baby shower registry

[FM_DJ]

I'm mostly just annoyed because my registry has been nothing but a pain in the butt! We went with a target registry, because it was great for the wedding. For the baby, the website has been nothing but trouble.

Ditto! I've about had it with Target. I wouldn't worry about what's off the list. A lot of people don't realize they need to let the cashier check the items off the registry. So you might be getting those anyway.

 

[Dani_87]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

How terrible that we have to pay for our own maternity care... so much of the money that we save for baby is eaten up by co-pays and hospital bills... (For me, that's an estimated $2500 from the moment we leave the hospital... let alone what we 'buy for our own baby'. The OP's stress is perfectly understandable. )


How terrible that we have to put up with judgmental comments on our threads from those overseas from us....

I agree...The way I've seen it is us ladies in the US for the most part get a lot of the baby stuff purchased for us (for the most part, if a registry is chosen to be made) while we have to pay for the medical side of things. Meanwhile, seems like a lot of the ladies overseas pay for their baby stuff while they don't have to pay for the medical things.

It could be a terrible observation, though...LOL

 

[Blah11]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

How terrible that we have to pay for our own maternity care... so much of the money that we save for baby is eaten up by co-pays and hospital bills... (For me, that's an estimated $2500 from the moment we leave the hospital... let alone what we 'buy for our own baby'. The OP's stress is perfectly understandable. )


How terrible that we have to put up with judgmental comments on our threads from those overseas from us....

It's not judgement. It just sounds a bit bizarre when people whinge about gifts. Yes its lovely to receive them but why should it be expected? It's your choice to have the baby after all, you knew you'd have medical bills surely...

& we pay for our medical fees through tax so its not free as such just no upfront bills. I don't see the relevance anyway because my family and friends aren't expected to pay for my hospital stay so its not really a great comparison.

 

[JackiePed]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

How terrible that we have to pay for our own maternity care... so much of the money that we save for baby is eaten up by co-pays and hospital bills... (For me, that's an estimated $2500 from the moment we leave the hospital... let alone what we 'buy for our own baby'. The OP's stress is perfectly understandable. )


How terrible that we have to put up with judgmental comments on our threads from those overseas from us....

It's not judgement. It just sounds a bit bizarre when people whinge about gifts. Yes its lovely to receive them but why should it be expected? It's your choice to have the baby after all, you knew you'd have medical bills surely...

& we pay for our medical fees through tax so its not free as such just no upfront bills. I don't see the relevance anyway because my family and friends aren't expected to pay for my hospital stay so its not really a great comparison.

(We pay for plenty through our taxes, too, and often never even see the benefit of them. Then we still pay for our medical care on top of that)

No, gifts should not be demanded nor an obligation. However... it IS 'the way it's done' over here, and UK-ers like to bag on that. It's not as if the OP made up the concept of a shower and went around with a collection-tin. Showers are done here...they often cover alot of your little neccessities... and so you sort of bank on that when you're having your first baby and you're budgeting your money.

The OP didn't whine about the gifts... she was venting about being stressed. Some shower threads or registry threads get me irritated, because the OP will end up sounding like an ungrateful brat. "I didn't get the gifts I want..." etc... I remember one where a gal complained that she had 40 people invited to her shower (holy cow) and only saw like, 23 gifts bought on the registry, or something silly like that. THAT's being ungrateful and demanding.

This time, the OP was just venting about the unexpected need to spend money that she may not have.

Bottom line, it's just not necessary to be sarcastic and make someone feel stupid.

 

[queenlavera]

Were already at $1880 with deductibles alone, I am not looking forward to were we stand after delivery! Certainly was not expected since this is our first baby. Yeah ditto to we pay a heap of taxes as well.

 

[robinator]

We are already at $2100, plus any extra if (God forbid), she needs the nicu....

And we have spent approximately $1200 on baby stuff, so it sure is nice when friends/family help out with buying baby stuff. Like Jackie said, it's the way it is here. Everybody knows it, everybody expects it. What can I say? We are a gift-giving nation!

 

[JohnsPrincess]

I check mine too...it's so exciting!!! I don't check what was bought though...I like to be surprised! I don't know why I check, I just cant help myself. I wouldn't worry, if people are like me it'll be done at the last min. We went to a wedding a couple weeks ago and were in target the night before buying stuff! Lol

 

[StranjeGirl]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

How terrible that we have to pay for our own maternity care... so much of the money that we save for baby is eaten up by co-pays and hospital bills... (For me, that's an estimated $2500 from the moment we leave the hospital... let alone what we 'buy for our own baby'. The OP's stress is perfectly understandable. )


How terrible that we have to put up with judgmental comments on our threads from those overseas from us....

It's not judgement. It just sounds a bit bizarre when people whinge about gifts. Yes its lovely to receive them but why should it be expected? It's your choice to have the baby after all, you knew you'd have medical bills surely...

