BFP Chasers...........Feel free to join....

[mumof1+1]

mum - hang in there! please keep us posted

Thank you hun. Used clearblue connected this month so know when ovulation was. Even managed to dtd on ov day too. Currently 6dpo and luckily we’re away for the weekend which is a huge bonus as I’ve felt pretty nauseous on and off all day. Desperately trying not to read anything into it and refuse to buy tests out here when I have some wide 10miu strips waiting at home! Torture but needs must. Really want to try hold out until I have some really positive symptoms or af doesn’t show... cb connected claims af due 7th. P Tracker says 10th so my official testing day will be 10th.... or 11th.... hopefully. Keep your fingers crossed for me guys!!!

 

[mikihope]

Wish- Your boys are adorable! They look like they’re having the time of their lives… how fun to have two adorable little boys. That’s my dream for now, but I guess I’m getting used to the idea of having a girl if that’s in the cards for us. Yay for no sick kids! You needed a break from all of that. I’m impressed that your boys are saying ‘cracker’ and ‘outside’. Sounds like they’re starting their language explosion!
Thanks, Kai’s cheeks are truly pinchable. The photos don’t even do them justice. He has a round head and super round cheeks, which makes him still look kind of baby-like. I keep forgetting what a big boy he is now!
Oh, I’m not on crutches as I walk around fine, but my knee hurts bad going up and down stairs since the accident.

TTC- Hoping for a line progression for you!

Mum- Good luck! The waiting is so tough…

Today, we finally went cycling at the place I crashed at. It’s a beautiful place, hilly and right beside a picturesque reservoir. I didn’t feel bad at all, all I felt was happiness… out there with DH and Kai. My knee held up really well even on the upslopes, and it seems even better than before. I really hope that I finally manage to rehab this knee. Strangely, I think that not cycling actually made my knee worse! It was a great step forward, and I am so grateful I finally made it back there with my little family.

 

[mumof1+1]

The waiting really is tough. Thought I may have been I. With half a chance this month as both boobs felt tender yesterday, I’ve been really grouchy, had some mild cramping last night but stupidly tested last night at only 7dpo. Who was I bloody kidding???!!! Boobs don’t feel don’t enter today so I’ll hang in a few days now as it’s such a disappointment seeing those stark whites

Hope everyone’s doing ok and hanging on in there. I feel like I’m crumbling. Tempted to give it up as a bad job when af arrives and take the shock if it ever even happens again

 

[Wish2BMom]

miki - thank youuuuu!!! They do just melt our hearts. I just want to eat them constantly. I actually read an article that said that's a true, real feeling - we get so overcome with love that it overstimulates that part of our brain and turns violent for a quick second, but I guess serotonin or something also kicks in and stops us. (I think that's how it said it worked). Weird, huh??
Yes!! Words or trying to say words like crazy now. Timothy is nailing 'yellow' and it's by far the cutest thing. He rounds out the whole W at the end so his lips are almost pursed when he finishes the word. And he means it too - out of all of the little magnet letters on the fridge, there was just one yellow one. He said YELLOWWW and pulled that one off! We have a 'colors' book they always flip through too and he mimicked 'purple' yesterday. He's not far off from really talking. Malcolm is trying his hardest too! 'Nana' for banana, 'socks', 'sit' (when they need to sit in the high chairs for eating - which they both seem to despise lately - M will point at T's chair and say 'sit!'). It's all crazy and I love it. Last night, M asked to be picked up for the umpteenth time and my elbow was killing me (I think I'm getting 'golf' elbow which is just a strain on the inside of it from picking them up and carrying them with a 90 degree arm a lot) and I said something like 'when are you going to not want to be picked up?' But then I stopped myself and out loud said 'sooner than later, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can...'. I get SO SAD at everything that reminds me of how quickly they are about to grow up and away from us.

