Baby blues - how were u affected

[Green Lady]

I think I'm going backwards. My emotions have settled but I'm really struggling to enjoy anything. I think the tiredness has really kicked me up the behind. LO has actually started sleeping *less* this past week, waking now just about every hour in the night. I try to go to bed early as she does sleep some in the evenings but it's a gamble as to whether she wakes up! She wants feeding so much we can't really leave the house and when she's not feeding she wants to sleep on my lap. It's not really even cluster feeding; she feeds for 15 minutes then drops off for an hour. I've really ceased to enjoy breastfeeding but as we're struggling to get LO to take a bottle it looks like I'm stuck with it for now.

The worst is I feel so guilty for not fully enjoying the baby I've wanted for so long. I spent years wanting a baby, then it took us nearly a year to conceive with a miscarriage along the way, then all the anxiety of pregnancy...so much to go through. I love my little girl so much but I feel so trapped by everything and wondering when this will end. Just simple things like going into town (before the rioters smashed it up ), cooking dinner or having a beer seem out of reach. I suppose it's normal, especially as I don't really have anyone to help me out with the baby, but I was never expecting to feel this way. Baby will be a month old next week and things don't seem to be changing any. I want things to be better soon!

 

[Snowball]

Started feeling it yesterday, it's getting worse today. I haven't seen another adult since Monday morning and I've been caring for 4 under 6's and keeping on top of a house since then. I'm overwhelmed, exhausted and highly emotional. Cried to ex DH on the phone yesterday which I HATE doing because he doesn't actually care.

I don't question my love for Louie at all, infact I feel under pressure to love him enough for 2 parents because he doesn't have that privilege... I think that's what's dragging me down the most. In comparison to my other 3, he's missing out and that kills me because there's nothing I can do to change it.

I haven't even got out of my pj's today, no point

 

[Green Lady]

Started feeling it yesterday, it's getting worse today. I haven't seen another adult since Monday morning and I've been caring for 4 under 6's and keeping on top of a house since then. I'm overwhelmed, exhausted and highly emotional. Cried to ex DH on the phone yesterday which I HATE doing because he doesn't actually care.

I don't question my love for Louie at all, infact I feel under pressure to love him enough for 2 parents because he doesn't have that privilege... I think that's what's dragging me down the most. In comparison to my other 3, he's missing out and that kills me because there's nothing I can do to change it.

I haven't even got out of my pj's today, no point

I've been struggling to take care of one, it must be so hard on you right now! The only thing that does make me feel better is how much I love my little girl. Take care of yourself.

 

[Al Syr]

I've really ceased to enjoy breastfeeding but as we're struggling to get LO to take a bottle it looks like I'm stuck with it for now. !

Have you tried different bottles? My baby did not like the ones we originally bought for him before he was born, I bought some Tommee Tippee bottles and he has been successfully using those for 2 weeks now. I stopped breastfeeding almost 2 weeks ago. I never wanted to breast feed and did not enjoy it. I also never wanted to leave the house because I did not want to breast feed in public. Ever since I stopped I have felt better about feeding time, to me it is so much easier to prepare a formula, I sound so selfish and I did feel horrible for discontinuing breastfeeding but I was told that a stressed out mommy was not good cause baby could feel it. Do not take this as advice to stop breastfeeding, maybe try buying new bottles expressing your milk and try feeding it to the baby in that new bottle, if you are in the UK I think that is where Tommee Tippee comes from, maybe you can try those.

 

[Green Lady]

I've really ceased to enjoy breastfeeding but as we're struggling to get LO to take a bottle it looks like I'm stuck with it for now. !

Have you tried different bottles? My baby did not like the ones we originally bought for him before he was born, I bought some Tommee Tippee bottles and he has been successfully using those for 2 weeks now. I stopped breastfeeding almost 2 weeks ago. I never wanted to breast feed and did not enjoy it. I also never wanted to leave the house because I did not want to breast feed in public. Ever since I stopped I have felt better about feeding time, to me it is so much easier to prepare a formula, I sound so selfish and I did feel horrible for discontinuing breastfeeding but I was told that a stressed out mommy was not good cause baby could feel it. Do not take this as advice to stop breastfeeding, maybe try buying new bottles expressing your milk and try feeding it to the baby in that new bottle, if you are in the UK I think that is where Tommee Tippee comes from, maybe you can try those.

