Breast feeding in public? Your views?

[Dragonfly]

I have not breastfed out in public, i have in my garden and in front of family who treat me like crap for it and stopped visiting. Some even wouldnt come and meet Alex for over a year as they didnt want to see it. If I breastfed here I would be given grief for it. It is not normal here. And all I got was headache from family and past friends who left me because I didnt do as they did. So I kinda know what it feels like to have to hide away from people and avoid the negative comments. Thats probably why my reaction is so strong when told how to breastfeed when out. Someone always seems to have a problem with breastfeeding even people who claim to advocate it. My own mum says she was for it then tells me to hide in a loo in a shopping centre or my bed room of my own house during my sons party with an 8 week old. Yet if i bottle fed i would have been praised and no headaches surrounded by family and friends who would help me. Instead I hide away, I dont feed in public as I dont want to sit in a toilet somewhere or face the horrible remarks. I had enough horrid remarks in the mat ward for breastfeeding and from every health professional after that. Even the dam dentist. So its not the same all over where NIP is all over the place and in your face. Many here dont or just like me dont go out.

 

[Dk1234]

I e stated from the very beginning that BFing without a cover is fine and that as long as you aren't leaving your boob out its fine. So in assuming everyone that has argued with me disagrees with that or else why are they arguing.

 

[Natsku]

This is proving my point that some mothers' perceptions are that others are against nip when they are not. Just because someone says they prefer to be discrete doesn't mean they ate against it. They are allowed. One person gave an example of how a woman left her boob out on purpose to shock a teenager. This is what is considered wrong IMO. The thing is that having a bad attitude about nip, as in you THINK everyone is against it, tends to make you perceive things that aren't actually happening ie people giving dirty looks. So many comments are being taken the wrong way. I am 100% for nip whether you wear a cover or not, however you are comfortable. I breastfed my baby everywhere. I never received anything but nice comments and smiles, and I never expected any less.

bsolutely. I 100% believe that it doesn't nothing good for BFing or nip for BFing mothers to be so angry at other women especially BFing mothers. So because I prefer to be discrete and prefer you to too now all of a sudden I'm against BFing. I think this is exactly what I'm talking about, the poor attitude of some BFing moms having no courtesy for anyone and it makes things worse for the rest of us. Not the other way around. Quit being so angry all the time. There have been several stories in here of women leaving their breasts out while they got things sorted. And then one if a woman that said her child would pull of lots during a feed and she knew it would happen and she would make no effort to cover herself. I haven't changed my story because anyone has disagreed with me. Because I think that I am 100% correct. Sorry if you don't like that but don't make it some crusade against BFing or about anything other than the fact that I don't think you have show more than a little skin to nip and that's all that should be shown. I can't believe a bunch if woman are advocating completely ignoring the feelings of others. I sure hope you aren't like this about everything. And most of all I sure hope everyone isn't like this or it'll be a miserable world to live in.

Yes I didn't make any effort to cover myself because my priority was to get Maria to latch back on, not to limit the chance that some judgemental person might get offended.

 

[Dk1234]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

 

[Tasha]

bsolutely. I 100% believe that it doesn't nothing good for BFing or nip for BFing mothers to be so angry at other women especially BFing mothers. So because I prefer to be discrete and prefer you to too now all of a sudden I'm against BFing. I think this is exactly what I'm talking about, the poor attitude of some BFing moms having no courtesy for anyone and it makes things worse for the rest of us. Not the other way around. Quit being so angry all the time. There have been several stories in here of women leaving their breasts out while they got things sorted. And then one if a woman that said her child would pull of lots during a feed and she knew it would happen and she would make no effort to cover herself. I haven't changed my story because anyone has disagreed with me. Because I think that I am 100% correct. Sorry if you don't like that but don't make it some crusade against BFing or about anything other than the fact that I don't think you have show more than a little skin to nip and that's all that should be shown. I can't believe a bunch if woman are advocating completely ignoring the feelings of others. I sure hope you aren't like this about everything. And most of all I sure hope everyone isn't like this or it'll be a miserable world to live in.

No one said you're against BF (or if they did, then I didnt read it). Nor is anyone angry.

