April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[maybesoon]

Stmw.... cute bump!!! So happy to hear you are back with the midwife!!!

As for scary stories.... I haven't been told any of them.... All I hear about is "how easy" it was... UGH... Right now I think I'd like to know that someone I know had a little bit of a hard labor.... Mean... I know....

I was only sick for a few hours yesterday then started feeling better. I got to the point of having to take my bra off at work yesterday afternoon because I felt like my chest was being crushed..... Seems it's time to branch out & buy a couple of bigger bras!!! Never thought I'd be saying that!!!

This morning I am feeling great again.... Hopefully I stay that way today. Thank you ladies for being there for me. I couldn't do this without y'all. You are the only ones I feel normal with.

The oh asked me over yesterday afternoon! It was a really good visit. I stayed about an hour. He was actually really sweet, the man I married. I honestly didn't want to leave, but I forced myself out the door. Then my mom & I got into a huge fight. She is so judgmental and refuses to think anything other than the worse of him. She doesn't even know that I have seen him the last 2 days. She would lose it if she did. I feel like a 15 year old right now around her. If she even thinks it's him I'm texting she blows up at me. She just doesn't understand that people can change. I told her he hasn't been drinking and that he has been working tons of overtime to get things caught back up & prove that he can be who he promised. She just rolled her eyes & said that crap, he's not going to change. So I feel like I have to sneak around to see my own husband for 30-1hour... At least my dad gets it & understands.

Hope you ladies have a great day!!!!

 

[LittleSpy]

steph82 -- Yes I'm absolutely still taking prenatals and will be all the way through. I continued taking them while breastfeeding last time and plan to do the same again.

maybesoon -- The dizziness is possibly low blood pressure. I have good days and bad, too. But overall this pregnancy has been much more pleasant than my first so I feel like I can't complain at all. And this time, I have a toddler and much more stressful job so I feel like I should feel way worse than I do. So, it doesn't just vary from person to person, it even varies from pregnancy to pregnancy!

lily28 -- I try to appreciate the horror stories as they can really prepare you. I personally HATE when people pretend labor, delivery, breastfeeding, etc will automatically be all roses. I don't know if people should just straight up volunteer the information though. That's a bit weird. I don't see myself sharing my birth story with some random pregnant person in real life. I was totally ready and prepared by like 25 weeks with #1. Nursery was all set up and ready to go and everything. This time I'm really unorganized. Don't know where to start. I keep feeling like I have all the time in the world to get stuff done. Don't know if I really need anything. Don't know what to name her. I'm a mess.

doggylover -- lol about your coworkers! I'm also wishing the day away for the weekend! I guess yours is almost here by now.

stmw -- glad you're back to midwives! Lovely bump! And I'm thinking girl if they couldn't see a sac and willy (the classic boy turtle shape!)! I think it's common for girl parts to be swollen and stick out at this point.

 

[Steph82]

turtle shape

 

[kealz194]

Maybe soon, I'm hoping this doesn't comes out harsh and if it does I apologise! But your mum cares about you! You ran to her at the worst point in your relationship and she saw what he was doing tonyou, an in your condition! So I can completely understand her concern and although she may not be putting it across to you in the right way, you are her baby and if this was you in years to come with your own daughter or son with an alcoholic partner would you act any different! Yes people change, but alcoholism is a serious disease and a few days of conversation will not change him just like that... I have seen it to the most severe of cases and I don't want to talk about it really but let's just say your oh reminds me very much of an ex... The mental stress he put on me! I truly hope he sorts it out for your baby's sake.... But your mum, she cares about you and is trying to protect you... And wanting so hard for it to work with ur oh, is clouding judgement just slightly.... I'm sorry if I've been out of line! But I've been there got the t-shirt, jumper, jacket and any other merchandise you can think of! Hope it all works out for you! X

 

[ukgirl23]

Maybesoon- I have to agree with Kealz here but I don't want to put a downer on you when things are finally looking up. I would not want my daughter in that position but having been through something simular as I've already told you, I understnad how hard it is for you and how heartbreaking it is to be in your shoes, my ex andI broke up when my little girl was 8 months old, he came back 6 months later being all sweetness and light, begging me to take him back, telling me how he knew I was right and he needed help and promising to change, I was so happy to have the man I loved and knew back that all the bad melted away, and I think that is what you are going through right now. The only problem in my situation was as soon as he had me in a situation where I couldn't get out, the abuse started again and i was too proud to go back to the people who warned me like others are warning you too, I didn't want them to have the satisfaction of being right over my failed marriage so I stayed pretending things were good until he hit me when I was pregnant and after I had our son he pushed me down stairs backwards in front of my daughter who was 2 at the time. He knew that I would believe his lies and that I wanted more than ever for things to work so his behaviour got worse.

You need to make sure before you go back that he gets help and support and not from you. He needs doctors and therapy and it's going to take a while, but you need to build your self back up too. When you can see he really is changing and not just making empty promises then it will be better.

