Bit of a rant, competitive mums

[Raggydoll]

I think when it turns into a game of one upmanship then it can get tedious but I'm not into running down a childs ability. I just smile, nod and move on.

I love hearing about other LO's. There a lot of children in my family so there is always news. I love telling funny little stories about my LO.

I think it's a case of being careful about how you word things. Who really cares if people exaggerate a bit, it's not doing your LO any harm.

They will all have their own achievements and they will always be special.

 

[peanut56]

If people want to brag about their babies, go for it. I don't care. What I do care about though, is people being condescending to me. "Oh your baby isn't rolling yet? Oh, I'm sure she'll get it EVENTUALLY." "Oh, I'm sure SOMEDAY your baby will figure X out."
That's what I have a problem with. I don't like being talked down to - it has nothing to do with insecurity and everything to do with common manners.

 

[aliss]

Hey, I know eventually he'll learn to drive, swear, drink, hit on girls & then get punched out in a bar, so who cares if he still can't sit near 8 months old

 

[Raggydoll]

Hey, I know eventually he'll learn to drive, swear, drink, hit on girls & then get punched out in a bar, so who cares if he still can't sit near 8 months old

Now you're scaring me. My little baby is going to discover short skirts, make up, alcohol and boys.

 

[aliss]

Hey, I know eventually he'll learn to drive, swear, drink, hit on girls & then get punched out in a bar, so who cares if he still can't sit near 8 months old

Now you're scaring me. My little baby is going to discover short skirts, make up, alcohol and boys.

Oh dear, revenge for us being naughty! Sometimes I think I'm lucky to have a boy, but then I know if I have anotehr one, it will certainly be a girl or twin girls! I was such a mean little brat at 12-13 years old lol

 

[louandivy]

Hey, I know eventually he'll learn to drive, swear, drink, hit on girls & then get punched out in a bar, so who cares if he still can't sit near 8 months old

Ahhhhhhhhh

Given me and OH's collective history Ivy is going to be a HANDFUL when she is a teenager. She may not be able to roll over now but she will be able to drink all your LO's under the table by the age of 16

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

I have two 'friends' like this, one of which constantly likes to remind me that Arf is just two days younger than her son, who is walking, pointing and saying what sounds like "look" apparently. I think what he's doing is wonderful and everybody has a right to be proud of their child but when they say these things they seem to delight in the fact other babies in our little circle haven't achieved such milestones. Yes, it may just be my own insecurities perhaps but there is definately a difference between these two women and the three others in the group. It's utterly ridiculous, I would hate to think anybody ever thought like that about me; that I'm happy to basically put other people's babies down in order to make mine seem better xx

 

[CMIL]

I agree that there is nothing wrong with being proud but what I am talking about are conversations like this:

Other person: Is he crawling yet?
Me: No
Other person: Jimmy is doing really well, he was crawling at 6 months

I just dont understand why someone has to know what your baby is doing before they point out their own baby's milestone. Its comes across as competitive and rude. I have no problem at all with people saying 'I am so proud, she walked last week for the first time!' but its the comparisons that annoy me. I actually compliment babies when I am at the groups constantly...I love babies and love an excuse to make a mum feel great about her LO because they are all adorable but I just wish a small number of mums didnt feel the need to compare their baby to mine.

I think it stems from a post about the 8 month check and for some reason (maybe it caught me at the wrong time) it just really wound me up. If someone asked me how my 8 month check went (not that we have had it yet) all I would care about is he is happy, healthy and they are not worried about him. I would not be reeling off a list of, 'well he can do a, b, c, d, e'. That doesnt help people, all it will do is get used comparitively and make people wrongly question things they shouldnt have to question.

 

[AFC84]

Definitely. I'm not sure how old I was when I said my first real word, but I do know I could say 50 words by 10 months [my mum has always told me this and it never seemed particularly interesting because I had no clue about babies/when they did things, but it seems really freaky to me now!] Apparently she took me to the hospital and a nurse or something there commented on how much I could say, asked how many words, my mum didn't know so started counting them.

My LO is 9 months and only babbles...I *think* he may have said Dada recently, but not convinced it wasn't just babbling. My mum often says that I could have taught Finley to talk that early, and that she wishes she'd "taught" her other kids if she'd known it could be done [I'm the youngest of 5, and I was a VERY demanding baby, the only way she could keep me occupied was to carry me around, constantly talking to me and showing me what things were etc] but I just smile and nod...it's not like I don't make any effort with my LO, but I'm happy that he'll do things in his own time.

I didn't sleep through til I was 5 so I think people just focus on their babies' good points

That reminded me of my own mom! I was walking at 7 months and she hasn't shut up about it since my LO was born, until a few weeks ago. She kept telling me she'll probably walk at 7 months too because I did. I kept saying I don't think she will and once she was almost 7 months old, she stopped saying it So far my LO has been on time for everything, nothing late, nothing early, and I'm happy with that! She can't sit up on her own yet, but I'm perfectly happy waiting!

