BFP Chasers...........Feel free to join....

[Wish2BMom]

aw miki, that stinks - I would definitely talk to her about her future plans for the daycare and then, being that you are 50% of her clientele right now, you have plenty of leg to stand on to ask that she give you proper notice before closing for the day. It doesn't have to be a difficult conversation - perhaps she doesn't realize the impact her last minute cancellations are having. And you can wrap it with love - 'We LOVE having Gummy here and hope to have our future child here too - the ONLY challenge we have is when you ...' She'd have to be a beast to not be open to that conversation!!

Ask - I hope you have baby girl in your arms right now!!!

There's an article here on BnB on the first page - I shouldn't have read it. 'I Wish I Didn't Love the Baby Stage So Much' or something like that. I've already started mourning the boys leaving the baby stage and becoming toddlers!! I've really loved it more than I ever knew (seriously - having kids opened new corners of my heart I didn't know were there) and will miss it terribly. Though we still have the sleepless nights and it's hard for them to communicate, etc, it's still so, so precious and short.

Our newest thing recently (b/c there seems to be something new every day now...) is that the boys get jealous when one is picked up and the other is not. Arms go up and they start to cry! It's heartbreaking! Things that don't happen with one child! This morning I was on the floor with them and they were both facing me and Malcolm put his arms up to be held. So I picked him up and then Timothy watched with such jealousy and started whining and motioning like he wanted some love too. T also loves just sitting on my lap when I'm down on the floor with them. They were also physically playing together today - ooooooh boy, we're going to have some scratches and bruises soon! They clearly don't have good aim or know their strength just yet so when they land a hand on the other, it either ends up as pulling hair, scratching (just b/c the instinct is to grab whatever the hand lands on), pulling shirts...

Miki - what are you feeding Gummy for solids these days? I have envy on some other moms on this site that are making their own but dang, I don't have much time for that. I'll puree a couple of fruits (made a blackberry and apricot blend the other day with blackberries from our yard) or extra veggies if we have them from dinner, or set aside a portion of our mashed sweet potatoes for them, but the rest is mostly from the squeeze packet/jar plus cereal. I'll mash a banana in the cereal too - I want them to have as much fresh food as possible but it's not always possible. At least I'm buying organic, right?

 

[Wicky78]

Ask - I can't believe it's already time!!! I hope you are holding your baby girl already or will have her in your arms very soon. FX that all goes well for you and your little one during L&D.

Miki - I was so excited for you about the house. What great news! I'm so sorry to hear about your daycare woes. It seems like you found the perfect place in terms of care, but not for your schedules. Closing 10 times since gummy has been there is a lot! And with short notice, that probably makes it harder for parents. I'm glad your workplaces have been flexible about it, but I understand your concerns, too. I hope that something works out for you. I agree that talking to the lady is probably the best approach, since it can't hurt to talk about your concerns if the alternative is needing to find a new daycare.

Terri - so glad to hear from you, but sad about Fun's medical situation. What can be done if a dog has Lupus? Are there treatments available to manage at least the symptoms? I really hope it turns out not to be Lupus, though.

Hi, mamadragon! Welcome! I haven't experienced recurring chemicals, but I know from watching others just how heartbreaking that can be. I hope the doctor can shed some light on what's happening and can offer you some solutions.

Wish - your new job sounds great and you sound really happy. The boys sound adorable! My M just started teething, but I know it will be months before any teeth actually cut through. The drool is staggering in volume, though! I can't believe your boys are sitting up and doing toddler-ish things already. I am already feeling nostalgic for the early days of newborn life and my little girl still pretty much just lies down and doesn't move anywhere. We do tummy time, but she doesn't like it yet and gets fussy after about 2 minutes. It is nice right now, though, to have her awake more often. Glad to hear that the illnesses have passed and everyone is feeling better. How adorable that the boys try to play with each other! I thought little ones didn't really notice/interact with others until they were older, so that sounds really cute (although the bruises and scratches don't sound fun...). By the way, how do you get anything done when you work from home? I would just watch them all day and be so distracted I'd get nothing done

TTC - Bella sounds like an adorable baby with those "fun" toddler emotional outbursts. It will be interesting to see how she handles being redirected as she learns to cope with her emotions.

AFM, M is doing well and had a good 4 month check up. The shots were not so fun for the mammas, as she was uncomfortable and fussy for two days afterward. She's feeling much better now and even gave DW some giggles yesterday - her first ones! We are still working on the tongue tie issues. She has a release procedure scheduled for Sept 5, but we are still arguing with insurance over who will pay for it. We really like the provider, so even if insurance won't pay, we'll still go ahead, but it is supposed to be covered!

