Baby blues - how were u affected

[XJessicaX]

I cried on and off for weeks! Probably only in the last few weeks I have felt completely happy and properly bonded with LO.

 

[Al Syr]

I cried on and off for weeks! Probably only in the last few weeks I have felt completely happy and properly bonded with LO.

So then there is hope?

 

[XJessicaX]

Of course! Its just a bloody difficult time! Raging hormones and recovery pain and our lives are completely different. No matter how much we prepare for a baby I dont think any of us fully understood HOW life altering it is!

 

[Green Lady]

I'm feeling a bit better today, maybe because my hubby is off for the weekend. I think the worst part of this for me was just how unprepared I was for the emotions. I went pretty much my whole pregnancy without moodswings and the like and suddenly, here they are! Add to that taking care of an infant and it's like being hit by a truck.

Interesting thing I was reading (maybe on here) that having a traumatic labour can make things worse. Although I was technically complication-free (apart from a bad tear) my birth was really quite stressful to me and the exact opposite of what I'd planned. I won't go into details but it left me and my husband both feeling very upset and I think that's still with me, even though my little girl is perfectly healthy. It's one more thing to deal with, plus I had the stress of going two weeks overdue.

But I think it's good that we're all aware of what's happening to us; I talk with my husband about how I'm feeling and I discover he's having emotions of his own too. For me I'm just trying to take things one day at a time. I see people in the streets with happy and laughing children and I think that they must have gone through this too. It will get better, I'm sure!

 

[blondieliz]

I had a 40 hour labour and then emergency section as he was in distress. I felt like a failure (even though he was so tangled and facing the wrong way, so he wouldn't have come naturally) and was utterly and totally drained.

My baby blues hit big time on day 3, I was in tears for any reason, but mainly because I was so in love with him and was terrified something was going to happen. It was madness! Ime never felt so in love, but so utterly terrified and unable to control my emotions. Then my mom told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer and was having surgery the following week and I was inconsolable.....the worst time ever.

I a'm bit better now, but still don't feel totally right. I ask also now battling bf issues and am close to throwing in the towel....but I feel like I didn't born him naturally, so desperately want to feed him naturally. I've been giving him a 4oz top up in the evening, but the guilt I feel about it is overwhelming....I feel like I'm poisoning him!

The baby blues suck and nothing prepares you. Hugs to all x

 

[LockandKey]

I had a 40 hour labour and then emergency section as he was in distress. I felt like a failure (even though he was so tangled and facing the wrong way, so he wouldn't have come naturally) and was utterly and totally drained.

My baby blues hit big time on day 3, I was in tears for any reason, but mainly because I was so in love with him and was terrified something was going to happen. It was madness! Ime never felt so in love, but so utterly terrified and unable to control my emotions. Then my mom told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer and was having surgery the following week and I was inconsolable.....the worst time ever.

I a'm bit better now, but still don't feel totally right. I ask also now battling bf issues and am close to throwing in the towel....but I feel like I didn't born him naturally, so desperately want to feed him naturally. I've been giving him a 4oz top up in the evening, but the guilt I feel about it is overwhelming....I feel like I'm poisoning him!

The baby blues suck and nothing prepares you. Hugs to all x

I was in the exact situation as you. Nora was born vaginally, but I couldn't have her by myself like I wanted because she was such a large baby for my tiny body. I had to get an epidural, and when the time came to push she wouldn't come out. I had an assisted delivery with vacuum and forceps, a 3rd degree cut, and she was born with a broken collar bone. I felt like all that was my fault, if I had only gotten a c section I could have avoided giving my baby so much pain.

Afterwards I tried to bf her, that was a terrible time, she wouldnt feed right, on top of dealing with her broken bone. I had to hold her a certain way, and many times I would hear a pop from her broken side. It was so scary and sometimes she cried from the pain and I absolutely hated myself for doing that to her, even though the nurses said it was almost unavoidable. I couldn't even see my family or closest friends for support because we live clear across the states (I'm alone in Hawaii while they are in New York).