You said that if I (or anyone) knows that their child will pull away and expose the breast and do nothing to cover it up, it is nudity. That doesnt come across as a simple you prefer people to be discreet it comes across as they are doing wrong. I already feel like I need three hands to BF, so unless you have the third and possibly even a fourth for me then no I may not be able to cover me/my baby if they keep pulling away because quite frankly I dont have a free hand to do that with.

 

[Pearls18]

I e stated from the very beginning that BFing without a cover is fine and that as long as you aren't leaving your boob out its fine. So in assuming everyone that has argued with me disagrees with that or else why are they arguing.

I disagree with you putting limitations on a woman who is feeding her child. Yes I disagree with you saying "as long as you aren't leaving your boob out its fine", who are you to say what isn't classed as fine. Do you have a time limit? Shall we say 5 seconds exposure after the baby has pulled off, 10 seconds, 30 seconds? The issue is the fact you have 'rules' not what the 'rules' actually are. The problem is the fact you are saying a boob shouldn;t be out too long is implying the breast is only a tool for feeding the moment that baby is on the nipple, do we insist on a woman putting away a bottle the second it is finished with? Yes it is unfortunate society has decided breasts are a sexualised part of the body and something we don't expose willingnilly but you have got to separate this role of breasts from that of feeding. If a woman is in a bar and lifts her top up and says "wahey guys look at me" I have an issue with that, if a woman takes her boob out to feed and leaves it out a little longer than necessary I don't have an issue with that because the breast in that moment in time is a feeding tool. Would I leave it out longer than I had to? No, it does embarass me, but just because that's how I feel I don't assume everyone else should feel the same way.

 

[Dk1234]

bsolutely. I 100% believe that it doesn't nothing good for BFing or nip for BFing mothers to be so angry at other women especially BFing mothers. So because I prefer to be discrete and prefer you to too now all of a sudden I'm against BFing. I think this is exactly what I'm talking about, the poor attitude of some BFing moms having no courtesy for anyone and it makes things worse for the rest of us. Not the other way around. Quit being so angry all the time. There have been several stories in here of women leaving their breasts out while they got things sorted. And then one if a woman that said her child would pull of lots during a feed and she knew it would happen and she would make no effort to cover herself. I haven't changed my story because anyone has disagreed with me. Because I think that I am 100% correct. Sorry if you don't like that but don't make it some crusade against BFing or about anything other than the fact that I don't think you have show more than a little skin to nip and that's all that should be shown. I can't believe a bunch if woman are advocating completely ignoring the feelings of others. I sure hope you aren't like this about everything. And most of all I sure hope everyone isn't like this or it'll be a miserable world to live in.

No one said you're against BF (or if they did, then I didnt read it). Nor is anyone angry.

You said that if I (or anyone) knows that their child will pull away and expose the breast and do nothing to cover it up, it is nudity. That doesnt come across as a simple you prefer people to be discreet it comes across as they are doing wrong. I already feel like I need three hands to BF, so unless you have the third and possibly even a fourth for me then no I may not be able to cover me/my baby if they keep pulling away because quite frankly I dont have a free hand to do that with.

Dragonfly said that people can't say they agree with BFing and then say but you can't do it this way. You are against BFing. Or have problems with fing or something like that.

 

[Pearls18]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

But the concern should be to the child, not the other people in the room?

 

[Tasha]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

VERY!! Like I keep repeating, just because it is simple for you doesnt mean it is simple for everyone else and to suggest it should be is wrong. My baby didnt shield by breast, even now as a four year old her head isnt as big as mine so how would it shield? It isnt as simple as just moving a baby about a bit for women who struggle to BF discreetly because quite often the position they are BF in is the only position they can BF into, so to move would make things harder.

As I said I dont have enough hands to move things down my breast.

I just dont get what is so hard to understand, that some people dont find being as discreet as easy as you do

 

[Pearls18]

This is proving my point that some mothers' perceptions are that others are against nip when they are not. Just because someone says they prefer to be discrete doesn't mean they ate against it. They are allowed. One person gave an example of how a woman left her boob out on purpose to shock a teenager. This is what is considered wrong IMO. The thing is that having a bad attitude about nip, as in you THINK everyone is against it, tends to make you perceive things that aren't actually happening ie people giving dirty looks. So many comments are being taken the wrong way. I am 100% for nip whether you wear a cover or not, however you are comfortable. I breastfed my baby everywhere. I never received anything but nice comments and smiles, and I never expected any less.

