April Mummies 2011

[RiRi]

Oh gem I'm so sorry to hear that xxx

 

[SazzleR]

God, Gem, that's horrific. Hope your dad is getting the help he needs now.

 

[lilgemsy]

Yeah my dads fine now. Just a moment of weakness I guess. He recently got made redundant and hes finding it near impossible to get a new job so it just got to him a little too much. He has 2 interviews lined up this week though so fingers crossed he'll get one.an itll help him out of his depression. Hes the kinda guy who needs to be doing something all the time.

 

[MissFox]

Hope he gets a job Gem. And I hope you get to talk to someone if you need to. That can't be an easy thing to try to process alone.

Sending hugs and love your way Gertrude.

 

[cheese lover]

Oh Gem! I can't even imagine! I'm so glad he's better now. I feel like you never get a break! Either you're sick or something else crazy is going on. I hope your dad gets one of those jobs he's interviewing for!

The people that looked at our house Wednesday want to come look at it again tomorrow. I don't understand how people can be so indecisive. I mean DH and I knew exactly which house we wanted when we moved here. As long as everything was the way we thought we were going to put in an offer and even knew how much we would offer. This is driving me crazy! Anyway, DH should be home soon, like in the next few minutes so he's going to help me tidy the house a little. I had started a project and we need to do laundry but its really clean from Wednesday.

 

[caro103]

Omg gem, glad you got there on time xx

Blimey Danielle they're stringing it out for you.

Btw not sure if you've all had a message on fb re. Gertrude but thursdsy went as well as could be expected, she said the baby was beautiful. Still thinking of you Gertrude xx

 

[DanaBump]

no i didn't get a message. glad to hear it all went well

 

[cheese lover]

Thank you for the update Caroline! This is driving me nuts! How many times do they need to look at it to make a decision?! Oh well at least the house is mostly clean because of the showing on Wednesday.

 

[SazzleR]

Thanks for the update, Caroline.

You're still in my thoughts, Gertrude

 

[cheese lover]

I'm so glad to have dh home! Isis is already back to normal. Although she did wake up screaming at 2 am yelling "mommy, I need snuggles!" As loud as she can. I just laughed and brought her to bed. She went right to sleep and slept until 8:30! She's so good now that I've weaned her that I don't even mind her sleeping in my bed with me. She just sleeps
I think they might finally have the right diagnosis! I've lost 6 pounds since I started taking med December 30! I'm back down into the 170's! I also have more energy but I'm still tired quite a bit.

Still thinking of you Gertrude!

 

[MissFox]

Isis is too stinkin cute!! And I'm really happy you have the right diagnosis! I need to get back on losing weight

 

[CottlestonPie]

Ever get those moments where you want to shout at the top of your lungs YES I AM FUCKING USELESS THANKD FOR THE REMINDER, punch a few assholes then cry?
I managed the last one before I walked away.

 

[CottlestonPie]

.

 

[gertrude]

Fucking hell gem I hope you have someone to talk to


Sorry for radio absence everyone, not had much time online between seeing my MIL, my own mum and today just spending time with pickle.

So Thursday was beautiful, I was dropped off at the hospital whilst my OH took pickle to my MILs and then he joined me. The bereavement midwife was amazing, and I started the first two tablets. There some some slight cramping but nothing much. Second lot of tablets at midday. That got things moving a bit but nothing major them two more tablets at 3pm. I had cocodamol twice then at 6pm had morphine. Which zoned me out totally.

The room was nice and we had no need to leave the space at all, which allowed us to just be together. We watched QI and listened to music and were just us. The MW left us alone totally.

I have a meltdown at about 5pm as I didn't think we were getting anywhere and I didn't want to end up there overnight and everything was crap and and and. And with hindsight it was transition only I hadn't clocked.

The pain was equal to that having pickle, only I was much more in control and knew whatever painrelief I wanted was there.

The pushing contractions got too heavy and I knew there wasno need to be a hero and had the morphine. Fucking hell that injection hurt like hell!!!!!!

Thenabout 6.30pm the MW told me to get walking around as I needed to get this baby out and I literally knelt up and I felt baby and they were delivered there and then two pushes, one for baby, one for placenta and it was all over.

We had spoke about what to do when baby was born because I was frightened I would regret meeting them after all we didn't know how affected they might be. But the MW took baby away and came back with them all wrapped up in a knitted crib looking totally beautiful. They were quite big considering they were only 17 weeks. But the spit of my OH, even down to the way their lips laid. Quite mad.

We got to spend a few hours with them before saying our goodbyes and heading home. I have no recollection of going home the morphine wiped me so much (from a misspent youth I know I don't like opiates) and I don't know if it was my homing instinct or my OHs ability to get me to bed (or more likely a combination of the two) but I woke up 10 hours later at home.

They are gorgeous. We chose for them to have a communal cremation rather than a private service. We aren't religious at all, but the idea they could be with other babies and moan about their parents forever, if that is what happens, appeals. We don't believe in an after life anyway BUT just in case there is one, we want them to have company.

So now I just feel empty and sad. I haven't stopped crying now for two weeks and I'm exhausted. Pickle is stressed too. I just don't know how we are ever going to find a way to live with this massive hole in our lives

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. You will never know how much it has all meant to me xxxxx

Just to add, the midwife was amazing, she takes the duvet cover and fancy pillows home to wash because technically she can't have them, so she does it in her own time. She also personally knits everything for the babies herself in her own time. As a thankyou I am asking all my knitting friends to knit one to add to her collection. The least we can do is pay it forward I someway, and help another family who go through a difficult time. So if any of you want to be on that too let me know x

 

[SazzleR]

It's so good to hear from you, Gertrude. Haven't stopped thinking about you.

Relieved to hear that you were so brilliantly looked after

I wish I could knit to add to your collection of clothes to give to the midwife but unfortunately I am not creative in any way. Would love to donate some wool if anyone else can knit.

 

[cheese lover]

Gertrude, thank you for sharing your experience! I know it's what everyone says but time helps tremendously. The hole will never go away but it will be more bearable. Massive hugs! What about crochet blankets? I don't knit but I do crochet a lot.

 

[loopy82]

It's good to hear from you Gertrude and I'm glad to hear that you were all so well cared for. I can knit and would be happy to do something.

 

[caro103]

thanks for sharing your story Gertrude, take time to heal hun.

afraid I cannot knit xx

 

[cheese lover]

Katherine I hope things are better now!

So our showing started at 1:30 so we went to town for lunch at around noon. We'll its 3:15 and they're still freaking there!! We're about to lose it! Dh still has a 4 hour drive in front of him and I need to cut his hair. I'm worried dh won't be able to leave until late. They better put in a fucking offer after all this shit.

 

[DanaBump]

why the hell do you need to be in a house for two hours?! that's just rude.