Breast feeding in public? Your views?

[Tasha]

I said they didn't see breasts as sexual. I'm seriously out of this conversation now so if your like to talk to me pm me. Don't wait til I leave and then try to take something I said and completely twist it to something offensive. I also said BFing mothers right beside it. It clearly says lots of people don't find breasts sexual.

You are taking this really personally, people are not arguing with you, they are debating and foogirl didnt wait til you left, she came on and replied when she read it.

 

[midori1999]

I have no idea what gay men have got to do with breastfeeding in public? I'm guessing being gay still isn't wholey accepted in Kentucky?

When I am nursing my daughter in public, I assume that everyone around me is too busy going about their business to worry about what I am doing. Oddly, despite my clearly brazen flaunting of my breasts, no one has ever so much as looked at me funnily when I've been breastfeeding and I am currently breastfeeding a 19 month old who is inclined to fly off at any second.

I think Pink (the singer) has it about right when she says 'it's normal, it's natural and it's a comfort to my baby, so I don't give a sh*t what you think'.

 

[Foogirl]

I said they didn't see breasts as sexual. I'm seriously out of this conversation now so if your like to talk to me pm me. Don't wait til I leave and then try to take something I said and completely twist it to something offensive. I also said BFing mothers right beside it. It clearly says lots of people don't find breasts sexual.

You are taking this really personally, people are not arguing with you, they are debating and foogirl didnt wait til you left, she came on and replied when she read it.

Yeah, silly me for taking Abby to her swimming lessons instead of waiting to hear what the response was.

I actually thought you'd left and wasn't really interested in your response to my comment.

The reason I psoted was to ensure anyone else who may be reading the thread were given an informed view about gay men's attitude to breastfeeding.

Seriously, if you want to leave, just go. I've certainly heard and understood your viewpoint from what you've said so far.

 

[Scottish mum]

Everybody is entitled to an opinion it's not for everybody.
It's a debate! X

 

[Tasha]

Everybody is entitled to an opinion it's not for everybody.
It's a debate! X

I dont really understand. When you say its not for everyone, are you meaning NIP?

No one has stopped anyone having an opinion, we are all putting ours across

 

[Scottish mum]

Yes I mean not in public. It doesn't bother me at all! I don't bf so it's not something I have to do but I see there are girls in the debate that feel there obviously not entitled to there opinions and that's not how's these threads work. : )

 

[Foogirl]

I'm not sure it's the opinions that have caused offence here, I think it's the insistence that everyone can and should do it in a certain way, despite being told people have tried and failed. Opinion is "I don't like it" what's happening here is "you shouldn't do it" or "you should only do it a certain way". That.s what is causing friction.

 

[Pearls18]

I didn't really have much of an opinion beforehand lol, I never felt comfortable doing it and was in awe of those who did but didn't think much beyond that, it was only being told how I SHOULD do it and how I was being uncivil if I didn't and that I wasn't trying hard enough that got my back up really. But the great thing is it has made me all the more determined to do it next time and try and not give a dam about how much I am or am not showing off.

 

[Tasha]

Yes I mean not in public. It doesn't bother me at all! I don't bf so it's not something I have to do but I see there are girls in the debate that feel there obviously not entitled to there opinions and that's not how's these threads work. : )

Again no one has said that people cant share their opinions, people have responded to those opinions and that is okay too, otherwise it wouldnt be a debate.

What has actually happened is that DK feels her opinions have been misunderstood and that is why she left the thread. So no, nothing to do with having an opinion.

 

[Scottish mum]

This is true! It's bizarre too as I think it depend where you live! I've been around friends who do it and they felt uncofortable as people where looking over constantly!! They shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable but they do so much so one of them goes into the baby change room or available facilities just to bf!

I don't think it's fair of anybody to tell other mothers they shouldn't do it like this or that as long ad lo is happy and being fed that's all that matters!

 

[Tasha]

I'm not sure it's the opinions that have caused offence here, I think it's the insistence that everyone can and should do it in a certain way, despite being told people have tried and failed. Opinion is "I don't like it" what's happening here is "you shouldn't do it" or "you should only do it a certain way". That.s what is causing friction.

Yes, this is exactly the thing that is causing the friction.

I didn't really have much of an opinion beforehand lol, I never felt comfortable doing it and was in awe of those who did but didn't think much beyond that, it was only being told how I SHOULD do it and how I was being uncivil if I didn't and that I wasn't trying hard enough that got my back up really. But the great thing is it has made me all the more determined to do it next time and try and not give a dam about how much I am or am not showing off.

I sort of feel the same but yet more anxious too knowing that even some BF mum's will be juding how much breast is on display.

This is true! It's bizarre too as I think it depend where you live! I've been around friends who do it and they felt uncofortable as people where looking over constantly!! They shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable but they do so much so one of them goes into the baby change room or available facilities just to bf!

I don't think it's fair of anybody to tell other mothers they shouldn't do it like this or that as long ad lo is happy and being fed that's all that matters!

Totally agree with you It is awful that they had to do that, losts of those places are at best uncomfortable and at worst dirty and unhigenic.

