Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[KatO79]

katO: Your email reminds me a LOT of my ex's (abusive) family who used to send him long emails too. And he also used to try to address each point individually, but honestly it won't make a difference how much sense you try to talk. I think it's definitely the best policy just not to engage. Even if your other family members or friends judge you just ignore them. People don't understand until they've been in the same situation: I didn't understand my ex until I got front row seat at one of their altercations.

As for your ivf cycle I think you're just setting your expectations low in case ivf doesn't work but our hopes are all high for you

I know that now but at the time my narcissistic brother was threatning to not come to the wedding if I didn't apologise plus I couldn't stand all the gaslighting and projection that was going on (although I didn't know that's what it is at the time). Plus his nasty comment of DH just drove me over the edge. Now that I know about NPD and the my brother in all likelihood has it, I know that my reaction was wrong. I'm JADEing way too much (Justify, Argue, Defend and Explain). But I was still trying to show him that I'm not this awful, selfish person he constantly accuses me of being : I know now that it's futile and have completely given up ever having any form of relationship with him. Hence why I'm planning on going no contact, he simply won't stop his constant character assasinations of me.

I know though that my enabler cousin will rush to his defense when I do send him a no contact letter. She seems to also pity him because his father wasn't around and he didn't get a lot of stuff as a kid. She sees me as having had it better because my father was there (although not much since he worked a lot; he had his own printing business) and I got so many toys and clothes (but that was because my father made a lot of money and it made the family look good). She's totally ignoring the fact my narcissistic brother lived with us for years and got about $500 a month for "helping out with the housework" but he did practically nothing so it wasn't like he had it rough or anything. I'd argue our mother was/is much more abusive to me since all her sons are "Golden Children" (and daughters are Scapegoats although my older sister grew up with her father and his new wife) but that doesn't seem to be something I'm allowed to say, even though it's true. I think she only sees him with his mask on, where he's nice and very likeable. I've unfortunately seen him without his mask where he becomes a condescending, arrogant and very cruel human being.

His enabler wife is constantly making excuses for him (she is forever telling everyone what a superlative human being my brother is *gag*). This is BTW what she wrote after that altercation over FB at the start of January this year concerning my "Don't tell infertiles to just relax" post where my brother was ignoring everything I had to say and then when I tried to politely disengage, insulted me by calling me childish in a very arrogant and condescending manner:

Just an FYI....I am not too happy about having my and [your brother]'s fertility journey posted in the Facebook stream that now many people have seen. [Your brother] and I considered this a private matter between us, especially while we were going through it. So, please, no more reference to our "journey" to conceive.

You know [your brother] isn't the most sensitive with his words, and is very into "debate". He IS concerned and feels badly that you are going through this...please believe that. I could be dying with a ruptured appendix and he just tells me to go take 2 Advil and forget about it! (that is true!!) He cares about you, but always takes the non-emotional, very pragmatic road. Not the most warm and fuzzy with his words. Nonetheless, I wish you all the luck in the world, [DH] and [KatO79]. Thinking about you. TRY CLOMID!!!

Ugghh! You're right about people not understanding, many don't. DH was even preaching trying to make my relationships with my narcissistic famiy work and give them chances (although he wasn't blaming me at all). But he comes from a nice, normal family where even the couple of semi-jerks can behave in a somewhat polite manner. Once he read all the nasty emails and FB messages my brother has written and heard first hand how evil my mother can be (including her gaslighting me a number of times), he stopped feeling that way and gets it pretty well now (although his naive parents remain kinda clueless although I think my FIL is starting to wake up).

As to my IVF cycle you're correct I don't want to set myself up for a BFP if it's a BFN, I think I'd just get more upset in that case

 

[Angel5000]

Morning ladies. I'm finaly starting to feel better, but still have some inflammation in the lungs. CD8 here, so if my LP is back to normal without any of the extra meds this cycle then I should expect AF tomorrow or the day after. Excited to be onto the next cycle and trying again.

I'm off work todya - big storm knocked out power and downed a lot of trees so the school buses can't access our more rural parts of the district so we closed for the day. Probably will be back tomorrow, it seems like the storm is finally passed, thank goodness. WE had a ton of rain. My backyard looks like a swimming pool!

