April Mummies 2011

[caro103]

gorgeous dress dana!

emmy's, hope your enjoying your new family member and he's not wrecking the place yet!!

hope everyone is having a good wkend? ours is somewhat busy, scrubbing the new house!! just come home for alex to have a nap and eat some food, i feel like i could have another nap myself . Do feel lucky we can get the house all clean before our stuff gets moved in though, we should only have to literally unpack . Oh and decorate, get new windows, carpets, kitchen, bathrooms . But it'll at least be clean while we sort all that stuff out! xx

 

[RiRi]

Dress is beaut.

Ah caro it will all be worth it in the end. Defo a godsend being able to get in before to clean

 

[CottlestonPie]

Ladies what's the longest you'd let LO stay away from home? Like with family or whatever?
I need to know I'm not going crazy for feeling the way I do just now...

 

[SazzleR]

Ermmmm, well Rex has stayed at my mum & dad's (60 miles away) for two nights on his own a couple of times & although I missed him, I felt ok about that. I was more than ready to see him again after the weekend though!

 

[RiRi]

I left poppy for a week with my oh when I went on sis hen do and I've left her overnight with family members x

 

[Lilly12]

Aleena's never been away from home overnight, I don't see it being necessary.

 

[Emmy'sMommy]

Just posted a pic of our new addition Roscoe on facebook! He is actually a B0-jack (Boston terrier/Jack Russell mix) and he has been fabulous! He asked to go out and he has been GREAT with the girls!

We rescued him on his last day at a kill shelter So glad we are able to give him a good home!

 

[MissFox]

Enemy cute dog!!
Rosie stays overnight every couple weeks at my moms and the longest so far was 2 nights and 3 days. I miss her but it works. I know she is in a good place. I've been wondering about how long she will be away while I give birth

 

[DanaBump]

Abby's been away from home overnight once, otherwise it doesn't and won't happen for a while.

 

[CottlestonPie]

Thanks ladies. Toby does 3 nights at MILs maybe once a month. I'm ok with that as she doesn't see him often. Once he did 4 nights. It was horrible and I vowed never again. This weekend he was meant to go for another 3 night stint and I packed his stuff accordingly. Took him down there yesterday. While there, MIL decided she'd like to have him for the rest of the week (so Saturday thru Friday)... I said I didn't want that. But DH got me to leave it by saying we'd discuss it when we got home. The discussion was more like me crying my eyes out saying I wanted my baby back and him saying "tough, you're being selfish, deal with it"

I had nightmares constantly last night about Toby not being home and never knowing where he is and DH leaving me for being a monster and not "sharing" Toby.

Please tell me I'm not being crazy for wanting Toby home in 3 days as agreed? Am I being selfish? I'm starting to think maybe it's me who is wrong and I should just do as I'm told.

 

[CaseyBaby718]

Thanks ladies. Toby does 3 nights at MILs maybe once a month. I'm ok with that as she doesn't see him often. Once he did 4 nights. It was horrible and I vowed never again. This weekend he was meant to go for another 3 night stint and I packed his stuff accordingly. Took him down there yesterday. While there, MIL decided she'd like to have him for the rest of the week (so Saturday thru Friday)... I said I didn't want that. But DH got me to leave it by saying we'd discuss it when we got home. The discussion was more like me crying my eyes out saying I wanted my baby back and him saying "tough, you're being selfish, deal with it"

I had nightmares constantly last night about Toby not being home and never knowing where he is and DH leaving me for being a monster and not "sharing" Toby.

Please tell me I'm not being crazy for wanting Toby home in 3 days as agreed? Am I being selfish? I'm starting to think maybe it's me who is wrong and I should just do as I'm told.

DEF NOT!!!! You are his mother and of course you want him around you! 3 days is enough!! That's how long Josie was at my godmothers when we went to Harper's Ferry. It was 2 nights/3 days. I missed her THE WHOLE TIME!!

I don't think it was very nice of your DH to just let you cry and call you selfish. If anything he could have relieved your worry by trying to let you know that Toby was in good hands with MIL. He could have told you it would be a nice rest for you since you are with twins. Instead he made you feel like the bad guy, all because you just want your child safe and missed him. It just wasn't very nice of him.

Your MIL might not see Toby very often but that doesn't mean she has the right to request time you aren't comfortable with. It should be a mutual agreed upon time period.

