April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[ukgirl23]

doggylover I let Connie CIO lol.. I had to!! She would only settle if we took her for a walk in her buggy at 10pm or out in the car!! omg it was horrendous. The thing my health visitor told me is that even from very early on they know how to play you and get what they want. MY daughter knew that if she screamed I would feel bad and pick her up. I eventually took the CIO advice but i would go in after 30 seconds so she could see I was still there, then a minute, then 2 minutes, increasing the time until she fell asleep. I had 2 long nights of screaming then on the third night she was asleep within the hour and from then on she slept almost straight away. Of course when she was teething I comforted her or when she sick. But it's not damaging to babies to cry a little, the first night was terrible she cried for HOURS it was the hardest thing I've ever done but it saved my sanity and in the long run it was much healthier for me and for Connie to be getting decent amounts of sleep x

 

[Steph82]

Mommabrown and Maybe I am the same way! Hate all the sports rooms! I am so jealous of all the choices they have for girls. WIth a boy you are really limited on 2 or 3 things (or so it seems lol). I/ We have decided that the nursery will be red/white/black and grey for the bedding, carpet and accent colors. I will just try to find things in those colors for decorating. My grandma is coming from Germany in February and she is planning to make the blanket, curtains, and cushion covers for the glider. That way I can make sure I get my colors. Maybe I can get her to also make me some various other things

Like most of you ladies, we are in a 2 bedroom appartment and I will be throwing out most of my office (in the den), to make room for the dining room table. That way the second den is clear for the "play area" and the 2nd bedroom is clear for the nursery. I think this weekend I will tackle throwing out anything that I don't need anymore (out of the closets). No point in hoarding all this stuff anyway . I still have all my school books from University (I graduated in 2006 ).

 

[kealz194]

Congrats on team pink sparklegirl and the nursery looks fab! X

 

[melissasbump]

Evening ladies, sorry not been posting much but ive been trying to catch up!

UKgirl sorry you had such a horrible experiance at court, glad you have got a new solicitor too as your old one didnt sound up to much! Good for you for standing up for your kids though! Hope the meeting goes well next week!

Sparkle congrats on team pink yay!

Loving all the nursery talk! Doggylover you made me laugh talking about us "pros" who have done it before so know what and when to do things. lol
Our nursery is staying the same as it was for DS which is precious bear theme (neutral) And then in a couple of year we shall give it an overhall. Also remember that most of you wont have the babies in the nursery to start with, i understand the need to get all done though as i was the same.
At the mo we are doing Harrisons new room, its a jungle theme, the walls have been painted and he has new carpet, the furniture is being put together at the weekend so then i can have a sort out of all his clothes and other bits.

My bump is huge and the last few days ive had a lot of pressure down below and lots of high kicks so wondering if this baby is head down already, the pressure is really intense at times, dunno how he/she will stay in for another 15 weeks!
I took a pic of my bump yesterday will post it in a bit x

 

[melissasbump]

Sparkle, love the nursery and bump pics!

Doggylover, re the CIO I love the way people who havent been in the desperate situation that drives some people to try it, are so judgemental.
We never had to do it with Harrison as a young baby but sometimes now he tries it on and letting him cry for a few mins is the only way to get him to sleep during the day.
I always said that if i was in a situation where nothing else worked then id def give it a go.

 

[melissasbump]

My nearly 24 week bump

 

[Sparklegirl]

My nearly 24 week bump
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love the bump hun

 

[kealz194]

Lovely bump Melissa!!! I do try to let Paige CIO but I struggle with it! Lol she really pulls on my heart strings! I've had a big of a crap day myself! My kitchen is a state as I've had a lot of pain with hips and back today oh got home late for work and is taking his time with clearing it for me! Paige has been so needy and crying over everything today I just feel like I've had enough! Can't even have a cry to myself in the the bathroom coz Paige is outside the door screaming for me! I need a holiday! Alone...! Me and oh are not doing so well at the moment and I don't really know how much more I can take of him... Sigh sorry I'm just really feeling it today!

 

[ukgirl23]

gorgeous bump melissasbump!!!

Sparklegirl I love the nursery xx

 

[ooSweetPea]

My whole theory on CIO is LIVE AND LET LIVE. What works best for some families doesn't work well for others - but some people refuse to believe that any way but THEIR way is what is 'right'. Aggravating!!