I think what gets me most about people comparing their LO to someone elses is, what if they actually are delayed?? Wouldn't you just feel like crap having someone point that out to you all the time or being the one to point it out just because you wanted to be competitive!

Wow 7 months! I can't even imagine it! Yeah exactly, while one baby will be ahead in one area, they'll be not so advanced in another, or just skip a certain stage altogether [like my friend's LO never commando crawled, just went straight into proper crawling a bit later]....my LO hasn't made any real attempts to pull himself up yet and I know other people's babies have done it at 4 months.

Good point though, people don't think

 

[Nic1107]

My BFF was like that with her first kid- she swore the baby was talking at 3 months because she made a noise like "Hi!". Having another kid brought her back down to earth though as she now realizes that babies make all sorts of noises (she'd never been around babies before).

Carmen has a grand total of three words: "Brrr", "bye-bye" and "uh-oh". I'm over the moon that she can say anything, because everything else is expressed with a shriek that escalates into a tantrum, so the sooner she can express herself in words the better for everyone's eardrums. She can't walk though, and can only stand for a few seconds without holding onto anything; she was a "late" crawler as well and still clumsy at it.

 

[Lara310809]

I don't mind admitting that my LO is "behind" other babies. I hate the mums (and I know a fair few) that comment on all my photos and say "my child was doing that three months before yours", and "she's not very good at balancing is she? My child would run circles round yours". Well, not verbatim, but you know what I mean.

I don't care if your baby is so much more advanced than mine; my baby is mine and I love her a helluva lot more than I love your baby. She is mine and she is perfect. So bugger off and look after your own child, since they're so amazingly advanced; or they will be running circles round you!!"

My 9 month old can say "dada" and "mama", but she doesn't have a clue what they mean. I know because she doesn't look at either one of us when she says them, and she doesn't seem want us when she says our names. She also seems to yell "dadadadada" at her toys

My LO can sit up unaided, but she falls over still.

My LO can't crawl, but she can move about in other ways.

My LO has no inclination to walk anytime soon, and actually cries with fear if she doesn't feel like you're supporting her enough when she's standing up.

My baby is my baby; yours is yours. I am proud of her achievements, and I couldn't give a stuff about yours

 

[Lost_Plot]

That reminded me of my own mom! I was walking at 7 months and she hasn't shut up about it since my LO was born, until a few weeks ago. She kept telling me she'll probably walk at 7 months too because I did. I kept saying I don't think she will and once she was almost 7 months old, she stopped saying it So far my LO has been on time for everything, nothing late, nothing early, and I'm happy with that! She can't sit up on her own yet, but I'm perfectly happy waiting!

I think what gets me most about people comparing their LO to someone elses is, what if they actually are delayed?? Wouldn't you just feel like crap having someone point that out to you all the time or being the one to point it out just because you wanted to be competitive!

That sounds like my mum she claims I was walking, talking and out of nappies when I was 9 months old. More likely she's exaggerating because she's insecure and wants to pretend she's the best mum in the world.

 

[Kalah]

That reminded me of my own mom! I was walking at 7 months and she hasn't shut up about it since my LO was born, until a few weeks ago. She kept telling me she'll probably walk at 7 months too because I did. I kept saying I don't think she will and once she was almost 7 months old, she stopped saying it So far my LO has been on time for everything, nothing late, nothing early, and I'm happy with that! She can't sit up on her own yet, but I'm perfectly happy waiting!

I think what gets me most about people comparing their LO to someone elses is, what if they actually are delayed?? Wouldn't you just feel like crap having someone point that out to you all the time or being the one to point it out just because you wanted to be competitive!

That sounds like my mum she claims I was walking, talking and out of nappies when I was 9 months old. More likely she's exaggerating because she's insecure and wants to pretend she's the best mum in the world.

Now that I would like to see! I think that's actually the best exaggeration I've heard so far!

 

[hivechild]

That reminded me of my own mom! I was walking at 7 months and she hasn't shut up about it since my LO was born, until a few weeks ago. She kept telling me she'll probably walk at 7 months too because I did. I kept saying I don't think she will and once she was almost 7 months old, she stopped saying it So far my LO has been on time for everything, nothing late, nothing early, and I'm happy with that! She can't sit up on her own yet, but I'm perfectly happy waiting!

I think what gets me most about people comparing their LO to someone elses is, what if they actually are delayed?? Wouldn't you just feel like crap having someone point that out to you all the time or being the one to point it out just because you wanted to be competitive!

That sounds like my mum she claims I was walking, talking and out of nappies when I was 9 months old. More likely she's exaggerating because she's insecure and wants to pretend she's the best mum in the world.

Now that I would like to see! I think that's actually the best exaggeration I've heard so far!

Maybe it's true and she just let her run around bareassed naked all day!

 

[Kalah]

That reminded me of my own mom! I was walking at 7 months and she hasn't shut up about it since my LO was born, until a few weeks ago. She kept telling me she'll probably walk at 7 months too because I did. I kept saying I don't think she will and once she was almost 7 months old, she stopped saying it So far my LO has been on time for everything, nothing late, nothing early, and I'm happy with that! She can't sit up on her own yet, but I'm perfectly happy waiting!

