Baby-Led/Attachment Parents - Help Please

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Lightworker, May 31, 2011.

  1. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    Hello my lovelies. Was just wondering if you could help me with abit of information on baby-led and attachment parenting. I have a few (well ok alot!) of questions to ask, and was wondering if you could spare a mo to answer them.

    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?

    If you have any other comments about baby-led/attachment parenting, please add these as well.
    Thank you if you manage to read this all, I would be soooo grateful for your input. :flower:
     
  2. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    That'sa lot of Q's!! :)

     
  3. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    Thanks so much Aliss! Btw I just wanted to add, do you remember your thread of back carrying a newborn, well it was after reading that that I decided to back carry so thank you! And thanks for answering all my questions lol x
     
  4. EmberLeigh

    EmberLeigh Ember's Mommy

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    1. It means raising my child the way the way people did a long time ago (and still do now in some places) and being "in tune" with my baby and her needs.

    2. Yes.

    3. Yes

    4. No, but I slept a lot more than usual and kept a "relaxing" enviornment.

    5. Not really, I was more like "Wow... I actually have a baby, that's weird." so, I guess it took a few days to hit me that I actually had a baby (and giving birth wasn't as bad as I thought it would be).

    6. I rarely put her down or left her side and breastfed rather than bottle feed her. She also slept on my chest for 90% of the day.

    7. We've co slept since the day she was born and I love it. I feel like it has definitely made her feel more "safe" and therefore quicker to fall (and stay) asleep, which made it easier for EVERYONE to sleep at night.

    8. Yes. It make things easier to get done and more convenient when she gets hungry.

    9. It doesn't have any adverse effects, only makes life easier.

    10. Some people think I'm spoiling her and others think that I am just being a "new mom" and will soon tire of always having/holding the baby.
     
  5. vaniilla

    vaniilla Well-Known Member

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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you? it means going by baby's cue for when he's hungry/wants to sleep and not going by a schedule, doing everything as it feels right for us and lo

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO? yea, I also just knew that it was a boy from early on so I connected with him as my son from around 12 weeks.

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy? I would say so

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy? I did yoga for a while

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while? no, labour was pretty quick but he had the cord around his neck and had to be delivered by ventouse, I didn't see him for a while after he was born so part of me felt like it wasn't real

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO). I did a lot of skin to skin at home and pretty much me and oh carried lo around with us all day.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?) no, Oh is a heavy sleeper although I will hopefully be getting a co-sleeper cot for our next lo.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?) yes, til about 5 months I've been wearing lo about 4+ hours a day now he prefers to roll around/play on the floor.

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc) when Rowan was younger it didn't really affect it all, I carried on with housework with lo in a sling, now that he's older he's happy to play with his toys while I do other things or he likes to sit on my lap with his favourite toy.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)? they didn't really understand the babywearing and I kept being told I was spoiling him and turning him into a fussy baby, well lo is far from fussy now and pretty independent :flower:
     
  6. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    hey I'm glad you enjoyed it!! Once you go back, you'll never... well, go back :haha:
     
  7. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    Morning all - Bump x
     
  8. Rmar

    Rmar Well-Known Member

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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?
    Following my instincts and the instincts of DD. Although, I think her instincts are a lot more in tune than mine so it is usually just trying to tune myself with what she wants.

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
    I dearly loved my baby and I'm sure that is the way a lot of pregnant women feel, especially if they had been trying. I could tell which position she was in and such but I had no idea she was a she until she was born.

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
    I don't think so. Not that I noticed anyway. I was a lot more protective of myself because I knew it wasn't just me that I was looking after.

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?
    Yes. I started yoga/meditation when I was TTC and continued it during pregnancy.

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?

    Yes and no. I didn't want to take my eyes off her and couldn't stop touching her skin as it was so soft but when I started bleeding (PPH), I handed her to comeone else so I could get out of the tub and didn't think of anything but getting to the mattress until she was placed back on my chest when I layed down. From that moment, she stayed on my chest for hours and that's when I really got to bond with her despite being tired.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
    We have spent a lot of time in bed. The first few days, I didn't get out of bed and either did she. It was hard to move her around anyway because she was a lotus birth so she still had her cord attached which made her pretty much glued to me. All visits from the midwife and doctor took place with us staying in bed. I didn't have to clean or cook for that whole period of time; just focus on her and keeping her clean, full and warm.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    Yes. I loved sleeping with her and I have always loved snuggling up to someone while I sleep and I feel very loved when she moves her head to the side that I am and placed one hand on me. I would love to have a bigger bed to sleep with DH on the other side because I miss having him next to me. He is on a mattress on the ground. He told me this morning that he liked it better down there but I hope he was just trying to make me feel better about kicking him out of the bed because I really want him to come back up there when DD gets older.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    Yes, I love having her so close to me but it can get a bit sweaty. It is a lot more difficult than I thought but it is easier than lugging the pram around on public transport. She sleeps a lot better when she is being held upright, too. I'm not sure our relationship would be any different because I only babywear when we are going out places and not just around the house.