I will say that we use a form of CIO - however didn't start until DS was almost a year old. I rocked him to sleep every night before that while giving him his night time bottle (which I would prob be ripped apart for too on that thread LOL) and put him down asleep. Some woman said I made a rod for my own back doing that but I WANTED to rock him and it was our special time each evening. Anyhow - I wouldn't leave him to cry for hours but the main thing was NOT picking him up and bringing him out of the nursery - and that was tough. But literally like three nights in he just laid down and went to sleep and has done so ever since, mostly.

I will say that even at DS's age he can be manipulative - if I put him down and he cries nine times out of ten ill go in after a couple mins and he'll instantly stop and say 'play?' heartbreaking but then I know in my head he's fine and not really crying for any reason. Usually I just give him 'the look' and another kiss and leave and then he lays down!

 

[ukgirl23]

I agree to live and let live I am just saying that CIO isnt dangerous or harmful to children. I rocked Connie to sleep for the first few months too she slept in my room next to my bed so I knew she was safe and I kept going in to check on her and let her know I was still around

I agree that what works for some women doesn't work for others. I also think it is important to hear other people's views on subjects. At the end of the day you have to live with your kid and do what is right for your own family. My child is grumpy the day after if she hasn't had enough sleep the night before so CIO was the perfect solution for us, we were told it wouldn't take more than 3 nights and she was right if it had taken longer I would have stopped. As I said though in the long term it was more beneficial for us becuase Con was happier during the day and learned to self sooth too

 

[LittleSpy]

So I read the natural parenting forum, and a girl asked a question about letting kids cry it out. Basically her problem is she doesn't like it, her SIL is staying over Xmas and does let her baby CIO and what should she do?
I said that it would different if her SIL was beating her kids, but this is just a different parenting style and its hard to tell people their way is wrong, and everyone's parenting needs to be respected. Someone else replied saying that, in her opinion, leaving a child to CIO is THE SAME as whacking them with a belt.

CIO is such a touchy subject and I think it's because, from conversations I've had with others and things I've read, there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about it. And I think there are different levels of it, too, I guess. And there are also a ton of overly dramatic people on the interwebs. It's not your baby. They're not being harmed (not physically and arguably not even potentially emotionally, depending on the situation). Get over it, is my opinion on that.

Our pediatrician suggested an absolutely unacceptable form of CIO (for me) when my dd was only 2 months old and that just turned me off of CIO in general because at that point (and even now), I had a very strong emotional reaction to my baby crying (I'm sure PPD didn't help). She told me to make sure her needs were met, and then to put her down and walk away and let her cry. Period. There is no way I was going to be able to do that with 1)the kind of person I am (very high-strung!) and 2) the stubborn baby I had. I wasn't comfortable with that in any way in our situation. But there are probably baby/parent combos that it would have worked out well for. My emotions wouldn't allow it. I couldn't stand being away from her when she was crying, even if hubby had her. It was a really strong drive for me and I can't explain it. It doesn't mean I think someone else is less of a mother because they don't have that same visceral reaction, though. My husband accused me of being effing insane about it many, many times (thanks, hun, that really helps the PPD ). And yes, I did spend hours and hours and hours rocking her while she screamed at me getting her to sleep every night until she was about 10 months old and could walk and I could easily distinguish between a cry and a fuss. That's when I became more comfortable with fuss-it-out. I often started trying to get her down around 8.30 and wouldn't get her to sleep enough to put in the crib until 1-2am. And then she'd wake up to eat again around 3-4am. And then I had to get up for work at 7.00am. Walking dead for a year (OMG, why am I doing this again?! ). I probably caused myself a lot of grief doing it the way I did but it was the only thing I was comfortable with and I'll probably do it again if I have another baby with the same personality as dd.

I think most people who claim CIO really just do fuss it out (FIO). Most people I know who say they do CIO do not let their babies lie there and cry unattended for hours which is what people get in such a huff over CIO about. Most of them WILL let their babies fuss for a while, though (like we do sometimes now at nap time and like Melissa just said they do with ds). If the fuss turns into a cry, they (I) go tend to them immediately. .