Oh gosh that is awful, both of you sick. Rotten luck. Focus on getting healthy! That's great that you Od sooner. Can I ask if you did anything in particular? My O is sooo late. CD19/20 and my cycle is only about 26 days. Hoping the tribulus will help me O sooner so my Lp is longer. Thanks for the tip on the OPKs! Definitely doing that this cycle. I feel like a loony poas several times a day but I really want to get an avcurate picture of my fertile days. Temp went up higher than before AF today so I'd say it's confirmed!

This cycle I didn't do anyhting which is why I was so surprised it was early. My usual O day is CD26, however for 4 months I was taking Vitex and it bumped my O up to CD16. For the LP I used b6 and it lengthened my LP by 3 days. I was taking 100mg of B6 every day in the cycle. Some women say it delays their O, but I didn't experience that for me. I was taking it with Vitex and a regular B Multivitamin and my LP went from 9 to 11 days.

 

[Xokittycatxo]

Katjust wanted to say good luck and I've still got my fingers and toes all crossed for you! Keep us posted and stay strong no matter what. Here for you!

Angel glad to hear you are feeling better. I've been reading about the B6 and I take it in the form of nutritional yeast. I just started taking it again actually so hopefully it works. If I get AF on Sunday that will make my LP only 7 days yikes. I already take vitex and I have for years but I just read I should be taking it on an empty stomach to absorb all of it so I'm going to try that.

AFM...started acupuncture again. right after my last treatment all evening I had very mild cramping. More like uterus toning I got when first started drinking red raspberry leaf tea. I had it Up until this morning so it definitely did something!
I'm going to wait and see when I start AF...if it's on time this cycle I'm trying tribulus, if not I'm going to keep on with the inositol as I feel it's working.

 

[Angel5000]

Katjust wanted to say good luck and I've still got my fingers and toes all crossed for you! Keep us posted and stay strong no matter what. Here for you!

Angel glad to hear you are feeling better. I've been reading about the B6 and I take it in the form of nutritional yeast. I just started taking it again actually so hopefully it works. If I get AF on Sunday that will make my LP only 7 days yikes. I already take vitex and I have for years but I just read I should be taking it on an empty stomach to absorb all of it so I'm going to try that.

AFM...started acupuncture again. right after my last treatment all evening I had very mild cramping. More like uterus toning I got when first started drinking red raspberry leaf tea. I had it Up until this morning so it definitely did something!
I'm going to wait and see when I start AF...if it's on time this cycle I'm trying tribulus, if not I'm going to keep on with the inositol as I feel it's working.

I didn't know you get could get b6 from nutritional yeast. That's interesting. What brand of Vitex do you take? I've heard different brands are more affective than others. I know that when I used Solaray it did not do much for me ,but Gaia made a huge difference. I have heard the empty stomach is better. Hopefully the acupuncture works! I've heard that acupuncture can be beneficial for TTC. Never knew anyone who actually tried it though. I wonder if my insurance would cover accupuncture. . .

 

[KatO79]

So it's bad news guys - my HCG is around 34 and she says it's definitely a chemical but wants me to come in on Monday for another HCG test, so devastated right now

 

[Xokittycatxo]

Kat my heart is broken for you :'( I cant imagine how you feel but let's not forget you are not out of the game yet!!! This was only first try.... Just a warmup. Now you can take a little breather and try again in January....it will be here before you know it.

Sending lots and lots of hugs!

 

[KatO79]

Kat my heart is broken for you :'( Ivcant imagine how you feel but let's not forget you are not out of the game yet!!! This was only first try.... Just a warmup. Now you can take a little breather and try again in January....it will be here before you know it.

Sending lots and lots of hugs!

Thanks kitty I'm just so upset right now. I'm sure by January when I'll be starting IVF #2, I'll be fine. But right now I'm crying my eyes out I would have far prefered it being a BFN although I think the nurse thought me strange for saying so but she didn't really comment it Sorta ruins the Christmas holiday more it's a chemical

 

[Angel5000]

So it's bad news guys - my HCG is around 34 and she says it's definitely a chemical but wants me to come in on Monday for another HCG test, so devastated right now

I'm so sorry Kat. My heart is breaking right now. I've had 2 CPs, they are devastating.

I completely understand what you are saying, I have said before that I would much rather a BFN than a CP. At least with the BFN there isn't that feeling like "I almost had it". On the other hand, what DH told me with my first CP is "at least you know that it can happen, now we just have to make it stick". I don't know if that is any consolation to you, but it did help me a little.

