April Mummies 2011

[gertrude]

Re dummies, one morning earlier in the year I literally dropped pickles on the floor under the car and couldn't find it. I got in the car and genuinely apologised and she said "silly mummy" and never really bothered again so I ran with it. She asked a couple of times and is just said "remember mummy lost it sweetie? I am very sorry" and that was it. It was a million times easier than I thought and all driven by her

 

[lilgemsy]

Gertrude hope everything turns out ok... ollie showed a few soft markers - enlarged kidneys, low fluid, femurs not growing and something to do with his head. But hes fine! Doctors just like to worry you.

Ollies never had a dummy. He sucks his sleeve when hes tired lol. Took bottles off him as soon as he turned one.

Got told he has a place in school nursery from April growing up so quick! Need to get cracking on potty training

 

[gertrude]

I spent most of last night researching how such a late termination takes place and what I need to be prepared for. So no matter what the outcome we have a plan and we know what that plan entails. We are both in agreement too, which makes life easier. I've also spoken to a best friend of mine who tends to share a very similar view on life (and who I respect enormously) and again she totally gets my logic. I know that it is only mine and my OH that matter, but it's good to sense check against someone else.

So, if it's bad news on Friday, I'm drinking the contents of the gin advent calendar I got and booking into the clinic. If it's good news I shall be shouting from the rooftops. If I don't hear on Friday I shall be sleeping/hiding from the world for the whole of the weekend and refusing to speak, then when I do hear the same options.

Just got to get to Friday now without going insane.

 

[cheese lover]

Gertrude! I'm still hopeful that you get good news!

Isis was a terror this morning! I'm sure she'll be a perfect for daycare. That's just how it works.
I am starting to feel a little more energy but it could just be a placebo effect. I'll wait and see.

I'm a little excited, there's a possibility of seeing auroras tonight! I'm going to have to set a reminder to go look because its going to be around 6 pm and I'll be in the middle of dinner. Luckily dinner is just leftovers but I don't want to miss them!

have a good wednesday!

 

[caro103]

so hope you hear Friday Gertrude, thinking positive thoughts

glad to hear alex isn't the only one with a dummy still, I've never know him fall asleep without a dummy accept occasionally in the car. I'm thinking easter bunny, unless they fall apart sooner!

 

[DanaBump]

how far along are you gert?

 

[JakesMummy]

Shit Gertrude, I haven't been on here for ages and had no idea, you poor thing. It messes with your emotions. If you want to talk privately, just message me on FB, I'm on there more often.

I was In the same position as you not long ago, we had a 1 in 2 chance of downs and 1 in 5 of Edwards or Pataus. Ours was via a nuchal scan and they combined with bloods. We knew in our hearts we couldn't do it. We had two children who would potentially be carers when they are older.

I can't Remember if there were any soft markers but I had had a slight bleed the morning of the scan and was getting sharp pains so I'm guessing my body would have naturally miscarried had I not "intervened". Baby had a very fast heartrate too.

I am sending positive thoughts your way xx

 

[gertrude]

how far along are you gert?

Will be 17 weeks come Saturday, so it can't be a medical procedure in a way I don't mind that, I mean it's going to be fucking awful but I know it's better for me in the long run.

Thanks Jakes x I may well be in touch, kinda just I'm limbo right now

 

[DanaBump]

i just read about it online for the UK and sounds like you'll be put under which i think is the only way i could do it. i had a "normal" abortion at 8.5 weeks when i was 20 and that was fucking traumatizing.

i really hope these conversations mean nothing and your little one is perfect.

 

[gertrude]

i just read about it online for the UK and sounds like you'll be put under which i think is the only way i could do it. i had a "normal" abortion at 8.5 weeks when i was 20 and that was fucking traumatizing.

i really hope these conversations mean nothing and your little one is perfect.

Nope not under, one tablet to stop progesterone, then go to hospital to give birth 48hrs later (but with all the painrelief you want as of course no impact on baby)

Totally shit, but an end at least.

 

[DanaBump]

holy christ, bring a bottle of gin with you....also, if there's anything i can tell you is please please please go talk to someone after. i downward spiraled after mine which included a coke addiction and drunk nearly every night (of course being a bartender in 2 biker bars didn't help, lol). took years to even come to being able to talk about it, and abby's birth being around the abortion date (april 19) to even LIKE the month of april.

again, i'm praying and hoping it's nothing but good news and of course we're all here if you need

 

[gertrude]

I fully intend to take every single drug they offer, and get blind drunk tbh. I also think we will have MIL look after pickle for a weekend for a blow out too. I have a great therapist that I've been to many times over the last 6 years and yes, have every intention of booking to see her too.