 

[LittleSpy]

sweetpea -- people gave me a hard time about rocking dd to sleep, too! Like you, I WANTED to do it! Sometimes I didn't want to do it as long as I had to to get her to sleep but I much preferred even that over the alternative. She sleeps like a dream now (since about 13 months)! Maisie is extremely manipulative. She started temper tantrums at 7 months trying to get what she wanted (and they've never worked for her but she still does it 10 months later. They've just gotten more forceful and elaborate which can be funny sometimes, actually. It's very obvious, at least for her, when she's just whining/making herself cry to get what she wants and when she's actually upset. Maybe it takes one of her parents to see the difference but we know immediately. Her grandmothers, on the other hand... ).

Melissa -- LOVE your bump!!

 

[ukgirl23]

I couldn;t leave my baby to cry to hours on end either littlespy I read in a parenting magazine that babies cry because when you're gone they dont understand that you're coming back so if you re enter the room after a few seconds and increase the gap between checking on them then you show them that you always come back too. I used to sit outside the bedroom door with a magazine trying to read and not go back in until the stop watch time was up! lol

 

[ukgirl23]

people told me that co-sleeping would cause me lotd of future problems but I co-slept with both kids and no issues when moving them from my bed to their own room, well maybe a few nights of whinging but other than that we were all good

 

[LittleSpy]

We cosleep with Maisie most nights and she naps in her crib. If we decide we want her out of the bed one night, she has no problem adjusting. The cosleeping is really for our benefit over hers. I thought it was just me, but when I told hubby two weeks ago that I was going to start putting her in the crib every other night, he started making up excuses every night that she was supposed to be in the crib! She's only slept in the crib one night since I said we'd make the change. We didn't really start the cosleeping until she was over a year old, though. I've mentioned here before, we're definitely sidecarring the crib for #2. Haha, we may not need a 2nd crib afterall. Just let Maisie sleep between us and Deucey sleep in the crib next to the bed. My main concern with that is Deucey keeping Maisie awake, though. I think it's one of those things we'll have to determine when the time comes. I'm definitely getting Maisie used to sleeping in the crib in her room more often than not before baby comes, though. She has no problem switching between the two right now but I don't want cosleeping to become what she expects. I certainly don't want there to be any association between new baby and being kicked out of mommy and daddy's bed.

 

[ooSweetPea]

Uk I totally agree you do what is best for your situation!

Little I never heard it called FIO but that is pretty much what we do at our house! I will have to steal your wording for future use I always loved rocking DS to sleep and looking back have no regrets doing so even though I was told many times that I'd regret it. I also agree on knowing real cry vs I want my way cry! Sometimes it's hard not to laugh at the tantrums when it's over something so ridiculous... for instance DS always has a cow over holding his own popsicle. I will usually put him in a highchair and let him go to town and make a huge mess but later in the evening when I have one to help queasiness he gets soooo mad when I won't let him hold it and run around the living room - I offer him to take bites but he refuses and gets so angry! I know I am a bad mommy eating a popsicle in front of him before bedtime but I try to share and he wants no parts of it unless he can hold it himself - argh!

 

[ooSweetPea]

Also have to add my rant for the day - right after work I am going to a work Christmas party and honestly this week feels like it has been so long and tiring and I just want to go the hell home! I get along with everyone for the most part but some people drive me up a wall and I just want to start my weekend and not deal with their shit ANYMORE this week. And after hearing about the school shooting today (18 kindergartners dead at last count) in Connecticut all I want to do is go home and cuddle DS - and maybe even let him run around with a popsicle! Count your blessings girls

 

[melissasbump]

Sweetpea, heard about that shooting on the news, absolutely awful, honestly what makes someone do something like that?

 

[ukgirl23]

haha littlespy your OH sounds funny, I imagine Aaron would be the same, he's not my son's daddy but this week while Luke's been ill Aaron has been making excuses to have him in our bed and during the night randomly takes his temp haha! Isn't it funny how men can be so loving while trying not to show it!

When I was pregnant with Lucas I started putting Connie in a toddler bed, I'm not sure I remember how old you said Maisie is but if you start putting her in the crib more now she wont feel so shocked and sidelined when baby gets here, I got Connie nice new bedding too and made her bed all special with those cruddy glow in the dark stars and fleecy throws etc, she loved it and wanted to sleep there more often. She did have nights where she crept into my bed though... infact she was sleeping in bed with me at the exact moment my waters broke hahaha!! poor Connie!!