Just remember it's completely okay to cry and to be angry and frustrated and sad and all those things. And when it's all said and over, have a glass of wine or two (if you drink) and let yourself mourn, and then try again next month. we are all here for you.

 

[KatO79]

So it's bad news guys - my HCG is around 34 and she says it's definitely a chemical but wants me to come in on Monday for another HCG test, so devastated right now

I'm so sorry Kat. My heart is breaking right now. I've had 2 CPs, they are devastating.

I completely understand what you are saying, I have said before that I would much rather a BFN than a CP. At least with the BFN there isn't that feeling like "I almost had it". On the other hand, what DH told me with my first CP is "at least you know that it can happen, now we just have to make it stick". I don't know if that is any consolation to you, but it did help me a little.

Just remember it's completely okay to cry and to be angry and frustrated and sad and all those things. And when it's all said and over, have a glass of wine or two (if you drink) and let yourself mourn, and then try again next month. we are all here for you.

Thanks Angel That's exactly it, a BFN is just that it didn't work at all and easier to shrug off (I'm after all "used to" them after having TTCed for a little over 2 years), a CP is that you were so close only to have it snatched away. I don't think the nurse understood but perhaps, despite working at the Fertility Clinic in the hospital, she doesn't get it and hasn't had a CP herself What you're saying is true though, I know that, I'm just sad that it happened now, especially right before Christmas which somehow is making it a bit worse I think plus that it happened after an IVF, having gone through all the pain and whatnot for "nothing." I'm also almost 100% sure I had a CP last year in April after our 7th natural cycle but started bleeding the day before I was planning to test. So having potentially had 2 CPs worries me a bit.

I hated giving DH the call though, I could hear the disappointment and sadness in his voice (I think he'd almost also have preferred a BFN) I yet again told him he should find some super fertile 25 year old instead but he told me he doesn't want to I'm sure it'll also disappoint my in-laws, I think they were almost 100% sure it'd work since they don't completely get infertility, especially unexplained infertility.

Oh I'm good at getting all my feelings out, I don't believe in letting sad/mad feelings fester, don't think it's healthy. As to having a glass of wine I think I'll wait until I start bleeding, illogical I guess but that's what I'll do

We'll be doing IVF #2 in January 2016, that's for certain Can't this month both because of the Christmas holiday but also they always make you sit 1 cycle out in between regardless if you got a BFN or a CP.

Thanks again Angel

 

[psychochick]

KatO: I woke up in my time zone and literally checked this thread first thing for your updates and was so sorry to read about the bad news. I guess small consolation is that you knew your exact hcg levels so you didn't see a line and celebrate and then find out it's a chemical? hope your holidays go without a glitch and will start a new year with ivf #2 and BFP!

Angel: glad to hear you're better! DH and I are actually visiting seattle during christmas lol. We do expect a lot of rain there. It's kind of rainy here in California too but not much. Expect more jan-march next year.

kittycat: I drink raspberry leaf tea too from AF until O, although I stop after O because I read to stop drinking it after O or something. I don't really know, but I like it too. I used to spot brown right before AF, that completely stopped after drinking RRL tea I think because it helps get rid of all the blood during AF. Completely clean uterus, no old blood leftover

 

[Angel5000]

psychochick - Enjoy Seattle!! It's been EXCEPTIONALLY rainy this year, we are dealing with a lot of flood issues right now but hoping that will clear up in the next week or so.

I had not heard about raspberry leaf tea stopping spotting but that's great. I have a lot of raspberry leaf tea, I just need to make a point of drinking it more often.

 

[KatO79]

KatO: I woke up in my time zone and literally checked this thread first thing for your updates and was so sorry to read about the bad news. I guess small consolation is that you knew your exact hcg levels so you didn't see a line and celebrate and then find out it's a chemical? hope your holidays go without a glitch and will start a new year with ivf #2 and BFP!

