Breastfeeding - How to deal with negative reactions in public

[milf2be]

I think comparing women's suffrage to women breastfeeding is just a little out there.
No one is trying to make it illegal to breast feed in public, breastfeeding women do have a lot of pressure put on them and that's to present a positive educated perspective to people who maybe aren't aware. Sorry but women who wap their entire tit out in the middle of a store are NOT going to provoke a positive response for the rest of us. There is no reason to be so in your face so to speak when it's perfectly possible to breast feed in public with a modicum of respect for others. If there were two women breastfeeding, one doing it discreetly and showing as little as needed, and the other with their entire tit out sitting on a display unit who do you think is provoking a more positive reaction to the cause?

im repeating myself, but maybe the woman cant help showing more? i dont think its for us to judge, maybe she has problems latching the baby on and thats the only way she can do it?

this is something that does really worry me...iv got biggish boobs, big areola and flat nipples, im aware that it might take a bit more time to get baby latched on and i would hate people to think im giving breastfeeding a bad name for showing some boob while im trying
i tried the one up one down idea the other day (told you i was getting worried) and it didnt seem to be convering much, i even asked my OH and he just laughed and said i might as well by topless i dont know whether its the shape of my boobs or if im doing it wrong or what.

i obviously plan on practicing before i go out, but i dont plan on hiding away, i plan on sitting in a corner in costa having a nice hot chocolate and marshmellows

if anyone has got any advice on breastfeeding with flat nipples btw, please send us a message

 

[CamoQueen]

Let me first just say that I'm not opposed to breast feeding in public, though I personally wouldn't want to be one of the women who just "whip a tit out" and give the world a good show before the baby latches on. A feeding baby = not offensive. Nipples = offensive. If you have exceptionally large breasts and the baby can't cover them adequately and you're in a public place, you should probably either use a cover or do the one-up-one-down method that other women have spoken about.

I'm not really sure why people got so hung up on the urination example. That poster could have said, "having sex", "taking a shower", "changing your clothes", or "giving birth" -- the idea is that there are things that involve exposing your private bits that are usually done in private. If you're one of the women who have to take out your entire breast to feed the baby (and are in the vast minority of breastfeeding mothers), why not do it in the most private place available? I'm not saying you shouldn't feed your baby, but when you're looking for a place to sit down and whip it all out, why not pick the quietest, most private place available?

Oh, and PS - Urine is sterile inside the body. Once it leaves the body it encounters bacteria present on the body and in the environment and is no longer sterile. Breast milk is not ever sterile. Once upon a time people thought it was, but it's not really. It makes no difference though... if you're feeding your baby in a restaurant, the milk is going into the baby. Nobody will have contact with it. If you're peeing in a restaurant, hopefully you're peeing into a container. If you express milk on the floor of a restaurant or if you pee on the floor of a restaurant, the breast milk is more dangerous as it can carry infectious diseases that the urine cannot.

While breast milk isn't sterile (you're right, it's not), it carries antibacterial properties (see: https://thetruthaboutbreastfeeding.com/2009/05/21/the-antibacterial-properties-of-breast-milk/). Just an interesting article, I thought.

Speaking as someone who went through a very tough time adjusting to breastfeeding discreetly (I ended up using a cover, although after a year my son hated it with a passion and would pull it off without warning), I would imagine any women who had to pull her breast out to feed was still learning how to do it discreetly. Any times I may have shown more than was necessary was due to my inexperience, NOT my desire to 'put it all on show' or though my lack of caring. Personally, I do get upset by women who ignorantly assume if a breastfeeding woman is showing more of her breast it is because she doesn't care or wants to expose herself. I can guarantee you that is not the case, 95% of the time.

The urination thing is offensive because urination/defecation are seen a dirty, unhygienic acts. Comparing breastfeeding to urinating is akin to saying that breastfeeding is as dirty/unhygienic, even if that's not the intent. This is besides the fact that there are restrooms everywhere, but there are not private breastfeeding rooms everywhere! Same with bathrooms to shower in private, and changing rooms to change clothes in private, etc. When your baby is desperately hungry and needs to eat NOW and is screaming down the place, I am not going to sprint back to my car to feed in private (and might I add, discomfort) not offend people who might, if they are looking hard enough, see a split second of nipple. Nor am I going to run to the restroom to feed on a dirty toilet.

