plain job.

 

[Sophie1205]

are u in college? i would say wait untill youve finished because im 15 weeks pregnant and it wasnt planned (but still a blessing of a suprise) and ive found it so difficult being pregnant and sitting my ALevels at the same time! as ur hormones will be all over the place its so hard to sit in like 3 hour exams, have the energy to do all of the revision etc... it is very stressful. so if u are still considering it please take that into account as other people have said as it is very hard. All the best in what you decide xxx

 

[lorrilou]

i know you said before that you already live together, but theres living together in someone elses house and living together on your own, the latter in my opinion being so much harder.

i had nicole when i was 20 and like yourself felt quite mature for my age. But me and oh moved in together for a while and i think that really helped us.

 

[brewanneanan]

are u in college? i would say wait untill youve finished because im 15 weeks pregnant and it wasnt planned (but still a blessing of a suprise) and ive found it so difficult being pregnant and sitting my ALevels at the same time! as ur hormones will be all over the place its so hard to sit in like 3 hour exams, have the energy to do all of the revision etc... it is very stressful. so if u are still considering it please take that into account as other people have said as it is very hard. All the best in what you decide xxx

yeah i'm doing my alevels now, i think i will wait till i finish that before i think about it tb, unless ofcourse accidents happen :S im not realy sure anymore haha, and stress levels are high for me now, god knows what there like for you baby an all, good luck with everything

 

[Sophie1205]

thanks sweetie
If you know ur not ready financially etc... then be careful with your contraception and just wait for a better time
Alevels are very stressful i agree they were hard to handle before i got pregnant. Just glad exams are out the way now.
all the best.
xxxx

 

[brewanneanan]

thanks sweetie
If you know ur not ready financially etc... then be careful with your contraception and just wait for a better time
Alevels are very stressful i agree they were hard to handle before i got pregnant. Just glad exams are out the way now.
all the best.
xxxx

i'm starting my 2nd year now, so 1 more load of exams then i'm done haha
I've applied for a fe jobs now, but not heard much back yet...i hope my c.v's ok :S