Anyone struggling to get baby number 2??

[celine]

Indeed darker! No rest for dh tonight!

 

[Munchkin30]

Yes button I think you're looking at a positive tomorrow or Friday at latest x

 

[LPF]

Hi ladies, jumping in.

I'm going through a third miscarriage at the moment. Totally crap but as soon as I got BFP I knew it would MC. Not sure why, just felt that way.

I'm going to go to the GP and ask for testing but I've no idea what that entails. Do gps just run a few blood tests or do you get referred somewhere who you can tell your story to (I've often wondered if my traumatic delivery with ds is to blame)

I'm also trying to come to terms with the potential that ds will be an only child. I'm finding it very difficult to picture and I get very upset but in reality, I can't keep going like this.

The last year has been dictated by TTC, pregnancy stress, MC truama and starting all over again and it's not healthy. I feel awful that this past year of DS's short life will be remembered for all the horrible reasons as nothing good has happened. But then I get blind, desperate panic that I'll never be pregnant again, never cuddle a newborn, never use all the baby stuff in the loft, never put 2 children to bed and watch two of them grow up and then the tears come.....if I'd known that my time with ds as a baby would of been the last, I would of clung to it and never let go.

 

[babyjan]

Celine, OH feels the same way as me

Button, you are definitely heading towards a positive OPK!

Lpf, welcome and so sorry hun! How long have you been trying now? I too always feel sad thinking of my son as an only child and never getting pregnant again but it will happen

 

[Button#]

So sorry for your losses LPF. I hope your GP can get to the bottom of it for you.

 

[Button#]

Just started getting a pain in my left side. I'm feeling very positive for this cycle.

 

[Munchkin30]

Oh honey I'm so so sorry for your losses it's so so hard. At times I've really felt like I couldn't do this again but I know in my heart I will and if you feel that you could one day I'm sure you will. I feel all your pain about not having a newborn again, not using all the baby stuff etc. I'd already started setting up the baby stuff before I lost Rowan so I have a living breathing empty nursery to make it even worse. At the moment you can only be gentle on yourself and try and get through this as best you can.
After the last loss I was so determined to not wish my dd's life away and I can truly say I'm enjoying her so much more now. I was unhappy and not concentrating fully on her fir over a year and that's not happening again. I am so grateful for her and the joy she brings and I can't ever forget that again. We're a lovely lovely lot so hopefully we can hold your hand and love you through this and if it feels right on the way to your rainbow baby xx

 

[LPF]

Oh honey I'm so so sorry for your losses it's so so hard. At times I've really felt like I couldn't do this again but I know in my heart I will and if you feel that you could one day I'm sure you will. I feel all your pain about not having a newborn again, not using all the baby stuff etc. I'd already started setting up the baby stuff before I lost Rowan so I have a living breathing empty nursery to make it even worse. At the moment you can only be gentle on yourself and try and get through this as best you can.
After the last loss I was so determined to not wish my dd's life away and I can truly say I'm enjoying her so much more now. I was unhappy and not concentrating fully on her fir over a year and that's not happening again. I am so grateful for her and the joy she brings and I can't ever forget that again. We're a lovely lovely lot so hopefully we can hold your hand and love you through this and if it feels right on the way to your rainbow baby xx

That's exactly how I feel I've been with ds - like he's kind of been in the shadows a bit while my mind has been on other things and that's not happening again. Makes me feel a bit sick that I've wasted a year of his life for no good reason.

We've been trying for a year and same pattern. TTC for 2-3 cycles, pregnant, miscarriage, 1 cycle off to recover and repeat. I'm lucky I guess that I've got pregnant 4 times, each at 2-3 cycles of trying but I can't make them stick so it's immaterial.

I'm not getting any younger either. I'll be 35 next birthday and ds will be 4 next birthday and I don't want this dragging on for years iykwim.

Does anyone have any experience of recurrent miscarriage testing?

 

[slg76]

Hi lpf

I'm so sorry about your losses. I feel much the same way you do. Ttc is tough and it does take away from parenting the one you already have. How much time do you give it before you just concentrate on your one child? How important is it to have a sibling? I just don't know.

I was terribly sick when dd was a baby. I feel like I was robbed out of my third trimester and the first year of her life. I feel like I deserve a do-over so I can really experience and cherish the baby stage. Just not sure if it will happen or not. I'm also under time pressure. I am 37 and dh is 41. Plus, I am supposed to be on a medication that you can't take while pregnant. I've been off it now for two years to ttc another baby. I hear the clock ticking as I should really be back on my medication very soon.

I've only had one mc but I felt that there was something wrong right from the beginning. Mother's intuition?

 

[celine]

Hi Lpf so sorry for the crappy year you have had

I had mc in a row, we didnt wait and when i fell preg right away again i asked the mw what the tests would be and in Holland the first tests would be done by my house doctor to check my hormone levels, although she said, i have carried two perfect pregnancies to term so its unlikely that its hormone issues, but after those results would come back the house doc would refer you onward. I have not lost this one so there is hope yet!

And i know what u mean when you said you knew you would mc when you got the bfp...ehen i got my bfp after mc i was fine about it but a week or so later i had this cloud in my heart, like i knew it wouldnt work out. Sometimes we just know. Although the first loss left me breathless it came from nowhere

 

[LPF]

Hi Lpf so sorry for the crappy year you have had

I had mc in a row, we didnt wait and when i fell preg right away again i asked the mw what the tests would be and in Holland the first tests would be done by my house doctor to check my hormone levels, although she said, i have carried two perfect pregnancies to term so its unlikely that its hormone issues, but after those results would come back the house doc would refer you onward. I have not lost this one so there is hope yet!

