Baby-Led/Attachment Parents - Help Please

[SRTBaby]

Lightworker - sorry no idea what that is but i noticed your LO is exact same age as mine.

 

[Lightworker]

Lightworker - sorry no idea what that is but i noticed your LO is exact same age as mine.

Yay! What a coincidence - what time was your LO born? Thanks for bumping my thread though, was about to come and beg for more input lol x

 

[binxyboo]

1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?
following Daniels lead. Any routine we follow is because he has put it into place. It means learning his (sometimes very subtle) cues. To me, it also means being there for him when he needs me.

2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
yes. I talked to him all the time

3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
no

4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?
not really

5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
He was born by emergence C section so I didn't get immediate skin to skin, but I still bonded quite quickly (within a few days)

6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
he was constantly by my side - or on me!

7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
No. We failed to establish breast feeding due to medical complications and I felt co-sleeping wasn't for us as a FF baby

8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Yes. and I still do (he is nearly a year old)

9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
No siblings as yet. Baby-wearing and housework go VERY well together (he loves to 'help' me hang out the nappies on the line!)

10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?
The only person to show any 'concern' was MIL, and as I don't respect any of her opinions, it really didn't matter to me. HV - I have as little to do with them as possible. They don't understand a lot of 'hippyfied' stuff so will automatically tell you it is wrong/dangerous without being fully informed!

 

[bimbojo]

1. not being bound by a schedule. listening to what Stanley needs rather than trying to fit him into what others deem he should be doing.

2. we were told we would not have children so developed an immediate connection and a need to protect and nurture him.

3. no

4. no

5. difficult labour and he was taken away. more of a weird fascination but bonded when he was bought on to the ward to spend the night with me. all he did was cry and i spent all night cycling through what i could do to soothe him. i didn't care that i was tired i just knew he needed me.

6. was in hospital so luckily had no chores to do so just focused on getting to know ds and trying to convince myself we knew what we were doing. lol

7. co slept since day 1. lo has never been able to sleep on his back and its just easier with bf. i love it and dh is happy to go on until Stanley decides he wants to sleep on his own. we all get plenty of sleep this way. dh never wakes up and stan is usually still asleep when i feed him.

8. love to babywear. only do it for trips out now although do carry ds around alot in my arms. live on 1st floor so pram is a hassle and lo hates it anyway.

9. this is what works for us. we have no set commitments so its easy to relax into it and take lo's lead. we dont worry that we cant go out cos its nap time as if stan is tired he will happily sleep in the sling and i'm comfortable bf whereever. the only constant is his 8.30 bedtime. housework gets done when he is having playtime or i tote him around. everything still gets done (eventually)

10. friends and family inform me it will be tough getting him out of my bed, that i'm spoiling him and children need routine. he is the happiest little boy who can trust us to provide for his needs. until he is unhappy we will carry on going with the flow.

 

[bky]

1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?
Doing what my baby needs. Fitting me to her schedule rather than fitting her to ours.

2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
I suppose? I could tell what made her happy/unhappy in the womb.

3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
? not sure..

4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?
No

5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
Took a while. At first I just felt responsible. Like I had to do stuff for this baby because that was my job, but not so much fondness or bonding.

6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
Well in the hospital I tried for skin to skin and such but I was all covered in IV's and oxygen tubes so it was difficult.

7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
After 3 weeks with no sleep (less than 2-4 hours per day with a baby who would not be put down) yes. Had not intended to and OH was against it, but after I walked into a few walls he decided to let us. We're still doing it for at least part of every night (though she does start off in her own bed these days).

8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Intended to do this and did. It made it so I could actually move around as LO would not sleep without being held/worn until 6 months.

9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
I don't think it does? Not any more at any rate. At first I spent a lot of time watching crap TV during the daytimes because I had to hold LO for naps etc. Oh and I used to have to go into bed at 7pm because LO wouldn't sleep without me there. But not anymore.
10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?
I have a don't offer information policy because I got told off enough for other stuff. I do get painted with the 'alternative parent' brush which I hate since there are a lot of things that fall under that umbrella that I don't believe in, but since I do things like cloth nappy and BLW it's assumed I also do these other things.