Thanks psychochick Yeah I'm glad I didn't use an HPT before going in. But I was still crushed at the news and cried pretty much the rest of the day. Emotionally and psychologically I would've prefered a BFN. But apparently I've read and heard that a CP bodes well for me ending up pregnant with a healthy baby via IVF so hoping it's true. Maybe that's why the nurse thought me weird for saying so? Now that I won't be using Crinone Gel anymore (yesterday's was the last portion anyway), I'm assuming it's only a matter of time before "AF" starts Not looking forward to it though and just want it to be over and done with. But it does kinda dampen Christmas for DH and I, especially when we'll be seeing his big brother's kids on the 26th (his brother's divorced and this year the kids will be spending Christmas, the 24th here, with their narcissistic mother). The good thing is we'll be spending New Year's at his little brother's place and there won't be any children coming. Last year we were at one of DH's friend's girlfriend's place and she has 2 kids (I think one is around 10 and the other 15-16) from a previous marriage plus is totally impossible and refuses to understand infertility (since she never had issues conceiving). She kept telling me that the reason I wasn't getting pregnant must be due to no Oing because that's what was the problem with 2 of her friends. I kept telling her that all the testing I had pointed to me Oing regularly but she refused to budge. I was getting more and more upset so managed to change the topic but geez

BTW DH told his parents last night since they knew I was getting tested that day and they had no idea what a CP was so had to look it up. I guess they didn't know CPs existed and could happen, naive as they are on infertility He said they of course were sad about the CP but hopeful we'd get our sticky healthy BFP when we start again in January. My narcissistic mother also knows and I'm sure she's thrilled about it but she's good at giving a convincing performance so acted sad about it. My siblings and cousin know nothing so of course won't be telling them (none of them have ever bothered to ask; my cousin didn't even ask last time she wrote to me and just harped on about how mean my mother was to her DH). I'm sure my siblings would delight in it anyway amongst themselves. I wrote an SMS to DH's little brother with the news but he never responded I don't know if it's because he doesn't understand it and therefore doesn't know how to respond or what. Maybe I should've sent the SMS to his live-in girlfriend instead.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - I've found a lot of people are incredibly naive to infertility and to the whole process of getting pregnant in the first place. My mom and sister had no idea what a CP was and I had to explain it, they didn't even realize it could happen. Most of my friends, as well intentioned as they are, keep telling me that I just need to have more sex and I would be getting pregnant. They don't understand most of the process. And one of my friends basically told me that my pregnancy tests must be faulty from the CP because there's "no way" I could get a + on the Wondfo's and then not get one on the store tests (implying they are all of the same sensitivity when we know they are not) and then insisting there's no way it would go from a + to having my period and a - in a few days. She just couldn't fathom that it could happen. Which is odd because I know she's had a MC before (later though, at like 12 weeks). Still, most people just have no clue.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - I've found a lot of people are incredibly naive to infertility and to the whole process of getting pregnant in the first place. My mom and sister had no idea what a CP was and I had to explain it, they didn't even realize it could happen. Most of my friends, as well intentioned as they are, keep telling me that I just need to have more sex and I would be getting pregnant. They don't understand most of the process. And one of my friends basically told me that my pregnancy tests must be faulty from the CP because there's "no way" I could get a + on the Wondfo's and then not get one on the store tests (implying they are all of the same sensitivity when we know they are not) and then insisting there's no way it would go from a + to having my period and a - in a few days. She just couldn't fathom that it could happen. Which is odd because I know she's had a MC before (later though, at like 12 weeks). Still, most people just have no clue.

So true Angel I've experienced many of the same things you have with people when it comes to infertility and CPs. I've never gotten the "have more sex" one but I've gotten the "just relax and it'll happen" one more times than I care to think about It's just so crazy what fertiles come up with I think if I got the "have more sex" I'd be tempted to go all sarcastic and tell them "Wow, having sex can make you pregnant? Why didn't I think of that?" Give them a stupid answer to a stupid suggestion Or get a bit "TMI" with them e.g. if they have kids ask them what sex position worked for them because you've tried so many now and would like suggestions As said, my MIL didn't know about CPs and I talked to my hairdresser today and she didn't know about them either so had to explain it (although she's being pretty sensitive and trying to understand things so that's always a plus).

Your friend takes the cake though on her understanding of HPTs and CPs. Maybe try sending her some links about CPs? She's probably under the impression that nothing can go wrong so early on. Here's a couple of the ones I've been looking at recently (although the last one is more geared to CPs after IVF):

https://www.drmalpani.com/articles/chemicalpregnancy

https://www.montereybayivf.com/understanding-infertility/chemical-pregnancy/

Maybe they should teach people about these things in school so people are at least not totally clueless and us struggling with infertility have a bigger chance of avoiding hearing BS like that

 

[ireadyermind]

Kat -- Aww, sorry to hear about the CP. I have to say I think those are pretty bad. You barely have time to get your hopes up before they're let down again. But I hope this means you have excellent odds for conception and you get a sticky BFP soon.