I'm SO happy for you about going to the crash site and feeling nothing but joy!! Way to go! Glad that's off your shoulders now! Now for this dang knee!
From what I understand, baby girls will melt your heart just as much and to see Kai with a little sister he can make laugh and protect, while she just thinks he hung the moon? You'll be filled with happiness either way. Oh and to see a little feminine version of Kai's face with little pigtails?? Swoon!!

TTC - i'm so sorry to see the new chart started. I thought you were getting your 2nd miracle!

mum - girl, I know that feeling!! I have no advice. B/c I know if you get AF, you'll process it and next month will be a new month b/c you want it so much. Maybe try to take the summer off and BD like crazy teenagers just for fun? Remind me of how old you are/how long you've been trying again?

 

[mumof1+1]

mum - girl, I know that feeling!! I have no advice. B/c I know if you get AF, you'll process it and next month will be a new month b/c you want it so much. Maybe try to take the summer off and BD like crazy teenagers just for fun? Remind me of how old you are/how long you've been trying again?

I guess soo. It’s just disheartening isn’t it.
If only!!! We’re both 39, I’m 40 next month. This is only cycle 4 after mc in Feb. Only took 5 months from coil removal to conceive in December which is likely why I’m so bummed as I’d hoped it wouldn’t take so long... xx

 

[TTC74]

Try not to stress too much mum. I had my rainbow toddler at 41 but it took 2.5 years to conceive her with two losses. It happens at our age. It just takes time. More time than we’d like no doubt.

 

[Wish2BMom]

it's terribly disheartening, yet somehow we muster up the courage to do it again month after month. It's a head trip for sure. And even after you have the kids - hard to get your head unwound around it!

 

[mumof1+1]

I know. I think I need to just stop the whole trying malarkey and live and if it happens then so be it. Just keep thinking, with the run of bad luck we’re constantly getting we’re likely to just not get it at all. Maybe it’s something I really need to consider and accept.... I don’t know.

Thank you ladies xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

big hugs to you, my dear!

 

[mikihope]

Hugs to you, mum! This journey is so difficult, I hope that you feel more upbeat soon.

Hugs to you too, TTC. I hope that you're feeling ok!

Wish- Oh yes, I can relate to the violent feelings towards such extreme cuteness! I think I read that same study too, I had to find out why we react in such crazy ways toward cuteness.
You paint such a cute picture of your talking boys! Are they talking to each other? I find that so cute, toddlers chatting away together. Kai has a decent number of words that I recognize, but he doesn't call me mama! He used to laugh (like he was purposely refusing to say 'mama') and call me 'dada' or 'ada'/'ana', but I don't think he has a name for me now. I feel so left out, DH and the cats all have labels!

Thanks so much, I feel so relieved that the bike crash nastiness is all finally truly behind me. We can now cycle there as a little family, and that is so wonderful. I guess I can imagine Kai with a baby sister, but I imagine him smashing her like he smashes the cats! I actually have a hard time imagining doing girl stuff with a little girl. I've always longed to play catch and all sorts of ball games, climb trees, etc with my kids. Then again, my mom was the one who taught me how to climb trees and ride a bike. So I can imagine raising a tomboy, but it's hard to imagine anything else!

 

[Rainshiny]

Oh my, hello! I haven’t read very far back, but Hi Mikki, TTC and Wish and welcome Mum!

My twins are almost 3 1/2, can you imagine??? And they have conversations all-the-time. And sing and dance together, and throw all their toys in a heap in the living room together... lol. Mikki if you had a girl I’m sure she would be perfect! But I hear you, I was the opposite. With all sisters I didn’t know what to do with a boy. But mine is the sweetest funnest ever. Do you think you could warm up to the idea? And hey, did you get your calendar yet?