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
    I really think I wouldn't get as much housework done because she enjoys being held most of the day and the period of time that she wants to spend alone is just long enough for me to do the washing and the dishes. Any longer than that and she cries. We don't have any other children and aren't planning on having more until she is maybe 6 or 7.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?

    The maternal-child health nurse hasn't said much about our choices like babywearing and cosleeping. My mum is under the impression that I have to train DD to sleep by herself more but to me that means letting her have alone time when she clearly wants it but picking her back up again when she doesn't want to be alone anymore whether that is 5 minutes later or more not a set amount of time where I shouldn't touch her like my mum says. Oh well, I am the one looking after her and not my mum so she can say it but I choose what advice I take. No one has said anything that I can't brush off, yet.
     
  9. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?
    Just that really, being baby led / baby centred - as in fitting in around the babys needs rather than the baby having to fit in around us

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
    I dont know really! Definitely an emotional connection with the idea of 'my baby' but I didn't bond with Ruby herself, if that makes any sense

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
    No I don't think so

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?
    No

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
    It took about 2-3 weeks, but I think my failure to BF was mostly responsible for that

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
    Didn't do anything in particular

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    We did initially because she wouldn't sleep otherwise (and therefore neither would we.) one day she was happy to sleep in her basket so we did that from then on. No it didn't impact on our relationship and I felt it was the right thing for us at the time.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    I did until Ruby stopped enjoying it at around 18 months. After that point I stopped wearing and started just carrying her whenever she didn't want to walk. I rarely if ever use a pushchair because she never enjoyed them at all.
    I would say it helped us massively - it has made outings possible basically. She isn't as unhappy about pushchairs than she used to be, and walks a lot now.

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
    I don't see any connection really, just means I have sore arms from carrying her sometimes haha. No impact on housework really, I just do it when OH is around or she is asleep, babywearing made it more possible when she was little.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?
    We have had no comments from anyone, but the childminder commented that Ruby is the most content child she has ever cared for so we must have done something right haha
     
  10. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for taking the time to answer ladies. X
     
  11. Farie

    Farie Well-Known Member

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    Hope that helps
     
  12. Thegirl

    Thegirl Well-Known Member

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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

    Doing things at my son's pace and convenience rather than my own.

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?

    Yes.

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?

    I would say no although I felt vunerable for the first time in a long time. I think just knowing your carrying something precious makes you more aware of lots of things.

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?

    No

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?

    Instant.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).

    I had a c-section. Spent the first few days at home cuddled up. After five days started walks out with him. I used the recouperation time after the c-section as bonding time, just us at home feeding and sleeping. I limited visitors to certain times during the day so we had lots of us time. I didn't change a nappy for the first two weeks (my husband did them all) and I still haven't had a bath with my son as that is Daddy's bonding time.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    Yes. Hadn't planned to but the c-section meant I couldn't pick him up otherwise. Would definately do it again. He has good sleep habits now because of it. I think it's made us closer.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    I conciously chose not to very much as I knew I would be returning to work in six months and didn't want him to need to be close to me to be comforted. However it's way easier on public transport and he loves it. I would do it if I had more time off with my next child. I definately think there would be an advantage to baby wearing if dealing with a baby and a little person.

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)

    I breast feed so going out is not a problem as can feed where ever and whenever. He sleeps when he wants, so not restrictive. I have no other children so didn't affect them. I've always encouraged independant play with him so other than the odd bad day I've always been able to make time to do (some) housework. Bare minimum dinner is always cooked.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?

    Health visitor encouraged baby led feeding and routine. Also happy with co-sleeping as long as done safely. Were not encouraging of baby wearing though.
    My family were supportive, my Mum baby wears more than me when she looks after my son. Other family friends supportive of parts of it but not all but don't criticise.
     
  13. MarchMummy11

    MarchMummy11 Guest

    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

    Exactly that, being led by baby. It's very rare an adult follows a specific routine, we don't get sleepy or hungry at exactly the same time everyday so why should they?!

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?

    Not particularly. It didn't feel real right up until the moment he was born. Although it was very rare I didn't have a hand on my bump.

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?


    I wouldn't say so, no.

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?

    Nope.

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?

    Not really, the birth was absolutely terrifying and I ended up having an emergency section so it was all taken out of my hands and I was too shaken to connect with anything.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).

    Cuddling...LOTS. I had about 2 hours sleep in 3 days because I didn't want to put him down.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    We sort of co-sleep. He goes down in his cot about 9pm and stays there until between 2-4am where he then comes in with us until 8amish.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    No, but only because i'm tiny and he's a chunk

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)

    I struggle to get things done sometimes as he always wants to be held etc. But I get stuff done when OH comes home or when he goes to bed.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?


    He's "spoilt" and has me wrapped around his fingers.
     
  14. kirmal12

    kirmal12 Well-Known Member

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    Hello my lovelies. Was just wondering if you could help me with abit of information on baby-led and attachment parenting. I have a few (well ok alot!) of questions to ask, and was wondering if you could spare a mo to answer them.

    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

    I've always been led by him, I've treated him as a person in his own right from day one, if that makes sense?

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?

    No

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?

    No

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy?

    No

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?

    Yes even though the birth was traumatic for me.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).