BF is going better. M seems contented most of the time, though she still can't latch properly due to the tongue tie. I guess we'll have another learning curve after the tongue tie is resolved. We also have bi-weekly occupational therapy because all of her lip, cheek, and neck muscles are tight from the stress of sucking with her tongue-tie. Right now, she won't even turn her head to the left because it's so tight. The exercises are no fun for us, though. She cries every time and we're supposed to do them at least 3 times per day, up to as many times as she eats per day. It's a lot to keep track of! But I am really glad the tongue tie is being taken care of. I really wish it had been done sooner, but the indications early on were that she had good flexibility even with the tongue tie. It didn't become evident that she was having feeding problems until later.

Other than that, we're doing well. DW and I are still sharing one car and working opposite schedules so we don't have childcare expenses. My mom comes in a couple of days a week and looks after M so that DW can get things done and/or catch up on sleep. M sleeps from midnight to about 6 am regularly now, so at least the night shift isn't so bad for us. Sometimes I feel sad and miss the days when she was so tiny and had to eat every few hours around the clock, but I don't miss the sleepless nights!

Here's a recent picture of our happy girl

 

[MamaDragon]

Wish- Two boys teething at the same time?! Wow. As DH says it is both awesome and hard. Awesome because it is over faster but hard because, well, two teething babies!! I hope they are doing alright. You mentioned that T had some congestion and needed an inhaler. Is he doing better?

Miki- I am sorry about your child care situation. I have been there a couple of times and wish I could offer some advice, but I have none. I am hoping things work out favorably for you.

Wicky- What an adorable picture!! Your little one looks so happy. I am sorry to hear about her tight muscles. I hope the exercises work quickly and you do not have to do them any more real soon.

AFM..... My appointment left my kinda in the middle. Good that we have a path forward, but slightly frustrated that I do not have an answer. I just wish you could wrap everything up in a neat bow with all the answers sometimes. I saw a nurse practitioner. She was concerned about other symptoms I have been having outside of the odd periods, and the fact that a midwife friend was concerned enough about what is happening to me to talk me into keeping the appointment worried her a bit more. She decided to have me get some blood work done and consult with one of the doctors there. This is pre-emptive in case my blood work reveals something, and it only helps because all the docs there are qualified to assess baseline fertility issues. Now, it is just a waiting game until I can get the blood work done.

Thank you, ladies, for being so supportive!!

 

[TTC74]

Wish - I can’t imagine! Teething is SO hard. Bella is getting her canines now. Ouch! And, remember, I know it’s hard to say goodbye to the baby phase but now yours boys can actually express their love for you! And they’ll be talking before you know it! I’m listening to a book now called how toddlers thrive. It’s fantastic.

Wicky - shots don’t get better as they age. They’re the worst!

Mama - I know it stinks to be stuck not knowing. Been there. We all have. Fx you get your answers soon! Heck, maybe you’ll even get a BFP prior to the bloodwork!

 

[Wish2BMom]

HAHA yep, both teething! But I have to say, you wouldn't even know Malcolm is teething - he actually surprised us having his pop through first. I thought for sure Timothy was pushing his through first. T, on the other hand, seems to have days when he's crawling out of his skin so I think we've determined that a tooth is not far behind when he's like that. I've said it before, but we are SO lucky with them - they really do not fuss at all unless they are tired/hungry/need something. Otherwise, they are silly, smiling baby boys.

wicky - I'm so glad there is a light at the end of the tunnel for M's tongue tie! Do you know, will there be a few days after the surgery where you have to do something different? T had torticollis, tight muscles on his right side so he was favoring looking right. We had to put him through some PT but he's awesome now - full range and strength on each side. You'll get through it!! Oh, and when I work from home, the boys still go to daycare. There's no possible way I could concentrate on my job if they were home! It just really helps b/c my 'breaks' consist of throwing in laundry, doing dishes, catching up on the stuff that would normally be weekend/night jobs.
Oh, and my boys HATED tummy time at first and yes, it only lasted a couple of minutes. They still aren't huge fans when we do it at the end of the night before bedtime but they last much longer now. I'm sure M's neck tightness doesn't help there either - it'll all come together!
Your pic is SO adorable!! She's just squealing with glee!!

ttc - poor Bella! She must have one bad headache right now! Thank you for the reminder of what's to come. I melt all over the place when M dives in for a 'kiss' and a hug and when T throws his face into my neck for a hug. i'm really just a giant puddle these days!

mama - exactly what TTC said - we've all been there! I hope you start getting some answers soon. I had a few chemicals but they weren't back to back. I've been pregnant a total of 4 times. I had really low AMH so I had to turn to IVF. There is a slew of different stories here so we're here for support, for sure! Wrapping up in a bow - totally. This whole process just goes to show how much of a mystery the human body still is, even to the professionals. Try to stay patient!

