**April Bunnies 2015**

[Beanonorder]

I went to see the doctor today to get my blood test results. All clear and baby low risk. I wasn't expecting a scan but I got another one. Saw and heard the heartbeat, 153. Still measuring 5 days ahead and the technician estimated that the baby weighs 99g.

Dh and I had a fight before I left and an even bigger one when I got back. He told me he resents me for getting pregnant again. It was just all so ugly and I just keep crying. Added to that I've also found out that my school refused to pay the last two foreign women for their maternity leave. According to the law they have to but its really hard to push these things over here. I haven't told them I'm pregnant yet but I'm already stressing about it. I can't afford to go three months with no salary but if I can't get them to come round then my only other option is to go back to work early.
Sorry for my pity party, especially when I know others are going through worse....

 

[xkirstyx]

Anyone who had bleeding still have bleeding? Stressing me out so much I still have a small bleed once a week

 

[GreyGirl]

So sorry beankeeper That's awful, I hope your recovery time is quick.

I went to see the doctor today to get my blood test results. All clear and baby low risk. I wasn't expecting a scan but I got another one. Saw and heard the heartbeat, 153. Still measuring 5 days ahead and the technician estimated that the baby weighs 99g.

Dh and I had a fight before I left and an even bigger one when I got back. He told me he resents me for getting pregnant again. It was just all so ugly and I just keep crying. Added to that I've also found out that my school refused to pay the last two foreign women for their maternity leave. According to the law they have to but its really hard to push these things over here. I haven't told them I'm pregnant yet but I'm already stressing about it. I can't afford to go three months with no salary but if I can't get them to come round then my only other option is to go back to work early.
Sorry for my pity party, especially when I know others are going through worse....

That's awful, both about the fight and the non-payment stress. Doesn't sound like a nice place to live. Will you get anything? Or don't they pay at all?


AFM: I announced yesterday on Facebook at 13+3...finally brave enough to do it and great response...then about half an hour later I saw my cousin's wife post saying she was going to announce her pregnancy that day, but she found out at the weekend they'd miscarried I am glad I posted first so don't seem insensitive, but still feel awful and especially for them, they're such a lovely family

 

[stripeycat5]

I went to see the doctor today to get my blood test results. All clear and baby low risk. I wasn't expecting a scan but I got another one. Saw and heard the heartbeat, 153. Still measuring 5 days ahead and the technician estimated that the baby weighs 99g.

Dh and I had a fight before I left and an even bigger one when I got back. He told me he resents me for getting pregnant again. It was just all so ugly and I just keep crying. Added to that I've also found out that my school refused to pay the last two foreign women for their maternity leave. According to the law they have to but its really hard to push these things over here. I haven't told them I'm pregnant yet but I'm already stressing about it. I can't afford to go three months with no salary but if I can't get them to come round then my only other option is to go back to work early.
Sorry for my pity party, especially when I know others are going through worse....

I am sorry that all sound horrid for you. Surely if they are obliged by law to pay maternity pay then they are seriously breaking the law by not doing it?? That is also pretty crappy of oh to say that after the scan! I hope you sort it out with him as now is the time you need him the most.

Good luck to peeps having their scans today I felt so much better after having the scan on Monday it is wonderful to see the baby again 😊. This is my reveal picture below - we announced at 10+2 as we had had the scan and everything was fine. Felt a bit uneasy doing it so early but thought that logically if scan shows everything ok then sod it we will announce it. We live in a really rural area so everyone know everyone anyway! Nothing can be kept a secret round here lol 😜



I am sitting on my sofa watching TV as ds sleeps, chicken chasseur is in the oven and the fire is roaring love days off ☺️

 

[RebeccaR19]

Beanonorder- That is rough! I sure hope things start working out for you. Are you in China temporarily or are you all there for a long time? I'm just curious. If you can't tell me or something like that, I understand.

GreyGirl- I am so glad your announcement went well. I am sorry to hear about your cousin's wife. That has to be tough for them. I understand what you mean about announcing first, though. And I'm glad you had a good response.

Stripeycat- Love the picture! That's just adorable! I like how you and your husband put your birth years on their too. That is cute and funny. I know what you mean about news spreading in a rural area. All of my in-laws live in the same rural area. So once one of them knows, everyone in their town and on my husband's side of the family knows.

I am FINALLY 14 weeks! Baby must know this has been a moment for great celebration, because he/she did a flip last night right after midnight and I felt it. It was so cool because it was the first real movement I have felt aside from subtle things. It was so strong that I thought if I'd had my hand on my stomach, I may have been able to feel something on the outside.

Good luck to everyone with their scans today! I can't wait to see those beautiful babies.

 

[counting]

Beankeeper, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling and I am keeping you in my thoughts.

Kristy- I am still bleeding. It had stopped and I was told the SCH was gone, but last Thursday I passed a few small clots and had bleeding, and yesterday I bled as well. Baby is still doing good, but it is extremely stressful.

 

[Dini]

Beanonorder I am so sorry for the fight you had. That was not nice of him to say at this time. I hope they pay for at
least some of your maternity leave that's just terrible. I will likely have to go back early as my work pays for 6wks @ 60% and the rest you have to cover with your vacation pay and I won't have nearly enough saved up by then.

Grey I'm sorry to hear about your family member. That's so sad. I understand you feelings.

Stripey that reveal is adorable!

Rebecca, happy 14 weeks!!

