BFP Chasers...........Feel free to join....

[mikihope]

Oh yes, forgot to add that even though I'm less stressed about my job, I'm currently really pissed off that my boss hasn't made progress getting a job posting to hire me on as a full time staff. I've asked about the status 3 times already, so I feel weird asking again. I'm so tired of my measly postdoc pay, money is really tight and I work so hard. And I'm being paid a fraction of what I'm worth, and I feel like I'm being taken for granted. But I love this group and the lab in general, so I'm waiting around for them to move forward on the hire.

 

[TTC74]

Got an email from the clinic saying they thawed and biopsied our embies today! I was expecting to wait another 3-4 weeks! Another week, and we should know the results. Wow... I'm feeling a bit unprepared to jump back on the IVF crazy train.

Sending many prayers and positive vibes your way Miki!

 

[Wish2BMom]

ugh sorry about AF again, TTC

miki - OOOHHH!! I can't wait to hear the results and get you going on this next phase!! So exciting!
re: daycare, yeah, at my work we call it 'the dreaded call from school/daycare'. I have a lot of Moms on my team and we all are living that every week. So at least it's understood when i say 'it's my turn, my husband took the child last time'. And same here with the temping happies - they tack on another degree too and the child can't come back if they are over 101 and they are supposed to stay out for 24 hrs. But the boys will also sometimes just spike a little fever too when they seem fine so we just don't tell the daycare. If they are fine the next morning, they go in.
Girl, your work needs to treat you right! i'm sure they are trying to take as much advantage of the situation as possible - money talks! but I'm sure they'd be lost without you. You don't seem to be one to go in the way of threats or ultimatums, though, but I don't think it's outrageous for you to ask again. They are only going to look out for themselves, unfortunately, so only you can look out for you. If you had the conversation, you could even just say it as you did - money is tight, we just moved, etc etc and I'm going to have to look elsewhere if it's not in the budget to hire me on (can make it less personal, more about the business plans), though I don't want to b/c I love it here. I say all of this like I have had a conversation like this but I never have. I hope they hire you on instead b/c it's a giant pain in the butt to look for a new job.

 

[mikihope]

Thanks so much, TTC! Sorry that AF showed up again.

 

[mikihope]

Thanks, Wish. I haven't even had the time to worry about the results, now that I have a feisty toddler on my hands! I guess that's a good thing, since the waiting is always so horrible.

Oh yes, the dreaded call or text from daycare. Luckily your team understands, that should help your stress level! I too have decided to not say anything if Kai somehow has a temperature spike and isn't actually sick. I think our stress level dropped a notch when the director agreed to let Kai come to daycare the next day when he weirdly spiked a temp for no reason. I'm glad they showed they can be reasoned with. I could tell he was fine, he hadn't been ill prior, but they measured his temp because he had been playing with his food instead of eating it (he was playful and otherwise his normal self). His temp dropped to normal in less than an hour after we picked him up, and he was perfectly fine!

Sigh, you're right, I'm not the sort to set ultimatums or threaten my bosses with leaving. I tried to bring it up again, and my boss said oh yes, this is completely on his plate right now and he needs to get going on talking to HR. It's just the first step to even trying to figure out a position, and it still hasn't been done. I did as you wrote, said that money is tight because of family/house/etc, and I can't live on a postdoc salary anymore. I couldn't say the looking elsewhere part, it was just too hard for me. I have this tendency to undervalue myself, and I have in the past been abused/used by bosses. But my current boss is really nice and great to work with, so I'm going to have to trust that he really wants to hire me on, and is just swamped with work!

The weekend is here again... where did the week go? Hope everyone has a good one!

 

[Wish2BMom]

I'm so glad you said something to your boss again! That's the hardest part - speaking up at all!! Go YOU! I'm sure he can read between the lines when you say you can't live off of your current salary. Clearly that means something has to change. I hope he's doing right by you. He did when you were pregnant and I hope he continues. It's so annoying to have to get out there and find a new job.

Timothy goes in for his tubes tomorrow morning. I hope he's as much of a champ as his brother. Though I think he's going to scream when they take him away. Malcolm was cool to go with whomever. Timothy's not like that. And he's been so much of a Daddy's boy lately, like rebuffing me a lot, I hope he's comforted by seeing me when he gets out vs DH. I want him to feel as comforted as possible!!

how are all of the TTC ladies doing?

TTC , speaking of jobs - how's DH's new job going?

 

[mikihope]

Thanks so much for the job support, Wish! You made me feel better about it. It's really a stressful thing for me, asking for something better than I've been given. Poor little Timothy, I hope he copes fine when they take him for surgery. I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow, may his surgery go really well!

Argh, we got a notice on Friday that there were cases of Hand Foot and Mouth in Kai's daycare room! I've been checking his temp even more than usual, luckily he likes the ear thermometer thingy.

