Breastfeeding is HARD (only for exclusively breastfeeding mommies)

[Jaylynne]

Maybe read it like this

Title: giving birth is hard! (only for those who went through labor)

Be warned, this is only for those who were able to give birth without the use of forceps or c sections.

Wouldn't that cause a stir too even if the op wanted a rant about how hard natural birth could be? How she could easily have worded the title "birth is hard" then put her rant with her experience. No exclusions. I highly doubt she would have gotten anything other than hugs that way.


It's sort of the same type of mindset to me, and aliss said it, it really wasn't the OP who got me so pissed off. Of course the title and first paragraph were a little like a slap in the face. Wy can't I offer hugs? Why do I need to be warned? I know other moms have a hard time with squirming babies on the breast, milk shooting everywhere, cluster feeding etc... If I need to be warned then yeah it's probably a bit offensive. But I already clicked on the thread thinking well I'm in the category so it's not like I knew before I started reading.

For those of you who say this is silly, look from our perspective. Would you enjoy being excluded, warned that your experience isn't what she's looking for even though yeah there are a lot of similarities and we could offer support and hugs, and then told/implied by other posters that all the effort that you're doing is second best? That direct nipple feeding is the only way to get exactly the best for baby? So no, to us it is not silly. Be counted lucky you're not in the position to understand how we feel. We would love to be in yours.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Good point, Jaylynne (says the mom who had a c-section too! )

 

[aliss]

When this many girls get hurt or offended, perhaps it's not because we're overly sensitive, but that the content may be genuinely offensive?

We're only "too sensitive" because we're not spitting in YOUR face. I suspect if it was the other way around, you'd feel the right to be hurt.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I wouldn't. I've seen plenty of threads for combi-feeding, EE, and FF mums and don't feel offended in the least although they are excluding me by their very nature.

 

[Dk1234]

Maybe read it like this

Title: giving birth is hard! (only for those who went through labor)

Be warned, this is only for those who were able to give birth without the use of forceps or c sections.

Wouldn't that cause a stir too even if the op wanted a rant about how hard natural birth could be? How she could easily have worded the title "birth is hard" then put her rant with her experience. No exclusions. I highly doubt she would have gotten anything other than hugs that way.


It's sort of the same type of mindset to me, and aliss said it, it really wasn't the OP who got me so pissed off. Of course the title and first paragraph were a little like a slap in the face. Wy can't I offer hugs? Why do I need to be warned? I know other moms have a hard time with squirming babies on the breast, milk shooting everywhere, cluster feeding etc... If I need to be warned then yeah it's probably a bit offensive. But I already clicked on the thread thinking well I'm in the category so it's not like I knew before I started reading.

For those of you who say this is silly, look from our perspective. Would you enjoy being excluded, warned that your experience isn't what she's looking for even though yeah there are a lot of similarities and we could offer support and hugs, and then told/implied by other posters that all the effort that you're doing is second best? That direct nipple feeding is the only way to get exactly the best for baby? So no, to us it is not silly. Be counted lucky you're not in the position to understand how we feel. We would love to be in yours.

Exactly!

 

[Dk1234]

I wouldn't. I've seen plenty of threads for combi-feeding, EE, and FF mums and don't feel offended in the least although they are excluding me by their very nature.

I am sorry but you are being ridiculous. You, not the op, are the reason people are still hurt. You should apologize to everyone including the op because you've made her look bad. She has apologized and cleared her intent up while you insist on making it seem her intent was otherwise and justified.

 

[BlueHadeda]

I think this would be about the 4th time I'm apologising! But if that's what's needed...I DO apologise for offending anyone that misconstrued my message, for my bad title or choice of words. We have a saying in my home tongue "Almal wil 'n eiertjie le". Translating roughly to "everyone wants to lay an egg". I think that's what is happening now. Doesn't matter how many times I apologise, people want to have THEIR say. I understand and would've felt the same, but I think this thread is done, and I will be asking that it must be closed.

I appreciate those that supported me, and understood the gist of my message. I feel much better after venting and hearing that others are in the same boat as me. I will however try to tread lightly in the future.

PinkLightbulb (sorry for highlighting you alone in here) - I do not feel offended by any of your replies and there's no need to apologise. I think you understood what I meant, and I felt support from you, and appreciated it. Thank you.

