breastfed babies result in better behaved children?

[Tiff]

To be fair, Crossroads has spoken earlier about what she went through to try and breastfeed. She didn't have an easy time of it, but it was important to her so she kept going.

Not that I condone how she words things in posts, but I thought I'd bring that up.

As for studies and whatnot, I think they can be conclusive. I kind of think of it the same as when they started the "Back to Sleep" campaign, and the figures of how when they started urging mothers to have their children sleep on their backs as the best way to reduce the risk of SIDS.

Again, like BM - that isn't some sort of shield that means that if you did put your baby on their back to sleep it'll never happen. Ditto for BF - It isn't a shield that will protect your baby from everything. But the studies support the findings, ditto for BF studies. That doesn't mean though that every mother puts her baby on their backs to sleep, some babies just don't sleep on their backs and sleep much better on their tummies.

Does that make them bad mothers? No, they are doing what's best for them and baby. They understand that the studies say different but will do what is best for them. Same with the decision to FF.

I dunno... I would no sooner preach to a mother for putting her child to sleep on their tummies moreover than I would to a mother that FF.

Hope that makes sense. Studies CAN be helpful, but not following what they say isn't exactly grounds to be tarred and feathered either.

 

[Janesworld]

I think the real issue is the cheese here. Here? Or East to West? Maybe. But that's what it comes down to. So lets pray for that "thing" and hope for the best.

 

[Kalah]

I think the real issue is the cheese here. Here? Or East to West? Maybe. But that's what it comes down to. So lets pray for that "thing" and hope for the best.

What? I might sound dumb saying this but that made no sense what so ever.

 

[indy and lara]

I'm not convinced by the child spacing element tbh. Emma was exclusively BF, fed through the night still and was feeding up to 8 times a day but my period was back before 5 months after she was born. I most certainly would not advocate that anyone relies on BF as a method of contraception unless they would be happy to have another baby.

However, this thread was not about the benefits of BF to Mum but about whether it impacts on LO's behaviour so I won't go on!

THIS! I exclusively BF Bella and she too was up every 1-3 hours during the night until she was about 8 months old and I got my period back when she was 4 months old.

Wait I'm confused on this part, what does getting your period back at 4 months have to do with it?
There are three things that have to be true for breastfeeding to be a contraceptive, and ALL three have to be true:
1. Not had a period at all since birth
2. Baby is under 6 months old
3. Baby nurses at least every 4 hours day and night

You will be fertile before your 1st period comes if you have ovulated, hence the fact that BF is not reliable enough for me to consider it a method of contraception. You don't know when your period will return and could easily get caught before your 1st one, especially if your LO is under 6 months and feeding regularly and just not expecting it to come.

Just saw someone else posted a reply. Ooops!

 

[indy and lara]

Here's the thing. I really believe in BF. I enjoyed BF. It wasn't a bind and Emma thrived on breastmilk alone. I try (but don't always succeed) to eat as naturally as I can so giving BM to Emma fits my ethos well. I believe that BF gives the best start to life and I stand by the choices I made. This does not mean that I think FF is awful. It was just not my choice.

I do not think (as I have said already) that BF is the magic pill which makes everyone a genius and perfectly behaved. I don't think that it is the cure to all illnesses (although a wee dab in the eye is fabby for baby sticky eye!) But I do believe that it can make a difference. BM alone will not turn an Ordinary Joe into Einstein but I do believe it can make a difference to both behaviour and intelligence/ ability. The actual science does convince me. Yes, of course lots of other activties will add to potential but I am happy that I have added in another extra which will help too.

The thing about anecdotal evidence is that someone always knows someone who bucks the research. You know, the granny who is 100, smokes 40 a day and never been a day ill in their lives? However, that is just one person and it doesn't mean that we could all do that and be the same.