We finally did a bike ride with Kai on Sunday! We had the trailer but never got round to it. I was the one who pulled him behind my bike. We never quite got back into serious cycling after my cycling accident 3 years ago in 2016. It was Mother's Day (I hope it's ok to mention that, I know it's a tough day when struggling with TTC), and I remember thinking (while bedridden) that I missed my chance to ever be a mother as I was too old and my body was broken. In December 2107, Kai was born! It was so special to be back on the bike and pulling him along with me.

Got the PGS testing results the day yesterday... 7 out of 8 tested normal! But only one of the normals is a boy, and I kind of had my heart set on another boy. I think I just want another adorable boy like Kai So we're transferring the boy embie first, it's graded 6AB. I'm praying we're lucky again, like the first time! In the meantime, I'm trying to keep an open mind as to having a girl instead, in case we have to try again.

Fx'ed also for those TTCing!

 

[Wish2BMom]

Amazing!!! 7/8 is awesome!! My fingers are so crossed for you!! So now what - when does your cycle start?? I'm so excited for you!!
Ugh, yes - I think we've been fortunate that they haven't had a case of H, F & M at the daycare since we've been there - at least not in their room. But as they get older and less sheltered, it's bound to happen. I'm dreading it!!

Congrats on the bike ride!! I'm sure it was so symbolic for you to get out there with him!! Did he love it?

Timothy did well enough yesterday! He didn't cry when they took him from me - he was already in this car thing that they have (they have those Radio Flyer wagons and a push sports car thing - I was taking him around in the sports car for about 45 mins beforehand and they just switched out with me and wheeled him away). They were so good - they were blowing bubbles, I gave him his 2 stuffed animals to bring. I don't think he really knew what was going on and just went with it. They even flavored the air in the mask they put on his face to put him out - orange flavored! But coming out of the anesthesia, he was an absolute BEAR. He's so strong too, it was a legit workout for me. He was pushing my neck, stepping on my stomach to push away, just all out of sorts. So we packed up as quickly as possible and left b/c the nurse said they start to do better once they see they are leaving. He did calm down for the most part but then threw another physical fit when trying to get him into his car seat. He hates that thing now for the most part and it's like wrestling an alligator. A really really super strong alligator. BUT once we were home, he was all better and happy again. We played while DH finished out his morning and then he and I switched. T went down for a nap at 11:45 or so and didn't wake up until about 3. He needed that. I'm so curious to see how much more he starts to talk now - both ears were infected so he must feel so much relief having them drain. He's back on antibiotics but hopefully this is it for a long time!! He already started to attempt to say 'Mickey' when he has his Mickey Mouse doll! I'm really hoping this helps him so much. And then we have a follow up for Malcolm next Friday to talk about his chronic ear infections he has had since the tubes and hopefully get that poor guy some relief too.
The good thing that came out of all of yesterday was that I got a little bonding time in with T 1:1 - he's definitely coming to me a little more again. but that also means that I have 2 of them fighting over who gets picked up or who sits on my lap (T would sit on my lap for a story and M would come over and sit on the only open space on my knee and T was pushing him off!! sibling rivalry!) and it makes me SO sad to have to say No to one of them! Especially now that M and I have bonded so much lately!! Ugh! Mom guilt is REAL!

 

[mumof1+1]

Well the witch arrived last week for me so I’m back to ssdd again! Currently on cd6. I’ll be using a clearblue connected this month and possibly next month too as it came with 25 sticks. Based on lmp and cycle average from other apps it says to start testing tomorrow with estimated witch due 10th June. Not hopeful as Hope is lost right now...

 

[mikihope]

I’m so glad that it went well for T, Wish! It’s so awesome how they make it fun before surgery for the LOs. It must have been a relief that T was happy and didn’t cry when they took him from you. And I’m so happy that you get 1:1 bonding time with T again. How adorable, having the 2 boys fighting over your lap. We have the opposite problem, with Kai going between DH's and my lap. He brings a book, jumps on a lap, listens to maybe 3 words and rushes off to the other parent’s lap. Rinse, repeat.

I hope that you get some help for poor little M's ears next week! Thanks, the bike ride was definitely symbolic for me, and in the next weeks we want to work up to going back to where I crashed. I’ve never been back since that day. Oh, I’m delaying the start of the FET cycle by a couple of weeks because I want my RE to do the transfer. He’ll be out for knee surgery for a while. So I’m on BCPs until next week, and then I’ll start the cycle when AF shows! I’ve started worrying about the blast we'd like to transfer, which is fully hatched. I thought that it was a good thing, but of course google shows me that it could be a bad thing after all. Argh, I have to stop reading that stuff!

Mum- What's ssdd? Fx’ed for this cycle! We’ll do the hoping for you!

 

[TTC74]

Good luck mum! It’s O day for me. I’ll try this cycle and maybe a couple more. I’m not sure. As I approach my 45th birthday, I am more and more resigned to just enjoying my Bella (which of course I do very much). I’m just not sure when i will finally bite the bullet. I do know that DH wants to start testosterone replacement but that we’ve put that on hold. I’m having more and more perimenopause symptoms. So, I don’t know what, if anything, I’m ready to do about that. I’m going to start by getting my CD3 bloods done so that I know how much of a lost cause it is and then go from there.