    I had a emergency c section, but i didn't let that hold me back. Within 3 days we went out for walks and i did most things for LO. And he slept on me during the day, so he was never alone.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    Yes, we co-slept for about 6 months. 1st month actually in between us and the next 4/5 months in a co-sleeper cot. It made are relationship much stronger i'm convinced. He has always self settled and never needed help getting to sleep and he STTN from 6 months and has done ever since, other than teething and even then he is quick to settle.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)

    Yes but not as much as i would have liked too. He was a big heavy baby and i started out with the wrong carrier. I then got a Mai Tai and still struggled, but he had some time every day in it for the first few months.

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)

    My LO has never had a routine (other than a night) so he is so adaptable, we never have to rush around to get him home for naps ETC, and as we BLW eating out or picnics are so easy.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?

    My midwife actually told me to co-sleep and the HV's round here know a little about BLW. Most of my family totally agree with BLW and friends couldn't give a hoot to be honest!.

    If you have any other comments about baby-led/attachment parenting, please add these as well.
    Thank you if you manage to read this all, I would be soooo grateful for your input.


    My little man is a very chilled, happy guy (most of the time) he is the least clingy child you every wish to meet. He has never had separation anxiety issues and he is full of confidence. And i personally believe and so does OH, it's the way we have brought him up that's made him so content!.
     
  15. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you? I dont think it means anything to me be baby-led, its just makes the most sence. If shes tired let her sleep, if shes hungry feed her, if she want cuddles then give her cuddles and if she want to play on the floor she can play on the floor.

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO? I suppose but nothing more than what most pergnant women feel.

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy? I dont think they were hightend but they were right.

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy? Not meditation like some people expect but i just used to lie on the sofa with my eyes shut listaning to music which helped relax me.

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while? I think it was instant.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO). She was taken into special care at two days old for a few days but before and after that, lots of skin to skin and hugs.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    She dident sleep in my bed as i wouldent have slept a wink but her cot is still by my bed.

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?) Yes when we were out or if she wanted lots of hugs. Im baby led rather than practice AP so if shes quite happy to play on the floor or in her chair she does but if she wants cuddles id use her in the sling.

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
    Well my house is a mess but thats partly because im lazy lol


    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)? My mam some times thinks i spend to much time playing with her :dohh:
     
  16. tu123

    tu123 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks:thumbup:
     
  17. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

    Follow his cues & understand his ongoing changing needs with no expectations. Going with the flow & changing our routine to fit his.

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO? Sometimes

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy? No

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy? I had pregnancy masages throughout my pregnancy.

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
    It took a while (around 6-7 weeks) I had an emergency CS & didnt have milk to BF & it affected our bonding.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
    Spending lots of time on our bed with LO talking & playing with him.

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    Yes, & we still do. I love it & we'r not planning to move him to his room anytime soon. I enjoy the cuddles when we'r sleeping

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    No, I have a weak back & DS was a big baby

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
    I'm a SAHM & I have a cleaner. It was easy for us.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?

    My parents are still supportive as they were also baby led. Friends & inlaws think we'r spoiling him. Our paed is also supportive :)
     
  18. Lightworker

    Lightworker Well-Known Member

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    Bumpitty Bump x
     
  19. Eve

    Eve Well-Known Member

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    1. What does being a baby-led / attachment parent mean to you?

    It means following my natural instincts in providing the best & most natural care for my children, to me.

    2. During your pregnancy, did you feel an emotional (or any other) connection to your LO?
    Very much. My daughter especially, from the start... I knew she was my girl. She has given me so much, such a sense of renewed hope and that dreams and happy endings can still happen

    3. Were your instincts heightened during your pregnancy?
    I really don't know/remember lol

    4. Did you do any relaxation/meditation during your pregnancy? No but I sure needed it!

    5. Did you feel an instant bond with your baby when born, or did you feel it took a while?
    Instant and amazing.

    6. How did you spend your postnatal recovery period (i.e. what sort of stuff did you do to bond with LO).
    We nursed, and snuggled and co-slept in the hospital, even when the nurses scolded me.. I told them to bugger off!

    7. Did you co-sleep? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    Sure did and loved it! Between that and loads of skin to skin, even after not nursing for 3.5 months she will still snuggle into me in the tub and almost fall asleep every time :cloud9:

    8. Did you babywear? (If yes, what were your feelings about it, and did it impact your relationship with LO?)
    Yes we did for a while and it was so lovely. I had more time to get things done, and she had more mommy snuggles. Even daddy did sometimes. I feel it has helped strengthen our bond immensely

    9. How does being a baby-led/attachment parent affect your day-to-day life? (eg life with other siblings, work, housework etc)
    It makes things easier on me and the household I think... we are all baby led lol, even my son! He is amazing with her, and we do more of attachment things with him too, their need for mommy snuggles and gentle guidance never end.

    10. What were people's attitude to you being baby-led/attachment parents (eg health professionals, friends and family)?

    I always get I am spoiling the baby especially. It drives me nuts and I've had a few fall outs over it. I know what I am doing is right for my family and that is all that matters

    xx
     
  20. littlestar85

    littlestar85 Wife and mother

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    :thumbup:
     

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