BD'ing my butt off--whose in it for November??

[twinkletots]

You cry away ivylane, here is the place to let it all out
My best friend has just got her BFP first month of trying. I am happy for her but also feel gutted cos we have now been trying for 17 months and no baby to show for it, just two little angels
I am desperate for that BFP but if I got it and was pregnant at same time as my best friend it would be really difficult to deal with if I miscarried again and had to see her carrying on with the pregnancy.
Hope that doesn't sound like I am being a total bitch, it's just hard...

 

[IvyLane]

Thanks. It's totally reasonable how you feel. I've been on both sides of it now with being pregnant while a friend MC several times and now me MCing while some other friends are pregnant. Even though you are friends it's not easy to have that reminder that your own pregnancy didn't go as planned. I've been avoiding one friend (although we aren't super close) because I found out she was pregnant a week after my MC (I was actually still bleeding so it was still very new). I'm still not sure how far along she is cuz I can't even think about talking to her yet without getting angry and depressed. It's not like she did it on purpose but she's one of those people that makes it sound like she's got everything going for her (she claims that child birth never hurts and she doesn't need meds to get through it)..and the day she decided to start telling everyone she was all of a sudden "showing"...like she got a belly overnight (letting it hang out I guess)...I just felt like it was being thrown in my face even though that isn't really what was happening....so I just don't feel like hearing how she accidentaly got pregnant again and all that....ughhhh....sorry ...now I sound like a bitch lol. So glad to be able to vent here...only my husband sees this mean side of me hating on pregnant woman lol.

 

[mtln777]

Congrats mackjess on good numbers!
Dolly ..sorry you are worrying. What you said makes sense to me though : ) if you are feeling cramping in your uterus then it makes sense that's where the bean is : ) of course I'm not a DR and I don't play one on tv...but hoping all the best for you : )

Afm...having a bad day. This would have been 12 weeks for me so having a hard time with that. Wishing I was still pregnant and happily moving into the second trimester....Angry, sad, depressed..all of it.... and the wait between now and O and then the tww on top of that seems like an eternity at the moment.
I know time will move forward but times like this are hard and just seem to slow to a crawl.
Well ladies, thanks for letting me boo hoo all over the place.

Ivy I was feeling the same so I politely stayed away from this site, I randomly came here for 2 week check ups to see how everyone was doing and my tww starts now hopefully implantation is taking place as I type this!!!!! Hey ya never know keep your head high ur time will come and we will all be here with OPEN ARMS......That's what internet stranger friends are for....

 

[jabish]

well everyone....AF due this weekend and got a BFN on a first responce 5 day sooner test but in the evening if it matters

 

[mackjess]

jabish, Evening can matter, especially if it's early. fx for you tomorrow.

ivy, my 12weeks is this week too. I was out of town with family when my mc started, so I just got the bill from the er visit today. I think God big time I'm getting another shot, but I'd so rather be getting to my first trimester. I didn't realize the week I was at till I got the bill. told my dh I was gonna take a shower and not to be alarmed if he heard me crying. I've told him that a few times. the cry shower and bowl of spicy Texas chilli with jalapenos helped. emotional roller coaster this evening bc I usually don't like spicy food, let alone jalapenos. hugs sweetie.

 

[IvyLane]

Thanks mtln...yeah...internet stranger friends are great!
Jabish...sorry about your bfn..but you still do have time and it wasn't fmu so don't feel too down : ) Hoping the best for you!

 

[IvyLane]

Thnax mackjess...mmmmmm...spicy chili sounds good!....I don't need to be preggers to have cravings and now you've done it lol...I won't rest until I get some lol....sorry about your emotional rollercoaster too. I wonder what it will be like to be in your shoes if I get preg again soon (preg but still mourning a recent loss). I hope it will help in some ways but obviously it doesn't replace the baby that was lost....it's funny how much I find my self not only mourning the loss of the baby but the pregnancy it's self.
I'm so happy for all the ladies on here that were able to get pregnant again after a loss. It's totally different when you know someone has been through it too. I have a friend who MC several times and I would never have the neg feelings about her if she got pregnant again after all that she's lost. It's complicated this MC stuff....nice to know that the emotions that go with it are pretty standard though...makes me feel less crazy : )
Thanx again guys for ur support : )

 

[Angel wings13]

Well, so far, it does not appear that I have o'd. Dtd monday ( cd11) , missed last night due to both of us exhausted. I just got home from work, and he's asleep! I thought about waking him, .but man I'm tired too,lol. Since I haven't had a temp spike or pos opk, I'm hoping we didn't miss our chance. Tomorrow our boys go to grandma's house, so hopefully we will make up for it....lol
I THINK my o date will be saturday - after several dry days, I finally have some thin sticky cm, hoping I get ewcm by saturday, as well as pos opk and temp spike. I just feel like if I o this fri/sat, I WILL have my egg get attacked by sperm... Just a feeling. Hope I'm right, and hope it sticks!