 

[TTC74]

Mama - I had low AMH, too. Like almost undetectable. I was saving up for IVF. I started DHEA bc I’d read it was a miracle drug for people who have that problem and it worked! Bottom line - nothing can’t be overcome!

 

[mikihope]

Wish- Thanks for the advice, I think your suggestion is great and that’s exactly what we’ll say to her! Right now, she is really excited that we’re moving so close to her daycare. And she is planning to get 2 babies in, to bring the total to 4. It was the 3 of them previously, but she takes up to 4. So it’s a relief to know that she’s not planning to shut the daycare! Oh, you’re definitely doing better than I am with regards to giving them healthy solid food. I think you’re doing great! I am only using the bought stuff in jars, organic of course. We don’t even have a blender. When we moved here from Singapore, it happened so fast and we couldn’t bring any appliances because of the difference in voltage. Anyway, this all will change when we move into the “new” (circa 1920s, but really charming and well kept) house. We’ll be in Berkeley, and so close to all those places with fresh and organic produce.
I love the stories about your boys! The jealousy thing is just too adorable. Poor little things, I hope that they get past this phase quickly. It must be hard for you to imagine them leaving the baby stage; I am planning to have gummy #2, yet it’s still tough. The good news is that apparently they get even more fun and amazing as time goes on. That is according to my colleague who has a 2+ year old.

Wicky- What an adorable and hilarious photo of M! She’s really cracking up. It’s great that she’s doing so well, and that BF is getting better. I was nostalgic for the early days of newborn life at around that point too, but in my experience, it seems that each point in their growth is so different and so fun. I think it gets easier to deal with the loss of the sweet newborn days when your baby gets more and more hilarious and interactive.
Thanks, finding a decent home in Berkeley for a person who isn’t rolling in money is so hard. We’re so lucky! Yeah, you’re right, I think it’s best we have that talk with her rather than look for another daycare. There is just none like hers, they are so phenomenal with the babies, feed great food, open till 6pm, have 2 cats (like we do at home), etc.

MamaDragon- Sorry that you didn’t get answers at your appointment, waiting is so torturous. When do you get your blood work done? Thanks, and sorry to hear that you’ve been through this sort of child care situation a couple of times, it sucks to go through this just once!

AFM- I’m so relieved that daycare isn’t shutting, and I hope that we have that talk with the daycare lady next week. Fx it all goes well. We love that daycare for gummy! Our loan process has been charging along, and we should close on the house within the first week of September! The house has that 1920s Berkeley house charm, and has been updated enough to make it look clean and pretty. I would be unhappy if they updated it to the point that it looked cookie cutter.

Gummy has become even more interactive and animated. He shouts with laughter at random stuff, and he laughs and shoots off crawling after the cats. He’s pulling up to his knees, and he can straighten his legs, but with his hands lower down… kind of a downward dog position. He does silly things and looks over at me to see if I’m laughing. He’s just so much fun!

 

[Wish2BMom]

miki - pro-tip - buy one of those Nutribullets! They are cheaper, smaller to store, good for shakes and stuff if you want those in the future and Bed, Bath & Beyond always has a 20% off coupon around somewhere!! That's all I do is cut up the fruit or whatever, throw it in there and blend quickly. Easy peasy.
HAHA Gummy's downward dog sounds so funny!! I'm so happy for you that your daycare lady doesn't have plans to close (and actually plans to grow!). That's awesome. Everything is just rolling together!!

Hi to everyone!

we just spent the weekend at the beach in Maine with DH's extended family, had a great time! They all used to do this when DH was a kid and now the cousins are all grown and finally set it back up. Aunts, uncles, cousins - all who hadn't met the boys in person yet. It was a great time. And the boys got to put their toes in the sand for the first time and see the ocean! I think it was a little intimidating But we went to the pier and had good junk food and walked around people watching, played a few games (it's a whole thing with a little amusement park, arcade, carnival games, terrible food, etc) - so fun. We are all going to try to make it an annual thing! This was the extent of our vacations this year so I soaked in as much as possible. And the boys were AWESOME.