Nowhere does it say that FF means children are feral/ running wild/ underachieving because if it did I would be up in arms saying that it was rubbish. It is just about whether or not you think BF adds something more. I just think that BF is the best start possible. This does not mean that other starts in loving, nurturing and caring families are not damn good starts too. Being pro one thing does not mean that you are automatically anti the other.

 

[Tiff]

Well said Indy. Unfortunately (and this goes with both sides) you get people who aren't as diplomatic in what they say. They are unapologetic for the way in which they speak about it and it just gives both sides a bad name.

I've lost count of how many times BF moms feel that they need to tiptoe around FF moms lest make them feel that they were rubbing it in their faces, just as I've lost count how many FF Moms take what people passionately say about BF and feel judged over it.

 

[Gen79]

To be fair, Crossroads has spoken earlier about what she went through to try and breastfeed. She didn't have an easy time of it, but it was important to her so she kept going.

Not that I condone how she words things in posts, but I thought I'd bring that up.

As for studies and whatnot, I think they can be conclusive. I kind of think of it the same as when they started the "Back to Sleep" campaign, and the figures of how when they started urging mothers to have their children sleep on their backs as the best way to reduce the risk of SIDS.

Again, like BM - that isn't some sort of shield that means that if you did put your baby on their back to sleep it'll never happen. Ditto for BF - It isn't a shield that will protect your baby from everything. But the studies support the findings, ditto for BF studies. That doesn't mean though that every mother puts her baby on their backs to sleep, some babies just don't sleep on their backs and sleep much better on their tummies.

Does that make them bad mothers? No, they are doing what's best for them and baby. They understand that the studies say different but will do what is best for them. Same with the decision to FF.

I dunno... I would no sooner preach to a mother for putting her child to sleep on their tummies moreover than I would to a mother that FF.

Hope that makes sense. Studies CAN be helpful, but not following what they say isn't exactly grounds to be tarred and feathered either.

THIS. This is exactly what I was trying to get across. Thank you.

 

[Laura2919]

I think the real issue is the cheese here. Here? Or East to West? Maybe. But that's what it comes down to. So lets pray for that "thing" and hope for the best.

What? I might sound dumb saying this but that made no sense what so ever.

I dont get it either...

 

[Laura2919]

To be fair, Crossroads has spoken earlier about what she went through to try and breastfeed. She didn't have an easy time of it, but it was important to her so she kept going.

Not that I condone how she words things in posts, but I thought I'd bring that up.

As for studies and whatnot, I think they can be conclusive. I kind of think of it the same as when they started the "Back to Sleep" campaign, and the figures of how when they started urging mothers to have their children sleep on their backs as the best way to reduce the risk of SIDS.

Again, like BM - that isn't some sort of shield that means that if you did put your baby on their back to sleep it'll never happen. Ditto for BF - It isn't a shield that will protect your baby from everything. But the studies support the findings, ditto for BF studies. That doesn't mean though that every mother puts her baby on their backs to sleep, some babies just don't sleep on their backs and sleep much better on their tummies.

Does that make them bad mothers? No, they are doing what's best for them and baby. They understand that the studies say different but will do what is best for them. Same with the decision to FF.

I dunno... I would no sooner preach to a mother for putting her child to sleep on their tummies moreover than I would to a mother that FF.

Hope that makes sense. Studies CAN be helpful, but not following what they say isn't exactly grounds to be tarred and feathered either.

I have also spoken about what I went through with my twins. I couldnt continue expressing ( I didnt breastfeed but expressed) we all have challenges, doesnt mean she can force it upon us or even use the tone she does with her posts...
Like we are below her cos she breastfed, she doesnt even seem sorry for the way she posts. I know you have stated this in your post but there are thousands of women who struggle and some dont come through at the end loving breastfeeding and it being a walk in the park. I am glad she got to breastfeed but the silly list she posted is just that.. It can make a FF mum feel terrible for not trying harder when she has nothing to feel sorry for..

