Breast feeding in public? Your views?

[meli1981]

i agree, i never wanted to offend anyone, or make anyone feel bad, so i do apologize. im pregnant so maybe that has something to do with it! i do feel we need to support each other as bf mothers, and just as mothers in general

I'm 11 weeks pregnant so maybe that is it ha ha ha ha!

haha! im 20 weeks, and is pretty irritable these days!

 

[Dk1234]

I think there is an obvious problem with society if people get offending by nursing in public, I couldn't give a shit if someone gets offended by seeig my boob, it's not my problem - it's there problem and they need to get over it. We shouldn't have to cover up, hide away or feel like we're doing something wrong.

that was just lovely!

Why should women suffer just because other people have skewed views? Hmm.

I guess that's where I find this issue. What makes your views more valid than their views. Yes breasts weren't covered in the beginning and seeing them wasn't offensive, but to a lot of people in today's society it is. I just think, except for the rare exception we obviously have heard a lot about in here, it is easy to show a little discretion so why not just do that as to not put people off. My whole argument is putting people off BFing does nothing good for BFing.

 

[TennisGal]

Tasha, I'm the one whose fine at the time - all fire and waving my finger. Then cries in the loo worrying I've upset everyone!!

 

[Dk1234]

I do the same I come on strong and then I cry because no one likes me

 

[meli1981]

the debate section is the only place i get responces to my posts. when i start a thread i get like 2 responces

 

[xsadiex]

I think there is an obvious problem with society if people get offending by nursing in public, I couldn't give a shit if someone gets offended by seeig my boob, it's not my problem - it's there problem and they need to get over it. We shouldn't have to cover up, hide away or feel like we're doing something wrong.

that was just lovely!

Why should women suffer just because other people have skewed views? Hmm.

I guess that's where I find this issue. What makes your views more valid than their views. Yes breasts weren't covered in the beginning and seeing them wasn't offensive, but to a lot of people in today's society it is. I just think, except for the rare exception we obviously have heard a lot about in here, it is easy to show a little discretion so why not just do that as to not put people off. My whole argument is putting people off BFing does nothing good for BFing.

The whole point is that people shouldn't be offended by a baby having its milk from the natural source? It's not like you start jiggling your boobs in people's faces, if they happen to look and see a flash of nipple so what? There's nothing wrong with being discreet but the culture of making people feel like they have to cover up is enough to put them off breastfeeding as it automatically makes it sounds like its wrong and needs to be covered. New mums don't need the added pressure of dirty looks when they're trying to do the best for their baby. Why do people find something so natural so disgusting?

 

[shelx]

I have absolutely no issues with seeing ladies breast feeding. But I dont know if I could do it myself just for the fact that there will be people watching who dont like it iykwim? I plan to breast feed with this bubba and I would be happier doing it in private myself rather than feeling like im being judged or watched in disgust. Sad but true, its just the world we live in I suppose.

 

[Pearls18]

I do the same I come on strong and then I cry because no one likes me

Oh god I do exactly the same, I get nervous to log back in when I remember how all guns blazing I was, and yeah Meli a lot of the time I only really write in the threads I think I will actually get a response to because I can't see the point in the rest when I am ignored, so it looks like I am really opinionated and aggressive but I'm not always...honest...!

 

[meli1981]

no one here finds bf disgusting

 

[Dk1234]

I think there is an obvious problem with society if people get offending by nursing in public, I couldn't give a shit if someone gets offended by seeig my boob, it's not my problem - it's there problem and they need to get over it. We shouldn't have to cover up, hide away or feel like we're doing something wrong.

that was just lovely!

Why should women suffer just because other people have skewed views? Hmm.

I guess that's where I find this issue. What makes your views more valid than their views. Yes breasts weren't covered in the beginning and seeing them wasn't offensive, but to a lot of people in today's society it is. I just think, except for the rare exception we obviously have heard a lot about in here, it is easy to show a little discretion so why not just do that as to not put people off. My whole argument is putting people off BFing does nothing good for BFing.

