April Mummies 2011

[MissFox]

i think it isnt ppd. i think it is so much everything going on is really waring on me. i havent been able to stay at home bwcause of water issues and water wars with a nrighbor. they are really fucking with us. they have called the epa saying our septic was just draining on the ground. theyve called the DA on us for the water (claiming we have messed with their lines when we haven't. and they've messed with ours but we stopped after coming home with the baby and having NO water because of them), they called us in for zoning and for child endangerment (because we live in a trailer). Plus in the midst of all of this and having to leave for a while with the kids I have this major health issue happen. I haven't gotten my disability pay in weeks (6 on friday) and I'm so stressed that having to go to the hospital really got me down extra. I hate these people and I'm so sick of having to deal with them. *sigh*
Though looks like we're moving to town in the next couple months

 

[caro103]

gosh I haven't been on in ages!

sam

ouch for heavy period dana!

hope you're not feeling too sick today sarah

fab jakes taken to reading so well Rachel!

lifes been really busy here lately...must try and get online more! xx

 

[CottlestonPie]

Sorry ive not been aroubs much ladies. Ive hit a bit of a wall.
Im sufferinh. Im finding it impossible to lose weight. Ive sstoppd leaving the house because im so ashamed. Ive got 5 pairs of jeans but one 1 pair fits. Ive got 2 tops.
The obly way dh can compliment me is by telling me that I still look how I used to... from a certain angle, in the dark. He even found a picture of a woman with my pre-baby figure and said to the twins "this is what a woman should look like. Its what mummy used to look like..." and expected me to take it as a compliment.
Now hes off work andwants to take the kids out but wont go alone. So because im sat in our room crying that im too fat for clothes and not good enough, hhs threatebing to takw the kids ans go to his mums for a week. Im sorey for the typos, I xant see the screen properly through tears. I just dobt know what to do.

 

[gertrude]

Oh my fucking god cottles. I'm really sorry but he fucking said WHAT to the kids? For real?

You shouldn't feel ashamed, I'm going to suggest that he needs a fucking boot up the arse. If my OH ever said that to me (which he never would, if I told him what your DH has said he would be as angry as me) he would get a swift kick to the bollocks. Can you show your kids a picture of a kind and loving partner and tell them that's what a real Dad looks like?

Jesus I'm fuming. How fucking dare he.

I'm sorry you're finding it hard to lose weight, I'm trying to and it is hard. But without his loving support you're going to find it hard.

What an absolute cock.

 

[gertrude]

I so wish you were closer and I'd come around with wine and cake and he can fuck off. I'm sorry I'm so sweary but this is abuse. he's mentally mistreating you. How dare he.

Given I'm in Brum and I can't pop over this post comes with the biggest virtual cuddle you've ever had xxx

 

[SazzleR]

Katherine. Losing weight is the toughest thing ever. Especially when you're exhausted & need to eat for energy. Your head needs to be in a good place to do it & it sounds like your's isn't at the minute.

So Rex's sick was the start of a vomiting bug Then 12 hours after he stopped throwing up, I started It deffo wasn't morning sickness either cos the stomach cramps that came with it were awful We're both recover now but both left a bit lack lustre. I've been in bed at 9pm the past 2 nights! Off to my mum's this weekend for some TLC whilst DH is on a boy's weekend. At least I'll get looked after

 

[cheese lover]

I have nothing to say Katherine that Gertrude didn't already say. Basically, he is mentally abusing you! No loving partner would ever treat you that way. He's an immature ass! I'd like to see how much he would weigh after carrying 3 babies and taking care of a household with no support. My husband knows what would happen if he ever said anything like that to me! Your husband obviously does not respect you. You need to get out of the house and go buy a few things that fit and make you feel good. Then work on losing weight. You can't lose weight when you feel like shit! I have only 1 pair of jeans that fit right now and only a couple shirts. I'm running to the mall during lunch to pick up a couple things. It'll make me feel better when I'm trying to pick out clothes and keep my attitude positive. I may be this weight now but not forever! honey, try to get him out of your head. you are worth so much more than him.

 

[caro103]

omg Katherine, the others are so right. does he see much much he hurt u by those v out of order comments?

my dh basically told me the other day I was an amazing mother but shit wife...I cried on him and let him know exactly what I thought of him as a husband at time. things have been a bit better since.

sarah, sounds nasty, glad you'll get tlc at the wkend

afm, ive had a rough day with alex, to the point I cried and he laughed at me...aren't they supposed to show some concern by now!?

 

[DanaBump]

what a shit thing to say! men are just so clueless sometimes

 

[SazzleR]

Caroline. You have my sympathy. Most of my days alone with Rex are rough at the minute. I feel like he's either doing something naughty or screaming cos I've told him he can't do something Toddlers are much harder work than babies imo.

 

[MissFox]

Gertrude and cheese nailed it! Go buy yourself a couple things that fit. You are amazing. I'm speechless you are beautiful!

 

[gertrude]

you are beautiful!

This, tell yourself this every bloody day. You are beautiful inside and out, we can all see it (or we wouldn't all be friends) don't let him make you doubt this. He should be telling you every bloody day, but since he isn't don't you forget it. Because you are.