Thank you for everyone's advice, support and opinions.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I wouldn't. I've seen plenty of threads for combi-feeding, EE, and FF mums and don't feel offended in the least although they are excluding me by their very nature.

I am sorry but you are being ridiculous. You, not the op, are the reason people are still hurt. You should apologize to everyone including the op because you've made her look bad. She has apologized and cleared her intent up while you insist on making it seem her intent was otherwise and justified.

'Scuse you? If you have such a problem with me, report me. But don't speak down to me like I'm a child. I will apologise if and when I see it fit to, and I don't at all.

OP: No worries, I get it. I'm just trying to understand why all the offense has been taken still. You have nothing to be sorry for. I don't think I do either to be frank. I understood what you meant.

 

[Lady_Bee]

I wouldn't. I've seen plenty of threads for combi-feeding, EE, and FF mums and don't feel offended in the least although they are excluding me by their very nature.

I may be wrong but I don't think it was so much the exclusion alone that rubbed people the wrong way, it was the implication that the excluded groups didn't want the best for their baby otherwise they would have exclusively breastfed direct from the breast like she does rather than take an easy way out (ha). And I don't think anybody imagined that part, it's right there at the end of her rant. ohhhh well. Of course it's a load of rubbish as anyone who doesn't ebf straight from the tap knows.

 

[katrinalorien]

Its tough when none of us get sleep! Don't forget we are all tired!

 

[pinklightbulb]

I wouldn't. I've seen plenty of threads for combi-feeding, EE, and FF mums and don't feel offended in the least although they are excluding me by their very nature.

I may be wrong but I don't think it was so much the exclusion alone that rubbed people the wrong way, it was the implication that the excluded groups didn't want the best for their baby otherwise they would have exclusively breastfed direct from the breast like she does. And I don't think anybody imagined that part, it's right there at the end of her rant. ohhhh well. Of course it's a load of rubbish as anyone who doesn't ebf straight from the tap knows.

Ah. Well, clumsy wording happens. I truly don't think she was being malicious.

 

[Lady_Bee]

I wouldn't. I've seen plenty of threads for combi-feeding, EE, and FF mums and don't feel offended in the least although they are excluding me by their very nature.

I may be wrong but I don't think it was so much the exclusion alone that rubbed people the wrong way, it was the implication that the excluded groups didn't want the best for their baby otherwise they would have exclusively breastfed direct from the breast like she does. And I don't think anybody imagined that part, it's right there at the end of her rant. ohhhh well. Of course it's a load of rubbish as anyone who doesn't ebf straight from the tap knows.

Ah. Well, clumsy wording happens. I truly don't think she was being malicious.

Nah me neither. Just careless and not really thinking before speaking.

 

[RoseKitten]

Didn't the OP say English wasn't her first language? I wouldn't consider it "not thinking before speaking" as much as "doesn't speak English as her primary language."

That said, this thread has given me a lot of perspective on the different choices moms make with their children, and has given me a lot to think about on the different options I will have.

 

[meli1981]

i ebf my first, no pumping or anything, and it was pretty easy! (for me) i bf and pumped with my second because she wouldnt stay on! soooo annoying! i actually found pumping easier, primarily because i had SO much milk, it only took about five min to get five ounces! pumping is really an art! but i wouldve done anything to have my baby at my breast, it just didnt work

 

[Leids]

Woo, this topic got a little heated!

Anyways, I EBF, not by choice really as I'd love it if he took a bottle so I could go out occasionally. I have freezer full of expressed bm just sitting there unloved.

HUGE rant incoming!

Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I've ever done though. It takes more commitment than I thought I had, I'm amazed I'm still going, but couldn't imagine ever quitting before my goal of 1 year. I suffered a lot of digestion problems for 6 weeks post partum, I was in the bathroom 24/7 and refused to take medication that would help because it would interfere with breastfeeding. I was in so much pain, in and out of the doctor's/hospital.

I now have recurrent milk blebs. Which are similar to 1st week of breastfeeding pain. I've gotten some relief with lethicin though, thank goodness! He has a tongue tie, so his latch is shallow. The doctor doesn't want to clip it because they think it will grow normally in another 3 months, and he has another evaluation at the ENT then.