And i know what u mean when you said you knew you would mc when you got the bfp...ehen i got my bfp after mc i was fine about it but a week or so later i had this cloud in my heart, like i knew it wouldnt work out. Sometimes we just know. Although the first loss left me breathless it came from nowhere

My first MC was horrendous and hit me like a ten ton truck. I was in blissful ignorance and assumed it would all be fine like with ds. I think it was a blighted ovum. But the following 2 MCs after the initial OMG I'm pregnant again for a few a days, I just knew it wouldn't work out (and within a week I'd MC).

I thought it might just be negativity but I think it is mother intuition.

Stupid question but do you thing stress of worrying about MC actually causes it? I was so terrified of it happening again that when it did, it was almost a relief because the worry didn't consume me any more.

 

[LPF]

Hi lpf

I'm so sorry about your losses. I feel much the same way you do. Ttc is tough and it does take away from parenting the one you already have. How much time do you give it before you just concentrate on your one child? How important is it to have a sibling? I just don't know.

I was terribly sick when dd was a baby. I feel like I was robbed out of my third trimester and the first year of her life. I feel like I deserve a do-over so I can really experience and cherish the baby stage. Just not sure if it will happen or not. I'm also under time pressure. I am 37 and dh is 41. Plus, I am supposed to be on a medication that you can't take while pregnant. I've been off it now for two years to ttc another baby. I hear the clock ticking as I should really be back on my medication very soon.

I've only had one mc but I felt that there was something wrong right from the beginning. Mother's intuition?

I'm a little bit the same. My labour and delivery were truly awful and it was the worst experience I've ever had (I felt the emcs as it happened after a 40hr labour and was knocked out under a general, then they couldn't revive me) I have no memories of the first 12 hours of his life and I completely feel like I need a do-over to make peace with it and enjoy that time.

I was quite poorly initially and forced myself to breast feed which I initially hated and ds was a high needs baby so I didn't enjoy him. I wish now I'd held on to the memories and enjoyed it for what it was. Now I feel like his toddler years have been sucked away by TTC no2 and I've blinked and missed it all and he's suddenly a pre schooler that's not that keen on hugging anymore!

Life is crap sometimes!

 

[OmarsMum]

LPF

Can I join?

We were holding on ttc as the idea of getting pregnant & going through labour again freaks me out. In August last year I was kind of ready so I went off the pill but we weren't actively ttc.

I had a chemical in Jan, & mmc 4 weeks back at almost 10 weeks, I had to go for a D&C 2 weeks back & it was the worst experience, it was done at the same hospital where I gave birth to my son, I had to stay overnight, the next day when I was discharged I felt empty, I was leaving the hospital alone without a baby

I'm 35, I eneded up with emcs, DS was born not breathing, I still remember the OR, the noises, the drs rushing into the room, me screaming at the drs , the stress I had when I didnt have milk to bf, leaving the hospital early as I couldnt stay there anymore. We were planning to ttc 1 yr after giving birth, but the whole experience put me off having another one, when we were finally ready we went through all this

I'm too scared to try again, but I dont feel it's fair for my DS to be an only child, his heart was broken when I told him that his "brother" went to the sky, he cried none stop, I dont want him to go through this again, he was too excited about the pregnancy bless him, he told everyine at school that he's going to have a baby brother

I feel so emotional today, yesterday a friend told me she was 12 weeks pregnant with twins but she didnt tell me earlier as she didn't want to hurt my feelings

 

[LPF]

Oh omarsmum, I'm so sorry. Our situations are quite similar and it sucks xx

I'm too scared to stop TTC but I'm too scared to carry on......

 

[Button#]

So sorry for your losses Omarsmum.

 

[babyjan]

Omarsmum, welcome hun and so sorry for your losses

 

[slg76]

Hi Omarsmum.

What terrible situations many of us have had to go through. Having babies should be joyful and of course in the end you should actually have a baby!

For the new gals, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of my third trimester with dd. I was in chemo all the rest of my pregnancy and in some sort of treatment for the first 6 months of her life. It took another year before I was remotely back to being myself. I couldn't breast feed because there were chemo drugs in my breast milk...well my hypothetical breast milk since I never actually made any. I couldn't do much else besides hold her on the couch for a long time and some days I couldn't even do that. The chemotherapy severely damaged my fertility and that is why I'm having trouble having another baby. Of course I'm a little afraid that my cancer will come back when I get pregnant again. The pregnancy doesn't cause the cancer but the rise in estrogen makes it grow very quickly. We think that my cancer is gone but you never can really know for sure.

We don't talk about having a baby in front of Emily and she never knew I was pregnant when I had the mc. I think she picks up on pieces of it though. She has been asking recently if she can have an "older sister". Ummm, no. Last week she told me when I grow another baby she would share her room. She's so sweet.

She told me 15 minutes ago that she wasn't tired. Then she laid down in the middle of the room on the floor and fell asleep in about 4 minutes. She looks so peaceful

 

[slg76]

LPF, no, I don't think that worrying about a mc will cause one. I think you would have to be under so much emotional and/or physical stress that you couldn't live your day to day life to actually cause a mc. Unfortunately most mcs are just a cell division that went wrong before we even know we are pregnant.

 

[Mrs W 11]

Welcome omarsmum, I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

Brown cm spotted last night so af is on the way and clearly my lp will be no longer than last cycle. I'm 8dpo!! I'm going to see the drs I think

 

[celine]

Lpf i agree i dont think the worry would cause it, as much as i felt ok about this third consecutive pregnancy i still check for blood everytime i go to the toilet and i only told the world at 19 weeks and even then i was afraid id jinxed it. I think once u suffer a loss u become so aware of it, you never forget the possibility that it couldhappen to yougain.

Hi omars mum, i remember you from the boards when i had my son xxx