 

[PrayinForBaby]

1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?
It just means being a mommy to me, I never would've thought of any other style to parent. Attachment parenting just came natural to me.

2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
yes.

3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
eh, I was more emotional during pregnancy and very protective over my LO, didn't even like OH's friends to make jokes about my little girl doing stuff when she got older (smoking, drinking, stripping) Still get a little hot if I hear that stuff! She's my baby!!

4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?
no

5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
yes

6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
I held her ALL the time. Took her everywhere with me, talked to her, sang to her, massaged her. Just was her and me. (OH works midnights so I have had all the nighttime feedings etc with her)

7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Yes. We still cosleep and she's almost 11 months old. I want to punch people in the face that tell me its wrong. Just because you dont do it, dont tell me its wrong.

8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
yes but she grew really fast so now the slings/carriers are gone and she's just always on my hip (I'm have very curvy hips too so I have the perfect seat for her!)

9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
She's my only LO so I dont know how that would affect other children. Its made it a bit challenging since going back to work at 7 months old as far as her not wanting to stay with her daddy or mamaw, but she's on me like glue as soon as I walk in the door. I still wouldn't do things differently though. I love being her mommy.

10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?
family understands, drs understand, but people I deal with in the public straight up piss me off sometimes. matter of fact, I took her Friday because she rubbed her ear really hard...just once, but how she did it set up a red flag for me, the dr said its a vvvveeerrry early on ear infection that he's shocked I was even aware of it and said "good job mom!" and patted me on the back. That alone made me feel so confident as her mom and that I am doing a good job!

 

[kerrie24]

1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?
Just going with the flow,letting a routine develop rather than imposing one.

2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
no not really

3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
I fell down the stairs but managed to avoid hitting my bump (at 8 months pregnant) so I think the protective instinct was there.

4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?
no

5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
Instant

6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).Mainly breastfeeding,but showing him off to friends and family too,and making sure the older 2 felt involved.

7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Yes from birth and still do so.

8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Yes.At the beginning he was in a baby sling then a front carrier,I havent worn him since the snow left earlier this year cos he was hurting my back.

9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
I try to involve him now he is older,but would rather leave the housework than let him cry while I get things done.

10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?
My family still dont get the breastfeeding but have stopped going on at me as they must have got sick of hearing their own voices
My health visitor,I dont even know her name Ive never met her so she wouldnt have a clue if I had emigrated with him and joined a cult!

 

[Tacey]

1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

Following the baby's cues and meeting emotional as well as physical needs.
2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
Yes

3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
No
4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?

Yes
5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
Instant
6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
breastfeeding on the sofa, with lots of cuddles

7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Yes, and we still do. It gave us all more sleep, helped establish a good bfing relationship, and has been a great bonding experience.

8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
Not as much as I feel I should have done in the early days, but I have done since she was 2 months old. It is fantastic for giving her what she needs while allowing me to get on with what I want to do too.
9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
I gave up work to be a SAHM so money is tighter. We tend to avoid toddler groups as they overwhelm her, and I find others quite intolerant of my parenting style. We meet with other likeminded mums regularly though. In the early days, the house was very messy!
10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?
health visitors haven't been very supportive but don't force their opinions. Our families have been very encouraging though. I have lost some friends due to our style of parenting, but gained others!

 

[Lightworker]

Thanks ladies for all your responses. When I posted this thread I still wasn't sure exactly why I was collecting the info. Anyway, I have sort of made up my mind and was wondering if you would be kind enough to have a look at a thread I posted in Press and Research?

https://www.babyandbump.com/press-research/634875-baby-led-attachment-parents.html

There's the link. Thanks x

 

[Lightworker]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeese Bump

 

[Lightworker]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeese Bump