& we pay for our medical fees through tax so its not free as such just no upfront bills. I don't see the relevance anyway because my family and friends aren't expected to pay for my hospital stay so its not really a great comparison.

It's just how we do things here. Trust me, I've given, or will give, gifts for everyone that is giving me one at my baby shower. I actually think it is nice because then you buy a gift once and a while, when someone is having a baby, and you aren't spending $5000 all at once on baby stuff. We still have to spend a lot on the baby because we usually have to buy the big stuff like crib, dresser, rocking chair etc, and then whatever is not given to us. Plus at least about $5000 in medical bills...and we usually have to pay for medical monthly too. I pay $365/month for medical, and will still have to pay a fortune by the time the baby is born once you pay for the doctor, hospital, prenatal appts, birthing classes etc etc. So the gifts are appreciated as everyone here knows that having a baby is overwhelmingly expensive.

I check my registry too. I get worried when I see that things have not been bought, as i wonder if that means I am going to get a bunch of stuff that I don't need. I don't live in a place with much room, so having extra un-needed stuff if hard to find a place for!

 

[jenniferttc1]

I don't know about ya'll ladies, but my husband has about 600.00 a month + taking out for taxes (that covers medicare for others that can't afford it) On top of that we pay 100.00 a week for my health insurance PLUS 20% of everything, even bloodtest, scans, seeing the doctor EVERYTHING. I see nothing wrong with us US ladies having a baby shower, I bet if everywhere else did them, it would be a whole different outlook on them. Bottom line, I think they are wonderful for first time moms, and its an amazing experience.
OP- I have my shower this weekend and only have few items off the registry, my walmart one isnt even taking them off cause my grandma told me she purchased items and they didnt come off. Plus alot of people wait last minute, or don't go off the registry at all. I was really bad at that to others, till I realized its better to get them things off of it. I also accidently a few times bought an item and realized I got it at the wrong store. Some people will also find the same item at another store thats cheaper than the store its on the registry. I'm all about bargins for others
Don't worry you will get plenty of things. I only have about 5 items off all my registrys together, but my mom alone has about 15 presents wrapped in her living room. (she stinks at going off the registry also)

 

[aaaaa]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

How terrible that we have to pay for our own maternity care... so much of the money that we save for baby is eaten up by co-pays and hospital bills... (For me, that's an estimated $2500 from the moment we leave the hospital... let alone what we 'buy for our own baby'. The OP's stress is perfectly understandable. )


How terrible that we have to put up with judgmental comments on our threads from those overseas from us....

Yeah, and not to mention I had to have 2 visits to the ER so far during this pregnancy. The last one alone billed me $750 out of pocket after insurance payed their part. For the first one, I was on vacation and out of network, so my part was way much more. I am too depressed to do the math and figure out what all we have payed in hospital bills, copays, deductable, medical bills so far.

Regarding my shower, I didn't get very much I was registered for, but I get lots of great stuff that is very useful. Many people that didn't buy off the registry included a gift receipt and stressed to please take it back and exchange it if I didn't want/need it. I was a little nervous about my registry, but I ended up VERY happy and grateful for all I got

 

[chobette]

Not everyone buys from the registry. We only had 3 bought items show up, and we had A LOT of gifts at our shower. A lot didn't use the registry print-out so it didn't update online. xx

 

[jenniferttc1]

How terrible that you have to buy stuff for your own baby?

How terrible that we have to pay for our own maternity care... so much of the money that we save for baby is eaten up by co-pays and hospital bills... (For me, that's an estimated $2500 from the moment we leave the hospital... let alone what we 'buy for our own baby'. The OP's stress is perfectly understandable. )


How terrible that we have to put up with judgmental comments on our threads from those overseas from us....

Yeah, and not to mention I had to have 2 visits to the ER so far during this pregnancy. The last one alone billed me $750 out of pocket after insurance payed their part. For the first one, I was on vacation and out of network, so my part was way much more. I am too depressed to do the math and figure out what all we have payed in hospital bills, copays, deductable, medical bills so far.

Regarding my shower, I didn't get very much I was registered for, but I get lots of great stuff that is very useful. Many people that didn't buy off the registry included a gift receipt and stressed to please take it back and exchange it if I didn't want/need it. I was a little nervous about my registry, but I ended up VERY happy and grateful for all I got

It would be nice being able to go to the E.R and not have to worry about what the amount for the bill is coming in the mail. I went for a burning stomach once, sit there for an hour and had fluids and had to pay 1,000 to the hopital.

 

[jessrabbit]

Hey people calm down. I'm in the UK and had a shower and checked the registry daily, worrying I wasnt getting anything! Turned out there was an error with the website and I had nothing to worry about.

