Breastfeeding in public

[CordeliaJ]

Any of you read the book "Room"? It's a bestseller about a woman and a boy trapped in a small room, he breast feeds until 5, and it was very much considered to be a social issue and not 'normal'. I use the word normal loosely because I'm talking about fiction here and not trying to offend. No one kicked up a fuss so far as I remember, here in the UK I remember lots of readers discussing how uncomfortable they felt reading about the child breast feeding at that age. I hosted numerous book groups and never heard anyone say any different. I think perhaps it's a culture thing.

 

[iwantabub]

with the argument that people eat in public why cant your baby....

i would just throw out there... so you are comfortable exposing part of your breast in public why cant women just walk around topless?

Saying that i do think that depending on the place an eating area is definitely the most apropriate public place to BF imo

Maybe I just care too much about what people think but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable around me...

I think why im on such a different page is you girls from UK and US it sounds like your environment is so different to ours... I haven't caught public transport for years and years as everyone where I live drives... the malls here are tiny compared to there and always have BFing rooms for the major ones ... also I dunno where else in public I'd really need to bf... going to visit people... just excuse myself for a moment or cover over with a muslin depending on the friend or family member...
Other than that I dont have to work for a while so not taking baby there...
I dunno where else I would have to BF... as i said we drive everywhere so no Public transport which probably makes a difference....

Because when there is a baby attached it is completely different

But that's the bottom line of the discussion. How is it different?! A bare boob is a bare boob. perhaps the view is that is should be different but that doesn't change how the majority of people view a bare boob.

Again because a baby is feeding from it. It's not just a bare boob it's a babies source of life.

I disagree..... i think other than on planes etc there are various options to bf or express to make that source available to your child ....its 2013 we have those facilities available and i dont see a naked boob with a baby on it to be any less uncomfortable then a naked boob without a baby on it


Im from Australia....

I think tbh over here the type of women who in public shops (in the north of the state where i work) and stuff are on benefits and theyre usually loud and rude and dont bf coz its good for bubs do it coz it cheap and they can spend more money on ciggarettes... they get theyre whole boob out and make everyone feel oncomfy...

however u go to the nicer part of town u wont see a woman bfing anywhere but the nice rooms they provide here... i dunno maybe it is more taboo?

I'm from Australia too. Your attitude is actually making me uncomfortable.

Do you care to elaborate?

and it comments like that that arent helpful at all.. if you would like to explain your point of view go right ahead,,, this is a healthy conversation with many different opinions... none right and none wrong...

im not pushing my views on anyone just saying what its like where i come from... please don't turn this into an immature argument.

 

[Babo]

Any of you read the book "Room"? It's a bestseller about a woman and a boy trapped in a small room, he breast feeds until 5, and it was very much considered to be a social issue and not 'normal'. I use the word normal loosely because I'm talking about fiction here and not trying to offend. No one kicked up a fuss so far as I remember, here in the UK I remember lots of readers discussing how uncomfortable they felt reading about the child breast feeding at that age. I hosted numerous book groups and never heard anyone say any different. I think perhaps it's a culture thing.

Haven't read it but totally agree. Whilst normal isn't always right - hence the discussion in the first place, cos just because normally boobs aren't on show should this mean we should be self conscious about breastfeeding - it doesn't sit comfortably that you would be breastfeeding a child that to be honest is not far off school! Now if we look at health benefits, why not express and give to child in a bottle? Loses the taboo and still gives the child the best.

 

[special_kala]

It is a cultural thing. Western society's in general are very far away from natural child rearing practises and have completely over sexualized breasts to the point where some people don't even realise their true purpose.

 

[special_kala]

Any of you read the book "Room"? It's a bestseller about a woman and a boy trapped in a small room, he breast feeds until 5, and it was very much considered to be a social issue and not 'normal'. I use the word normal loosely because I'm talking about fiction here and not trying to offend. No one kicked up a fuss so far as I remember, here in the UK I remember lots of readers discussing how uncomfortable they felt reading about the child breast feeding at that age. I hosted numerous book groups and never heard anyone say any different. I think perhaps it's a culture thing.

