April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[Mommabrown]

It actually isn't as bad as you would think Sarah...I can cook carrots for dinner and get her carrots cooked and pureed at the same time! My SIL gave us her baby bullet and i can say it has done wonders for us and is much easier than using a regular blender! I am thinking we might give yogurt a try too!

 

[ukgirl23]

well we are home from hospital. Benson has to continue on the boob while we wait for a lactose test to be done. I have to stay dairy and soy free and at 6 months he is going to get a skin prick allergy test to check that way too.. If he is lactose intollerant I have to stop bfing and put him on special formula if not then I have to stay dairy and soy free until he gets his skin prick test. I can wean at 4 months no sooner and all his food must be dairy and soy free until after his tests.

me and Aaron are totally off with eachother today it sucks!

 

[ukgirl23]

I usually just mashed potato carrots or bananas with a fork until the chunks were gone. No need for the blender xx

 

[Steph82]

@ breakfast boob Candy! I shall refer to it as that, from now on lol!

As for snackers: I have made a realization...
Grayson prefers small meals more often, over large meals 3 hours apart. I used to leave 4-5 oz bottles while at work and the three bottles never seemed enough (of course he never really finished the big bottle either but no one told me). Yesterday I packed him 4 x 3oz bottles for the 9 hours I'm gone. It was perfect for him!! He likes to eat small meals. I'm guessing that BF babies don't usually take in more then 2-3 oz and therefore want to eat more often. I'm sure he could get more, if he nursed longer or switched sides, but he has no interest in that. Why would he, if he knows he will get more boob at the drop of a hat

Shell I'm doing ok, thanks for asking. Our talk went as expected... He still had no answer for me and said he just feels like "something" is missing but he can't put his finger on it. He did say, that maybe it's just his current situation/depression, that is causing this confusion. Either way, I feel like I deserve more out of a relationship. I want to feel loved and beautiful and all that. He has never been one to do that. I take care of Grayson's health insurance and college savings... I run the household and organize daycare for the baby... I'm trying to buy a house, to make sure the baby has a safe environment to grow up in... I take care of the dog ( which he tells me is MY dog, since we didn't buy him together). I'm just exhausted and done. Since I'm doing everything by myself anyway, I may as well open myself up, to eventually meeting someone new. Don't get me wrong, these were all things I knew, before we got together (it was the main reason I never wanted to get married), so I can't hold it against him. BUT if I am then told, that he is not sure about HIS feelings, then what am I trying to hold onto?
I plan to buy a house by myself (which he was upset about 2 weeks ago when I told him ... He doesn't know if he wants to be with me, but wants to buy a house while he has zero financial ability to do so?!? Right! ). I have given him the option to move with us, into the 3rd bedroom and be a roommate. I figured he would be relieved, that I was giving him an "out", without making him the bad guy! I was wrong lol. He was upset about that as well . He later told me, that he is just upset, because he has a perfect family in front of him, but can't make it work.
Like I mentioned before, we don't fight or argue, we already live like roommates. They only difference would be, that he would be in the other room and we could eventually date other people.
Sorry for the verbal diarreah lol. I don't talk to anyone about this, because we still pretend like everything is fine. It's nice to be able to vent!

Shell, what are your plans for another LO? I know you guys were going to start trying but if you want to do school, do you plan on waiting?

 

[Mommabrown]

Steph, i know how you feel. I think it maybe that he is depressed...Allen gets depressed really easily and it always takes a huge toll on our relationship. I am sure he is also very upset that as a MAN they see it that they should be the sole provider and since you are doing all the providing and caring for Grayson he feels completely useless. But your right you deserve so much more out of him because your well being is also a huge part of how Grayson sees his everyday life. I remind Allen of this daily that our children are watching us and we are molding them into what they will be in the future. I would like to think that no matter what if you truly love someone you are willing to figure out what that 'missing thing' is and fix your relationship rather than let an amazing thing go. I am so amazed that you are buying a home and willing to let him come stay with you. That is so amazing and wonderful that you care enough for him to be able to be in Graysons life. Some people now days just can't get along if they aren't together even for the sake of their children. It has been 9 years since my divorce and I can't even get along with my ex for the sake of my life...even though I have truly tried.