STMW- so glad to hear about you being midwife led, welldone!! and cute bump!! I dont have confidence to stand in my pants lol.

Doggylover - since you mentioned about your co-worker looking at your bump I started noticing people looking at mine, particularly one of the other mums who STARES at it when I am near her on the playground.... I'm glad your co-workers had figured it out but it's a bit boring that you couldn't shock them with the news! lol xx

lily28- i don't listen to horror stories, every one is different and most ladies have good experiences with pregnancy and birth, I think that women are so proud to come out the other side of labour with their gorgeous new babies that they like to talk up their experiences because it's almost like they have bragging rights You will be fine I promise, millions of women all over the world give birth everyday xx

I'm sorry if I've missed anyone out I'm just having a quick run through before hoovering the house

AFM - I felt my baby's first proper little kicks last night, I have felt rolling around and wiggling but this time I've been feeling little pokey kicks, thye are amazing!!
I survived the class of 6 year olds and making guy fawkes today, despite some little boy pelting me with paper balls, I told him I would eat him if he didn't stop.. he stopped

Other than that I've just been sleeping and catching up on Grey's anatomy (The best show ever by the way!) Hope you all have a lovely weekend, it's half term for us now yay!

 

[maybesoon]

Maybe soon, I'm hoping this doesn't comes out harsh and if it does I apologise! But your mum cares about you! You ran to her at the worst point in your relationship and she saw what he was doing tonyou, an in your condition! So I can completely understand her concern and although she may not be putting it across to you in the right way, you are her baby and if this was you in years to come with your own daughter or son with an alcoholic partner would you act any different! Yes people change, but alcoholism is a serious disease and a few days of conversation will not change him just like that... I have seen it to the most severe of cases and I don't want to talk about it really but let's just say your oh reminds me very much of an ex... The mental stress he put on me! I truly hope he sorts it out for your baby's sake.... But your mum, she cares about you and is trying to protect you... And wanting so hard for it to work with ur oh, is clouding judgement just slightly.... I'm sorry if I've been out of line! But I've been there got the t-shirt, jumper, jacket and any other merchandise you can think of! Hope it all works out for you! X

You aren't being to harsh or out of line. And I know she is only trying to protect me, but I chose to marry him & get pregnant by him. I take that very seriously & I can't just not give him a chance to prove himself. I am not holding my breath nor am I moving back in with him anytime in the near future. He is completely aware of that fact. We have talked about it and he understands that we have to take it slowly (extremely slowly) that I can't handle moving back in just to be kicked out on my face again by him. We are going to start a marriage course & start dating again. This is something that will takes months to correct not a couple of conversations. He knows he has tons to prove to me & he has to earn my trust again (which he absolutely knows will be extremely hard). As I told him last night, it's not about him or I anymore. If it was about me, it would have been an easy choice. But I have our baby to think about & I just have to make damn sure I'm making the best/safest decision for our baby.

As for my mom.... I just wish every single time one of my friends text me she didn't get all pissy & say "that better not be "him" your talking to". I just wish she could be more supportive like my dad. I know both of them only want what is best for me & the baby, but right now she is only making things harder for me.

 

[maybesoon]

ukgirl.... I totally agree. That is part of why I just randomly showed up at his house on Wednesday without his knowledge. I wanted to see for myself if he was drinking when the kids weren't there & he was alone. And I think part of me wanted to see if anyone else was there. I have a very criminal/investigative mind. My boss tells me all the time I should have been a Private Investigator. I have even driven by his house in the middle of the night on the weekends when he's alone to make sure he's alone. I won't go back until I am sure it is right. He knows this is going to be a very long process.

 

[kealz194]

Mums don't always help situations I must admit more often than not I get frustrated with mine as she doesn't think before she opens her very large mouth! But she means well! Maybe see if your dad can have words with her? Always works with my mum lol! I'm glad your taking it slow, and I completely understand you don't want to loose something, and if your both gonna work at it and specially him then best of luck I really mean it! He may just realise how special the life your both creating is far more important than the booze! But don't make it easy for him either! I'm glad I haven't offended you, I'm sorry I didn't word it very well it's a bit of a sore subject for me an I loose my temper lol! X

 

[LittleSpy]

I've learned the hard way to not talk to my mom about my husband. She dwells on anything bad I tell her and neglects all the good entirely. I hate it. But that's her and she's pushed me away to the point where I really don't like talking to her at all about anything anymore.

I learned if you're going to talk to someone about your husband, it should be HIS mom. Because she pretty much already knows all the bad I'm dealing with because she dealt with it for 18 years before me. Too bad MIL in my case is a crazy old bat and she's driven us away over the last year as well.

 

[maybesoon]

lol kealz... One of the things that drives him crazy about me is I have no filter... I speak my mind & what I mean is usually not how it comes out. Problem is.... My mom doesn't hesitate to speak her mind either. I honestly don't know what the future has in store for us. But for now, I'm going to take it day by day and see how important we really are to him. Only time will tell. And it's like I have told him.... This is his choice & his battle.... I can't do it for him. I have already chosen our baby over alcohol (true not the same as I'm not addicted) but I have. Sometimes there are things in life that are much more important than ourselves....