Happy Monday everyone!

 

[mikihope]

We didn't even get a chance to talk to her about things, and she closed the daycare again today. After she did that last week, this time because of a bad back, and left us hanging until the end of the day when she texted that they'd keep the daycare open the rest of the week, but at reduced hours.

This time... Text sent at 7:55am. And as usual, there is no guarantee that it will be open tomorrow, just a "I'm going to try my darndest". And the update text will be at the end of the day as usual. I'm pretty much beside myself. I don't know what to do. We almost sent a text saying that our work is suffering and we are unable to find last minute help (and for the one time we miraculously got someone, it cost us $200 for mediocre care) asking her about backup. But DH thinks we have to be careful and not to antagonize her.

DH thinks she is lazy and he has stopped trusting her and wants us to leave. I want to open lines of dialog so that we might be able to solve the issue, and if not, I won't feel regret that we didn't try. Also, I don't want to upset her by just leaving without a word. But DH thinks she might get offended and do things like letting gummy cry or not feeding him fast enough. I find it hard to imagine her doing that, but I guess we'd never know what anyone is capable of. I hate that we're in this situation and I'm in tears and I have to go to work soon.

There is basically no other good option for us regarding in home infant daycare around our work. We'd probably have to find a center, and I don't even know if there will be a spot anywhere. And I was going to use the same person for gummy #2, so it's been extra stressful thinking that this is not working out.

Sorry Wish, I meant to reply to your post but I'm so sad and stressed right now. Sadly, things are still not going right, and it hurts so much when it affects sweet innocent gummy.

 

[Wish2BMom]

aw miki, that sucks! She's so inconsiderate!! I'm officially not a fan of hers - that's very unprofessional and you can't run a business like that. I hope you get to have a conversation with her soon but i'm with your DH and I'd be starting to look for new alternatives. There are great places out there, though I know you're feeling loyal to this one. My boys are in a center and they LOVE their teachers, a couple in particular, and they are loved right back. I'm FB friends with them, one just became our babysitter for us in a couple of weekends. it'll all work out. I don't feel like this woman deserves to hang out with Gummy!!

 

[TTC74]

I’m with Wish Miki. This woman doesn’t deserve your business. And, frankly, I’m with dh. You don’t know what she’s capable of. Just move gummy.

 

[mikihope]

Thanks for having me and gummy’s backs, Wish and TTC! I agree, it’s unprofessional and it is inconsiderate of her. But I still find it hard to think of placing gummy anywhere else. Plus she and the other lady adore him so much.

We sent her the texts in the end, and in them we said that our work is lab based and we can’t work from home, plus we have no family nearby. We ended by saying that we love her daycare and we hope that we can work something out. She said that she understood and that this year has been very bad, and she’s been trying to get another person for backup as the assistant only works from 9 to 5. She asked if 9 to 5 would work in a pinch, if she had to take time off for now.

The mom of the baby who just left her daycare did tell us that it was never this bad, plus her 1st son was in this daycare and she still put her 2nd son in. And she also visited the daycare even after her first son “graduated” when he was 2. So I’m going to give daycare lady a chance and believe her. In the meantime, we signed up for the preschool the boys are now in. It’s a really amazing school, but the wait list is unbelievable. DH put in an application for the infant program when he saw how great it was there. There’s probably no chance of getting in anytime soon, but DH says that we should go if a spot miraculously opens up. They strive for diversity, so gummy might have a chance of getting in earlier. I’m sad just thinking about it, but we have to protect ourselves.

I also dropped an email to another home daycare asking if they had spots, but no reply yet. I couldn't find any others that were contenders, including centers. I couldn’t put gummy into a center when I went back to work because I started looking too late, and all of them seem to have ridiculous wait lists!

 

[Wish2BMom]

i'm so glad you're covering yourself and moving on a few other options. Doesn't hurt and will help you in the long run! You def don't have to be abrupt about it but having a plan B helps. And I'm glad you talked with her a bit too - at least she knows her impact and would know any reason you chose to leave, it wouldn't be a surprise.

 

[TTC74]

I can relate to the waitlist Miki. We’ve been on one waitlist since I was 5 months pregnant! Still no spots open.

 

[Spudtastic]

Just popping into say hi. I do read all your updates.