Haven't read it but totally agree. Whilst normal isn't always right - hence the discussion in the first place, cos just because normally boobs aren't on show should this mean we should be self conscious about breastfeeding - it doesn't sit comfortably that you would be breastfeeding a child that to be honest is not far off school! Now if we look at health benefits, why not express and give to child in a bottle? Loses the taboo and still gives the child the best.

Or why not normalise something completely natural?

 

[iwantabub]

i do agree we over sexualise things... but i just asked a male colleague if i was bfing in public would he have a perv of my boobs and he said ... yes... ask any male... yes they're lying if they say no ... its a boob and they will still take a look...
Thats a big part of it for me.. i dont want other men lookin at my boobs lol

 

[Babo]

It is a cultural thing. Western society's in general are very far away from natural child rearing practises and have completely over sexualized breasts to the point where some people don't even realise their true purpose.

'natural' child rearing practises? I don't think that's accurate either. Surely if you looked back far enough to the point before the human race was a social creature I would be very unsurprised if the natural thing to do was similar to most other species. Rear infant to point that it can survive without being attached to mother then shove it out to fend for itself!! To some extent anyway. I would say that breastfeeding long into childhood was more likely borne out of necessity when the world have moved on a bit and food was scarce in some parts.

 

[Babo]

i do agree we over sexualise things... but i just asked a male colleague if i was bfing in public would he have a perv of my boobs and he said ... yes... ask any male... yes they're lying if they say no ... its a boob and they will still take a look...
Thats a big part of it for me.. i dont want other men lookin at my boobs lol

Nor would my husband!!!

 

[misslissa]

Im from Australia....

I think tbh over here the type of women who in public shops (in the north of the state where i work) and stuff are on benefits and theyre usually loud and rude and dont bf coz its good for bubs do it coz it cheap and they can spend more money on ciggarettes... they get theyre whole boob out and make everyone feel oncomfy...

however u go to the nicer part of town u wont see a woman bfing anywhere but the nice rooms they provide here... i dunno maybe it is more taboo?

I'm surprised, I just thought Australia would be a really liberal place for bf. don't know why, suppose I imagine it being a easy going place?

Where I live there are no bf facilities in cafes, small town, but even in the bigger towns nearby the 'mother and baby' rooms always seem a bit grim so I think that influences me. I don't want to be sat on my own in a scanky room and miss out on the conversation with friends.

I think, no sorry, I know that strangers won't bother me - I know I'll be discreet as that's how I'll be comfy. My issue is more with doing it around family - not sure I'd ever feel comfy doing it round my dad for example! Bless him though, he'd make a very quick excuse and leg it to make a cup of tea if I bf near him I'm sure! That's a more uncomfortable situation for me.

 

[Babo]

Im from Australia....

I think tbh over here the type of women who in public shops (in the north of the state where i work) and stuff are on benefits and theyre usually loud and rude and dont bf coz its good for bubs do it coz it cheap and they can spend more money on ciggarettes... they get theyre whole boob out and make everyone feel oncomfy...

however u go to the nicer part of town u wont see a woman bfing anywhere but the nice rooms they provide here... i dunno maybe it is more taboo?

I'm surprised, I just thought Australia would be a really liberal place for bf. don't know why, suppose I imagine it being a easy going place?

Where I live there are no bf facilities in cafes, small town, but even in the bigger towns nearby the 'mother and baby' rooms always seem a bit grim so I think that influences me. I don't want to be sat on my own in a scanky room and miss out on the conversation with friends.

I think, no sorry, I know that strangers won't bother me - I know I'll be discreet as that's how I'll be comfy. My issue is more with doing it around family - not sure I'd ever feel comfy doing it round my dad for example! Bless him though, he'd make a very quick excuse and leg it to make a cup of tea if I bf near him I'm sure! That's a more uncomfortable situation for me.

Same here and will definitely go in another room if round a family/friend's house or go to the nursery if we have guests.

 

[CordeliaJ]

It is a cultural thing. Western society's in general are very far away from natural child rearing practises and have completely over sexualized breasts to the point where some people don't even realise their true purpose.

