Hey ladies. I've been wanting to post here, but I felt almost like I shouldn't because I've been gone so long! I feel badly about it, but I was such a depressed person during the last few months of last year, it was just too much. I had to step away because TTCing was controlling my life.
Just to fill you in a bit, I've been doing injections since July, but I was always left with a cyst afterwards so I would be told to take a month off so half the time, I wasn't even able to try. In mid-October, I started a new cycle on injectibles. I was told November 5th that I overstimulated and they canceled my IUI. They said it would be most likely too many eggs would implant. I was SO upset. DH and I decided to try at home anyway and a week later I got a bfp. A few days later I got a beta and it came back as a 7. They told me to come back in a week and it only went up to a 17.
On Thanksgiving morning, I lost it.
Oh, the beginning of November also marked our 1 year of TTCing. Even more disappointing.
I had to take December off due to a cyst again and in January had my 4th IUI. That was a bfn. Luckily there were no cysts so I was able to try again this cycle. My dr said that if my 5th IUI didn't work, that he would want to discuss IVF (which I told him time and time again weren't afforable for me). So I really went into this cycle laid back. It was definitely the most laid back I've ever been in my year of TTCing. I even decided to shift my focus onto dieting. I had lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks, but once I started up the injections again, they counteracted my dieting and I hadn't been losing anymore weight (since injections make me gain).
On March 2nd, I had a follicle of almost 24mm. That was the biggest one I've ever had. I had my 5th IUI on March 3rd. DH had the flu! He thought his sample was going to be terrible, but it was actually better than previous cycle. He had 100million sperm and 90% motility. We also BD'ed the afternoon before! I took it easy that day, but other than that, I just figured, "Eh, it's not going to work. I'm used to this by now." and just kinda put it out of my mind (as much as I could). I even told myself I wouldn't POAS. haha Of course I ended up POAS to see if the Ovidrel was out of my system. I POAS 8 days after the trigger shot (6DPIUI) and there was the faintest line so I figured the next day the Ovidrel would be out of my system. 7DPIUI the line was still faint and 8DPIUI, I swore the line looked darker, but told myself I was seeing things. I was curious so I took another on 9DPIUI, which would be 11 days past the HCG shot. I was shocked. It was a shade darker. I've POAS each day since then (even today at 18DPIUI) and they are a tiny bit darker each day. The line doesn't match the control line, but definitely there.
I went in for bloodwork on 13DPIUI and my beta was 179. On 15DPIUI, it was at 325. The dr. said he was pleased with the numbers and told me to come back a week from that day, which will be this Friday, for bloodwork and ultrasound.
I'm not celebrating yet because I'm totally scared until I get an ultrasound. I guess from having a loss back in November, the bfps just aren't enough for me to celebrate. Same with DH. I am scared to death that the bean will be somewhere other than where it should be (in the uterus) or that my numbers don't go up. I am trying to stay positive, but it's so hard!
Anyway, that's where I am now and I was even scared to change my profile to say "expecting".
I hope that all of you ladies are doing well. I'd love for you all to just catch me up real quick because I want to know how you're all doing. AND SO SORRY for so much babbling! This was a novel and thank you if you read it.
LOTS OF LOVE!!!
https://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/xenjoythesilencex/photo-2.jpg
PS. The hpts not in the little pink sleeve are Dollar Tree and Answer tests. The Answer test dye doesn't get very dark and I found the same with the Dollar Tree ones.