anyone really want a baby??

[Sophie1205]

yeah its difficult to get a job round this time of year with all the school leavers n that. thats why im on job seekers allowance unitll i can get a job, but esp. in my situation its harder to get a job because theyd only have me till about november so it is hard. it wud be better if u had a stable job first too cuz then u will be entitled to maternity pay etc.. whereas if i get a job now i wont be cuz i wnt have been with them long enough. what kind of jobs have u applied for? xxx

 

[brewanneanan]

yeah its difficult to get a job round this time of year with all the school leavers n that. thats why im on job seekers allowance unitll i can get a job, but esp. in my situation its harder to get a job because theyd only have me till about november so it is hard. it wud be better if u had a stable job first too cuz then u will be entitled to maternity pay etc.. whereas if i get a job now i wont be cuz i wnt have been with them long enough. what kind of jobs have u applied for? xxx

erm lidle haha they pay is like £7.70 hour wich is pretty good, erm reception jobs, general shop stuff really, when my oh gets a job hopefully we can save up enough to move out.

 

[Sophie1205]

yeah thats what we were gona do but even on my Oh's wage we just cant afford it we're living at his mums house untill bab's born and we've saved up enough to get our own place. we're still paying quite high rent to his mum tho :S which kinda defeats the purpose cuz its not giving us a chance to save up.
what kinda work is he looking for?

xxx

 

[brewanneanan]

yeah thats what we were gona do but even on my Oh's wage we just cant afford it we're living at his mums house untill bab's born and we've saved up enough to get our own place. we're still paying quite high rent to his mum tho :S which kinda defeats the purpose cuz its not giving us a chance to save up.
what kinda work is he looking for?

xxx

pph he cant be assed to work atm, and i keep applying for all the jobs he wats so hes alwys just like oh well im not gonna get it bla bla bla he wants one but he wants everyone else to do everything for him...his mums brought him up so dependant on everyone else, she still does everything for him now even though hes 18 haha, you 2 shuldnt be made to pay rent, annoys me when parents do that haha, i'd kill my mum if she made me and my partner pa rent ahah

 

[trishawootton]

pph he cant be assed to work atm, and i keep applying for all the jobs he wats so hes alwys just like oh well im not gonna get it bla bla bla he wants one but he wants everyone else to do everything for him...his mums brought him up so dependant on everyone else, she still does everything for him now even though hes 18 haha, you 2 shuldnt be made to pay rent, annoys me when parents do that haha, i'd kill my mum if she made me and my partner pa rent ahah

my OH was lke that lol till i made him get a job, we live at his parets aswell and have to pay rent and his mum does everything for him still and hes 21!!!

 

[Younglutonmum]

I think you're a very mature person by reading your posts. As others have said it's great that you've actually come for advice regarding TTC as a teen rather than just jumping into it.

As most have said. i'd say wait until your financially secure. It's so so expensive. I fell pregnant by accident & am now living off benefits. It's hardly any money at all. So don't think oh if I get prego by accident now it will be ok becuase I can claim!! You really don't want to be in that position, I promise you.

Also you've still got your whole life to live. I know by 17 I hadn't achieved half of my life ambitions & dreams. You haven't seen much of the world yet. You've got so much you can do before having a baby. Like travelling, working up the career ladder etc etc.

I know you & your bf have been together for a while but as others have also said, you may not nelieve it but things can change. I was with a lad from 12/13 right up till I was 18. I thought we would be together always, have kids, marriage etc. But we split & it was my decision. Feelings change so dramaticlly when ur a teen (hope I don't sound patronising) At 18 I wanted to be doing more with my life than acting like an old married couple. Im so glad I made that decision

Alsp you've said your bf can't be bothered to work at the moment. Hun a baby is twenty times harder than work!!

Also I think it's a good idea when ppl who are living with their parents pay rent. It teaches you financila responsibility. I paid rent when I lived with my mum & im glad I did. It taught me about the REAL WORLD

xXx

 

[orange-sox]

pph he cant be assed to work atm, and i keep applying for all the jobs he wats so hes alwys just like oh well im not gonna get it bla bla bla he wants one but he wants everyone else to do everything for him...his mums brought him up so dependant on everyone else, she still does everything for him now even though hes 18 haha, you 2 shuldnt be made to pay rent, annoys me when parents do that haha, i'd kill my mum if she made me and my partner pa rent ahah

Sounds a lot like my OH up until recently, in the end it was a case of him having to get a job or we'd have gone under. Men (especially teenagers that have been thoroughly mothered) can't see the wood for the trees and have to have a massive kick up the butt before they do anything!

We pay rent to my mother, but we've moved back here for a while and we're paying more than we were when we were in our own place which is a bit of a pain, but with our situation at the moment we can't get a tenancy anywhere, so we are having to delve into our savings (imo it's a little bit harsh the amount my mum is charging us, and it takes the piss a bit)

Why not suggesting to him he gets something part time so he has some extra spends? Might give him some motivation to get himself onto the career ladder so to speak? I know how difficult it is getting a job when you are actively trying (i still am atm), and he will probably be lacking a bit of confidence if he has been turned down, but you just have to get yourself back on track and keep trying.