I think what gets me most about people comparing their LO to someone elses is, what if they actually are delayed?? Wouldn't you just feel like crap having someone point that out to you all the time or being the one to point it out just because you wanted to be competitive!

That sounds like my mum she claims I was walking, talking and out of nappies when I was 9 months old. More likely she's exaggerating because she's insecure and wants to pretend she's the best mum in the world.

Now that I would like to see! I think that's actually the best exaggeration I've heard so far!

Maybe it's true and she just let her run around bareassed naked all day!

In that case, I was a nudist by age 2!
Don't know why I hated clothes so much, but I bet my brothers wished I didn't!

 

[lauralora]

this is so true, theres a girl on my facebook always bragging what her baby can do, like shes so far infront of everyone else's! x

 

[lauralora]

I don't mind admitting that my LO is "behind" other babies. I hate the mums (and I know a fair few) that comment on all my photos and say "my child was doing that three months before yours", and "she's not very good at balancing is she? My child would run circles round yours". Well, not verbatim, but you know what I mean.

I don't care if your baby is so much more advanced than mine; my baby is mine and I love her a helluva lot more than I love your baby. She is mine and she is perfect. So bugger off and look after your own child, since they're so amazingly advanced; or they will be running circles round you!!"

My 9 month old can say "dada" and "mama", but she doesn't have a clue what they mean. I know because she doesn't look at either one of us when she says them, and she doesn't seem want us when she says our names. She also seems to yell "dadadadada" at her toys

My LO can sit up unaided, but she falls over still.

My LO can't crawl, but she can move about in other ways.

My LO has no inclination to walk anytime soon, and actually cries with fear if she doesn't feel like you're supporting her enough when she's standing up.

My baby is my baby; yours is yours. I am proud of her achievements, and I couldn't give a stuff about yours

aww i just wanted to give you hugs, it upset me that people are commenting on your photos saying she isnt good at balancing cheeky chuffs! yeah olly was behind in sitting up and i felt so much under pressure because a few other mums i new were bragging about there babys doing all sorts, it even had me paranoid there was something wrong with olly, now i realise there idiots. bless are beautiful babys! x

 

[hivechild]

That reminded me of my own mom! I was walking at 7 months and she hasn't shut up about it since my LO was born, until a few weeks ago. She kept telling me she'll probably walk at 7 months too because I did. I kept saying I don't think she will and once she was almost 7 months old, she stopped saying it So far my LO has been on time for everything, nothing late, nothing early, and I'm happy with that! She can't sit up on her own yet, but I'm perfectly happy waiting!

I think what gets me most about people comparing their LO to someone elses is, what if they actually are delayed?? Wouldn't you just feel like crap having someone point that out to you all the time or being the one to point it out just because you wanted to be competitive!

That sounds like my mum she claims I was walking, talking and out of nappies when I was 9 months old. More likely she's exaggerating because she's insecure and wants to pretend she's the best mum in the world.

Now that I would like to see! I think that's actually the best exaggeration I've heard so far!

Maybe it's true and she just let her run around bareassed naked all day!

In that case, I was a nudist by age 2!
Don't know why I hated clothes so much, but I bet my brothers wished I didn't!

I think we all spent a lot of time running around either nekkid or in the bare minimum when we were little. I grew up in Australia though where it ws hot, hot, hot so clothes were just uncomfortable!

------

As for competitive mums, try cutting them off at the pass and start raving about THEIR LO's accomplishments before they get a chance to. "Wow, look at little Timmy standing all on his own! My Johnnie only just figured out how to pull himself up on the coffee table." Before you know it, they'll be trying to find things to compliment your LO on to keep up.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Imagine what I get, my LO can't crawl yet at 11 months yet my cousin's little girl who is 3 weeks younger is pulling up to standing and feeding herself and has teeth-- you guessed it, my LO can't do any of that and has no teeth either It does make me feel insecure because most 11 month olds can at least bloody crawl and have at least one tooth lol. That is why I hate my LO being compared to others of his age because he is so behind in those areas!!!

 

[OmarsMum]

Imagine what I get, my LO can't crawl yet at 11 months yet my cousin's little girl who is 3 weeks younger is pulling up to standing and feeding herself and has teeth-- you guessed it, my LO can't do any of that and has no teeth either It does make me feel insecure because most 11 month olds can at least bloody crawl and have at least one tooth lol. That is why I hate my LO being compared to others of his age because he is so behind in those areas!!!

Omar had his 1st tooth 1 week after his birthday & until now he doesnt feed himself. My cousin is 3 weeks younger than Omar & he was feeding himself at 7 months, & had his 1st tooth at 9 months.

My friend's LO (who's 6 months younger than Omar) had his 1st tooth 1 month before Omar

Having teeth is not even a milestone , it's genetic & it doesnt affect their growth, they have up until they'r 18 months to start having teeth, it's normal there is nothing to worry about hun.

As for crawling many LOs dont crawl, it's also not a milestone xxx