DH and I have dealt with plenty of folks who know nothing about TTC and the various ways the body can miscarry. It gets frustrating hearing the "relax and it'll happen!" bits, in addition to the people who tell us we should "hurry up and get pregnant" because "you aren't getting any younger!"

Yes, let me just run into the back and flip the "pregnant" switch! lol


AFM -- Just got back from having an HSG test. The one where they inject dye into your uterus and XRay it to check for scarring, blocked tubes, etc. I was almost certain they'd find something terribly wrong -- but everything's normal in there.

Which just confirms in my mind what I knew was wrong all along: hormones. I have next to no period every month (lasts only 2 days, and barely 30ml of fluid), and a host of other hormone problem symptoms, like horrendous acne since puberty. It's never gone away. I haven't had a single day of clear skin for more than 15 years.

And we all know how just having one tiny little thing thrown off in your body can cause BIG problems. So I'm waiting to hear from my doctor about today's results after he's gone over them himself. I foresee many more trips to the lab for blood draws in my future!

 

[Xokittycatxo]

IreadI had horrible hormonal problems especially after coming off depo. I didn't get a period for years then I finally got it and it would last 10 days or longer than sporting here and there, migraines, bloating, horrible cramps then...poof! It would Dissapear again. My obgyn really wasn't much help just gave me either Premarin or something else depending on if I needed to stop or start bleeding. I finally saw a holistic health practitioner and she got me started on supplements and I finally started getting it sorted out. I researched myself more and more and found several herbs like vitex, Maca and red raspberry leaf tea that had me from a complete mess to almost picture perfect cycles. I also used acupuncture.
Blood work is great for finding the hormonal imbalance but it could be worth some looking Into if you don't want to be on meds!
Either way I do hope you find the source of the hormonal imbalance and get it corrected. I've been there and I know how frustrating it is!

 

[KatO79]

Kat -- Aww, sorry to hear about the CP. I have to say I think those are pretty bad. You barely have time to get your hopes up before they're let down again. But I hope this means you have excellent odds for conception and you get a sticky BFP soon.


DH and I have dealt with plenty of folks who know nothing about TTC and the various ways the body can miscarry. It gets frustrating hearing the "relax and it'll happen!" bits, in addition to the people who tell us we should "hurry up and get pregnant" because "you aren't getting any younger!"

Yes, let me just run into the back and flip the "pregnant" switch! lol


AFM -- Just got back from having an HSG test. The one where they inject dye into your uterus and XRay it to check for scarring, blocked tubes, etc. I was almost certain they'd find something terribly wrong -- but everything's normal in there.

Which just confirms in my mind what I knew was wrong all along: hormones. I have next to no period every month (lasts only 2 days, and barely 30ml of fluid), and a host of other hormone problem symptoms, like horrendous acne since puberty. It's never gone away. I haven't had a single day of clear skin for more than 15 years.

And we all know how just having one tiny little thing thrown off in your body can cause BIG problems. So I'm waiting to hear from my doctor about today's results after he's gone over them himself. I foresee many more trips to the lab for blood draws in my future!

Thanks ireadyermind Yeah I'm hoping to catch my rainbow on my 2nd IVF. I've read a CP is actually better than getting a BFN as it shows you can get pregnant and your chances are therefore better than someone that gets a BFN on their 1st IVF. Here's hoping that proves to be the case for me as I'm turning 37 in May and always said don't want to be 40 or over My narcissistic mother was 42 and my enabler father was 53 when I was born so I know how much it stinks to have older parents. My father also died when I was 20. Luckily I didn't test before the blood test which I'm thankful for now. I think I would've been extra upset to finally see a BFP only to be told a day or 2 later that it's a CP

To be honest I find people that say things like that pretty rude because really, why does it concern them? It's none of their business! Especially when it's aquaintances and of course people you've just met. Because what if you didn't want kids? Some people don't and I don't see why society wants to pressure them into having kids. Worse is of course they risk being hurtful to infertiles. I've "luckily" only heard the "just relax" one although I've heard it numerous times Although at that Christmas luncheon one DH's friends that has 2 kids made a remark about if we weren't going to soon start having kids and then talked about something else. I'm actually friends with her over FB (although we don't communicate) so if she followed me she'd know we are having issues

Glad to hear your HSG went well and you got good results, it's always good to know that there's one less thing to worry about might be the problem. I know I felt relieved last year when they told me the same thing. But sorry it may be your hormones. Haven't they referred you to get CD3 and evt. CD21 blood tests? If they do find something with your hormones, I hope it's an easy fix

AFM started bleeding today Knew it was coming yet it still makes me sad The worst thing is DH and I need to go out today to start buying Christmas gifts for his family since there are so many. The only good news is DH has been approved for a loan so we can buy a house. Think we'll also be looking at one of the houses we've seen as DH and I can agree on it and it's a nice house.

