April Mummies 2011

[CottlestonPie]

Noooo not jezza! haha
Good to see ya lovely x

 

[caro103]

gem, terrible terrible program! hope it was fun seeing it live.

 

[lilgemsy]

It was even worse live xD
I actually went before summer and totally forgot and then got a message saying I was on TV so put it on haha.
Some crazy people on it but media city is a wonderful place! I'd love to work there one day!

How is everyone anyway? I have so much to catch up on!

 

[RiRi]

Hahaha I love jezza it's so trashy it's great can't wait for mat leave to be able to watch it hahaha

Had my consultant appointment yday. Spoke about birth he has advised for me to have another section this time at 39 weeks as I'm at higher risk of womb rupturing during labour due to the t cut incision they had to make when I had Poppy! Also he measured me massive but he said he's not convinced he measured correctly so am going for a growth scan in a couple of weeks!
Scary to think that I'll be having the baby in 11 weeks eeek

 

[caro103]

eeek ria! that's really soon

 

[DanaBump]

I'm saying girl #2. do you have names?

 

[RiRi]

We don't have definite names. We like pearl and Betsy for a girl and Flynn and Brody for a boy but nothing at all set in stone so they could change.
First one round we have boy n girls name picked much harder second time lol

 

[CottlestonPie]

Girls I need opinions on how to proceed please!
Toby has started to relate a lot of things to colours. If we are doing crafts, he waits for me to start then says he csnt because his lights is red. Then its orange. Then its green so he can start. I dont know why he does it or where the traffic light idea has come from but still... today he was crazy hyper and I tried using the lights. I made contact (he doesnt listen if you dont engage him with touch) and told him he needed to calm down. I told him that right now hes very green. He needs to slow down.... now go to orange. Now calm... and go red. Be still.
Then I sat him on my lap and he took a voluntary few minutes to calm down on my knee.

The only problem is that dh is convinced toby has asd and he is determined to have toby depict his emotions in colour to make it easier to communicate his feelings. So red would be angry not calm/stopped. Dh thinks this will work because when hes asked toby a few times about his colour when he appears uneasy, he's said blue. Although im convinced hes telling us hes blue because thats his profile colour on netflix!! (Hes always saying hes the blue profile, im the yellow, daddys orange)....

Dh is kinda upset with me for potentially confusing the colour feelings that he wanted toby to use. Hes seen a friends autistic child use colours for emotions so hes convinced it'll work.

What would you do? Im stuck. Do i stop using traffic lights until I know if the emotional colours work for toby or not... or continue with the traffic lights because ive seen it help calm him down?

 

[caro103]

I'd say keep using the traffic lights if it helps him calm down and he's kinda implemented it himself. With alex he started saying to me 'knock, knock' when he wanted my attention (don't know where that came from either), but if I do it back to him I have his attention immediately. I think if the child choses to use something, you should go with it.

There's no reason why colours can't be used to display emotions too though, just use different colours. Or refer to the traffic light red and angry red?

Sounds like a good system to use. xx

 

[RiRi]

If Toby understand it and can relate to it go with it. Even if he hasn't got asd children stuggle to process their emotions. I would also once he's got the colours sorted use the words also. E.g Toby your feeling blue. That means your anxious lets do x y and z to calm. Or Toby I can see your red, that means your angry you need to ... Be green
He might learn emotions that way of he struggles with it.

Also if he's hyper look up sensory feedback as some children need propreceptive feedback to calm e.g tough hugs to calm.

 

[DanaBump]

Have you gotten him evaluated? Birth to 3 is so important as the sooner a problem is found and addressed, the easier it will be for him later on. It took me til my step son was 4 to get dh to agree to have him evaluated and I wonder howuch further along he'd be if we went sooner (he's got high functioning autism).
On another note, perhaps make a chart with colors and emotions with faces written on them and when you need bring him to it and have him choose. It's so hard for this age to know their feelings especially if he is autistic or something along those lines.
Please please please don't self diagnose. Again, the sooner you get him help, the better his life will be.

 

[lilgemsy]

As Dana said, don't self diagnose. He could just be acting his age. If you're worried take him to see someone before jumping to conclusions.
But the traffic lights things seems to work so stick with it. it's really good that he will calm down using that actually and that he's smart enough not only to understand it but to actually implement it himself.

 

[RiRi]

So the hospital phoned baby has it's eviction date! 12th January! Eeeeeek

 

[CottlestonPie]

NI'm not self diagnosing dont worry... dh is being evaluated for high functioning autism and we are waiting for tobys referral as autism can apparently be hereditary.

I admit as a sahm when dh was out of the house 14 hours a day, I had my suspicions (of adhd to be honest) after being with toby ALL day... but when my concerns fell on deaf ears I put it out of my mind. Now dh (and mil) has had enough time to conveniently forget my concerns, hes had the same thoughts as me but has taken it one step further in convincing himself that toby definitely is on the spectrum and is treating him as such. Hes even joined facebook groups for parents of autistic children. This whole thing with him trying to implement a feelings colour chart when toby is a bit confused by it all is a prime example of him having already decided both the the outcome of an eval that hasnt happened yet, and how toby will process things even though every child (autistic or not) is different.
Whereas I use the traffic lights purely because it works and its something tobys used himself. Dhs cousin saw it yesterday and actuslly said it was like taking the energizer bunny and removing the batteries one by one.
with all that said we are still waiting for tobys referral and we wont treat him any differently (at least i wont) regardless of results.

 

[CottlestonPie]

So the hospital phoned baby has it's eviction date! 12th January! Eeeeeek

Yaaaaay exciting!!!

 

[DanaBump]

yes, autism is hereditary. we were scared with abby since dh's other son is on the spectrum, but then his ex had another baby with full blown autism, we figured it came from her side.
i cannot stress enough getting him evaled asap and help asap. go momma bear on DH if you have to. i know kids zack's same age who are doing twice as much as he and aren't as high functioning (like not being fully potty trained and he's 10). good luck!
also, adhd and autism lots of times goes hand in hand. Zack is the same way, though it depends on the environment at home too. since we sent him to live with his gma, he's now running on counters, screaming and punching teachers and the like. not much we can do 100+ miles away, but definitely consistency at home helped when he was here.
any questions, let me know!

 

[RiRi]

They should look I to ADHD as part of the assessment cottles

 

[CottlestonPie]

Thank you Dana. I assume they would Ria but I wasn't 100% sure.
We can't afford a private eval so we're on an NHS waiting list. How long that is... well, how long's a piece of string? Could be 8 weeks or 18 months. There's no knowing. He's been referred though so all we have to do is wait for an appointment letter.

I agree with the environment being a factor. I think thats the case with all smalls, regardless of whether theyre autistic or not. Toby is far more comfortable to be himself around me and DH. He doesn't let himself go to the same extent when we're not around. I keep telling myself it's because he trusts us to keep him safe when he zones out and can't stop himself... Of course on other days I tell myself its because he hates me. The joys of motherhood

 

[lilgemsy]

Well cottles I've been waiting about 12 months for a referral to speech therapy for ollie on the nhs... which isn't as important as getting possible autism diagnosed!
Hopefully they'll be quicker with you but they do take the piss lol.

 

[MissFox]

I hope your referral goes though quickly!!!
Ria your baby will be here so soon! How exciting!
I'm 9+4 today. Morning sickness isn't nearly as bad as it was a couple weeks ago. Most of the time it only comes if I don't eat constantly. So happy it hasn't been as bad this time because with both girls it was so rough!!
Casey- what is your due date?
I had a written exam as part of an application today and I feel like it went well. I should get the results some time next week.