 

[Wish2BMom]

RAIN!!!! How ARE you??? You sound amazing, as do your twins!! Tell us more!! How's DW? How are your jobs? Plans for the summer?

miki - oh thank you for sharing that you don't have a label! I don't either!! And yes, I feel very left out! Cat, dogs, DH and Grampa even all have labels! I sometimes hear a 'Mama' but they don't call to me with it.
And I couldn't agree more with you about having a girl but I had NO idea about what to do with a boy b/c I come from all women. I am not a girly type - I played softball and played catch with my Dad. I ended up a pitcher b/c of him! And a good one! My closest cousin was a boy and my 'sibling' for the first few years of my life so I definitely played with mud, climbed trees - I didn't know what to do with a doll. So 'boys' actually fit me so much more than I thought, but I was planning on doing all of those things with a little girl. So I think you'd be ok. And if she does like dolls - I think you're the kind of mom that will just roll up her sleeves and have a little tea party and figure it out along the way!
And all of this is not to say that if my sons pick up a doll, I won't know what to do. Their favorite toys are their stuffed animals so they have softer sides too. I think you just introduce them to as much as you can and nurture what they end up being drawn to!

Yes, the boys talk to each other a little. There is SO MUCH rivalry between them, though, that it's less common for them to talk with each other than fight with each other. When we put them to bed at night, they babble and giggle a bit before laying down. Overall they both seem more focused on us than each other. I wonder how we can get that to change a little or if it'll change on its own. Rain - any insight there?

 

[mikihope]

I’m so happy to hear from you, Rain! Wow, your twins are almost 3.5 years already! You must be having so much fun with them. My colleague has a son this age and he says he’s loving it. I love the sound of your two playing and singing and throwing stuff in a heap together. I think that helps me imagine a situation where Kai has a baby sister. I think I’m warming up to the idea! No calendar yet, I’m waiting for the case manager to give me one as I started just before the weekend. She seems really non proactive, the only reason why this hasn’t been full of delays is that I ask lots of questions before the potential delays happen.

Wish- Oh no, you don’t have a label too! I hope that our boys will be calling us ‘mama’ soon. Maybe we’ll regret wishing for this when they start whining for ‘mama’ all the time! I wonder if it’s age-appropriate for your boys to not play together so much, and it’s something that they do more as they get older? I think that’s true for toddlers in general, so maybe that’s why? I’m envious that they snuggle their stuffed animals, that's so adorable. Kai likes to bite the nose, hold on to the nose with his mouth, and walk around making goofy muffled sounds with any stuffed animal we give him.

My closest cousin was a boy too! And all the kids that were my age in the neighborhood/family friends were boys. I had no dolls when growing up. I was a tomboy, and still am really ungirly. It’s so cool that you were a pitcher. My dad was an amazing student athlete with trophies for all kinds of sports (held the school record in Singapore for javelin for 30 years before it was finally broken), my mom's also great at sports, so my sister and I are pretty naturally good at whatever sport we try. I adore sports, and I can’t help hoping that my kids will too. Kai’s throwing a ball in front of himself so that he can run up to it and kick/dribble it around, and has been throwing balls overhand to me since he was around 10 months old, and it's great. But I think you’re right, I’d definitely get right into the tea party sort of thing if that’s what my kid(s) want. I do find it fun to do these things with LOs anyway.

I can’t believe that I’ve started an FET cycle already. It’s really surreal! I have 4 estrogen patches on right now, as I need a high dose of estrogen to grow my lining. I had issues with thin lining the last time, so I’m doing all that stuff to thicken it. I’m more detached this time around, I think because I have a rambunctious toddler to deal with. It’s fun, but tiring stuff. I’m trying not to imagine what it’s like with two!

 

[mumof1+1]

Well af arrived for me. On Saturday morning just as predicted. Oh well. To be honest I wasn’t shocked, a little gutted but it is what it is. If it’s going to happen it will I guess. Every miracle takes time...

 

[Wicky78]

Hi Everyone!

It's been too long since I last checked in. With my stepmom visiting for a month, things got hectic, but now we're in more of a usual schedule again. Plus work isn't as crazy busy as it was during the spring, so I have time to myself during the day, here and there.