I have to say that I believe all my trouble with the bf was the root of all my Postpartum depression. She wouldn't suck right, she wouldn't latch or stay latched, and she much preferred the bottle over me, and I was in tears during every feeding session. Our bond was compromised because of all the trouble, the pain I was in, and I always questioned myself for deciding to have a baby (she was planned). During those first few weeks, I would also give her tops up to the point where it was several times a day because she wouldnt get enough from me, and it was the only way I could feel somewhat normal. It put her into a schedule rather than eating on and off every 10 mins all day long, yet I hated myself for doing so, and I hated the formula too. It took 4 horrible, tear filled weeks until she finally got bf right and she was gaining again. Sorry long rant

Now every thing's perfect, and I'm happy to say that she prefers me over the bottle. I've grown so accustomed to this new life that I can't even imagine going on without her. So yes, there is always hope in sight. Everyone says it goes by fast, and it really does. I can hardly picture the baby I have now as the same one who gave me so much trouble in the beginning. I know it's tough, but you will get past this so quick. Nothing stays the way it is forever

 

[Brookey]

i feel exactly the same, i had my baby 10 days ago and am in tears most days. breast feeding is so much harder than i thought it would be combined with the lack of sleep. ive tried expressing but cant really get a lot out, it takes hours. i feel like im doing everything wrong.

people warned me about the lack of sleep but nobody prepared me for the baby blues. its awful. i feel like i should be so happy because im so lucky to have a perfect baby but instead i just want to stay in bed all day and sleep. my OH is going back to work next week and im dreading it. i was actually begging him this morning to have another week off because im so scared that i wont know what to do on my own. i feel like a complete failure and very alone.xx

 

[Green Lady]

i feel exactly the same, i had my baby 10 days ago and am in tears most days. breast feeding is so much harder than i thought it would be combined with the lack of sleep. ive tried expressing but cant really get a lot out, it takes hours. i feel like im doing everything wrong.

people warned me about the lack of sleep but nobody prepared me for the baby blues. its awful. i feel like i should be so happy because im so lucky to have a perfect baby but instead i just want to stay in bed all day and sleep. my OH is going back to work next week and im dreading it. i was actually begging him this morning to have another week off because im so scared that i wont know what to do on my own. i feel like a complete failure and very alone.xx

I felt exactly the same way, but things are starting to get better now. LO still feeds through the night but I've gotten more used to it and I'm not so tired. I've felt more like a person these past couple days! No one warned me about the baby blues either and they hit me out of nowhere. I didn't want my DH to go back to work as it left me entirely on my own but we managed. The days were tough but we've fallen into a routine. Just do what you can and take care of yourself and the baby. At this age babies really just need food, a clean nappy and sleep! You'll do fine.

 

[Experiment13]

Yeah, it's the lonely feeling when OH leaves for work and it's just you and the baby. I still dread it. So excited tomorrow is Saturday. And not even sure why because we do great during the day. But there is something dreadful about nights and being left at home with LO that still gets to me. I am having my MIL come in the mornings just to take the damn edge off. I also cry about going back to work in two weeks when that dreadful morning feeling will be gone.

 

[caz_hills]

I'm so glad it's the weekend too and that my hubbie is at home with us! It's amazing that just having him here over anyone else is so much better. I asked him too to take more time off work - he has to work quite long hours and I wish to day away sometimes waiting for him to get home.

I also dread the nights, I hear my little boy stir and I think, does he want feeding and then wait up for him to wake for the feed. Hence, I'm not getting much sleep!

But since I stopped BF'ing things have got easier for me as I was emotionally not handling it. I feel guilty still but know it was best for us and express the milk now. So I think the emotions have calmed down, it's just the lack of sleep and I pray literally for the day when he starts to sleep for longer than 3 1/2 hours at a time. I know that isn't too bad compared to some babies who never sleep but I would love say 5-6 hours!

