April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[melissasbump]

Doggylover Im sooo with you on wardrobe sickness! More so probably as ive worn all this maternity stuff last time round! Im so loath to buy anything else though as this will be my last pregnancy and just got to get through a few more months. I may buy a couple of jumpers in the new year sales, but other than that im content to walk round like a bag of crap for a few months lol

As ive said before re your friend i really hope you get close again even if its after you have had the babies, its lovely to share those special moments with a friend who is going through the same, my friend and me have boys 3 weeks apart and although it was her 2nd and my 1st it was really nice and still is for both of us as well as the boys.

Yes had a whirl round downstairs with the tandem. Its wicked!

 

[melissasbump]

UKgirl, i so feel for you , it must be so hard, although i havent been in your situation i do know the court system and CPS (Im a police officer) so i know how hard the whole court scenario is, let alone when it concerns your own children. ((hugs))

 

[maybesoon]

Thank you ladies.... This has been an ongoing issue with dh & me. I completely believe it's a (get my way) tactic. The dh was letting the kids (both of them) sleep in our bed while we were separated. He allowed them to do this every single night then & even before we got married. When we first talked about getting married I told him the kid in the bed situation had to change. That was part of our issues many which led to the fight that led to him kicking me out. The kids would get up every night & come get in our bed to the point where I was getting no sleep at all because I was getting pushed off the bed. I asked him over & over & over again to take them back to their beds when the would do this. He was drinking to the point where I couldn't get him awake to deal with them. When we spoke about me moving back in, one of the conditions was that he would enforce them sleeping in their beds. Every night since Sunday the 5yr has been asking dh to sleep with him. Dh tells him no & the next thing I know he has wet his bed & in ours. Last night I even mentioned to dh that maybe he needs to take him to the doctor. Dh says "no". But I have spoken to the 5yr olds mom & dh's mom & they don't have this issue so that's why I think it's an "I'll get my way" type thing & it's working. And I just have NO patients for crap like that. So tonight I am going to sit the dh down & we are going to discuss this situation & if he won't address the issue nightly then I will.....

 

[ukgirl23]

it's so hard to do what is best for Connie and Lucas and give their dad fair time with them, It's all really time management and fitting everything in for the best of everyone involved. I just want the best for them but it just getting that for them without looking like an utter bitch face. It's stressful mainly but luckily last time I went the judge was very understanding and seemed to agree with my views and CPS spoke in court to say they had concerns and that I had done my best to give him contact but he's using it to continue abusing me and controlling my life.

The hardest thing is when you have been abused in a relationship for 6 years and you're so used to giving in and scared of what the other person will do to punish you if you go against them that when you actually have the chance to say no to him it is very difficult to stand in their face and say no. I know this wont be the end, I know after court he'll pick a fresh battle and until Connie and Lucas are old enough to decide for themselves what they want and see him on their own hands I'll never be free from him. He's been fighting me now for almost 7 years, 12 if you include our relationship into it. I've seen women who get harrassed even after 20 years of being apart. I hope that wont be me, until my kids are older though I have to play the court game but I wish he would think about the effects it has on our kids rather than just trying to punish me.


as for the clothing issue I'm a SAHM so I don't mind what I wear, I have a few nice tops which I mix with jeans and I'm good to go, I have one night dress I got for court from newlook which is lovely for parties too. The one thing that annoys me is that I can not find a maternity coat ANYWHERE. What do they think pregnant women do in the winter??? :/ xx

 

[ukgirl23]

maybesoon pampers do dry nites pj pants, they are pjs that are absorbent so if little dude has an accident the sheets dont get wet, you can just change his dry nites and put him back to bed that way he is not getting his way into your bed and he might stop doing it. xx

 

[maybesoon]

ukgirl.... I hate that you are in that situation.... It's really hard. My ex-husband was so the type that would make my life a complete hell if he didn't get what he wanted when he wanted. And the point where I started standing up to him was pure HELL!!! It's almost like they have nothing better to do then sit around & find ways to make everyone as miserable as they are.

 

[maybesoon]

ukgirl.... Thank you soooo much!!! I'm going to look for some today!!!!!

That will be a blessing!!!

 

[LittleSpy]

Melissa -- Yes to the bumpache after lots of activity. I don't remember that so early last time, either! I do remember lots of regular but light BH contractions when I exercised heavily starting about this time with Maisie, though. Anytime I would jog on the elliptical or walk more than a couple miles, they'd start and the frequency of them would freak me out.