 

[Wish2BMom]

Mum - I'm so sorry. it's such a crappy day when AF shows up. Miki's right - we'll do the hoping for you. I hope you're feeling better now that a few days have passed. You've got this!! keep the faith!
I need help with 'ssdd' too! I have forgotten (or never knew) what what is!

TTC - that's a really great idea to get your cd3 bloods done. Then maybe that'll help you with the current unknown. Keep us posted but until then, fingers are always crossed.

miki - gosh i would hope the Dr would say anything about concerns about the embryo already having hatched! yes yes yes try to stay off of Google! That's the most hypocritical thing I'll ever write b/c I'm all about the Google research.
Oh I know I keep saying this but I'm so excited for you to start! I really hope things happen right away and this isn't a long, drawn out experience.
Good luck on working your way back to the spot of the accident. I'm sure so many emotions will be flooding you. You're so strong, though, and I know you can see how far you've come and how that crash didn't take you down. You healed, you still gave birth and you're cleared to do it again! It's one of the hardest things on a woman's body and you DID IT! Crash be damned!!

 

[mumof1+1]

Awww thanks guys. That means a lot. At the moment unfortunately I’m not feeling any better but I’ve been suffering with headaches for the past 2 weeks. I just wanna be pregnant again and everything go ok. Surely that’s not too much to ask....

Ssdd- same shit different day haha. Sorry my bad haha

 

[mikihope]

TTC- Fx’ed for you too. Whatever the results, I hope for a happy outcome for you and your family.

Wish- Wow, thanks for your kind words. The human body is an amazing thing, I can’t believe how I could come back from such a bad crash. And thanks for helping me feel better and less obsessive about the embryo and my chances! I need to stay off Google, not sure how. I guess having a feisty toddler helps. How’s T’s speech now, is he saying more words? It’s so cute that he says ‘Mickey’!
Thanks, I’m excited to start the cycle too. I’m so old now, I really hope that things happen right away too!

Mum- Haha, I love it! Ssdd… so true. I do hope that you get your wish of being pregnant again and having everything go well.

So this weekend, we drove down to Monterey and stayed overnight. We actually have not been anywhere overnight with Kai since we did that month-long Singapore/Mauritius trip last June! We got a place with a separate room for him, and he amazingly went down for his nap easily, and slept like a champ at night too. We had such an amazingly fun holiday, and Kai got to walk on the Carmel beach and visit the Monterey aquarium. It’s so cool that he’s now old enough that he actually reacts with joy and excitement to all the new experiences and places!

 

[TTC74]

Am I losing my mind or is this the start of something at 9 DPO?

 

[mumof1+1]

Am I losing my mind or is this the start of something at 9 DPO?

View attachment 1061642

Sure looks like it very well could be!! Good luck xx

Mum- Haha, I love it! Ssdd… so true. I do hope that you get your wish of being pregnant again and having everything go well.

Thank you hun. Glad I made you chuckle! Approx 8/9 days to wait. Won’t be testing unless I get any real positive symptoms however...... or trying to wait anyway haha xx

 

[TTC74]

The line is light but pink today. Fingers crossed for progression.

 

[mikihope]

I see a clear line, TTC! Fx'ed!

Mum- Here's hoping that you get some good news at the end of that 8/9 day wait!

How was everyone's memorial day weekend? We took Kai on a little bike ride by the marina again, and I pushed harder and screwed up my (bad from the crash) knee. Ugh. Here are photos of Kai in the trailer. He loved it, and fell asleep during the ride! This is unusual for him as he's not a stroller napper. I've also included a couple of other photos, one of him sitting on our stairs and another on a ride out in the neighborhood on the buggy while in daycare.

The RE's surgery has been delayed a bit, so I'm still on the bcp until early next week. Waiting again!

Oh, DH was so excited that Kai said his first French word today. But I think it wasn't a real word, he was just copying DH. We shall see...

 

[Wish2BMom]

Look at that emerging line, TTC!!! FX'ed!!

mum - hang in there! please keep us posted!

miki - omg, I can't take the cuteness! You must continually want to nibble those cheeks! I"m so sorry you messed up your knee though! Something an Advil can take care of or are you on crutches? bummer about the pushed out transfer. I can't wait!
Memorial Day weekend was fun for us - NO SICK KIDS! We took the boys to the playground a couple of the days and they loved it! they had a lot of outdoor time b/c it was FINALLY nice weather here. It was gorgeous. So we played in our backyard too. They love it, they always want to go 'soutside' now! That's how Malcolm says it. They are really starting to talk now too - saying 'cracker', 'socks', 'outside', 'baby', 'yellow', 'milk'(though what M says for milk sounds nothing like 'milk') - all randoms but they are really getting there and it's hilarious!

well I just tried to upload some of their school photos but they are too big so here are some from the weekend!

 

[Wish2BMom]

TTC I see that temp going back up!! updates!!!!