TTC and Mum, so sorry to see you're starting another month. It's especially hard when the symptoms seem like they might mean something positive, or a test has a squinter line. I know I got my hopes up so much in one cycle that I felt really dejected because I started thinking it would never happen. But then, it did, and all the worrying and watching from ttc was kind of washed away in my mind. I hope you both get good news soon!

Rain - good to see you! I can't believe the twins are 3 1/2 already. They must be so much fun!

TTC - where do things stand with the possible surgery you needed? When I was last here, you were waiting to meet with the doctor to determine if surgery was needed and when that would happen. I hope all is well. Surgery isn't fun, but I've found it's not as scary as I once thought. Glad to see that your DGD is doing well and that you had a great visit (I know that was ages ago).

Miki - I am so excited for you starting your FET cycle!!! I know it's a stressful process, but you seem to be handling all the waiting and complications so well, thus far. Maybe you're right that having a toddler to keep you busy helps take your mind off of it! I can't imagine trying to manage all the dates and appointments and schedules with a toddler, though. I was also so happy for you that you were able to bike at the site of your crash and feel nothing but joy. Hearing your story, you have definitely come such a long way. I hope Kai loves biking as much as you do, so you can do it together for a long time. By the way, he is just so adorable! Those cheeks are just so squishy! And I agree with Wish that a little girl who looks like Kai but with pigtails would be totally adorable. No matter what your next child is like, I'm sure you will love him/her because he/she is your baby and that will allow you to figure out how to connect. I can't wait to find out how things go with your FET cycle!!!

Wish - the boys look so cute and maybe a bit mischievous! I bet they keep you running, with all their energy and (it sounds like) strength. I hope their ears are all doing better between the medical care and better weather. It's amazing that they are saying so many words! But no title for you, yet. I saw a comic strip about parenting a couple of months ago that depicted the difference between hearing "mama" the first time and then the millionth time. It was pretty funny and probably accurate, but I'm sure your heart will melt when your boys begin calling you something specific!

I have a ton of updates, so I'll post them separately.

 

[Wicky78]

So I think the last time I updated everyone was right before M turned a year old, or at least right before her birthday party (which was a week later). She did really well at her party and seemed to enjoy herself. The photos of her with cat ears and then in her highchair are from the party. She didn't seem to know what to do with the smash cake, though. She just painted with the icing. I had to feed her a few bites of the cake because she didn't try to eat it herself. Holy cow, did she have a sugar high that day!!! But we all had a great time.

Let's see... 12 month stats were 17 lb, 9 oz and 28.15 inches tall. She made it squarely onto the growth chart for both! She wasn't crawling yet at that point, so they sent us back to PT in addition to OT. There is some minor concern over her flat spot on her head, but I'm not sure if they will want to do the helmet or if PT can help. I'm crossing my fingers for no helmet, but I guess I'd rather have the helmet than have her live with the flat head forever.

She began crawling "commando" style (according to the OT) about the end of April, beginning of May. She hasn't moved up to regular crawling, but she has gotten faster and more agile, even though she's on her belly and mostly using her arms to pull herself around. It's kind of cute and funny to watch! This week, she began pulling herself up to stand and my mom actually got a photo of it that first time! The same day (Saturday), she also said "Hi, Mama!" to my DW as clear as a bell, when DW came home from work. It's the first time she's said anything like mom, mommy, or mama, and she definitely meant it, as she looked right at DW whens he said it. So cute! I'm still waiting for her to address me, though...

This weekend, we start mommy and me swim classes at the local Y. It should be fun, as I love being in the water and she seems to love splashing and playing during her baths. I'm not expecting her to get much out of the class, other than not being afraid of water so she can learn basic swimming skills when she's a little older. It should be cute, though, with all those 6-18 month olds!