Afm, I had another nightmare about baby last night, after it was born, DH was trying to take it away from me. It was very hard to go back to sleep after that. These dreams are driving me nuts! Also my lower back is really achy right now, I have got to get a new mattress!! I can't seem to find the motivation to do much this morning. Got the dishwasher unloaded and reloaded and now I feel like I'm done for the day lol. Maybe nap time already haha.

 

[Beankeeper]

I'm going to unsubscribe from this thread soon.
Please don't take this the wrong way as I don't want to alarm anyone or cause undue concern, but if you are still bleeding & they haven't seen an obvious cause, such as a SCH, it may be worth getting them to check your cervix to ensure it is closed & your plug is in place. I wish I had have done this last week as maybe I wouldn't be in the position I'm in right now.

Like I say, I don't want to alarm anyone, and if there's a cause already identified then hopefully there is little or no chance of this. I just wanted to mention it because I'd hate for any of you to go through what I've been through.

All the best to you all.

 

[Scottish]

beankeeper xxx

 

[Kalabear]

so sorry beankeeper

 

[maggz]

Oh no beankeeper I'm so truly sorry for your loss. xxx

 

[TaraCathryn]

Beankeeper thank you... We don't want to be paranoid but it's worth being wary. It means a lot for you to look out for other women. I hope you find comfort.

Beanonorder, I am so sorry you're having such a rough time! I honestly wish I could reach through this screen and smack your "D"H who is not being very dear at all. It sounds like he needs to talk to a counselor about these feelings instead of throwing them at you.

Counting, it's hard to say bc I was a lot heavier w/ DD, but I am showing as much now as at ~18 weeks with her.

Had my scan! Everything looks great! Tech was absolutely lovely and said she'll deny to the death that she guessed, but her guess is that it's a boy. DH has named him Zeus.

 

[maggz]

beanonorder glad your scan went well. Can't believe DH said that to you, why does he resent you? Was it unplanned, not a welcome surprise? Sorry you're going through this

So I'm wondering ladies... How do your DH's manage conflict? I think I'm realizing a pattern - let's say I make a comment or get upset because he said something I feel is hurtful or offensive. I voice my opinion, and then he gets upset and says he has to "jump through hoops" for me, and that he can't always behave exactly like I expect. Now, from where I stand, the thing is not that he always has to say or do the RIGHT thing, but at least something. For example, I hate when I'm talking to him and he doesn't dignify me with a reply. I've noticed I say "you know what I mean?" after just about every sentence, just so I'm sure to get a reply from him.
So basically - should I lower my expectations and try to not be hurt when he says stuff because if I do, I'm putting unrealistic expectations on him? Am I really making him "jump through hoops" (seriously I've come to hate this saying)? Can he be more considerate without becoming upset too? Is he not taking criticism well?
Ahh sorry for the rant please do share what your SO's do!

(Of course he doesn't always act like this, it's more if he's stressed or if there's really something else he is pissed about and this is the last straw...)

 

[maggz]

Awesome Tara! Scan pic looks scarily much like a child! Haha... it's getting so real!

 

[RebeccaR19]

Maggz- I feel like I can definitely relate to you. That is a lot like my husband and I are. I feel good communication is key to a good marriage. So, I'm big on communicating. My husband is big on communicating as well. It's just that his processing of it is so different from mine, and I have had to make efforts to try to understand his thinking some more.
I feel just like you. If my husband says something that upsets me, I don't need him to say the "right" thing. I just want him to say something. But see he feels kind of hopeless sometimes with it, and he feels like he will say something with no bad intentions and feel incapable of saying the right thing to me. Now, in my mind, it's not all that difficult. lol I mean, like when we got into an argument with his comment about my shirt, my thinking was, You don't have to say you like it. Just don't say you don't like it. His thinking was that he was completely confused because I often ask him to tell me the truth about something. Of course my thought is..yeah, but only if I ask you! lol So, it's not easy either way. I've noticed he has made no comments at all about my clothing, and I'm cool with that. I'll just take it. He obviously learned something.
I don't think guys communicate the same way. I have the same thing where I want him to verbally acknowledge what I am saying or I don't think he is listening to me. He does not feel the need to verbally express understanding every time I say something. And thinks just sitting there is enough. I mean, I personally don't think it's jumping through hoops. But for a guy who feels like it goes against who he is naturally, he might feel a bit lost about it all.

 

[RebeccaR19]

Thanks for sharing that ultrasound Tara! How exciting to see your baby in 3D! That is the coolest. It will be neat if the tech was correct about gender.

 

[Dini]

Maggz, I kinda know how you feel but DH isn't quite that bad. Sometimes he acts annoyed and irritated when I'm trying to talk to him and then of course I get upset and he ends up getting mad. He does it a lot less now and is usually more considerate than he used to be. Our partners are supposed to be supportive at this time but I'm sure they are scared as well but are much to macho to say so. I wish I had some good advice for you!!

 

[Dini]

Tara I love your ultrasound!! How cute!! I love it even more since we have the same due date!! How cool if the tech is right!!

 

[wanting2010]

Beankeeper, I am so so sorry for your loss!

 

[xkirstyx]

Massive hugs beankeeper!

Counting you can see on my scan pic the small pocket of blood just under baby so I'm guessing it's just that that's causing my bleeding just now. When I do bleed it's hardly anything just there a couple of wipes then stops. Hate my stupid body why do u have to be like this every pregnancy argh!