Good luck with getting yourself a job too

 

[brewanneanan]

haha he doesnt think he needs a job as i said mummy boy haha his mum pays for everything he needs :s but owell haha and yeah i understand what you mean about feelings change, i do wanna be like an old married couple haha i'm really not up for the "party lifestyle" i just wanna get on with life, my biggest aspiration is to be a mother and have a family of my own, i obviously would like a career but i still believe in the old way of things, like the man is the bread earner haha and i guess paying rent to parents does get you ready for the real word, but i think also maybe in the years you have left at home you should have money to spend on your own things that others....i know at the moment my dad is paying £200 child support which goes towards my mums rent, but as soon as i turn 18 i think thats all going to be down to me. but i guess i'll be fine...hopefully i'll be out renting my own place by then.........i did the lottery tonight for the first time....i was soooooo hoping for a win.....but no nothing.....no easy way to getting a house is there haha

 

[Younglutonmum]

That's fair enough then hun about ur ambition being motherhood Everyone is different at the end of the day!! N I understand what you mean when you say that you like things the old fashioned way lol!!

Uve obviously really thought this through then & i'd say as soon as you & OH are financially stable with your own property be it rented or owned then go for it! Seriously give ur a OH a good kick up the backside into getting a job though. Being mummied is no excuse for not working. My brother gets all he wants from my parents but still got himself a job. He left college last Thursday & had a job by the next day

xxxx

 

[brewanneanan]

I've got another reason to get my life moving now, a few months ago my grandad died, a few days before i was telling him and my nan, that i want them too be around for the big things in my life, marrige, first home, and first child etc etc..... i know this is probably a stupid reason, but i don't think my nan's going to be around for much longer, i just want to make her proud and show her how i can move my life n my own, and obviously get a house.....and make her proud, before the same happens to her as what happend to my grandad...r.i.p grandad! xxx

 

[brewanneanan]

oh yes, got an interview with mcdonalds on friday hahaha....this is not really where i want to work, but i guess easy money haha....something to put on my c.v in later life.....haha what do you all think...mcdonalds !! i need a job so why not hey haha

 

[lorrilou]

a jobs a job at the end of the day. Good luck for your interview.

 

[sjnams]

I worked at mcds for 9 years and loved it. Made some really good life long friends there and also met my husband. The best bit was that the flexible hours meant that I could go back to college and then university. Good luck with the interview though!

 

[Berit87]

Hiya. I am 21 so a little bit older, not much though! I personally think it's a bit too early. It's a bit too early for me as well. I mean it's not if it happens accidentally, if you know what I mean. We're all going to survive and proved the best love and care we can. BUT. I am personally very worried. I earn a lot more than £250 a month (not trying to sound patronising or anything at all!), got my own house etc but I am still thinking that I am going to struggle and not sure how I am going to manage. So many things I need to get now and every single day after the baby is here. That scares me. When I wasn't pregnant I thought like "Sure I'd be fine if it should happen" and now that he's actually going to be here I am scared. Happier than ever, of course as well!
I mean even with £250 you would SURVIVE if you had to but you don't really want to be struggling to get by, you want to offer the best for your baby, dont you!
At the end of the day though, it depends on a million other things and is completely your and your boyfriend's decision!
All the best of luck and hope everything works out well!

 

[kadey]

I have just read this thread and I actually think you sound very grown up for your 17 years. When i was 17 i had been with my boyfriend for two years, we were living together and i thought i was ready for a baby. we both had jobs, we both were happy so y not?! about 5 months before my 18th birthday i went on my first girls holiday abroad. I cheated on my partner and the day i got back it wasn't the same. I knew i didnt want to be with him, i had wasted 2 whole years of my life and all i then wanted to do was go out get drunk, have a laff with my mates and get slaughtered. im not saying this is what is going to happen to you but just bear in mind that i was totally head over heals in love with his guy. im not 20 (21 in november) and pregnant. It wasn't planned and its THE scariest thing i have had to face up to in my life.
I suppose all im trying to say is just wait a little while. there will never be the perfect time to have a baby but having your own house, having stable jobs and a income obviously help.
good luck in making your decision and remember to keep us all updated
xxx

 

[brewanneanan]

good luck with your baby, i'm sure i will kepp you all updated, i'm always on here now replying to threads haha

 

[shimmyshimmy]

Luckily my hubby is an accountant and I have two work from home jobs working as a dance teacher and a co-ordinator.
I feel like we have enough money this time round, but with our first at 21 I had to leave my job, we lived in a rented house and my hubby was still at university, so we didnt have very much money at all.
I am looking forward to having the money this time to buy some cool bits and pieces for the bubba. At the end of the day, we all manage, we have too.
But do you want to just manage on the bread line, or do you want to have a little bit more than that.
All the love in the world unfortunately doesnt get you all the things the baby needs, food, buggy, car seat, milk, clothes, wipes, nappies, and later on education, trips, bus fares, after school clubs, more food, more clothes............it never ends.
xxx

 

[Ashhh]

Hi there, I know exactly how you feel, Me and my partner are so desperate to have a baby, Even thou we are both quite young, I think we would be fantastic parents,But like you said being financly stable is important and should always be first priority.My partner earns over 1000 each month and at the moment I havent got an income but of course I would go out and get a job,So I think that income would be fine.
If I was you then I would concentrate more on having a higher income and discussing the idea of having a baby with your partner before you plan on getting pregnant.
Best of Luck hun
x

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Hey, I started a thread similar to this in the waiting to try area.

I'm 19 but feel exactly the same way you do! i live with my boyfriend pretty much and i feel i'm mature enough and ready to have a baby but he isn't. From what people have said on here i've decided to wait until i finish uni and have got some kind of stable income and then i'm going to start trying hopefully if the oh will agree xxx

 

[Chinitaa_Xo]

im 17 too ; and hOnestLy ; i want to have a baby extremely badd
ive been dyinq to be a mother since i was 14. and now that ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years and i know i can take care of myself and my baby im ready to concieve ; my parents dont agree with the ideaa. i believe that my baby can be a change that both me and my other half need... i think he|she can be the greatest gift.