And this, this is all coming from a woman who went out of her way to be as discreet as possible! I did feed in my car, and in changing rooms more times than I can count. I always used a cover. I don't think it's necessarily the best choice to put yourself completely on display while breastfeeding... assuming that it IS your choice, and not due to accident/inexperience. I do think a woman should try to be discreet, but so does 99.9% of the breastfeeding population!

Okay, that's it, I've said my piece. I'm going to go back to making cupcakes now, and soothing my pregnant hormonal rages.

 

[Pixie2320]

I think comparing women's suffrage to women breastfeeding is just a little out there.
No one is trying to make it illegal to breast feed in public, breastfeeding women do have a lot of pressure put on them and that's to present a positive educated perspective to people who maybe aren't aware. Sorry but women who wap their entire tit out in the middle of a store are NOT going to provoke a positive response for the rest of us. There is no reason to be so in your face so to speak when it's perfectly possible to breast feed in public with a modicum of respect for others. If there were two women breastfeeding, one doing it discreetly and showing as little as needed, and the other with their entire tit out sitting on a display unit who do you think is provoking a more positive reaction to the cause?

im repeating myself, but maybe the woman cant help showing more? i dont think its for us to judge, maybe she has problems latching the baby on and thats the only way she can do it?

this is something that does really worry me...iv got biggish boobs, big areola and flat nipples, im aware that it might take a bit more time to get baby latched on and i would hate people to think im giving breastfeeding a bad name for showing some boob while im trying
i tried the one up one down idea the other day (told you i was getting worried) and it didnt seem to be convering much, i even asked my OH and he just laughed and said i might as well by topless i dont know whether its the shape of my boobs or if im doing it wrong or what.

i obviously plan on practicing before i go out, but i dont plan on hiding away, i plan on sitting in a corner in costa having a nice hot chocolate and marshmellows

if anyone has got any advice on breastfeeding with flat nipples btw, please send us a message

There are BF covers like this one

https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4438712&CAWELAID=616453604

that would be able to keep everything covered up even with big "girls" I was DD before I got pregnant so I can't imagine mine will be too easy to keep hidden without a cover up. And these don't look like the baby could just yank them off like people say they do with blankets and whatnot, and I keep hearing people say Oh those covers draw attention to you, who cares? I don't care who KNOWS that I'm breastfeeding, as long as I'm not giving them an eyeful of my boob in the meantime

 

[lady_t_0]

I plan on breastfeeding if I can ( had a reduction ) and I will not be using a cover up. I'm proud of my body we all have the same it's not like people will see anything they haven't before (if they see anything). I can see the cover up being more hassle than worth more to think about carrying it around, getting it out, sorting it out. I'd rather just get on with feeding my baby that is hungry. I will not be exposing myself but if someone did see my nipple they shouldn't be looking at me so hard. I said to mum the other day I'd rather see someone breastfeeding in a restaurant than someone who has no table manners mouth wide open chomping on their food!

 

[milf2be]

im not really keen on the idea of the covers, do they remind anyone else of cooking aprons?
i found this one on the mothercare website:
https://www.mothercare.com/Cancer-Research-Mothercare-Breastfeeding-Cover/dp/B002HMYZ7S
which is reasonably priced compared to other ones iv found, but iv heard that some babies just dont like them and i think £15-£30 is quite a lot of money to waste, especially when you are a student.
also wont it take time to sort out and put on etc while your baby is getting worked up waiting for its feed? esp if i have trouble latching it on due to flat nipples, is this time i want to waste?

 

[Pixie2320]

im not really keen on the idea of the covers, do they remind anyone else of cooking aprons?
i found this one on the mothercare website:
https://www.mothercare.com/Cancer-Research-Mothercare-Breastfeeding-Cover/dp/B002HMYZ7S
which is reasonably priced compared to other ones iv found, but iv heard that some babies just dont like them and i think £15-£30 is quite a lot of money to waste, especially when you are a student.
also wont it take time to sort out and put on etc while your baby is getting worked up waiting for its feed? esp if i have trouble latching it on due to flat nipples, is this time i want to waste?