 

[Dollybird]

Aw ladies I know how u feel.. Think we all do here. I broke down in tears last month cause a girl I went to uni with announced she was pregnant.. I was actually on the verge of deleting my Facebook cause I just couldn't bear seeing another person announce they were preg or announce a birth.. And I felt so selfish cause I was happy deep down for them but sad for myself. It's funny what you say about not feeling tht way when it's a friend (or Internet aquaintence) who has been through the same thing who falls pregnant. Cause actually I was just thinking about that the other day. Anyways I hope nobody here beats themselves up for feeling that way cause its natural. And unless someone has been in our position they have no right to tell us how to feel (I've had a lot if people share their opinions on how I should have dealt with my loss, but I always try to let it wash over me cause I know theyjust trying to help)
Jabish it's still early!! It's not over till af shows her face!!
Angel I hope you get your smiley soon!
Afm, please tell me To shut it if I'm going on I'm like a broken record at times, had a terrible nights sleep. It af due date today so a bit on edge. Cramps through the night and feel like af coming but my bbs still agony, and when I peed on a frer this morning it came up a second line instantly that is as dark as the control.. So that seems ok doesn't it?? Argh I'm sorry ladies ill shut up soon I just need to get my worries out so I can forget about them!! Xxx

 

[mtln777]

Aw ladies I know how u feel.. Think we all do here. I broke down in tears last month cause a girl I went to uni with announced she was pregnant.. I was actually on the verge of deleting my Facebook cause I just couldn't bear seeing another person announce they were preg or announce a birth.. And I felt so selfish cause I was happy deep down for them but sad for myself. It's funny what you say about not feeling tht way when it's a friend (or Internet aquaintence) who has been through the same thing who falls pregnant. Cause actually I was just thinking about that the other day. Anyways I hope nobody here beats themselves up for feeling that way cause its natural. And unless someone has been in our position they have no right to tell us how to feel (I've had a lot if people share their opinions on how I should have dealt with my loss, but I always try to let it wash over me cause I know theyjust trying to help)
Jabish it's still early!! It's not over till af shows her face!!
Angel I hope you get your smiley soon!
Afm, please tell me To shut it if I'm going on I'm like a broken record at times, had a terrible nights sleep. It af due date today so a bit on edge. Cramps through the night and feel like af coming but my bbs still agony, and when I peed on a frer this morning it came up a second line instantly that is as dark as the control.. So that seems ok doesn't it?? Argh I'm sorry ladies ill shut up soon I just need to get my worries out so I can forget about them!! Xxx

Dollybird.......NEWSFLASH!!!! U R PREGNANT!!!!! AF is not coming...lol You are going to be fine...Relax girlie I know it's hard to but Your sticky bean is implantanted and growing.....No matter how many tests you pee on there all coming up +...... U got this girl!!! xoxoxoxoxo

 

[mackjess]

when is your first appt with the doc? I think you said but I forgot.

 

[Dollybird]

Thank you mtln I'm such a worry wart though.. Always have been.. I do my own head in at times!! Lol. Got my first scan on 3rd of December so only 2 weeks to wait. Not made a doc appointment cause I'm doing everything through the early pregnancy unit at the hospital xxx

 

[IvyLane]

Dolly thanx for sharing your experience earlier. It's nice to know that others have gone through similar things and that the emotions that come with it are completely normal.We're not just us being selfish or bitchy to our friends lol. (Well ...not without good reason anyway)
As for your worrying...I will be EXACTLY the same way if I get my BFP. I already was before the loss.Actually, testing multiple times is what gave me the heads up that something was wrong. I know some people say not to do it but I did and my faint positive never got darker so I started mentally preparing myself.So when I started spotting I was devistated of course but not shocked. So I will be testing many times next time for sure.
It sounds like your pregnancy is going well so far though! I hope you can find some distraction until after your expected AF date is well behind you.

 

[twinkletots]

Jabish, there is still a good chance for your bfp so hang in there! And try not to do a hundred tests a day which is what I would be doing!

Dolly, totally normal how you feel but the scan is not far away and should put your mind at rest for a bit. I think until you have your babe in arms its just a wait and worry game!
If I get a bfp I will be so pleased but at same time so,scared. My first miscarriage happened the day before my 13 week scan so think its normal for us all to be edgy.

Positive sticky thoughts to all

 

[mackjess]

Alright ladies, the correct phrasing is "when" you get your BFPs. I'm tired of this "if" nonsense.

 

[twinkletots]

Yay to the positivity macjess!!

 

[Dollybird]

Woo mackjess well said!!!

 

[IvyLane]

Easy for the pregnant ladies to say lol.

 

[Dollybird]

Aww it was only meant in a nice way.. A wee positive boost. Xxx

 

[IvyLane]

Lol. Sorry. I tease as humor. No offense taken at all : )
So....I'm getting slightly excited. TMI alert (I think that's a given on this website)...I had huge globs of ewcm earlier today ..which I'm thinking is way early for me (I tend to have longer cycles and am only on day 10 or 11) but maaaayyybbbbeeeee just this once things have been thrown off in a good way. I'm happy if that's the case since we BD'd the night before last (thinking it was way to early ..but u gotta just have fun once in a while hehehe) And if you follow the every other day thing it's time for another round today.:: It would be soooooo great if I really O early! I'm really not up for another super long cycle. Sadly my new trusted opk's haven't arrived yet (and the brand I had last month are ALWAYS positive grrrrrr!) But I'm hoping the ewcm is letting me know O is coming soon and I can have some little guys waiting. Don't want to get too excited since last month all my O symptoms came and went several times. I hope my opk's come today!