We've tried Avent and NUK so far, might give TT a try later. We've been trying her on the bottle every few days but so far she has barely had drop! Just not interested. I don't want to force it on her but I'm starting to get concerned because I read some BF babies just refuse bottles. I thought to express as she might like that better but I'm thinking I might have issues with oversupply right now and I don't want to make things worse. I'm kind of caught in a trap atm.

I really wanted to BF but I've found the reality of it so hard to deal with. Maybe she will settle down and start spreading out her feeds, but when? Six weeks, three months, a year? I know I couldn't cope with that. Mind you, at this point having a baby that slept 4 hours at a time would be pure bliss! Oddly BF in public is the least of my issues, I've done it a few times and it hasn't bothered me. But she wants feeding so much it's really awkward. I never really had any plans to do extended feeding but I feel bad for wanting to give up so soon. If I could just have a little help I'd be so much better.

 

[maddog37]

Green Lady, a month of feeding already is amazing!

I only lasted 3 weeks, 2 of those were combi feeds, and my anxiety was so bad I don't remember 99% of those weeks. You're doing great!

 

[Green Lady]

Green Lady, a month of feeding already is amazing!

I only lasted 3 weeks, 2 of those were combi feeds, and my anxiety was so bad I don't remember 99% of those weeks. You're doing great!

Thank you! I do feel pride in sticking with it, I just wish now LO would let me have some other options lol.

 

[caz_hills]

Oh green lady poor you. I really feel for you - big hugs.

I don't think I can offer any great advice but I am struggling too with the lack of sleep and find it hard to do anything in the day other than feed and eat myself!

Can your health visitor or GP offer any support from the community?

Bug hugs xxx

 

[Green Lady]

Oh green lady poor you. I really feel for you - big hugs.

I don't think I can offer any great advice but I am struggling too with the lack of sleep and find it hard to do anything in the day other than feed and eat myself!

Can your health visitor or GP offer any support from the community?

Bug hugs xxx

Success!! Caroline actually took a bottle today. Didn't drink much and ended up on the boob anyway but it's a start, lol. I think I needed to get her at just the right time.

I have been to a breastfeeding group which was helpful. I'd like to try combi-feding for awhile anyway. I'd still feed her in the night but it would help so much if my husband could feed her too. She went back onto her two-hour scedule last night which was a slight improvement! Here's hoping both our LO's start stretching things out soon! xx

 

[Piper84]

Thanks so much for starting this thread, it really gives me hope!

My LO is 6 days old and a perfect bundle of joy but I have such lows while I'm alone with him and DH is working. Today (Saturday) is especially hard as he has to work all day. I'm scared that my LO is so vulnerable and that fragile and that something could happen to him or DH.

For me it started after we left the hospital. We had a family room and there was always help and support if you needed it and suddenly we were on our own and DH was back at work. Added to that we don't know anyone round here and only just moved here in Feb and live in a kind of retirement home suburb where there is absolutely nothing going on.

I can't wait to get out and about again but am just wondering when I'll feel strong enough

I just thought I'd write an update on my situation. LO is now 17 days old and the blues have almost completely disappeared. We've been out a few times as a family and it's made me realise I'm not as isolated as I first thought. DH has holiday booked starting tomorrow so that's also a great help.

I have got used to the LO and he's more and more alert and showing more personality each day! It's also helped that my baby weight has dropped off completely and that BFing is no longer painful.

The state of our flat was getting me down and I spend 15 minutes each day getting rid of crap, while LO is sleeping. It helps to know next time we move house there won't be as much stuff

Anyway, that's my update. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not as far away as you may think! The time will come very soon when you can enjoy every day and not be crippled by irrational fears or doom-laden thoughts