 

[crossroads]

everybody knows breast is best regardless of how they feed their baby but crossroads seems to have a particularly stinky attitude towards women who dont breastfeed. But would she feel differently if she couldnt breastfeed herself?? But of course im sure she would be in that 2% who actually cant, not the 98% who just 'dont made the cut'
Maybe she would think twice about how she words things and gets her point across.
Give facts, give figures but remember not everybody is always the norm of a statistic.

I've done a little research into the 2% who can't breastfeed. They have conditions such as insufficient glandular tissue whereby there is not enough milk ducts. As I have breastfed my baby for over 10 months now I think I can reasonably predict that I'm not going to suddenly appear in the 2%. As much as you guys would love it to be so

Crossroads i hope to god you dont have trouble breastfeeding your new baby otherwise you are gunna hit the rock bottom of depression with your attitude

I don't think thats true. I think she has a clear understanding of the difference between fact vs opinion and if she couldn't breastfeed she'd still know that breastfeeding was best and wouldn't need to rationalise that actually the scientists are wrong because its just not fair.

V. true.

To be fair, Crossroads has spoken earlier about what she went through to try and breastfeed. She didn't have an easy time of it, but it was important to her so she kept going.

Thank you. I had a terrible time for almost half a year. I posted on B&B about it regularly. I had very severe PND (which I'm now medicated for), reocurring, thrush in the breast, unsatisfactory weight gain in my baby (according to threatening bullying health visitor so I took my baby to a hospital peadiatrician who, after several appointments, eventually reassured me baby was fine), I've seen many doctors, I've seen baby dieticians at hospital, I've been given terrible advice from "breastfeeding counsellors" leading me to pump my breasts through the night alone and crying worrying about supply, I've had unsupportive family and friends, and still today I send my husband to weigh my baby at the clinic because I can't face the bullying health visitors (even though baby's weight is doing good). If anything this experience has made me scared of "health professionals" because of their ignorance and agendas.

All this has been doccumented on B&B so you'll know I'm not making it up.

Breastfeeding didn't start to get easy for me till at least 5 months. Some of the comments that have been made here sound like I'm one of the lucky few that find breastfeeding effortless - NOT true.

Breastfeeding is hard. I think it's precisely because I have endured a lot that I have little sympathy for people in the 98% who give up. Especially when they know breast is best for their baby. Why wouldn't they fight tooth and nail to give their baby the start in life they deserve? Every baby deserves breastmilk.

 

[Sarahkka]

I'm with Janesworld.
It's all about the cheese.

 

[Kalah]

everybody knows breast is best regardless of how they feed their baby but crossroads seems to have a particularly stinky attitude towards women who dont breastfeed. But would she feel differently if she couldnt breastfeed herself?? But of course im sure she would be in that 2% who actually cant, not the 98% who just 'dont made the cut'
Maybe she would think twice about how she words things and gets her point across.
Give facts, give figures but remember not everybody is always the norm of a statistic.

I've done a little research into the 2% who can't breastfeed. They have conditions such as insufficient glandular tissue whereby there is not enough milk ducts. As I have breastfed my baby for over 10 months now I think I can reasonably predict that I'm not going to suddenly appear in the 2%. As much as you guys would love it to be so

Crossroads i hope to god you dont have trouble breastfeeding your new baby otherwise you are gunna hit the rock bottom of depression with your attitude

I don't think thats true. I think she has a clear understanding of the difference between fact vs opinion and if she couldn't breastfeed she'd still know that breastfeeding was best and wouldn't need to rationalise that actually the scientists are wrong because its just not fair.

V. true.

To be fair, Crossroads has spoken earlier about what she went through to try and breastfeed. She didn't have an easy time of it, but it was important to her so she kept going.