 

[ireadyermind]

IreadI had horrible hormonal problems especially after coming off depo. I didn't get a period for years then I finally got it and it would last 10 days or longer than sporting here and there, migraines, bloating, horrible cramps then...poof! It would Dissapear again. My obgyn really wasn't much help just gave me either Premarin or something else depending on if I needed to stop or start bleeding. I finally saw a holistic health practitioner and she got me started on supplements and I finally started getting it sorted out. I researched myself more and more and found several herbs like vitex, Maca and red raspberry leaf tea that had me from a complete mess to almost picture perfect cycles. I also used acupuncture.
Blood work is great for finding the hormonal imbalance but it could be worth some looking Into if you don't want to be on meds!
Either way I do hope you find the source of the hormonal imbalance and get it corrected. I've been there and I know how frustrating it is!

Right out of high school I had the same problems. 10+ day periods, spotting all the time, crazy mood swings, cycles that were 45+ days long... One time I had a 40 day period and my GYN at the time said, "Eh, that happens once in a while." I took birth control to get my cycles evened out and even after that, the acne and other problems didn't go away. Eventually my AF was shortened from 10 days to 5 days, though, so that was an improvement. It was nice not to spend 1/3 of my month bleeding. And it was HEAVY bleeding.

Strangely, when I stopped BC, my cycles got even shorter. It coincided exactly with my cervical conization, however, so I'm certain that the surgery had something to do with it. I have heard of anesthesia doing strange things to people, and of course it can't help that I had part of my cervix removed.

My GYN doesn't seem concerned at all and only tested me for testosterone and blood sugar levels, which came back normal. So I guess we'll see what the fertility clinic wants me to do next!

I have been taking Vitex this month, but it makes me really nauseated and I lose my appetite even at 1/3 the recommended dose. I've decided to start taking it at bedtime instead of first thing in the morning, so that I can sleep through the worst of the unsettled stomach. The only other month I took Vitex was actually the month I conceived, so I'm hoping it'll do the same for me this month.

In fact, what I'm thinking is that having that dye forced through my tubes might possibly open them up a bit more? Maybe they were narrow, or maybe there was a slight bit of debris or something in them that made it more difficult for eggs and/or sperm to travel? So I was thinking... maybe the HSG will have cleared everything out, and maybe the Vitex will help me support an implanted egg. Fingers crossed!

I've also tried maca root and it gave me massive migraines no matter when I took them, or with what, or at what dosage. So unfortunately I had to stop taking those, 'cause it caused too much discomfort.

To be honest I find people that say things like that pretty rude because really, why does it concern them? It's none of their business! Especially when it's aquaintances and of course people you've just met. Because what if you didn't want kids? Some people don't and I don't see why society wants to pressure them into having kids. Worse is of course they risk being hurtful to infertiles. I've "luckily" only heard the "just relax" one although I've heard it numerous times Although at that Christmas luncheon one DH's friends that has 2 kids made a remark about if we weren't going to soon start having kids and then talked about something else. I'm actually friends with her over FB (although we don't communicate) so if she followed me she'd know we are having issues

Glad to hear your HSG went well and you got good results, it's always good to know that there's one less thing to worry about might be the problem. I know I felt relieved last year when they told me the same thing. But sorry it may be your hormones. Haven't they referred you to get CD3 and evt. CD21 blood tests? If they do find something with your hormones, I hope it's an easy fix

Exactly, whether or not DH and I have kids isn't anyone else's business. And we already got asked "when are you gonna have kids?" about half a dozen times on a single weekend with the in-laws. It drives me nuts! The default reply that we give everyone is "Eventually." But then when I hear DH across the room say, "Eventually," and he's been cornered by one of the female relatives, I know what they've asked. It gets a little frustrating.

I haven't done any testing for hormones yet, no. I think that's a little backwards for this fertility clinic. Why wouldn't they check those things FIRST, you know? Especially given all the symptoms and problems I've complained about in my questionnaire? But it doesn't look like they tailor their procedure to the individual person at all, and that's crap. If I'm paying for all of this out of pocket, I expect them to take a look and see what actually NEEDS testing, not to just have me run the gamut. Sigh.

