Attachment Parenting Group

[Shifter]

I don't normally come into the groups section so I had no idea about this group! Why did none of you tell me??!

So for those that don't know me I'm Holly, mummy to Jack (nearly 10 months) and we practice AP.

PS - I hate all that "You need to..." BS too. I had that from my HV and best friend when Jack's sleep was really bad. I don't NEED to do anything, least of all leave him screaming. Followers of my journal will know that we have had our moments and there have been times when I was just so desperate and at such a loss of how to get him to go to sleep that he has been left crying while we calm down and reset ourselves to try and offer him comfort again. It's not something I am proud of and it is something we have sworn never to do again because a) it was awful for all of us and b) only made his sleep worse!

We have had success with gentle methods though, NCSS has worked wonders and I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to help your LO form positive sleeping habits as long as you do so at their pace. But yeah, needing comfort is still definitely a need and one that should be answered

I go through periods where the only "safe" places on this forum for me are my friends' journals and there are certain places I just NEVER go any more (weaning and nutrition!!) because of the arguments I have gottn into with people.

JayleighAnn - we took Jack to an osteopath and it did help him to a certain extent. He had a lot of inflammation around the top and bottom of his spine and she thought it could be causing him pain at night. I recommend trying it out and seeing what it does for you

 

[purple_socks]

Hello Holly

come and join us in here....its safe from all the 'need to'ers!! lol

 

[Kitten]

Teehee.

 

[purple_socks]

Wheres all thr AP mummies gone? not alot of chat going on in here is there?

Kians sleep still a bit random atm...It seems that he'll go weeks with no prob then have a couple of nights of random waking then back to no probs. still not sure if its teething or SA?
We've introduced a little bath (just a mini splash in the baby bath- mostly to get all the food he managed to rub everywhere during dinner off) and a story b4 bed. I noticed as he's getting older he seems to struggle to wind down like he used to. We used to do no sort of bedtime routine and he would just go from playing to sleep and b outlike a light whenever he started showing sleepy signs but now he gets a bit wound up when we put him down to sleep and wont settle for ages. So far we've been doing the bath and story for this past week and its worked really well. He gets really excited when he sees the baby bath! and the story is working well...he just lays there gazing at me while i read...then he gets fed and is out like a light!

BTW does anyone know where to get good AP blinkies from?

 

[Kitten]

No I don't know about blinkies sorry.

I introduced a nightly bath a few weeks ago when we started blw as he made such a mess. We moved Theakston to his own room last night and I spent most the night crying, lol.

 

[Kaites]

Purple socks- I googled "attachment parenting blinkies" and found some links- some look like other forums so I won't post the links, but they are pretty easy to find. You're right- not much chatting going on here but it seems like most of us are over in the natural parenting section anyway That's great that Kian's bedtime routine is working out for you so well. I'm embarassed to say our routine so far is just cuddles on the couch while I watch TV I keep telling DH that we've got to change that- I'm thinking her 4mth birthday might be a good time to turn over a new leaf and turn off the TV, lol

Kitten- sounds like moving Theakson was harder on you than it was on him!

 

[purple_socks]

kaites: if cuddles r working 4 u then i'd say carry on! i don't think u 'have' to have a routine...don't feel pressure to change it if its working 4 u how it is.
it worked well 4 us not having one up until now (infact we tried earlier on to introduce one with a baby massage etc but it didn't go down well...i think it just wound Kian up that we were fussing with him when he was tired) I've only bought it in now because a)he's really grubby after dinner now we've started BLW and b)i think the older he's getting the more he actually plays (when he was younger he couldn't do alot so he mostly 'looked' at things) so the more he seems to need something to signify 'bedtime'.

Kitten: **big hugs**

i was alright when we first moved Kian in his room (infact i was glad not to have to b kept awake by his grunting 4 the first time in months! He's the loudest sleeper ever! He snores and everything) but recently i've been really missing him!! it sounds silly bcoz he's only in the next room but i really miss looking at him! i could sleep the other night because i couldn't stop picturing him sleeping and i had the overwhelming urge to go stare at him?!...maybe we're going through 'mummy seperation anixety'?

 

[Shifter]

^^ I've been like that recently too. I just keep getting the urge to hold him and stare at him all the time

 

[purple_socks]

sounds like we're all suffering MSA!

 

[Kitten]

Lol, he's sleeping so much better but I'm not!

 

[nkbapbt]

I feel badly...I created this group...and then took off. LOL Im sorry ladies, Ive been dealing with a ton of health issues lately. I had my gallbladder removed three weeks ago because it was packed with small stones. And now I have to have a second surgery because they missed a stone in my common bile duct! GRRRREAT!

Anyways. Im back now...sort of...my computer died on top of everything so I can only sneak onto my hubby's laptop when he isn't working on it...which is like next to never!

 

[Kitten]

Yikes, sounds nasty! Hope you recover quickly

 

[Kitten]

I'm posting this here because I'm sick of being told my baby *should* be put down awake *shouldn't* be breastfed to sleep and *should* be able to self-soothe by now. The fact is he isn't/doesn't and I can't change that, but I need to.