Thank you. I had a terrible time for almost half a year. I posted on B&B about it regularly. I had very severe PND (which I'm now medicated for), reocurring, thrush in the breast, unsatisfactory weight gain in my baby (according to threatening bullying health visitor so I took my baby to a hospital peadiatrician who, after several appointments, eventually reassured me baby was fine), I've seen many doctors, I've seen baby dieticians at hospital, I've been given terrible advice from "breastfeeding counsellors" leading me to pump my breasts through the night alone and crying worrying about supply, I've had unsupportive family and friends, and still today I send my husband to weigh my baby at the clinic because I can't face the bullying health visitors (even though baby's weight is doing good). If anything this experience has made me scared of "health professionals" because of their ignorance and agendas.

All this has been doccumented on B&B so you'll know I'm not making it up.

Breastfeeding didn't start to get easy for me till at least 5 months. Some of the comments that have been made here sound like I'm one of the lucky few that find breastfeeding effortless - NOT true.

Breastfeeding is hard. I think it's precisely because I have endured a lot that I have little sympathy for people in the 98% who give up. Especially when they know breast is best for their baby. Why wouldn't they fight tooth and nail to give their baby the start in life they deserve? Every baby deserves breastmilk.

Well I think with what you've gone through I can definitely understand why you're more "pushy" about BFing. To be honest in my opinion you've earned the right.

 

[Cloberella]

Breastfeeding is hard. I think it's precisely because I have endured a lot that I have little sympathy for people in the 98% who give up. Especially when they know breast is best for their baby. Why wouldn't they fight tooth and nail to give their baby the start in life they deserve? Every baby deserves breastmilk.

I've had a similar experience and to be honest I kind of feel the same. Maybe that makes me a bad person in some people's eyes but that's just the way I feel.

 

[crossroads]

everybody knows breast is best regardless of how they feed their baby but crossroads seems to have a particularly stinky attitude towards women who dont breastfeed. But would she feel differently if she couldnt breastfeed herself?? But of course im sure she would be in that 2% who actually cant, not the 98% who just 'dont made the cut'
Maybe she would think twice about how she words things and gets her point across.
Give facts, give figures but remember not everybody is always the norm of a statistic.

I've done a little research into the 2% who can't breastfeed. They have conditions such as insufficient glandular tissue whereby there is not enough milk ducts. As I have breastfed my baby for over 10 months now I think I can reasonably predict that I'm not going to suddenly appear in the 2%. As much as you guys would love it to be so

Crossroads i hope to god you dont have trouble breastfeeding your new baby otherwise you are gunna hit the rock bottom of depression with your attitude

I don't think thats true. I think she has a clear understanding of the difference between fact vs opinion and if she couldn't breastfeed she'd still know that breastfeeding was best and wouldn't need to rationalise that actually the scientists are wrong because its just not fair.

V. true.

To be fair, Crossroads has spoken earlier about what she went through to try and breastfeed. She didn't have an easy time of it, but it was important to her so she kept going.

Thank you. I had a terrible time for almost half a year. I posted on B&B about it regularly. I had very severe PND (which I'm now medicated for), reocurring, thrush in the breast, unsatisfactory weight gain in my baby (according to threatening bullying health visitor so I took my baby to a hospital peadiatrician who, after several appointments, eventually reassured me baby was fine), I've seen many doctors, I've seen baby dieticians at hospital, I've been given terrible advice from "breastfeeding counsellors" leading me to pump my breasts through the night alone and crying worrying about supply, I've had unsupportive family and friends, and still today I send my husband to weigh my baby at the clinic because I can't face the bullying health visitors (even though baby's weight is doing good). If anything this experience has made me scared of "health professionals" because of their ignorance and agendas.

All this has been doccumented on B&B so you'll know I'm not making it up.

Breastfeeding didn't start to get easy for me till at least 5 months. Some of the comments that have been made here sound like I'm one of the lucky few that find breastfeeding effortless - NOT true.

Breastfeeding is hard. I think it's precisely because I have endured a lot that I have little sympathy for people in the 98% who give up. Especially when they know breast is best for their baby. Why wouldn't they fight tooth and nail to give their baby the start in life they deserve? Every baby deserves breastmilk.

Well I think with what you've gone through I can definitely understand why you're more "pushy" about BFing. To be honest in my opinion you've earned the right.