However, I will tell you, it is a much needed moment of YOU time. To connect being pregnant and to just rest and relax. I know you miss Toby like crazy but since it is out of your control at this point you could just try to make the best of it. In the future you could request that these things be discussed before hand before being sprung up like that. It's not very nice for either of them to have not taken into account your feelings.

I don't know your relationship with your MIL or her style of parenting. So I don't know if your worries over Toby are justified or not. However, they are your feelings and they should have at least been handled with a bit more compassion.

I hope you feel better. Try to take some time to relax and be alone for a little while, even if it isn't what you wanted.

 

[caro103]

oh hun , tbh it makes me cry thinking of leaving alex for all that time too! he's only ever been away from home for the night twice i think....might even only be once! I def saw him both times within 24hours. And I've gone away just once and left him with DH for the wkend, sat morning-sun afternoon. Another than that i've been with him always (accept for work)

omg i'm sooo tired from scrubbing, and kinda hurt my back yesterday so didn't sleep well...ah well, it'll be worth it in the end! just wish every single wall didn't need scrubbing down, where its been empty for 3 years there's rather a lot of cobwebs and i'm guessing fly poo on the walls , its coming off but eugh!

 

[CottlestonPie]

Thanks hun x
It's difficult for me because I KNOW Toby will have a great time. He adores his grandparents (and their dogs), he gets spoilt rotten, he spends a lot of time with his cousin of the same age and they're going swimming which, due to lack of maternity swimsuit, he can't do while he's at home. I keep trying to see it as a holiday and he'll come back and we'll both be refreshed and happy to see each other.
But on the other hand I can't help but feel like I'm the only person whose feelings don't matter and it's left me feeling bitter about the whole thing which makes it harder to focus on those positives. I'd planned to do mothers day crafts with him this week which I now can't do and as much as I know I could do with the RnR and it's "only" five days... I want to cherish these next 3 months with him before I have to split my attention 3 ways.

 

[caro103]

hmmm, I'm lucky I don't have people 'taking' Alex off me without actually asking first. Don't think anyone would actually want him that amount of time , but if they did (can see MIL doing so in the future) I'll be insisting he only goes for the agreed amount of time. I wonder how they'd feel if the boot was on the other foot and they thought he was only staying 3 days and suddnely you throw on them he's staying the entire week!?

Tell them you'll miss him and the agreement for 3 nights, not more, and therefore you guys have stuff planned for next week so sorry he can't stay. Also you're so right, this is your last chance to have alone time with Toby, whereas they can no doubt take him more often once the twins are here as that's when you and he'll need some time out xx

 

[MissFox]

The first time Rosie stayed more than one night it wasn't planned. It broke my heart that I was supposed to see her and had To go an extra 24 hours. I couldn't imagine extra days. I understand both wanting time with Toby and needing the rest but to try to force you into that many extra days with no notice is rude. I hope you're able to find a solution. Big hugs!!!

 

[Emmy'sMommy]

Ava hasn't spent the night away from home yet....Maybe soon! I think my older child was about 18 months before she spent the night with her grandparents

 

[DanaBump]

does your DH mean to come off this way or is he just unaware of how much it hurts you? sometimes my DH says things and doesn't realize how it comes off, but it sounds like your DH actually tries to be a dick.
of course you're not being selfish in wanting him home. he's your son. you're allowed to feel how you want.

 

[CottlestonPie]

He's aware that he's very blunt but he's not intentionally hurting my feelings. Hes just very stubborn and once he's got an idea in his head he'll feel very strongly about it and finds it incredibly hard to see things from other peoples points of view.

I've calmed down a bit now and I'm gonna take it as it comes. If I get everything done that I want tomorrow then I'll be doing all I can to bring him home on Tuesday but I'm staying open minded to the suggestion that maybe I do need more time to get stuff done. Still pissed that the decision was made without me though.

 

[CottlestonPie]

Oh dear, DH has gone and got me chocs and curry for this evening to try and make amends. Feel bad telling him that a jalfrezi is probably the worst thing I could eat with chronic heartburn. Doh.

 

[DanaBump]

that's good, not only that he's not purposely trying to hurt you but also that he tried to make amends

never, let anyone tell you what you're feeling is "wrong", because it's not. enjoy the time to yourself, but as his momma you have every right to bring him home if you want.