On that note, I've gotten some BH contractions from hell over the last week or so. Not quite as bad as the ones I had every 5-10 minutes for over 2 weeks while in false-labor before dd1 was born, but way stronger than anything I experienced until about 36 weeks with her. Luckily it's only one random one at a time, but seriously? I shouldn't be having to close my eyes and pause in order to breathe through BH contractions at 22 weeks! Of course, in the scheme of real contractions, they're very mild and I'm being a wimp. But 20 more weeks of it (please for this baby to not actually stay in there 20 more weeks ) with them getting worse scares me a little.

Also, someone at work who I haven't told I'm pregnant said something to me today. Actually, she straight up said, "Hey Julie, how are you? When is your baby due?" So, she was quite confident blatantly asking. I feel better thinking that I look pregnant now and not just hugely fat.

 

[ukgirl23]

no problem maybesoon I think pampers to dry nites sheets as well. Good job you stood up to your ex and got away. xxx

 

[maybesoon]

ukgirl.... It wasn't easy & it was after 8 long years & multiple hospital trips before I finally got the nerve up to leave. Then even after I was gone he continued to mess with me. They can't stand with you leave. It was really hard for a very long time. And I still work in the same tiny little town as we lived so I run into him pretty often. But now it's easier. Luckily for me though we didn't have any kids together. I mean I raised his two kids for years from the ages of 3 & 4 to 11 & 12. They will be 13 & 14 next year & I still talk & text with them.... They absolutely hate their father & I'm sure if not this next year then the year after they will be refusing to visit their dad at all. But the thought of losing them was one of the hardest things I faced with deciding to actually leave him.

 

[Mommabrown]

Hey ladies. I just woke up after 17 hours of sleep and feel ok so far. Haven't ate yet but i thought i would stop in to tell you i am feeling a bit better. DH stayed home and has taken care of me and i give him huge props for cleaning up after me and caring for me the way he has. I feel so lucky to have him in my life.

I wanted to leave you with a quote ladies that are going through a difficult time. It has helped me through out this whole custody battle and even though it isn't over i feel that i have gained a bit of strength from it...... “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

We all have something pushing against us we just have to push through it. I love all of you ladies and feel so blessed to have you here for me also.

 

[nimbec]

Mommabrown fx that you are on the mend!!!

So sorry you ladies are having such a tough time with x's and custody I'm thinking of you and hoping eventually the judges will see you are in the right!!!!!

Just a quick update on me: luckily when I was hooked upto the pacing machine my heart did its funny thing so they got a good print out on the ECG. I'm so pleased as I didn't want them to think I was imagining it!! So I won't bore you with the details but I'm now hooked up to a recording device until Monday so they can watch what is happening. It's not a fault with my pacemaker it's something new my heart is doing - possibly just pregnancy related - hopefully!! I will know Tuesday what the plan is. I'm guessing this means ill def be having my early section anyway as long as me and bubs are ok ill be happy!!! I'm home as it a mobile unit attached to me and I have to press a button and write a diary when I feel odd!

Hope everyone is ok.

 

[melissasbump]

Mommabrown that is immense sleep! Glad you are feeling a little better and that OH is looking after you. xx

Nimbec, Sorry to hear you are hooked up to a machine but glad they are monitoring you and hope its not too serious. Sorry it doesnt look like you will be getting the birth you want but trust me a section isnt too bad and like you say main thing is that you and little man are healthy xx

 

[maybesoon]

Mommabrown.... Great to hear you are feeling better. Hopefully you will be back to 100% soon! Woohooo for the hubbs for taking care of you! Thanks for the quote. It really says a lot in just a few words. I too feel very blessed to have you and the rest of the ladies here with me. Without all of you to hear me rant & vent I'm not sure I'd have made it this far.

 

[maybesoon]

nimbec.... My mom has gotten to wear one of those lovely monitors a few times... Hope they get it all figured out & it's nothing that can't be fixed easily. Hang in there, I know they are a real pain in the rear. Take care of yourself & lo.

 

[doggylover]

Mommabrown glad to hear you are feeling better and that oh has been taking care of you well!

Melissa, most of the maternity clothes I have are actually hand me downs (or across since they will go back?!) from my SIL and I feel a bit weird wearing some of them as they are just so HER. I think I need to get more....but I never seem to find anything anywhere! And I think when my friends baby arrives she will be glad of the support, so hopefully I can be there for her when she needs me.

