Banging head against a brick wall...

[Gemma_xX]

My mum is an ex-alcoholic. About 15years ago she started drinking vodka heavily, 3 years ago my disabled sister and myself were took into foster care because of my parents alcohol use and domestic violence. 2 years later my dad died, another year later, after she was sectioned due to mental issues, we were back into my mothers care.
The years following that she had ups and downs with drinking wine on an evening, she couldn't even stand the sight of vodka. But sometimes she'd drink so much of an evening she'd still be drunk of a morning.
When I fell pregnant with my daughter in 2010 she stopped the alcohol and tried for a relationship between us (we're not all that close). Although the past year she started going out with an old friend and now reguarly drinks vodka on an evening.
Now my wedding is coming up (20th of this month ), we arranged long ago that she'd have my daughter overnight after the wedding. She recently invited this old friend to the wedding ceremony and the reception, this I had no problems with until I saw a discussion about them having a good evening and a little drink. I spoke with my mum about the fact I do not want her to drink a drop as she will have my daughter overnight, she agreed profusely that she wouldn't. I went onto her Facebook messages (naughty I know) and found her and this pal discussing how they will take the drinking slowly during the WHOLE day on the wedding!!! I am SO angry but how in the hell do I say something to her when I only know from looking on her FB?!!! I can just imagine her with a little bottle of vodka slipping it in her drinks under the table... I'd say it would ruin the whole bloody day but I can't see her caring one bit!!

 

[aly888]

So sorry she's putting you in this position.

In terms of the wedding day, you've already asked her not to drink, she's given you her word, and you've seen evidence that suggests she's going to go against that word. To me, that means 'her word' is worthless. If it were me I wouldn't say anything to her because you've nothing to gain from it, but I would arrange a 'back up' who could have your daughter if you suspect your mother has been drinking on the day. That way if your mother sticks to her promise and doesn't drink then everything can carry on as planned, but if she does decide to drink then you don't have to worry about your daughter being with her overnight.

 

[katherinegrey]

I personally wouldn't put your LO in her care if she's talking with her friend about drinking, when her friend suggested a drink, she should have said, 'no thanks, I can't, I'm looking after my grand daughter and I promised I wouldn't drink', if she's still planning on drinking after giving her word I wouldn't trust her at all, sorry you're in this position hun xx

 

[Mummy May]

I wouldn't trust her either, I would ask someone else to have your daughter. I wouldn't like to take the risk with her. Sorry you're having to deal with this xxx

 

[Lauren25]

So sorry your having to deal with this, must be so hard for you!

Personally i wouldnt trust her to have LO and id find someone else to have her!!