Well, last week I was 1cm+ a wiggle and easily stretched to a 2. I was told then I was 75% effaced. This week I am 3cm on the outside, closer to 2cm on the inside, but easily stretched to a 3+. She said I was 50% effaced. She wouldn't do a sweep because I've had a csection and they don't allow vbacs (not my usual OB). Less than happy with her. She kept grilling me about my csection and said not to hold my breath for this baby to come without one. She sucked. Baby is measuring 37 weeks
She can suck it! Don't ever see her again!
AFM: I'm losing tons of mucus. I had the sweep, and here I am now 42 hours later still pregnant.
I'm not going to get another sweep. I'm done trying to egg this crap along. All it does is make me upset. I had a false alarm after the sweep and I don't want to do that again. I'm feeling hugely defeated, incredibly irritable and so over it all. Im 5cm, 50% effaced and everyone said that's good. That's great. Any day now! Well any day now has turned into 2 days now and likely will be 3-4-5 days now. It means nothing. Everything means nothing. Oh I lost my plug, means nothing, oh your body is already half way there, means nothing. Only my water breaking or solid contractions would mean ANYTHING and none of that has happened. 😖 I'm so cranky! I walked and danced and did lots of hip motions and all it did was make me sore all in my pelvis.
But I'll let Mother Nature do what it's going to do. Even if it pisses me off to no end. I'm not happy about any of this but I just feel so blah. Im so done waiting that I've given up doing anything until baby arrives. I can't focus on anything. I'm angry and moody and crying all the time.
The kids have me going sooo crazy. i just can't deal with them. Some days it's Josie more- today is Ember and I just can't. I'm either crying or yelling. It's not even their fault and so then I'm even more upset and moody and irritable.
I think my hormones have dipped even before the baby has even come. Which kind of freaks me out. I've never had PPD but it's always in the back of my head- what if.
I wish there was something to make myself feel better but I'm not in the mood to feel better. I just want to be not pregnant and meet my little man. 😟 don't mind my complainy rant.