Attitudes to showers in the UK are different and some people felt funny about my shower and voted with their feet and didnt come, fair enough. Even though some of them have since bought me little presents

Halloween never used to be celebrated much in the UK and is now turning into quite a big fun event (I have always been a fan).

I have a friend who moved to the US (she is on here as well, you know who you are ;-)) and I have to admit I do think we have it a lot better in the UK in terms of 'free' (yes it does come out of our taxes and yes the US pay taxes too) healthcare. But I was really shocked to find out that you dont have the right to paid mat leave like we do and how little time off you are actually entitled to. Made me realise how lucky we are over here.

At the end of the day they are cultural differences, neither one is right or wrong, thats just how it is, so why bicker over it.

Live and let live, lets just enjoy our bumps and live happily ever after xx

 

[xpensivtaste]

Hey people calm down. I'm in the UK and had a shower and checked the registry daily, worrying I wasnt getting anything! Turned out there was an error with the website and I had nothing to worry about.

Attitudes to showers in the UK are different and some people felt funny about my shower and voted with their feet and didnt come, fair enough. Even though some of them have since bought me little presents

Halloween never used to be celebrated much in the UK and is now turning into quite a big fun event (I have always been a fan).

I have a friend who moved to the US (she is on here as well, you know who you are ;-)) and I have to admit I do think we have it a lot better in the UK in terms of 'free' (yes it does come out of our taxes and yes the US pay taxes too) healthcare. But I was really shocked to find out that you dont have the right to paid mat leave like we do and how little time off you are actually entitled to. Made me realise how lucky we are over here.

At the end of the day they are cultural differences, neither one is right or wrong, thats just how it is, so why bicker over it.

Live and let live, lets just enjoy our bumps and live happily ever after xx

well said!! i wanted a baby shower - i didnt intend on doing a registry or anything as i have everything i need but its nice to get together with family and friends and have a bit of a chit chat and some lunch since some of us 'mum's to be' dont get out much. a few members of family told me i shouldn't though as its cheeky to expect presents so i didn't end up arranging one incase people thought i was being rude even though people expect a wedding present or an engagement present and to me its basically the same principle.

i actually went to my first ever baby shower last year and i thought it was a lovely touch. i didnt feel like i was pressurised to buy a present but obviously i did anyway and it was a nice get together for us all with a few sandwiches and what not and the mother to be had a lovely day being the center of attention which, lets be fair - is a good morale boost for any pregnant lady with raging hormones, constantly lacking sleep, swollen feet and a bad back.

 

[jessrabbit]

I just thought, sod it, the amount of weddings, engagements and everything else I have been to, time for something for me.

I was lucky had everything I needed for baby and did a registry just so people could get me things that suited my personal taste.

For me it was a nice chance to see everyone in one place, one last time as now I am far too tired to cope with anyone. Also nice to have a bit of attention as seem to have acquired powers of invisibility since being pregnant

 

[bellaxgee]

thank you to all the ladies who responded. i would like to say that i am in no way being ungrateful about the gifts i am receiving, and yes i am stressed. when the baby is born i will have to pay $800 a month for her insurance and i will not be getting paid for my maternity leave. we are trying to save all that we can now... it is also not right that you say oh well it was your choice to have a baby because there are plenty of people that are supporting their children off of OUR tax money, which is ALOT in the US esp. NY. i was giving you the benefit of the doubt that maybe you just werent in a good mood after the first comment, but you kept going...

 

[queenlavera]

I also know about NYC taxes, DH and I both worked in NYC, he still does so because PA does not have a reciprocity agreement with NYC (NJ and CT does) we have to pay income taxes here and there. Luckily since we pay so much more in NYC they credit us some of the PA taxes but we still wind up paying an additional amount. It really sucks.

 

[poppytal pope]

YEA over here there isnnt the recognition for baby showers i think they are a really nice idea to celebrate the arrival of your little one, we have adopted halloween so why not baby shower!?

 

[jessrabbit]

think its becoming a bit more common now, I know a few people that have had one, everyone afterwards always says how nice it was!

 

[Blah11]

thank you to all the ladies who responded. i would like to say that i am in no way being ungrateful about the gifts i am receiving, and yes i am stressed. when the baby is born i will have to pay $800 a month for her insurance and i will not be getting paid for my maternity leave. we are trying to save all that we can now... it is also not right that you say oh well it was your choice to have a baby because there are plenty of people that are supporting their children off of OUR tax money, which is ALOT in the US esp. NY. i was giving you the benefit of the doubt that maybe you just werent in a good mood after the first comment, but you kept going...

its like that here too.. again I don't see the relevance. My mood is fine, I don't even have anything against baby showers. Theyre a nice idea for a get together to have a nice tea party with friends but its not to my taste to have registries and for people to feel pressured to buy your baby something. I feel the same way about wedding registries btw.