bsolutely. I 100% believe that it doesn't nothing good for BFing or nip for BFing mothers to be so angry at other women especially BFing mothers. So because I prefer to be discrete and prefer you to too now all of a sudden I'm against BFing. I think this is exactly what I'm talking about, the poor attitude of some BFing moms having no courtesy for anyone and it makes things worse for the rest of us. Not the other way around. Quit being so angry all the time. There have been several stories in here of women leaving their breasts out while they got things sorted. And then one if a woman that said her child would pull of lots during a feed and she knew it would happen and she would make no effort to cover herself. I haven't changed my story because anyone has disagreed with me. Because I think that I am 100% correct. Sorry if you don't like that but don't make it some crusade against BFing or about anything other than the fact that I don't think you have show more than a little skin to nip and that's all that should be shown. I can't believe a bunch if woman are advocating completely ignoring the feelings of others. I sure hope you aren't like this about everything. And most of all I sure hope everyone isn't like this or it'll be a miserable world to live in.

No one here is angry, you are the one who seems to take offence to a woman not BF to your standards?

 

[Dk1234]

I e stated from the very beginning that BFing without a cover is fine and that as long as you aren't leaving your boob out its fine. So in assuming everyone that has argued with me disagrees with that or else why are they arguing.

I disagree with you putting limitations on a woman who is feeding her child. Yes I disagree with you saying "as long as you aren't leaving your boob out its fine", who are you to say what isn't classed as fine. Do you have a time limit? Shall we say 5 seconds exposure after the baby has pulled off, 10 seconds, 30 seconds? The issue is the fact you have 'rules' not what the 'rules' actually are. The problem is the fact you are saying a boob shouldn;t be out too long is implying the breast is only a tool for feeding the moment that baby is on the nipple, do we insist on a woman putting away a bottle the second it is finished with? Yes it is unfortunate society has decided breasts are a sexualised part of the body and something we don't expose willingnilly but you have got to separate this role of breasts from that of feeding. If a woman is in a bar and lifts her top up and says "wahey guys look at me" I have an issue with that, if a woman takes her boob out to feed and leaves it out a little longer than necessary I don't have an issue with that because the breast in that moment in time is a feeding tool. Would I leave it out longer than I had to? No, it does embarass me, but just because that's how I feel I don't assume everyone else should feel the same way.

But the reason I feel this way mainly is because actions like this have created a stigma against BFing and nip. I've said all along I don't think it is helping and actually is hindering reaching the goal of normalizing BFing. I think the attitude of nudity is fine because bf are dual purposes and are used as a feeding tool makes people in the general public uncomfortable and this they end up being against nip in general. It's not normalizing things it makes people think BFing mothers are radical or like a lot of the attitudes of people in here, don't care about anyone around them. Did you read my example earlier about normalizing something?

In a town where people were antigay would you think a gay pride parade or a few men who went in restaurants and made out with each other with no regard to where they were and who they are would normalize that? No some happy homosexual couples who just live and go about life normally holding ha ds in public or a possible kiss on the cheek may eventually make that normal. Shocking people or having no regards for them yes let's you nurse however you want but no it doesn't make it normal or accepted.

 

[Dk1234]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

But the concern should be to the child, not the other people in the room?

The concern should be for everyone. Of course you care about you child first. Say my child starts screaming in a restaurant. I don't cover their mouth and smother them to shut them up immediately. But, I don't completely disregard others by letting them scream while I change their diaper or rock them or figure out what's wrong. Ill remove myself if I can't calm them down quickly. It's courtesy and its now we live civilly in this world.

 

[Foogirl]

One thing to point out though, there are far more people here saying, yeah fine whatever than there are saying no not ever or only if you follow my rules. And I think despite what the media will try and have us believe, this is reflective of society in general. Mostly I BF in cafe's restaurants and I did it a lot. Positive comments far outweighed the negative, but you know what? Any comments at all pales into insignificant with the vast numbers of people who either saw and said nowt, or were minding their own business and getting on with their lives.

So to those who won't NIP, just do it once and see how you get on. Then do it again if it goes ok. I did find in the early days when I was getting used to it, the strategic choice of tables and placement of my OH helped me feel more comfortable.