I know people say it gets easier but as a first timer, it seems sometimes that it never will!

 

[summer rain]

for me it lasted for two weeks; my youngest was 3.5 when I had this LO so had forgotten how bad it can be. I've had serious clinical depression in the past and baby blues is worse; for me in the post-natal period I feel like I have woken up in a different life; nothing seems the same and I am constantly worried something will happen to my LO. I found the only way to get through it was to remember x amount of time in the past and think wow that seems so recently; so the same amount of time in the future; when I will be over this isn't far off either.After two weeks I was completely better xx

 

[Piper84]

Thanks so much for starting this thread, it really gives me hope!

My LO is 6 days old and a perfect bundle of joy but I have such lows while I'm alone with him and DH is working. Today (Saturday) is especially hard as he has to work all day. I'm scared that my LO is so vulnerable and that fragile and that something could happen to him or DH.

For me it started after we left the hospital. We had a family room and there was always help and support if you needed it and suddenly we were on our own and DH was back at work. Added to that we don't know anyone round here and only just moved here in Feb and live in a kind of retirement home suburb where there is absolutely nothing going on.

I can't wait to get out and about again but am just wondering when I'll feel strong enough

 

[HungryHippo]

Days 2-8 have been the roughest days of my life. Day 2 started with panic attacks in the hospital. Add no sleep, no appetite and very painfully constipated. All I did was cry and ask DH if I was crazy. The hormones have now settled and I can tell the difference over crying about the baby non-stop feeding vs. the baby blues. Darn hormones!

 

[Al Syr]

Those who said "it does get better" . . . You did not lie. Things do get better, I can go into detail but it may be too much to write. Keep your heads up ladies there is a light at the end of the tunnel although we may have some hard days still here and there it will be ok.

​

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks for reassuring that it does get better! I'm 4 weeks tomorrow and it's just the tiredness now I find that is the hardest part. The up and down emotions seem to have gone now, I hope! x

 

[Al Syr]

Thanks for reassuring that it does get better! I'm 4 weeks tomorrow and it's just the tiredness now I find that is the hardest part. The up and down emotions seem to have gone now, I hope! x

Tiredness is not fun. My baby has been only waking up once in the middle of the night and then again like at 7 am so not too bad, hope I dont jinx myself. My mom showed me tips, tricks, and advice on what to do and when and I feel so much better. I am even going to cook dinner tonight! first time making dinner since he was born hehe!

 

[caz_hills]

Any tips you could share?! Sounds wonderful! x

 

[Al Syr]

Any tips you could share?! Sounds wonderful! x

Well for 5 night my mom babysat through the night and studied him apparently, or maybe it was a grandma instinct to just know. What she did was if he was fussy she would try putting him in his bouncy, laying him on a flat surface, laying him on a pillow, etc. What she found is that he like heaviness in his little legs, most of the time when i'd lay him down he would keep wiggling and wake himself up and would not let me sleep. She got a blanket and fold it four times and put it on his legs when she'd lay him down, he falls right to sleep. We also found that giving him a bath at night gets himd to sleep long periods of time. For example, if we bathe him at 9:30pm, finish by 9:45pm . . . then feed him by 10:00pm he will fall asleep after eating so maybe by like 10:20pm he will sleep for 6 hours +.

 

[Experiment13]

Al Syr, so glad you are doing better. It's funny how the fog lifts and all that confusion and pain starts seeming like a distant memory.

 

[Al Syr]

Al Syr, so glad you are doing better. It's funny how the fog lifts and all that confusion and pain starts seeming like a distant memory.

Yes, I think I had no confidence in myself. I felt like I would never leave my house, I felt trapped . . . Hopefully things will stay this way and depression does not pop up in later months.

Being tired sometimes sucks but I LOVE my tiny already 9 pound baby and he makes me so happy everyday, even when he poops and cries a little.