I can't imagine it taking too long to get out and put on? .. maybe 30 seconds or so? And as far as babies not liking it, I've never seen a baby pitch a fit about having a blanket over its carrier because it's windy or sunny etc out, I'm guessing once they get much older is when people have problems with their simple blanket getting pulled off by the kids.. But then I have my own opinions on how long is TOO long for breastfeeding, but I wont get into that can of worms

My entire point is, if women are striving to be able to breast feed in public without the nasty looks or sidelong glances, women who are discreet about it are doing MUCH more for our cause than those who just whap out their tit and say go for it.. Breasts are natural yes, so are mens dongs, and they have a purpose other than sex as well, but that doesn't mean I want to see a guys dong while I'm walking around shopping

 

[Faerie]

I had a bebe aulait cover, tried using it with Sofia when she was first out of hospital. She screamed, it was fussy getting to her under the cover... so in the end I gave it away, and have either used bf tops, vest under a top or a scarf/muslin laid over the top of the boob if I'm wearing something button down.

I know there's more of a fuss about NIP in the US, the only people I've ever seen using a cover here are the American expats.

 

[Faerie]

im repeating myself, but maybe the woman cant help showing more? i dont think its for us to judge, maybe she has problems latching the baby on and thats the only way she can do it?

this is something that does really worry me...iv got biggish boobs, big areola and flat nipples, im aware that it might take a bit more time to get baby latched on and i would hate people to think im giving breastfeeding a bad name for showing some boob while im trying
i tried the one up one down idea the other day (told you i was getting worried) and it didnt seem to be convering much, i even asked my OH and he just laughed and said i might as well by topless i dont know whether its the shape of my boobs or if im doing it wrong or what.

i obviously plan on practicing before i go out, but i dont plan on hiding away, i plan on sitting in a corner in costa having a nice hot chocolate and marshmellows

if anyone has got any advice on breastfeeding with flat nipples btw, please send us a message

Hi, my boobs aren't that big (about a D when nursing) but I had really flat nipples before bfing. They're not flat anymore, I know some women have issues with it but it's not a given. Having a big areola shouldn't be an issue, the baby just needs a good amount in his mouth.

When you were trying the tops, remember you will have a baby attached which will be covering some. Also once baby is on you can slide the top down further so it's just above him.

If you want a proper feeding top I recommend H&M, they're not too expensive, no faffing, easy access and cover well. Personally didn't get on with mothercare or jojomamanbebe, I think both are poorly designed.

 

[Rydia]

I have never had a negative reaction (to my face at least) to feeding in public and I never bothered with a blanket or trying to cover up particularly, so hopefully you wont get many (if any) either!

 

[Palestrina]

I think comparing women's suffrage to women breastfeeding is just a little out there.

It's not the same thing but it's worth a comparison. Whether it's a matter of legality or a matter of public acceptance, the issue poses a problem. It should be more acceptable I believe and to earn that acceptance we do have to make a stand. Nobody can decide this but us, no one has the power to make it a norm but us. Women's bodies have been exploited sexually in the media for decades. Alot of damage has been done. It's up to us to change that.

 

[Palestrina]

Let me first just say that I'm not opposed to breast feeding in public, though I personally wouldn't want to be one of the women who just "whip a tit out" and give the world a good show before the baby latches on. A feeding baby = not offensive. Nipples = offensive. If you have exceptionally large breasts and the baby can't cover them adequately and you're in a public place, you should probably either use a cover or do the one-up-one-down method that other women have spoken about.

We have to agree to disagree because I firmly believe that nipples are NOT offensive in any way. Also, there are a lot of us who have large breasts. At times it is uncomfortable because of the negative attention they receive. But I do not believe that I have less right to BF in public, and should I have an accident where baby moves its head or doesn't latch on and exposes more of me than you want to see I don't believe it is my responsibility to feel shame.