The whole point is that people shouldn't be offended by a baby having its milk from the natural source? It's not like you start jiggling your boobs in people's faces, if they happen to look and see a flash of nipple so what? There's nothing wrong with being discreet but the culture of making people feel like they have to cover up is enough to put them off breastfeeding as it automatically makes it sounds like its wrong and needs to be covered. New mums don't need the added pressure of dirty looks when they're trying to do the best for their baby. Why do people find something so natural so disgusting?

I think we all expressed that we aren't talking about the odd nip slip that wouldn't be noticed. We're talking people who have no regard for anyone around them and baring their whole breast during before and after a feeding session. I don't think anyone says you have to be covered up. And I wish that people didn't see BFing as odd and it was the norm. That's what I'm saying, I just don't think having no consideration for the general public is the wAy to have people get on board.

 

[Pearls18]

I think we can agree that everybody here is pro-NIP we just have different attitudes as to what will get the public on board to make it more normal and acceptable...again, and on that we can only agree to disagree

 

[Button#]

If it's before and after then it's not NIP and it's a whole different topic anyway. Although as a pp pointed out it could be a NIP related wardrobe malfunction. During NIP Ashley will sometimes pull off a few times but get stroppy if I put it away before he's finished.

Tbh I think that people who feel uncomfortable by someone BF in the same cafe/shop/park/universe as them are wrong and shouldn't be pandered to any more than I would pander to any other discrimination. Should black people not serve my OHs nan in shops because she finds that uncomfortable? Should gay couples not be allowed to kiss in public because that would make my in laws uncomfortable?

 

[Foogirl]

Bollocks. I just did a massive response to the last ten pages as I've been out, but if I post it, it's just going to stir up the hornets nest.

A couple of points I think I can make without pissing people off are:

meli1981, I know there is a cultural and geographical spread to this forum, but in the interests of ensuring you don’t offend anyone, given your people pleasing nature, you might want to note use of the word “handicapped” is considered really quite offensive, certainly in the UK and isn’t one that is really used.

Also, even ten minutes is an unacceptable time for a disabled person to wait to use a bathroom.

It occurs to me that much of the last 20 pages or so could have been avoided if people had actually said "I prefer to be more discrete when NIP but I fully support those who can't or won't" in their opening statements.

… the disabled toilet/baby change (they are always put together here).

This is the bane of my life. Combined disabled toilets / baby changing. I felt awful using them when Abby was younger and I feel awful having to wait to use them now. I have no problem with the people in them taking however long they need to change their LOs, it isn’t their fault. I am constantly having a go at architects and clients for trying to save money by combining the two.

Also in this country disabled toilets often have a special lock with a universal key only held by qualifying people, because that is what disabled toilets are for, disabled people who need the toilet.

I have the key. Best money I ever spent! I will actually seek out toilets with RADAR locks and only go to those places!

I want to get one of my skinny friends to wear a bikini in town whilst I discretely nurse my baby with my frumpy mum clothes on, and see which one of us gets the bad looks!!

I was looking about yesterday at pictures of Pink. I found loads of her in risqué outfits in front of thousands of people, or in press photos in a really skimpy bikini on a beach, and yet the pictures of her breastfeeding were widely condemned in many quarters. Ludicrous.

Right, hopefully the cat is not amongst the pigeons now.

 

[TennisGal]

Foo, you're awesome! I love that, so many times I've come back ready to post something and kicked myself that it's all moved on!

I hate baby change being put in disabled toilets...and I'm / was an architect. But not worked on those kinda things.

Your last point is something that resonates. Rhianna will be in X factor, before watershed, wearing something last seen in a sex magazine...and people will say how amazing she looks. A woman nips, and people are so quick to disapprove.

 

[Foogirl]

Foo, you're awesome! I love that, so many times I've come back ready to post something and kicked myself that it's all moved on!

I hate baby change being put in disabled toilets...and I'm / was an architect. But not worked on those kinda things.

Your last point is something that resonates. Rhianna will be in X factor, before watershed, wearing something last seen in a sex magazine...and people will say how amazing she looks. A woman nips, and people are so quick to disapprove.

aww shucks, thanks. I'm just pissed I was working on the response for about 40 minutes!