 

[maybesoon]

LittleSpy.... you are absolutely right... That's why I don't tell my mom much about what's going on at all. She knows very little. But she has seen how upset I was in the very beginning. Funny how when I hit the 2nd trimester I'm not near as much of a crybaby!!!!

I have been talking to my MIL a lot. She has been very supportive. And I love that I have her now to turn to.

 

[kealz194]

Lol I'm a speak my mind lady too! Best kind I reckon! It's good that you have made that desicion now and know that if thing don't change you can move on with your child! My fil is an alcoholic! And in all honesty I hate him, would rather my children have nothing to do with him but its not my choice it's oh's! But I've heard the stories of how he treated my oh! Makes me sick to the bone! He was jealous that oh took priority over him to his wife and made him suffer! Would let him go see Santa Claus, get a silly toy like one year he got a teenage mutant ninja turtle watch, and when he got Holme ripped it off his arm an stomped on it! He was 5!!!! Yet my oh has forgiven him and is the most caring person in the world, I must admit childish at times, but I think that's coz his child hood was taken away! His mum was not strong enough to leave till oh was 17!!!!! X

 

[doggylover]

Doggylover - since you mentioned about your co-worker looking at your bump I started noticing people looking at mine, particularly one of the other mums who STARES at it when I am near her on the playground.... I'm glad your co-workers had figured it out but it's a bit boring that you couldn't shock them with the news! lol xx

catching up on Grey's anatomy (The best show ever by the way!) Hope you all have a lovely weekend, it's half term for us now yay!

Lol I'm not into shocking, plus I think they expected it of us, so even if I had lurked it out weeks ago I don't think they would have been shocked!

I'm just about to start watching the new series of greys online can't wait!

Maybesoon sorry to hear you are having problems with your mom, I hope that the whole situation is resolved soon, for your sake, oh and the baby.

 

[ukgirl23]

oh I love to shock people, I don't get big news often lol. This season of Grey's started out sad but today's episode had me laughing all the way through, I feel like classic Greys is coming back

Maybesoon - Just make sure you're not the one making all the effort. He hasn't been to visit you or tried to talk to you without being an ass in the process, he's probably feeling like he has control since you have made the first moves when he should have done, since he messed up in the first place.

 

[maybesoon]

ukgirl..... Trust me.... He's working for it.... He started begging me last week to come over & I wouldn't. I'm honestly not making much of an effort at this point. He knows the ball is in his court. He either steps up to my expectations or he doesn't.

 

[doggylover]

Ukgirl I heard that the first two episodes are pretty heart wrenching...I'll be a mess!

 

[ukgirl23]

Have tissues doggylover! Lots of them xxx

 

[Steph82]

Doggylover, UKgirl is right!!! I was sobbing

Good thing: You can blame the hormones

 

[LittleSpy]

Haha, speaking of sobbing, I spent 30 minutes on the side of the road yesterday on the way to work from my OB appointment crying hysterically about a spider being in my car. I'm terrified of spiders and this was a big fat grey wooly one which I've never in my life seen before. I freaked out enough when I saw him crawling across my windshield. Imagine my horror when I realized he was INSIDE!!! I was on the interstate and nearly just pulled into the emergency lane but I was afraid of being hit by some careless driver so I made it a mile to the next exit and pulled off the road. I knocked him down with one of those roll-up baby window shades and he just immediately disappeared under my driver seat! I cried and cried and tried to find him to kill him (or to get him out of the car). And then I called my husband who told me I was being an irrational hysterical pregnant woman and that I "should have been more deliberate with [my] spider killing" (so that it wouldn't still be alive and now hiding) and then I cried some more. I'm sure I looked absolutely insane on the side of the road beating my seat with a window shade and a sandal but I'm pretty miffed that not a single person stopped to help the hysterical pregnant woman stranded on the side of the road! Eff this city. Anyway, I ended up having to get back into my car (with the spider) and driving to work with it somewhere in my car. And then I had to drive home a couple hours later. And now I have no idea if it's still lurking in there somewhere or if it's gotten out and I'm so scared it's going to like jump on my face on the way home from work today. I actually took the back way home from work (which, horrifyingly enough, takes longer) just to avoid the interstate so that if it reappears I can pull over more immediately and not have a wreck while driving 70mph. I guess I should take the back way again today. My husband won't let me spray spider killing spray in my car since I'm pregnant. He's probably right about that but I'm so afraid of that thing! I've read lemon essential oil will repel spiders. Anyone have experience with that? It'd make my car smell amazing, too. Problem is I'd have to get in the car to drive to get it.

 

[doggylover]

Littlespy I feel your pain. Very similar incident, ended up with the spider IN MY HAIR. I have never fully recovered!

Appantly conkers repel spiders. Or so I've been told a billion times this month!!

My bump has grown massively in the last few days! It's a proper bump now!

And oh, baby is kicking right now!!!