 

[Natsku]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

Slide it down with what hand? If both my hands are occupied trying to latch my baby back on how do I slide a blanket over my incredibly offensive breast?
I'm lucky as I have small breasts and Maria's head did mostly hide it, unless she moved a lot, but like Tasha said, thats not true for all women.

 

[Dk1234]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

Slide it down with what hand? If both my hands are occupied trying to latch my baby back on how do I slide a blanket over my incredibly offensive breast?
I'm lucky as I have small breasts and Maria's head did mostly hide it, unless she moved a lot, but like Tasha said, thats not true for all women.

How old is your baby. You still have to latch them in with both hands? I mean someone just learning to bf has a little leeway but at some point the baby does the latching themselves. I've gotten quite skilled at propping Coen up with my leg crossed while covering myself while latching. It isn't exactly easy but it just took some practice. Maybe if you practiced being discrete at home you could be in public. But I don't think you care to be discrete so I'm not saying you have to it was just an option.

 

[Dk1234]

If your father or brothers were in the same room with you, how discrete would you be. I've seen lots of people say they cover for male family but not for strangers. That's seems weird to me.

 

[Dk1234]

One thing to point out though, there are far more people here saying, yeah fine whatever than there are saying no not ever or only if you follow my rules. And I think despite what the media will try and have us believe, this is reflective of society in general. Mostly I BF in cafe's restaurants and I did it a lot. Positive comments far outweighed the negative, but you know what? Any comments at all pales into insignificant with the vast numbers of people who either saw and said nowt, or were minding their own business and getting on with their lives.

So to those who won't NIP, just do it once and see how you get on. Then do it again if it goes ok. I did find in the early days when I was getting used to it, the strategic choice of tables and placement of my OH helped me feel more comfortable.

This is a mothers forum the sampling would be far off society. For one were all woman who have bf. I also think its different where you live. I live in Kentucky and if I left my boob hanging out it would probably make local news.

 

[Tasha]

One thing to point out though, there are far more people here saying, yeah fine whatever than there are saying no not ever or only if you follow my rules. And I think despite what the media will try and have us believe, this is reflective of society in general. Mostly I BF in cafe's restaurants and I did it a lot. Positive comments far outweighed the negative, but you know what? Any comments at all pales into insignificant with the vast numbers of people who either saw and said nowt, or were minding their own business and getting on with their lives.

So to those who won't NIP, just do it once and see how you get on. Then do it again if it goes ok. I did find in the early days when I was getting used to it, the strategic choice of tables and placement of my OH helped me feel more comfortable.

That is fab advice, thank you.

 

[Pearls18]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

But the concern should be to the child, not the other people in the room?

The concern should be for everyone. Of course you care about you child first. Say my child starts screaming in a restaurant. I don't cover their mouth and smother them to shut them up immediately. But, I don't completely disregard others by letting them scream while I change their diaper or rock them or figure out what's wrong. Ill remove myself if I can't calm them down quickly. It's courtesy and its now we live civilly in this world.

What has screaming got to do with this? Because I am unable to feed discretely (I would be really keen to know how you would feed a fidgetty baby discreetly with size G breasts and needing to use both hands to latch the baby btw, maybe you could tell us all as you have it nailed so well) I either have to let them scream which isn't civil as you say, or 'remove myself from the situation', so basically feed in private? Answer me this, if a woman isn't physically capeable of feeding her child without a little exposure that some women managed to avoid, should this said woman not feed at all in public to be civil????

 

[Pearls18]

I mean how hard is it to use your child as a shield? Or to have a blanket or burp cloth placed on top of your boob that you could easily slide down. No one is saying your priority shouldn't be your child. But you can focus on your child while limiting showing your full breast to the world. A little effort goes a long way.

Slide it down with what hand? If both my hands are occupied trying to latch my baby back on how do I slide a blanket over my incredibly offensive breast?
I'm lucky as I have small breasts and Maria's head did mostly hide it, unless she moved a lot, but like Tasha said, thats not true for all women.

How old is your baby. You still have to latch them in with both hands? I mean someone just learning to bf has a little leeway but at some point the baby does the latching themselves. I've gotten quite skilled at propping Coen up with my leg crossed while covering myself while latching. It isn't exactly easy but it just took some practice. Maybe if you practiced being discrete at home you could be in public. But I don't think you care to be discrete so I'm not saying you have to it was just an option.

I breastfed for 9 months and DS never latched himself.