Bless you

 

[Lightworker]

Crossroads- when I read your last post I was worried cuz my first thought was wow you sure are digging your grave here, but I have met many ladies in person who feel the same as you do about BFing attitudes and persistence but are wary of admitting it in public. X

 

[tiger]

i hope i dont get jumped on for this but here goes -
crossroads, you have been through alot and i think you have earned the right to promote breastfeeding, HOWEVER i feel you have not and will not earn the right to be so rude to others and put others down because their opinion differs from yours.
some women feel badly enough as it is, because they feel like they failed their baby and the way you word your posts just makes it worse. if you worded your posts a little differently, or werent so pushy about it , i feel that this wouldnt be a big debate like it is.

 

[crossroads]

i hope i dont get jumped on for this but here goes -
crossroads, you have been through alot and i think you have earned the right to promote breastfeeding, HOWEVER i feel you have not and will not earn the right to be so rude to others and put others down because their opinion differs from yours.
some women feel badly enough as it is, because they feel like they failed their baby and the way you word your posts just makes it worse. if you worded your posts a little differently, or werent so pushy about it , i feel that this wouldnt be a big debate like it is.

No one can 'make' you feel bad. Those feelings come from within.

 

[tiger]

i hope i dont get jumped on for this but here goes -
crossroads, you have been through alot and i think you have earned the right to promote breastfeeding, HOWEVER i feel you have not and will not earn the right to be so rude to others and put others down because their opinion differs from yours.
some women feel badly enough as it is, because they feel like they failed their baby and the way you word your posts just makes it worse. if you worded your posts a little differently, or werent so pushy about it , i feel that this wouldnt be a big debate like it is.

No one can 'make' you feel bad. Those feelings come from within.

my feelings when i failed to breastfeed came because of bf'ers like yourself judging, and making us feel bad. if i hadnt encountered people like you with opinions that are put across like yours, i wouldnt have felt as bad.
eta- i am not saying all breastfeeders with opinions like this was the cause, just people who put their opinions across like this

 

[bky]

I don't understand those who had a hard time and feel resentful at those people who 'give up'. The attitude totally escapes me. I'm using that term loosely because I honestly don't think breastfeeding failure (or failure to meet your goals) is 100%, or even 50%, about lack of determination, not enough elbow grease or anything like that. I don't think suffering is a badge of pride and some people like to use it as an 'I did it, why can't you?'
It's like you are resentful of your own BF experience, like you did it out of duty and you want others to suffer like you did because you are still angry. As I said, it escapes me.

I had an awful time. I got no support on here (I'm still afraid to ask questions sometimes), no support from any professional, and was actively told I was selfish, weak and not trying hard enough several times in various places.(So F* that idea that no one can make you feel bad but yourself ) Does my struggle give me the right to think less of anyone else's? No! If anything the people I'm jealous of are those that never had to make any of those hard choices, whether they be BF who it worked out for or people who chose to FF from the start. I just have sympathy and empathy for everyone else. I've been there, I failed and I know what it's like and I'm just determined to have less people feel what I felt. All that and I still came out the other side BFing.

I really dislike amateur lactivists. They preach the benefits of BF to those who know already. Everything they say is aimed at people who either don't want to try 'just because' (I'm not sure those people are real), or are 'giving up too easily'. Whatever that means. I don't know any other woman's circumstances like she does.
In my experience, people who choose to FF from the outset, or are happy with their choice to swap aren't often crippled with guilt and regret. So everything that is said and aimed at those people hits those that did try and did want to BF right in the heart.
Real lactivists give support, information and try and change policy. They are generally too busy to be arguing on the internet.

I certainly believe in the benefits of breastfeeding, but I also believe that the mother is still a person after she has a baby. I don't think mothers should be held so responsible. The amount you suffer does not make you a better mother.

 

[LeeBee]

I'm with Janesworld.
It's all about the cheese.

ditto