 

[Angel5000]

evening ladies! AF showed today so I'm in a new cycle. Looking forward to it, hoping neither DH nor I are sick this time around!

I'm so glad that I have a place like this where we can talk about the frustrations of the rest of the world, speciifically about their stupidity regarding infertility. You all are awesome.

Today we've been working on the inherited house (aka: The Crack House). I've managed to hurt myself a few times this time around, as usual. Got my finger pinched between some boards while pulling down the wall (which hurts more than you'd think), dropped a brick on my feet, put my hand on nails a few times, blisters on my hands from ripping down walls, but most painful: stepped on a nail and it went pretty far into my foot. Definitely in pain from that one.

We made good progress though. We finished the Master bedroom, and so all that is left for the major aspects are the main bathroom and kitchen but those are big jobs. Today we were tearing out the walls in the kitchen but the walls aren't sheet rock, they are lap board (the house was built in the 20s) so it took ALL DAY to tear down the walls. On the positive side, my husband replaced the bathroom floor today and got the shower in (not fully installed but at least into the bathroom) so that is a plus

 

[KatO79]

To be honest I find people that say things like that pretty rude because really, why does it concern them? It's none of their business! Especially when it's aquaintances and of course people you've just met. Because what if you didn't want kids? Some people don't and I don't see why society wants to pressure them into having kids. Worse is of course they risk being hurtful to infertiles. I've "luckily" only heard the "just relax" one although I've heard it numerous times Although at that Christmas luncheon one DH's friends that has 2 kids made a remark about if we weren't going to soon start having kids and then talked about something else. I'm actually friends with her over FB (although we don't communicate) so if she followed me she'd know we are having issues

Glad to hear your HSG went well and you got good results, it's always good to know that there's one less thing to worry about might be the problem. I know I felt relieved last year when they told me the same thing. But sorry it may be your hormones. Haven't they referred you to get CD3 and evt. CD21 blood tests? If they do find something with your hormones, I hope it's an easy fix

Exactly, whether or not DH and I have kids isn't anyone else's business. And we already got asked "when are you gonna have kids?" about half a dozen times on a single weekend with the in-laws. It drives me nuts! The default reply that we give everyone is "Eventually." But then when I hear DH across the room say, "Eventually," and he's been cornered by one of the female relatives, I know what they've asked. It gets a little frustrating.

I haven't done any testing for hormones yet, no. I think that's a little backwards for this fertility clinic. Why wouldn't they check those things FIRST, you know? Especially given all the symptoms and problems I've complained about in my questionnaire? But it doesn't look like they tailor their procedure to the individual person at all, and that's crap. If I'm paying for all of this out of pocket, I expect them to take a look and see what actually NEEDS testing, not to just have me run the gamut. Sigh.

Hmm maybe you could try some of the suggestions from this article: https://infertility.about.com/od/copingwithinfertility/f/askingwhenkids.htm

There are also some pretty good "shut down" answers in this article: https://www.rmanj.com/2014/11/30-best-responses-going-kids/

As for the clinic maybe push for getting those blood tests done ASAP? Sorry that they're not giving you individual treatment when they're talking to you about your case and getting tests done I hope they at least have good success rates.

AFM started spotting yesterday and it's turned into red bleeding today Hoping this "AF" is soon over and done with so I can move on emotionally and mentally. Had my booby prize yesterday of a "big" serving of honey snaps (only filled up 1 very small glass), an apple cocktail and some beer at lunch since we were eating out while Christmas gift shopping. Sent an SMS to that childish friend yesterday (since I don't want to deal with any stupid questions she may have over the phone) and she hasn't answered me yet almost 24 hours later although she seemed to have the time to like a very recent post I made on FB We're seeing her and her boyfriend for a movie night Saturday (going in to see the new "Star Wars") and I wanted to avoid her asking in a happy, excited voice "Are you pregnant, Kat?" but now she may still ask if she doesn't answer that SMS and say she didn't see it Ugghh she's totally distant when she has a boyfriend, especially with this one Can't wait to move so I can get away from her and hopefully make new friends where we move to.

We're going to take a 2nd look at a house today since we're considering buying it. It's rather pretty and has a large dining area which will be good for family birthdays (will have more room to invite more from DH's family) and hopefully a future child's birthday parties.