Bedrest and loneliness
- Thread starter ttcmoon
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India is very big. She stays 1700 km away my home city Kolkata. We stay in Hyderabad. Both me and hubby are basically from Kolkata. We shifted here for work. Hyderabad and Bangalore are well known IT tech cities.
What you are calling stress is very natural here. I used to co-sleep with my parents till my age of 11. Parents were like friends. I never went out with friends. Anyway girls need to return before 8 pm. So many rules were there but all were part of life. We enjoyed together. So those does not really create stress.
I was wondering how your baby was measuring as well - it's SUCH a relief to hear you say he/she is measuring close to where they should be. Gah, this is such a painfully uncertain time! Just hang in there - 28 weeks is just around the corner. Then 30. Then 34. You'll get there and we'll all be here with you.
So interesting to learn the differences in cultures. I'm curious - will your inlaws no longer give you pressure once this baby is born? Or will they still be upset that you lived as a professional for a few years while dealing with your fertility struggles?
I hope you are finding some comfort with the companionship of your mother. And that you are enjoying the WC games! I don't really watch those, but that's because it's not really covered here in the states. Our broadcasting of international sports is pretty pathetic. Unfortunately, we're pretty ethnocentric when it comes to sports. Blah.
Talk soon!
So interesting to learn the differences in cultures. I'm curious - will your inlaws no longer give you pressure once this baby is born? Or will they still be upset that you lived as a professional for a few years while dealing with your fertility struggles?
I hope you are finding some comfort with the companionship of your mother. And that you are enjoying the WC games! I don't really watch those, but that's because it's not really covered here in the states. Our broadcasting of international sports is pretty pathetic. Unfortunately, we're pretty ethnocentric when it comes to sports. Blah.
Talk soon!
My in laws are kind of people who think women belong to kitchen. Even if you go out and work you should still take care of everything and go. It is just an added luxury to be "allowed" to work.
They had a notion that my job and stress is creatinh my fertility issues. Whereas it was comoletely opposite. Sitting at home, losing identity would have made me more depressed tgan doing any better. I enjoyed my professional career, my power my conferences. They never understood. For them a woman means kitchen, baby, shopping, care taker...I love babies that's why I am struggling so much to attain it. My path was never smooth from very beginning. But all they noticed was our trips, our friends and thought we are afraid of new baby and responsibility... But if you see I don't do partying, I wake up early, cook, pack lunch, go to office- every thing a family woman can do. Still I kept hearing I am dirty- I don't dust, I don't cook well. They won't visit us because it is no fun. I dont have a family.(!)
What is a family? A husband and wife? Can't they make a family?
She used to take complete take over of my kitchen- eat as per her wish- even if you can't digest and vomit! I too did not like whatever she cooked but I never said on face. But they did repeatedly! So in this pregnancy I too started complaining...
My husband went to USA last year and I was here with in laws. My FIL was ill. Last time when he was ill I called ambulance along with DH and paid money. I shouted on doctors as there was some delay. But the end result was him cursing me for not completing his family with a kid. I was trying so hard. He was very disappointing to see me as his son was not there. His expression was like - "oh you! Where is my son, daughter and wife?" I stopped feeling like a family member since then. But I kept quiet because he was a patient then. He was going through mental pressure.
Then 2nd time when I was in very next room, he felt ill. My MIL called her daughter and SIL, completely ignoring me! Like I am a piece of shit and I won't be able to help. FIL's ego was hurt as his son left him in custody of a woman. I felt it daily. Excuse me! It is my home. I am a registered owner. But nothing goes in a way I want.
My SIL used to come daily. Leave her kids here- no one even informed me. I love them very much but I am a human being too. During my bed rest I just used to lay down my room- dark, lonely with no one to talk with. Even if I talk out of excitement my FIL used to stop me saying " don't speak ..oh you speak so much" . they never tried to understand my pain and feeling. I was always a vessel who would help to carry their family name.
So many instances for last 7 years. But I never made a fuss of it. If I were a woman who wanted to break relations and influence his son. MIL even said these to my mom. As per her my mom did not raise me well.
I left my parents to stay with hubby, his patents stayed here months after months, I left my kitchen, my households, I appointed cook, driver maid everything. I never had a cook for myself. I have taken so much hardship to bear a child. Days in hospital, I left my job, I wore whatever they bought. Loved SIL's kids like my own, my FIL got mad in one night of ICU stay. And look at mr I never made face in all these procedures. When I did they couldn't take.
I don't want to leave my baby with them now, which I previously planned. Who knows they may spoil my rainbow against me and my parents. SIL's kids likes my in laws more than their paternal grand parents. These guys must have done something there too!
Sorry for such a big vent but I needed to do it! Thanks ladies for reading!
My plan is - full concentration on baby now. Then I won't stop hubby to have relationship with them. But I will only keep formal relations. From now on I will spend less days in their home. Like SIL goes to my city for a month but hardly spends any time with her in laws in absence of her husband.
It is my husband's responsibility to take care of me and baby. Stand beside me even if I am wrong. The struggle I did was for both of us! I lefy home for him. I did not know his parents at all. So now it is him!
My plan is - full concentration on baby now. Then I won't stop hubby to have relationship with them. But I will only keep formal relations. From now on I will spend less days in their home. Like SIL goes to my city for a month but hardly spends any time with her in laws in absence of her husband.
It is my husband's responsibility to take care of me and baby. Stand beside me even if I am wrong. The struggle I did was for both of us! I lefy home for him. I did not know his parents at all. So now it is him!
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Yes. 28 weeks 3 days today.
Went for scan today. Things looked good but just after I returned I started wiping brownish discharge with each pee(tmi). Sent sms to my doctor. I hope all is well.
Too much spotting/bleeding with this pregnancy...scary!!
Went for scan today. Things looked good but just after I returned I started wiping brownish discharge with each pee(tmi). Sent sms to my doctor. I hope all is well.
Too much spotting/bleeding with this pregnancy...scary!!
Was the scan internal? I've heard it's VERY common to spot after an internal scan. With your little bean measuring where they should be I'm sure everything is ok.
I'm beyond thrilled for you! So what's the next milestone you're focusing on? 30 weeks?
I'm beyond thrilled for you! So what's the next milestone you're focusing on? 30 weeks?
yes small goals! fist small goal 30 weeks then 32, milestone 1: 34...then 36
no the scan was not internal. My OB messaged back saying not to worry. So I am trying to be calm
yeah I hope so. Next appointment at 30 weeks. Hope fluid level remains fine.
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