If you ever go back to "I'm" and do work on those sorts of things, give me a shout for advice. It's totally crazy how people never consider these things. My latest "oh for fuck's sake" moment was a new retail store in Leeds, the architect laid out the kid's changing rooms next to the gents changing rooms. Not a problem, but the DDA changing room that has to go with each changing block was at the far end of the gents changing room so you had to go right through the gents to get to it. What made it even more ridiculous is, the simple solution was to move the door to the other side of the DDA room and that way it was in the vestibule to both sets of changing rooms. When I challenged him about it, he was very apologetic and took it back to the client to change. Apparently as part of the discussion the client said "well, can't the parents just use the DDA changing room on the floor below" ehhh, no! Thankfully they have adopted kids DDA changing rooms in all their stores being renovated, and best of all, they call it "the Paris cubicle" (our last name)...(paris that is, not cubicle.......)

I so totally agree the culture around women is so totally wrong. It won't change by hiding away.

 

[midori1999]

If it's before and after then it's not NIP and it's a whole different topic anyway. Although as a pp pointed out it could be a NIP related wardrobe malfunction. During NIP Ashley will sometimes pull off a few times but get stroppy if I put it away before he's finished.

Tbh I think that people who feel uncomfortable by someone BF in the same cafe/shop/park/universe as them are wrong and shouldn't be pandered to any more than I would pander to any other discrimination. Should black people not serve my OHs nan in shops because she finds that uncomfortable? Should gay couples not be allowed to kiss in public because that would make my in laws uncomfortable?

This.

As I said earlier on in the thread, if people decide to keep their breasts exposed when they are not feeding, then that is not a NIP issue.

You know, some people are idiots and they get everywhere. There's no doubt that some people who happen to breast feed also happen to be idiots, but the two things aren't related.

I agree that we shouldn't consider the feelings of people who do not like seeing women nursing in public because they shouldn't feel the way they do. You know, there are people out there who don't even like women NIP with a cover, right? In the same way, we shouldn't consider the opinions who are made uncomfortable by race or anything else because they are the ones in the wrong.

 

[Scottish mum]

i agree, i never wanted to offend anyone, or make anyone feel bad, so i do apologize. im pregnant so maybe that has something to do with it! i do feel we need to support each other as bf mothers, and just as mothers in general

I'm 11 weeks pregnant so maybe
that is it ha ha ha ha!

haha! im 20 weeks, and is pretty irritable these days!

I've read your posts I agree! Not to start it all up again but unfortunatley we live in a society where there are alot of people who are not use to seeing this in public it doesn't make them right!! But that's what we can be up against! I know lots of people who would feel uncomfortable. Yes it's natural and I do not agree with women being asked to stop! We all know that it's natural but we cannot control everybody elses feelings on it! I personally wouldn't feel comfortable doing it in public. X

 

[midori1999]

Oh, and it might interest some to know that when my daughter was young, I was a little nervous to feed her in public. It was all very new to me, I knew my husband was a little anxious about me NIP and I didn't know what I would say if someone said anything to me.

However, I very quickly got over it. No one says anything to me, no one has ever said anything to me. People have made more comments about my son, who has Downs Syndrome and I am generally pretty thick skinned and I never worry about what people think of me. I don't keep my son in in case people are offended by him I'm either and I have heard people make some really rather rude comments about him. Never about me NIP though, maybe he distracts them?

 

[meli1981]

foo, well im in canada so handicapped isnt a bad word. i cant know everything there is to know about europe. so if i post something offending in the future just chalk it up to me being a canuck

 

[Dk1234]

Oh, and it might interest some to know that when my daughter was young, I was a little nervous to feed her in public. It was all very new to me, I knew my husband was a little anxious about me NIP and I didn't know what I would say if someone said anything to me.

However, I very quickly got over it. No one says anything to me, no one has ever said anything to me. People have made more comments about my son, who has Downs Syndrome and I am generally pretty thick skinned and I never worry about what people think of me. I don't keep my son in in case people are offended by him I'm either and I have heard people make some really rather rude comments about him. Never about me NIP though, maybe he distracts them?

People find your son having Down syndrome offensive?