Allen doesn't really help with Emmaleigh much...nor has he really ever but he is the one that works and I stay at home to take care of the house and the kids. Lately we have been in these awkward moments over having another baby....I never wanted to really jump back in to have another and told him so while i was pregnant with Emme. But he wants one so badly and when I applied back to school I told him that I would like to put any Baby making ideas on hold so that I can go to school and remain focused with the amount of time I have. I dunno if it is that I am going back or that he will have to step up and be a Dad to her while I am gone or what but he seems rather agitated about the whole situation at the moment.
I looked into Daycare and it is 220.00 a week for her to be there from 7 am to 3 pm Monday - Friday So we can not afford that at all so he has to keep her on his days off which are Tuesday, Weds, Thurs. and me take most of my classes these days and if needed to take night classes on Mondays and Fridays so he can watch her when he gets home. I am really pushing for a couple of online classes also so maybe i won't have to be at the college all the time and can be home with Emme.

 

[ukgirl23]

Steph it sounds like he is hurting a lot and he sounds also very indecisive. He wants a family with you and he wants it to work if he didnt he wouldnt be so uoset about it. I personally feel like he is depressed and needs to figure out what he wants for himself. I understand how you feel abiut not feeling beautiful. Aaron isnt the cheesy romantic type either and sometimes us ladies need to hear how awesome we are. I hope that he can take your offer of room mates for Grayson's sake. Do you have a spare room you can move into in the meantime while you gys work through it? who knows maybe a bit of distance emotionally will kick him into touch xx

 

[Steph82]

Thank you ladies
Yes, he has even said, that he is depressed. I just don't know how to help him . I already feel rejected enough as it is and don't have the energy to now work on him feeling better while not getting anything back?!? I don't know if that makes sense at all. He is a good guy and always has been. He's a great da and does whatever I ask of him (though it annoys me, that I even have to ask). On a relationship level, he is just not giving me what I need and I have told him this over and over. He can't seem to get himself together enough to fix anything.
Right now we are in a two bedroom condo, so no room for him to get out of the way. And again... No fighting or arguing, so I guess there hasn't been any urgency to be apart. Him moving out at this point, would do more harm IMO. Now he gets to be part of Grayson's day and night routine. I don't want to take that away from him or the baby.
When Grayson wakes up in the morning and sees Rob, it's one huge smile/laugh fest!! I won't take that away from either of them, just because I want attention.

Shell, I think you can def make school work around Allen's schedule! I'm sure he is just feeling a bit threatened, by you going back to school. He will get used to the idea! Just take a few classes each semester and it will work out great.
Daycare here is 245/month ! No point in going to work, when you have more then one child
You guys are both still so young... Still plenty of time for another LO when your done with your degree (if you still want another one at that time).

 

[Mommabrown]

Poor guy. It has to be hard for him. Did he ever find another job? Maybe he needs to pick up a hobby or something. I agree it isn't hurting him to be there. How long has he been this way? I would maybe take a day off and just go out and spend a day with him being completely spontaneous and seeing how you guys end up. I love it when Allen just drops things and runs away with me. . .no worries...no thinking about whats going on...just me and him having fun...it also helps me to understand whats really bothering me in the first place. Who knows what will happen...its just a suggestion.


I am also sure Allen may feel threatened but it would be easier if he just really talked with me about it. What is with men and talking about their feelings?. He is one of 9 kids!!!!!!!!!!! He wants a big family and I am one of 3 girls so I thought 4 was perfect....I dunno I don't want Emme being left out and alone since there is a big age gap between the older 3 either. I figure maybe one more but I doubt anytime soon.

 

[doggylover]

Steph, I'm sorry to hear that Rob still isn't sure about what he wants, but he can't expect you to hang around while he figures it out. If he is depressed that is really awful, but again, he can't expect you to take all the responsibility and ignore you while he figures out if he does or does not want a relationship. I think the plans you have for you and Grayson for the future are great, and IMO if he wants to fit into that, you've given him the option to do so. I think you've done all you can, as much as that sucks. But you have to focus on you and Grayson. Although sounds like you're doing a great job of that anyway!

I can't believe childcare is so expensive!! Steph, who watches Grayson for you during the week?
Luckily I have nothing to worry about, what with my whole lack of job situation luckily my family are so flexible that if I do get another job Isabelle will be well catered for for free. Simon is usually off on Tuesday, my parents would take her the other days, and I'm actually sure if I needed her to, my SIL would also take her one day a week. Im Very blessed.

Shell, why does Allen want another baby if he's not even overly helpful with the one he has atm?!?! I think that your nursing degree is a great opportunity for you, and you are totally right to tell him you need to do it and wait for a baby. Plenty of baby years ahead once you are done!