In my head I can make a clear argument but I expect when it's the actual situation it'll feel very different to how it is now.

Thanks Dana x

 

[DanaBump]

i agree to having MIL watching the kiddo for at least a couple days, although all depending you may want her nearby, hard to say but nice to have a back up plan.

 

[gertrude]

The thing that really bothers me is that I'd like to just tell people when it's all over, but with pickle I don't see how we can. It feels too intrusive to say here have this grandchild whilst I go to hospital to deal with this one.

I have a friend who might look after her but then mil would be upset.

Still something for us to consider after we get results I guess

 

[DanaBump]

why do you think it's intrusive? i don't think it's good to have her around while you and DH are dealing with such things. she doesn't need to see the two of you like this, she'd rather have a fun unexpected weekend with gma i'm sure.

 

[lilgemsy]

Hey gertrude ive just thought would you not consider adoption? That way you wouldn't have to go through the physical pain of losing it if it were to be that outcome plus youd be giving someone else the chance to be parents.
Just a suggestion.

 

[JakesMummy]

I've read many successful stories on another forum about ladies that were given a 1 in 5 chance and baby didn't end up having a trisomy. There's an 80% chance baby does not have a trisomy. Try and focus on that as hard as it is.

I am in the process of going for counselling. Usually I can get myself out of depression and change my thinking but it's proving hard this time.
After losing my Nan closely followed by my Dad, then two babies this year, a friend has just died from a heart attack at the age of 30, I think I'm ready to explode.
Mum has stage 3 cancer but has gone to the Marsden in Chelsea to chat to the surgeons regarding removal or reconstruction of bladder. I live in fear of Cancer now. Even though, smoking was my dad's number one reason for his and mum was a passive smoker, smoking being one of the main contributors for bladder.

Fuck. Sorry. My brain just feels like exploding and I don't let it off my chest!!! I'm thinking positive every day and getting out and about, it helps me to be busy.

This shitty weather doesn't help my moods. May try a SAD light.

 

[gertrude]

I've read many successful stories on another forum about ladies that were given a 1 in 5 chance and baby didn't end up having a trisomy. There's an 80% chance baby does not have a trisomy. Try and focus on that as hard as it is.

I am in the process of going for counselling. Usually I can get myself out of depression and change my thinking but it's proving hard this time.
After losing my Nan closely followed by my Dad, then two babies this year, a friend has just died from a heart attack at the age of 30, I think I'm ready to explode.
Mum has stage 3 cancer but has gone to the Marsden in Chelsea to chat to the surgeons regarding removal or reconstruction of bladder. I live in fear of Cancer now. Even though, smoking was my dad's number one reason for his and mum was a passive smoker, smoking being one of the main contributors for bladder.

Fuck. Sorry. My brain just feels like exploding and I don't let it off my chest!!! I'm thinking positive every day and getting out and about, it helps me to be busy.

This shitty weather doesn't help my moods. May try a SAD light.

Holy. Fuck. When you list it like that I'm impressed you're even able to fucking speak. Jesus I'm so glad you're getting someone to talk to. Getting all those strands out of your head will help I'm sure. We are always here for the outpourings and I do a very VERY good line in swearing which I'm happy to share with you if that helps (sorry, it's probably the only thing I can offer but it might help). If you were closer I'd suggest a night in the pub.

I've just rung the fetal medicine team to find out if they think it'll be Friday or Monday and they think it'll probably be Monday. I have no idea how to get through the next few days. It really makes you realise that until you've been through something you just don't have a fucking clue how it feels.

Anyway, they said the lab won't release the results until they're totally happy with them. I had read a few threads elsewhere where people had had results after 48hrs and they were clear so I started to worry that the longer mine took the more likely the outcome was going to be positive. But she said the lab will only release them when they're happy with the results and that they won't release sooner. Which is of course what I was but the nagging feeling is still there.

So I'm going into hiding. I can't think of how else we can cope with this. No one knows except my best friend, my OH and you girls. It's my nieces birthday on Saturday and I've just told OH no way am I going. He either needs to take pickle, or get someone to do it, but I'm not. They know I'm expecting, there would be just too many questions and I can't cope with that.

< that's me today

 

[gertrude]

Hey gertrude ive just thought would you not consider adoption? That way you wouldn't have to go through the physical pain of losing it if it were to be that outcome plus youd be giving someone else the chance to be parents.
Just a suggestion.

Considered it but no not for us x

 

[gertrude]

Jakes - which is the other forum?

that said when I read success stories I feel that I'm jinxing myself I thikn that they must be the 4/5's and that leaves just the 1/5 for me