I've included several recent photos. I just couldn't pick which ones I liked best! LOL

 

[TTC74]

Miki- No surgery needed here!

Wicky- she’s adorable! Mommy and me swimming classes sound great!

Bella has started tumbling.

 

[Wish2BMom]

mum - I'm so sorry to hear. How are you doing? What are you thinking is next? Yes, could not agree more - so much has to line up correctly, it's a miracle anyone gets pregnant. Yet...we're overpopulating the earth! how is that??

so many returns, my heart can't take it! So good to see you too, Wicky!!
WOW what a great update! And pics of M! She's SO adorable!! I love the description of the commando crawl - hey, as long as she's getting to where she needs to be! Malcolm always had a textbook crawl but Timothy's was a 'broken-legged bear' crawl most of the time. He was the first one to walk, though, so it was really just a go-between for him until he figured that out. I love that she said 'Hi Mama!' too!!! I wonder if we are all the ones that are 'the nurturers' to our babies and they feel they don't "need" a name for us just yet b/c we are just always right there when needed? I dunno. Anyway - Malcolm has been saying 'Mama' quite a bit lately so I think I finally have a title from at least one of them! and I think you're both right - we'll rue the day soon but for now, I love it!
How was the Stepmom stay? I hope everything went well. A month?? holy moly. My folks are coming up for a week in a couple of weeks to watch the boys at the end of that week while we take a quick romp over to Vegas. But things are definitely more scatterbrained when they are here.
Re: the helmet - I'm sure this is a doctor-by-doctor thing but they had told us that helmets would be needed before 10m b/c the soft spots of the skull start fusing after that. So I hope PT can definitely help little M! Timothy still has a slight flat spot but really only we know it's there and can only tell in the bath when I wash his hair and feel it. No one else would be able to tell.

miki - WAHOO for starting your FET!! 4 patches? wow! are you feeling any different with all of that extra hormone? Please keep us updated! I want to relive through you! Though yes - I can totally see how you're very much distracted this time b/c of Kai!
The boys have totally started to play and interact more together now too. I do think that it's just a general awareness of toddlers - you're right. The pediatrician even said last visit that they are 100% self-involved at this point. But now M will laugh at T if he's doing something goofy. M has become a big nose-booper and he wants to boop Timothy's nose too. Oh and don't get me wrong - the usual position of their stuffed animals is in their mouths, on the nose, walking around making crazy sounds just like Kai! This is mainly Malcolm, though. T will actually walk around just holding his stuffed animals. Their other big 'toy' are books too, which we LOVE about them right now! That's basically all we do for an hour before bedtime is read and reread all the books they have in their room, around bath time and brushing teeth and all that.

TTC - omg, it seems I STILL cannot handle Bella's curls!! she's so cute! how does she like tumbling? I think the boys would like it. We go to My Gym and they like that stuff and already love doing forward rolls and having us flip them around. So glad you don't need surgery!!

 

[Wicky78]

Oh my gosh, TTC! Those curls are just adorable!!! M has such stick straight hair for now. Maybe she'll get a little curl when it grows out. I don't know how you stand looking at that adorable little girl every day! LOL. She is so brave, standing on that balance beam that's higher off the ground than she is tall. I'm very impressed! And yay for you that no surgery is needed!

 

[mumof1+1]

mum - I'm so sorry to hear. How are you doing? What are you thinking is next? Yes, could not agree more - so much has to line up correctly, it's a miracle anyone gets pregnant. Yet...we're overpopulating the earth! how is that??

Thank you. I’m not doing too badly atm. Had expected af so I was ready for her. I’m not fully decided to be honest. I’ve thought about doing absolutely nothing and stopping fretting over it but on the other hand I’ve thought about using the cb connected next week just to pin point ovulation as OH and I seem to be quite a lot more active at the moment. So I’m not completely decided yet... What would you do???

Yes, it is amazing isn’t..... Oh well. Haha