I am still in England but DH wants to go back to NZ in a month. I have lived in NZ since I was 24 (apart from this last year) and I will be 40 in a few months. Dh has always promises me 2 to 5 years in england. I have asked to stay another year but he says no. If I didn't have the girls I would just stay. I don't think he is being fair to me tbh but now he says he thinks his mum will be dead in a year. She does have dementia and is on a slow decline but has not been told by any doctors she will be dead soon. So if don't go back with the girls he will resent me. But if I go back I will be heartbroken and a little bit broken.
I miss my family so much. I don't want to go back. So I don't know what to do.

We have just had another lovely motorhome trip around Europe. The weather has been brilliant. The girls did get a bit over sightseeing though lol.

 

[Wish2BMom]

hey Spud! I love when you pop in!
Wow, I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I guess I'd go to NZ but seriously have a talk with DH about returning at some point, perhaps once his mom passes. Then maybe he won't feel so tied to NZ and will feel freer to move to UK. I dunno - I wish you luck, though. We only live once and you should be able to make that life wherever you feel best.

TTC that's insane! Thankfully we found a great place (accredited and all that) with no wait. Actually out of all the places we looked at or were going to look at, I think only one was fully booked up and we'd have had to wait until September (next month).

I hope everyone has a great long weekend! Ask, I hope you can pop in soon!!

 

[Ask4joy]

Beatrix Belle was born Friday, August 24th at 3:40am via unplanned c-section after a 24+ hour induction and 3.5 hours of pushing (to no avail). I will share more details about my labor later - it was rough but in the end we are all well.

Beatrix was transferred to another hospital’s NICU the day after she was born due to jaundice, anemia and tachypnia (fast breathing). It was determined that she was suffering from blood type incompatibility - my O+ blood type had created antibodies against her A+ blood type and was degrading her blood, resulting in the above symptoms. She received a blood transfusion and was under phototherapy lights for about 2.5 days. It was really devastating for us to see her hooked up to all of the machines and under the lights not being held and cuddled. Today we were discharged and are finally home and she is doing well. I will share more details later but wanted to update.

I am so beyond in love with my baby girl. She is my whole world and everything and more I ever imagined. She is nursing like a champ and sleeping well. She is such a good baby! Sooooo happy to be home with her!

 

[terripeachy]

I love her name and she is just adorable. Congratulations, mom!

 

[mikihope]

Welcome Beatrix Belle! What a cutie! Glad that momma and baby are doing well now, despite that rough start. Enjoy your sweet bundle of joy

 

[mikihope]

Wish- Thanks, we’re looking into the nutribullet right now. Your boys sound like they had a blast at the beach! Gummy was happy kicking his feet in the ocean the first time, but he looked a bit afraid the second time. It’s definitely different from what they’re accustomed to! Wow, lucky you, you had a great experience with finding childcare.

TTC- Wow, that’s a long waitlist! I guess it’s probably just as bad over here, though. We seem to have a supply/demand problem here with childcare, and the only “quick” options are in-home childcare which sometimes have slots that open up.

Glad you popped in again, Spud! I’m so sorry that you’re so homesick, I wish I had an answer for you. I hope that DH compromises and meets you halfway on this, for now. As for the future, I hope that you can somehow find your way back to England.

AFM- I feel much better now regarding gummy’s daycare, even if we really haven’t found a solution to the situation. At the time, we were also stressing out about our current lease. The condo manager sent us a curt email saying that we had to find tenants or we were responsible for the entire lease (we’d just renewed in July). She is a very lazy and sneaky person, and I was dreading dealing with this issue. Our condo complex is super easy to rent out, so she was being threatening for no reason. We wrote back that we’d find tenants and show the place, but could she help by using one of the ads she’s used in the past? And then we added that we would be helping by “mitigating damages”. My plan was to show by using that language that we were aware of the law here in California. We also pointed out that we were probably on a month to month lease as she hadn’t replied to our renewal request email in time. Basically, her laziness had worked in our favor. She put out an ad immediately without replying to our email. I’m sure she’ll want to take our entire security deposit for no good reason like she did to our neighbors, but we’ll try to fight that too.

Gummy has suddenly become more like a little boy, it’s like he’s way more aware and he talks and looks at us different. His guffaw is also much more hearty and it gets pretty crazy when he sees the cats and takes off after them. He’s able to stand while holding on to furniture, but he can’t pull himself up yet. I think he’s starting to get separation anxiety, though. He cried briefly when I left daycare yesterday morning