I wish I had something new to share....I do not...

 

[doggylover]

Also, steph, I'm sure that Isabelle is the same as Grayson in the snacking department. The kid eats every two hours (maximum- unless we are out in the car/pram) but only eats a little bit, maybe for around 5mins. I think that's the issue we now have at night, she is snacking before bed rather than the proper feed she used to take, so hungry again sooner, snacks again etc. she only takes both breasts before bed. Actually, she will take the second breast always but just suck, not eat!!
So yeah, a snacker over here!!

 

[Mommabrown]

Sarah to be honest I don't know why he does? I think it is because he is feeling empty since we are sharing Laurynn and Brandon and them not being here all the time like they have been the last 8 years. But that is me guessing so maybe because he is a mad man!

I wish my family was more dependable or Allens were closer. His family is amazing and really seem more like we have been family forever rather than me being an In law. I envy you for having such a great support system!

 

[Steph82]

Again, thanks ladies for letting me vent and the advice/words of encouragement! As if right now, we have reverted back to ignoring the whole subject and going on about our day . Shell, he did find a job and it seems to be going well, so I'm not sure what he is so depressed about. He mentioned something about feeling like he should be more accomplished in life, since he's always worked hard. I tried to explain, that hard work alone will not cut it.. You have to be smart about it... One thing being: stop hoping from one job to the next, hoping to make the big money. Stay with one company and work your way up. Men!!

Sarah, right now my dad watches Grayson twice a week and I have a German friend, that watches him 3 times a week. We just interviewed another lady, that runs a "home day care" and we may end up splitting the time between her and our German friend. It will still end up costing us around $1000/month, but I know Grayson will get all the attention he deserves. My mom was watching him for a while, but she got a new job. She hates that she doesn't see him all week now lol.
So snacking babies syndrome it is then!!! Grayson did sleep for a 6 hour stretch last night . I woke up to a leaking "worker boob". "Man boob" was fine of course

 

[ReadytoMum]

Hey Ladies, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been keeping up with the reading but haven't had time to sit down and write a proper post. Peter is still sick with his cold, and we've got a boat-load of family coming this weekend for Peter's Baptism, so we've been running around like crazy trying to clean and get some baking done etc. for that! I'll be off for the weekend, but Monday I'll try to sit down and reply to everyone properly!!

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend in the meantime!

 

[doggylover]

man boob was enjoying the break no doubt steph!! That's so lovely that your dad watches him at the minute, I bet he really loves doing that. A lot of people here send their kids to home day cares, and it seems to work really well, but gosh that's expensive!! Worth it for your little man though

Sarah, enjoy family time and peters baptism! I'm looking forward to some pictures of the little cutie all dressed up!

Shell, I am definitely very lucky with my family. Do Allen's family live really far away?

Afm: dinner out without Isabelle for the first time tonight. My parents watched her, we managed to have a full 3 course meal and get home again in two hours....only to find them out!! They had taken her for a drive to get some take out, and she was perfectly content the whole time with them (apparently...) it wasn't as horrific as I thought, but she still is a bottle refuser so I was jus worried about her ending up hungry and overly upset. But since we were only gone two hours....she was fine!!

 

[liams_mom]

Hi ladies, how are you? Its been a while since I've posted on the board as well! Not much new going on with me, but I'm working on lots of horsey stuff at the moment since the show season is beginning to roll to its final three months and so people are starting to hunt for their ponies which is keeping me busy.

The boys are good, Jake has been a very good little boy. He got dragged to his cousins yesterday with daddy so mommy could have a fun day with a friend. I guess he was a sweet fellah. Fell asleep on his auntie and hung out there for most of the visit, but that's better than screaming at them the entire time Liam wore his little butt out from rumbling with his two older cousins, but since he'll be starting school in the Fall I think its important that he really start getting to know how to handle other kids. We live in the country, so its very hard to have playdates without lots of traveling. Ahh well, such is the life of a mom

I think Jake is hitting the teething stage as well since he's decided that once in a while he will take a pacifier and GNAW the crap out of it and then spit it out again. He's also been rubbing at his mouth and just under his nose with vigor at times and he'll chomp down on my finger if I'm tickling his cheeks. Fortunately there aren't any teeth in there yet! Not so much drool, thank goodness, but now that I've said that he will turn into a baby fountain

I hope you are all well! xx

 

[Mommabrown]

Sarah Allen's mom lives about 2 hours away from us. The rest of his family is very scattered out across Northern Missiouri which is like an 8 hour drive. I am glad you and Simon were able to go out for dinner!!! How exciting that you are able to leave her and she be in such good hands with your mom and dad!!!! I have only left Emme once because of court and the girl that kept her drugged her up with Tylenol because she was crying and couldn't handle it. That is a large factor why I only really want Allen to keep her and not send her off to someone who is so dumb again!