 

[meli1981]

but people have also said thst using covers and trying to be "discreet" is drawing more attention. isnt that also telling us how we should nurse in public?

 

[Pearls18]

It does feel like if even some BF women can't see both sides then there's no chance of society ever changing, whatever happened to female solidarity.

 

[meli1981]

i completely agree marinewag

 

[Pearls18]

but people have also said thst using covers and trying to be "discreet" is drawing more attention. isnt that also telling us how we should nurse in public?

I imagine this was used as argument to say why it isn't necessarily a good option for women wanting to be discrete not that they shouldn't do it. I personally don't care if a woman wants to hide away, use a cover, or have no qualms at all about how they do it, so long as they have the choice and do what they feel comfortable with. I don't agree with anybody putting restrictions on a woman, and assuming the reasons as to why she does so.

 

[Tasha]

but people have also said thst using covers and trying to be "discreet" is drawing more attention. isnt that also telling us how we should nurse in public?

I havent seen any one say that people shouldnt be discreet nor have I seen anyone say no one should use nursing covers, even if they did say it draws more attention. If they said it draws more attention so no one should do it then yes it would be on par. Or if they said I found it easy not to use a nursing cover so everyone should not use a nursing cover, then yes it would be the same. But simply pointing our that it draws more attention isnt telling you what to do.

 

[meli1981]

its almost impossible to debate, because nobody tries to see the other side of things. isnt it possible that the people saying being discreet is unneccessary are being just as judgemental as the people saying to be discreet?

 

[Dragonfly]

bsolutely. I 100% believe that it doesn't nothing good for BFing or nip for BFing mothers to be so angry at other women especially BFing mothers. So because I prefer to be discrete and prefer you to too now all of a sudden I'm against BFing. I think this is exactly what I'm talking about, the poor attitude of some BFing moms having no courtesy for anyone and it makes things worse for the rest of us. Not the other way around. Quit being so angry all the time. There have been several stories in here of women leaving their breasts out while they got things sorted. And then one if a woman that said her child would pull of lots during a feed and she knew it would happen and she would make no effort to cover herself. I haven't changed my story because anyone has disagreed with me. Because I think that I am 100% correct. Sorry if you don't like that but don't make it some crusade against BFing or about anything other than the fact that I don't think you have show more than a little skin to nip and that's all that should be shown. I can't believe a bunch if woman are advocating completely ignoring the feelings of others. I sure hope you aren't like this about everything. And most of all I sure hope everyone isn't like this or it'll be a miserable world to live in.

No one said you're against BF (or if they did, then I didnt read it). Nor is anyone angry.

You said that if I (or anyone) knows that their child will pull away and expose the breast and do nothing to cover it up, it is nudity. That doesnt come across as a simple you prefer people to be discreet it comes across as they are doing wrong. I already feel like I need three hands to BF, so unless you have the third and possibly even a fourth for me then no I may not be able to cover me/my baby if they keep pulling away because quite frankly I dont have a free hand to do that with.

Dragonfly said that people can't say they agree with BFing and then say but you can't do it this way. You are against BFing. Or have problems with fing or something like that.

Maybe you should have went back and had a look at what I said instead of making out something even I dont understand. Perhaps it was my line "I support breastfeeding BUT *(add conditions for my acceptance) then you dont support breastfeeding and use the fact that you breastfeed as some sort of shield and acceptable way to control other woman. Personally you dont get to tell me how I feed, I aint sitting there naked you just assume everyone is leaving it all to hang out. People like you sadly do have a bearing on woman breastfeeding, your conditions and judgements making an already self concious mum worse. Panic about boob popping out and every one seeing, your stomach which is more than likely stretch marked from pregnancy being seen, or baby unlatching and your milk squirting every where. Nope mums cant relax when people like you are around dictating how they should feed. Heaven forbid there was a slip up or it would never be forgiven , it would be used as an example like "the whole boob on show" and nipples everywhere to justify what you do.

Again I repeat its such a shame mums dont stick up for each other. As if its not hard enough for a breastfeeding mum to do what she does other mums are in on that difficulty to. Theres nothing really more to say.

 

[Tasha]

its almost impossible to debate, because nobody tries to see the other side of things. isnt it possible that the people saying being discreet is unneccessary are being just as judgemental as the people saying to be discreet?

Again if they are saying no one should be discreet then yes that is judgemental, but no one said that (if they did point it out to me and I will apologise). They are only talking about themselves when they say that they cant (or wont) be discreet.

It is like foogirl said about wording, if you are saying I dont like you using a cover or you should not be discreet then thats judgemental but to say I dont feel the need to be discreet is not judging someone else who is BF.

 

[Dragonfly]

its almost impossible to debate, because nobody tries to see the other side of things. isnt it possible that the people saying being discreet is unneccessary are being just as judgemental as the people saying to be discreet?

I accepted earlier on and said to someone who mentioned about her kids seeing I accept that and said how it made me feel. I am again explaining from a breastfeeding mums pov IMO only how it feels. Its hard to get validation or acknowledgement. Instead it goes back to some hypothetical unbelievable argument about boobs hanging there for no reason.