Littlespy, glad your bump is looking bumpy! I love it when people ask who don't technically know! A woman at my church asked me last week, and I was so proud of my bump for doing a great growing job!!!

Nimbec I'm glad that your heart did its thing when you were at hospital. Nothing worse than going to a dr for something (eg a terrible cough) and it not cooperating when you are there and you end up looking like a hypochondriac! Hopefully come Tuesday they will know what's going on in there. And if you do have to have a section, at least you know it'll be because its best for our little man.

Afm, just back from dinner with my family. My dad couldn't believe how much I ate! I didn't realise I was eating more!

 

[nimbec]

Thanks everyone!!!

I'm eating LOADS too! Can't seem to stop craving stuff, not always healthy either!

Night all

 

[kirstabelle]

Mommabrown glad you are starting to feel better!

Nimbec, that's good that they are taking your concerns seriously and are going to figure out what's going on and keep you and baby safe.

Melissasbump, we only had two boy names we liked and one of them was Lucas. Love that name! I also really like Olivia for a girl, and adore the nickname Liv. So pretty!

Maybe Soon your scan is nearly here! How exciting! That naughty little baby better show off the goods this time

Little spy I get those light contractions now too. I feel the tightening and release in my belly but it only seems to hurt if I already have some back pain or round ligament pain going on. The combination of the things together legit hurts. So if you're a wimp, then me too!

I guess I have been lucky on the clothing front. Most of my pants and some dresses still fit and I got a lot of maternity t's and tanks to use for layering with sweaters and cardigans as I can still wear a size bigger of regular sweaters. I did get some maternity tunic/dress things to wear with mat leggings and I just ordered a couple of plain black maternity dresses last night for work. I figure at some point here I will have to get some pants at least. And probably a winter coat. Trying to hold off as long as possible because I hate spending money on clothes I can only wear for a few months when we need so many other things for baby. I think the only annoying thing about the clothes is that I have to wear the support band at work and it makes my bump lumpy and oddly shaped so I can't really wear my cute little snug bump shirts. But it has helped heaps with my back pain, so can't really complain.

Customers at work have been noticing my bump now and won't let me carry their bags etc, especially men. Men won't let me lift anything, even light things. Ironically the time I wish people would have let me sit on the bus and carry things for me was during first tri when I felt wretched, but if they want to make up for it now I'll just have to let them

 

[ReadytoMum]

doggylover: I feel your pain on the marking! My class started group presentations today.... GROAN. Some of them were pretty terrible. One more day of them to sit through on Tuesday and then I get to try and mark them. A bit of a break after that though till their final on the 19th.

Louise: Welcome!! Join the party. I'm due on April 25th!

nimbec: Hopefully they can sort out what's going on and get things taken care of for you. Just try to take it easy and relax a little bit.

maybesoon: when kids revert back to previous behaviour it's often a sign of stress. It happens all the time at the daycare... it might be because he knows you're having a new baby and now that he's not allowed to sleep with daddy he's getting worried that he's being replaced. I know it's got to be really frustrating for you, but the issues with you and DH have an impact on the kids too, and they don't have the same level of coping skills that adults do. If DH isn't willing to talk to him, maybe you should take him out for a treat one day, just the two of you, and talk to him yourself. Ask him how he's feeling about the situation. Explain what's going on with the new baby, and how you're going to need him to be a big helper etc. Empowering younger kids is one of the best ways to help stop bad behaviour that's based on attention seeking. He probably knows that wetting the bed on purpose is wrong, but he might not see how else he can get the attention he's worried about losing. So you need to help him get it in a positive way. If you really want to work together as a family, it might be better if you talk to him anyway rather than trying to make DH do it if he's not willing. Otherwise your just continuing the seperation of "me" and "the three of them."

AFM, has anyone else noticed that their feet are swelling already?! I went to try on my winter boots that I bought new last year, and neither pair fits! I couldn't believe it. I hadn't really been paying attention to it, but after the boots I noticed that at the end of the day I have a pretty deep line where the top of my socks has been digging into my leg. I guess I need to try and find some time to put my feet up a little more often.

 

[LittleSpy]

Readytomum, my feet don't swell, but they get longer! Hardly any of my shoes fit at all anymore. In 1.5 pregnancies, I've gone from a size 8 to a 9.5. And they won't ever shrink back! The pregnancy hormone Relaxin relaxes all kinds of stuff, including the ligaments in feet sometimes, causing them to get longer and/or wider. Just more shit no one tells you about pregnancy.