 

[JakesMummy]

I'm sitting here, leith my mouth open wide, literally! I cannot believe he said that to you, Katherine? No wonder you are not thinking very highly of yourself when you have this much toxicity in your relationship!! Seriously!!! I cannot add to what Gertrude said...exactly what I was going to say. This is abuse. NOT OK. I'd be thinking long and hard whether I wanted someone that toxic, in my life. You are a BEAUTIFUL lady, doesn't matter what size you are. I always laugh at what you post on here and FB, your sense of humour is cracking!! I agree by buying clothes that for you now. It'll make you feel better, it's so so hard to lose weight when you aren't in the right frame of mind.
I swear to god, one day I will drive to you, I'm only an hour away, at most. I'll bring Starbucks.

 

[gertrude]

cottles - I'm sorry if you think I am being far too OTT about what he said. To give you some background I spent 2 years of my life with a controlling idiot and had similar things said to me. It destroyed my confidence. Yeah sure I loved him, and he said he loved me. He didn't, I know that now.

I now know that when someone loves you, they care for you and your happiness is WAY up there on their priortities. Sure we can't be someones number 1 priority all the time, life moves in strange ways, but we're always up there (I'm thinking LOs, illness, other close family who sometimes need our attention). They support us, carry us, reassure us, push us, and ALWAYS want the best for us and DO NOT want to make us unhappy.

They don't compare us, they don't intimidate us or make us cry (intentionally)

Leaving him was the best thing I ever did. It took me a long time to get over the damage he did, and that I let him do.

So I hope you understand I'm not just saying what I said without some experience of it myself. What he said was NOT ON. That isn't what someone who cares for you would do.

When I get down about how I look my OH will listen to me, tell me when I'm being an arse, tell me it doesn't matter how I look to him because he always finds me attractive, understand it matters to me and supports me in whatever way I need him to. I currently do weightwatchers (I do understand the not liking how you look thing) and he now knows how to point meals and what does and doesn't fit a normal day. He's learnt that, for me, to support me, to cherish me.

Sure he's an absolute arse some days and sure when he says his life long dream is to go into space, depending on the day, I offer to pay if it's a one way trip but it's just being silly. When life gets tough we get closer and fight as a team.

I wish your OH would do that, because what we see, me and the other girls on here, is an amazing woman, a beautiful intelligent woman, who is raising 3 children, where 2 are twins (and WAY more than I could do ) and holding her life together. I wish your OH could see you the way we do and cherish you.

xxx

 

[cheese lover]

Gertrude, you're making me cry!

I really hate seeing wonderful women allow men to make them feel anything but awesome, gorgeous, confident and amazing.

Katherine, we care about you so much! I know it doesn't always feel like it, but you are amazing!

So I decided last night, I'm going to wean myself off the zoloft. I'm feeling much better than I have in a long time. I'm still gaining weight even though I'm following weightwatchers. I've quit drinking alcohol completely. I'm also tired all the time even though I get at least 7 hours of sleep every night. I dream crazy dreams and I think they are causing me sleep problems. I have the rest of my bottle of zoloft cut into 37.5 mg pills. I'll try that for a week and see how I feel. I also have a little notebook to keep track of my feelings and thoughts. If I can't do this now I'll wait until I'm living with DH again but I think being alone and having to step up are actually making me feel better. I think I can do this better now than I could have with DH around.
Wish me luck!

 

[JakesMummy]

Hope it goes smoothly for you, Danielle.

I 100% agree with the girls on this one. Gertrude has hit the nail on the head; we adore you. No-one wants to see you down in the dumps, or hurt. I have a lot of admiration for you, girly xx

 

[CottlestonPie]

God I love you girls. Thank you.
Dh doesnt understand why I was upset about what he said... I explained to him that saying I used to look like this person and that maybe one day I will again makes me feel terrible because a) hes saying I look awful now and b) I will never be that person again. My body has been through so much- I have stretch marks, saggy skin (and thats before I lose any weight), scars and an overhang that will never be gone without tens of thousands of pounds worth of surgery. Apparently his intention was to encourage me. It was his way of supporting me by giving me a kick up the backside to do something about it. He thinks my mood and appearence will improve with a few crunches a day in between my housewife and mum jobs. I dunno.
But youre all awesome xxxx

 

[caro103]

gosh he's a funny way of supporting you :/, glad you raised it with him! hopefully now he knows it cut deep what he said he might improve.

Oh no alex has fallen asleep, its nearly 5pm!! I actually couldn't keep him going, wish he'd get why I suggest a nap earlier in the day when he's clearly knackered, lol.

xx

 

[MissFox]

*hugs* lady. I've had my DH say things to try to motivate me too. Just makes me upset often and I'm happy you brought it up to him! Make your feelings known. My DH told me I'm the thinnest I've been since quitting birth control. Ummm I know I've been fat but not for that long. But I know he meant well since hr is less than tactful with his "compliments." Hope you are feeling g better and GO SHOPPING!!!!!

 

[CottlestonPie]

Things have kind of escalated. Cant talk about it just now becauseits too raw. Juat wanted to thank you guys for bwing nice to me.