Sam Awh It was so hard for me when Landon started school...i was happy but it was so sad...he cried so badly and told me he wanted me to take him home and I excited him by saying but you will get to ride the bus home...it worked and he didn't even care that I left.

afm, Allen and I had a huge arguement about him needing to get his shit together and help me more with Emme. Well he had some mean things to say and I just left him standing there and walked out and left him for a couple of hours while I took the kids for a walk. I return home and he has calmed down enough to cook dinner, he proceeds to take care of Emme so I can eat and take a hot bath to calm down and when I get out of the tub there are candles lit everywhere in our room....like something out of a movie...it was so romantic. He had put both the kids down for bed and cleaned the kitchen and even folded the laundry. It made for an amazing evening and this morning he is even acting so differently. I don't know what I said or did as we didn't even talk about the argument afterwards...but hell why didn't we have this argument long before!

 

[ukgirl23]

readytomum how was Peter's baptism? Congratulations to you all I hope his cold had shifted in time for his big day xx

Mommabrown that is amazing about Allen! Welldone him xx

Steph hopefully now he has a job he will perk up a bit and stop being suchy a whiney little pleb!! Men are stupid idiots at times they open their mouths without thinking then go around like nothings changed! I hope you and he can get back on track. Babies put a lot of strain on relationships. Hopefully as Grayson gets easier to manage. More independent ect he'll ease up a bit xx

Sorry Im not posting much I have all the kids home now for summer hokidays so we are out most of the day enjoying no school runs! Bliss!!! Enjoy this pre school time where days merge into eachother without having to do much.

Im having the coil fitted tomorrow. Thinking about it makes my uterus shudder with fear Im scared lol.

Aaron revealed tonight that after our wedding late next year he would like us to have one more baby!!! Im excited about the idea but Benson was also meant to be my last. We could manage one more Im scared of the pain!! haha x

 

[Steph82]

Awe Shell, Allen sounds like he finally "got it"! Good thing too, since you can't keep doing everything yourself!!!!! And OMG, I can't believe someone gave Em medication because she wouldn't calm down???? I would have killed the girl! NOBODY (not even Rob) is allowed to give my baby anything but BM at this time. The thought that she gave Em something (even if it was harmless) makes me so mad .

Sam, your weekend sounded wonderful! Hope you got to enjoy the horsey time and it sounds like the boys had a blast!!
You had the Mirena put in last week as well right? You having any issues? I started getting a really light period two days ago, but no cramps or supply issues, so I'm happy.

Candy, one more ?? Yay . So much for: "this is my last one"! You know what that means right???? You need more nappies, since you will be using them for the next one .

Sarah J, sounds like you guys hard a lovely dinner . I'm sure Izzy was on your mind the whole time, but it's nice that you guys got some alone time!

AFM: pretty good weekend. Did some house hunting with no success lol. Went to babysrus for some teething rings and walked out with clothes, a play mat, books, toys , and 3 different teething rings . BUT in my defense, most of it my mom bought him lol. Grayson still prefers to chew on my fingers over the rings, but as soon as a little tooth pops out, that will need to change

Funny/weird story about "man boob": Grayson was nursing from it today and he has this new game... He sucks sucks sucks, then pops off and throws his head backwards to look out the window (now with his head upside down )... So he was doing this little routine and I look down, to find that the milk kept staying out for a second . Who would have thought, that my boob have a free-flow setting ?!? No wonder this kid doesn't eat for more then 5 min, he could probably just lay back with his mouth open (and I picture him doing this with his head propped on his hands, while watching TV)! Silly boob... And silly baby!

 

[ukgirl23]

Steph Ive got Ben a few times in the eye when hes unlatched in the past lol. Water gun boobies

I dont know if I want another baby. The idea is pleasant but the reality is hard work and Ive been a SAHM for 7 years now. I really love being home with my babies but I need to be Candy again and not just mummy. I need to get into nursing soon or it may be too late

today is the day my uteruscwas dreading.... Mirena day! See you on the flip side xx

 

[Steph82]

EEkk Candy, good luck today! Dont worry, its not bad!