i get a little tired of having to "accept" that as a formula feeder that I shouldn't feel proud or happy that my daughter is on formula- Its insinuated that I was uneducated when I made my "choice" to FF and that my daughter is doomed to a lifetime of not "quite" making the grade like her BF peers because of my uneducated decision.
And yes i did try my best- but it doesn't mean that gives me any solace.
and you wonder why we feel guilt when we fail. I do hope hope for your sake that you are never humbled or brought as low as I have been because a parenting "choice".
I do understand midori's point. BFing is a hard slog for most in the first few weeks, and it is an achievement. When only a few percent of women manage to breastfeed past the first week, I think a little pride has a place. With formula, 'proud' never feels quite the right word. It's not a physical achievement in the way BFing is. I can only liken it to women who have 'proud home birth achiever' or 'proud natural birther' or similar.
I wouldn't have a 'proud c-section' blinkie, because it's not the same personal achievement as labour.
This is ridiculous? Personal achievement? Honestly, apparently there has been some sort of cultural shift that is truly lost on me. I did not have a child to feel "empowered" or prove my womanhood through as much personal pain and sacrifice that I could accomplish for myself. This seems to be a common theme amongst a lot of younger women and I find it very odd. It isnt like women have been increasingly belittled or marginalzied in our society; it's quite the opposite in the business world political world, etc.
Oh, there's always been a "nasty" competitive streak in women! I experienced in the business world and was sickened by it. I have seen it in nightclubs and was sickened by it. It came as a huge shock to me that getting the "man", getting the "job" and pushing every other woman out of the way would reach the extremes of "sport motherhood." It has truly grown ridiculous.
A woman who had a c-section is no less of a "woman" than anyone else. The baby is just as "real" and was nurtured in her womb and loved as much as the mom who birthed in a tub at home or anywhere else.
I was very shocked to find this online and to a lesser extent in real life 7-8 years ago when I had my first child. I have never had many female friends and thought motherhood would finally provide a bond with other women. But this is far, far from the case.
I had a baby to love; to add to our family. I wasnt out to "prove" anything. I have medical conditions and 200 years ago, or far less than that, I probably would have been childless or died in childbirth. The attitudes and opinions of today's 18-23 year old "motherhood expert" must be quite jarring and upsetting to IVF moms, moms who adopt or foster children, etc. I can't say they aren't deeply upsetting to me, but at 44 I have years of experiences and maturity to have a bit of perspective. I have an 8 year old and a 7 month old and I'm not an expert parent or birther, or anything else and can't imagine running all over the internet telling people they are less of a woman or their kids will be fat and stupid. It's kind of out of control.
Throughout my adult life, all 26 years of it, from the age of 18 to now, I've had plenty of successes and plenty of failures. Some of the failures are harder to put in perspective than others and harder to accept. But some old adages that are far older than I am are still true. One of these is, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." So wrapping all the way back to the original post, a negaive campaign on BF and making negative "failure" attacks on the very real choices that women have to make in childbirth and in feeding make make the claimant feel self-righteous but at the cost of alienating the general public. And if the goal is to attract more people to a practice, then this is not the best method. If your goals are purely self-congratulatory and self-serving, then congratulations.