Basically, he starts at the childminders in 2 months and currently breastfeeds to sleep for his 2 naps a day and sleeps on me for them. He's done this since birth and I've only successfully moved him a handful of times, most times he wakes up and then either needs to be nursed back to sleep, or is awake and ratty. So I was wondering what sleep methods everyone used, if any? I'm wondering whether to buy the no-cry nap solution (we don't do so bad at nights, if he wakes daddy can usually rock/shh him back to sleep unless he genuinely needs a feed and then he goes straight back down) or whether it's just a waste of money (our libraries don't have it).

A part of me wants to start moving him onto something that I can take to the childminders (contemplating the infant to toddler rocker now I've read how to overcome the tipping problem) or attempting to walk up the stairs to the cot and put him down there. But a part of me wants him downstairs with me (but I don't know why? I guess I'm just used to him being there?). Anyway, so yeah I thought spend this month moving him onto something, and then see what happens with weaning & him dropping feeds come March and decide whether I need to start implementing some kind of sleep training type thing for the month of March to get him able to settle without help by April when I go back to work.

He's got to sleep in a bouncer before so thinking the infant to toddler rocker might be just the trick as once asleep you can recline it and it folds flat to take to the childminders but don't want to just throw money away if it's no good.

God I'm babbling now, I just don't want to be told I'm doing things 'wrong', I just want practical advice from people with similar approaches.

 

[codegirl]

I had the same problem RE: nursing to sleep. We worked a bit on falling asleep to a soother instead of me, but really didn't work at it too hard. It was amazing how quickly E adjusted when he started at the daycare. They don't rock him and I guess he goes down really well for them and not even in a crib, just in a cot. He still needs the soother and still nurses to sleep if I'm around, but if I'm not, he's just fine.

 

[kirsten1985]

I'm not totally in the same situation as you as we FF, but Freya has always fed to sleep, and it's tricky getting her into the cot when she is asleep. She starts at nursery on Monday (2 mornings a week) and I have been really really worried about how she will get to sleep there. She went for a practise morning today and somehow they put her in the cot they have (she had been awake for a long time, much longer than she would have been at home but hadn't minded) and she fell asleep all on her own for the first time ever.

I am totally surprised at how she did it, and also surprised how much she likes it there.

I hope you find something that works for you, but don't worry too much, he may just surprise you.

 

[Shifter]

I have NCSS and it has really helped us sort out the evenings but I haven't really tried doing anything about naps yet. I still BF Jack for his naps but I am able to move him to his cot. I have had some success walking him around the house in the mei tai as well, but putting him down from there proved troublesome so I went back to BFing him off. I feed him on a v-pillow, always have, so when I move him I scoop up him and the pillow and put him into his cot still on the pillow. That way he is still on a warm surface and is less aware of being moved IYSWIM.

But as others have said, you may find that he is a different sleeper in someone else's care!

 

[Kitten]

Yeah I'm hoping he just adapts. Sometimes when we've been out he's let me bounce him to sleep in a chair and stayed there so I know he can do it! Going to do a few practice runs on the weekends leaving him with OH whilst I go out or hide upstairs & do uni work to see what happens & if he'll take EBM in a cup. Thanks girls, you've made me feel a lot better!

 

[purple_socks]

Hows things going Kitten?

 

[JayleighAnn]

Kitten, if you haven't already bought it, I have it an you can have it for the price of postage. I didn't find it any help but I didn't have the patience to wait the weeks it tells you it will take. It has been written on (its got like a small diary bit) but thats it.

Halen is either fed to sleep, or shh'd and patted to sleep or has his dummy. He is "constantly attached" as everyone tells me as he's always either in a sling or on my lap. I don't want to change this so I can't help you sorry. The only reason I bought the book was to see if he would sleep through the night lol he didnt!

 

[Shifter]

I'm struggling a bit atm and figured this was the best place to post about it. As I write it is 5.40am. I abandoned any attempt to sleep at 4.20 after Jack had been awake for the fifth time tonight.

When we first moved him to his own room his sleep improved sooooo much but only for a week. Since then it has been up and down but averaged out at him waking twice a night. I was coping with that. But since we went away for the weekend and he slept in the same room as us again it has all fallen apart. Plus he had a cold this week and spent two full nights and a few extra hours here and there back in bed with me.

My mind keeps going back to that week when he was only waking once and I am so very, very desperate for some sleep. During that week we let him cry. We were at our wits end, his sleep having deteriorated to him waking every half hour and I can't help but come back to this. He slept best when we let him cry for a bit at bedtime

I really don't want to do that again. I keep saying it didn't work and was an awful thing to do, but actually it may have been working. But I feel really, really awful about doing it and feel like I let him down so badly.

I don't want to go back to co-sleeping, that was when his sleep got so bad before, he just wanted boob all night. It is way too cramped to have DH in with us and I can't have him sleep on the floor indefinitely. I don't know what to do. Is it so wrong of me to need some more sleep?!