Well I'm not talking about breasts in a sexual context, but I still have a different opinion. I'm talking about what the mother is comfortable with, and now briefly the effects long-term breast feeding has on the child. It's ok to look after your children whatever way you choose, that doesn't mean someone using a different method is 'behind on child rearing practices'. I myself try to keep very up to date on the subject.

 

[special_kala]

i do agree we over sexualise things... but i just asked a male colleague if i was bfing in public would he have a perv of my boobs and he said ... yes... ask any male... yes they're lying if they say no ... its a boob and they will still take a look...
Thats a big part of it for me.. i dont want other men lookin at my boobs lol

Any man who perves on a woman whilst breastfeeding is disgusting imo. Saying men who say no are lying is a massive discredit to men, they are not animals and can control themselves.

I have fed infront of lots of my male friends and not one of them would ever perve on me whilst I was feeding.

Thankfully my husband isn't like your colleague. A 4 year old feeding isn't creepy but a grown man who can't control his eyes and penis sure is!

 

[Lisasmith]

I'm not turning anything into an immature argument. It made me uncomfortable that you said it's so taboo in Australia. It's not. And just because pumps are available why should we have to use them? Some women can't let down for pumps, babies refuse bottles and how does one heat a bottle on a plane? Why should I have to?

In my circle of friends from right across Australia we all Breastfeed in front of each others husbands and families and not one eyelid is batted towards our boobs. Any man educated on Breastfeeding would have more respect than that.

 

[misslissa]

Do blokes really perv over a bf mum? That's weird, you would think a baby being on the end of the boob would put them off!

Boobs are massively sexual and I don't ever want to forget / lose that long term. I understand there purpose I I hope bf works out for me as I know it's best for baby. Once the bf days are over I would like them to be sexual again. They are dual purpose in my eyes and when baby is born feeding tips the scale, when I stop sex will tip it the other way.

My OH is so pro bf it's helped me loads, I used to be really unsure about how I felt about it. Glad I have his support.

 

[iwantabub]

i agree... men who have wives etc that bf are usually better....

i, not saying they find it attractive,, but a naked breast draws attention... its human nature.....my coleague is a bit weird tho lol...

as bubo said tho my husband wouldnt be comfy with me getting my boob out infront of other men...

over here i think its been made untaboo because we have to be poiltically correct and telling a woman to cover up isn't anymore...

there was a debate on sunrise for those of u aussie moms a few weeks ago... koche felt the same that it was something to be bit more conservative over and there was a massive debate....

its so hard... for any of u adelaide girls... can u imagine walking into burnside shopiing centre and bfing ? i couldnt... but thats just me

melisa i completely agree,,, to me theyre still a sexual thing and i dont wanna lose that either... and by lots of randoms seeing them i feel like i may loose that feeling

 

[special_kala]

Your not getting your boobs out your feeding your baby.

Vaginas are sexual to our husband's but I'm sure they don't mind your doctor seeing while your giving birth. Same body part completely different context.

 

[iwantabub]

ye but a doctor (you would hope) is a trained professional .... im not gonna go flash my bits in the shops to guys .... same as id feel comfy bfing infront of my midwife coz thats her job... but not a bunch of random guys

 

[Lisasmith]

Maybe you should to break the taboo

One of my most darling friends has Breastfed in the shopping centre you mentioned and no one has ever made her feel uncomfortable there

 

[iwantabub]

really... wow... people look at u funny for just breathing there hahahah

elizabeth shopping centre is what put me off ... the mums there are all pretty loose and have whole boobs haniging out and they dont care....they pretty much make a specticle of it

 

[special_kala]

My male friend who doesn't have kids watched me breastfeed W a lot, he watched films with me whilst I bf laying down. He also was interested in me sexually (me and my DH were separated, his doing, I was completely loyal) but not once did he ever look at me in a sexual way whilst breastfeeding. I even asked him once and his reply was of course not your feeding your baby. He is a proper lads lad too.

Any mature man can separate breasts whilst feeding and breasts in a sexual way. Funnily enough I find its women who struggle more to separate the two things.