I have severe ADD, that I've had since I was young. I was on medication for it for 15 years, and had to suddenly stop when I got pregnant. It was the worst few weeks I've ever experienced! I couldn't even get out of bed without falling to my knees because I didn't have enough energy to move. I had to take a few weeks off of work because it was just too much. I swore I was going to formula feed, so that I could get back on my medication. He's too important to me though, and I'm willing to suffer a little while longer so that he can have the best start. I'm even starting classes without my medication! Which is a huge deal, as I can't focus on anything without my head feeling cloudy and getting a headache. It's awful, but he's worth it.

We all have our own stories. Breastfeeding takes so much self sacrifice, no matter what form it is. Straight from the breast, or exclusively pumping (which actually takes MORE time!) I'm sometimes jealous of the women who formula feed, because I'd like to go out, or to be able to take my medication and feel normal again. I see how well he thrives on breast milk though, and how happy he is, and I would feel like an awful person if I just stopped and denied him of it. I would feel selfish, and I don't think I would be able to forgive myself.

I'm so proud of myself. I want to hug every woman who chooses to breastfeed their baby, because of how much work it takes.

 

[Jaylynne]

i ebf my first, no pumping or anything, and it was pretty easy! (for me) i bf and pumped with my second because she wouldnt stay on! soooo annoying! i actually found pumping easier, primarily because i had SO much milk, it only took about five min to get five ounces! pumping is really an art! but i wouldve done anything to have my baby at my breast, it just didnt work

Omg, 5oz in 5 min?! So jealous that's amazing

 

[meli1981]

thanks! although overproduction caused me sooo many problems! my babe wouldnt stay on my breast, so sge would start sucking enough for the letdown, and then she would go off and her and i would be soaked! it was sooooo annoying!

 

[pinklightbulb]

I wish I could pump. The one bottle Eamon ever got of EBM took me an hour to produce and only had 150ml in it... and that was out of both sides Maybe I was doing it wrong or something...

 

[Jaylynne]

^^ that's actually pretty good if you're not used to pumping. 5oz is a very decent amount. Pumping is something that is different for everyone and it takes time ad practice to figure out a groove.

 

[Liesje]

Woo, this topic got a little heated!

Anyways, I EBF, not by choice really as I'd love it if he took a bottle so I could go out occasionally. I have freezer full of expressed bm just sitting there unloved.

HUGE rant incoming!

Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I've ever done though. It takes more commitment than I thought I had, I'm amazed I'm still going, but couldn't imagine ever quitting before my goal of 1 year. I suffered a lot of digestion problems for 6 weeks post partum, I was in the bathroom 24/7 and refused to take medication that would help because it would interfere with breastfeeding. I was in so much pain, in and out of the doctor's/hospital.

I now have recurrent milk blebs. Which are similar to 1st week of breastfeeding pain. I've gotten some relief with lethicin though, thank goodness! He has a tongue tie, so his latch is shallow. The doctor doesn't want to clip it because they think it will grow normally in another 3 months, and he has another evaluation at the ENT then.

I have severe ADD, that I've had since I was young. I was on medication for it for 15 years, and had to suddenly stop when I got pregnant. It was the worst few weeks I've ever experienced! I couldn't even get out of bed without falling to my knees because I didn't have enough energy to move. I had to take a few weeks off of work because it was just too much. I swore I was going to formula feed, so that I could get back on my medication. He's too important to me though, and I'm willing to suffer a little while longer so that he can have the best start. I'm even starting classes without my medication! Which is a huge deal, as I can't focus on anything without my head feeling cloudy and getting a headache. It's awful, but he's worth it.

We all have our own stories. Breastfeeding takes so much self sacrifice, no matter what form it is. Straight from the breast, or exclusively pumping (which actually takes MORE time!) I'm sometimes jealous of the women who formula feed, because I'd like to go out, or to be able to take my medication and feel normal again. I see how well he thrives on breast milk though, and how happy he is, and I would feel like an awful person if I just stopped and denied him of it. I would feel selfish, and I don't think I would be able to forgive myself.

I'm so proud of myself. I want to hug every woman who chooses to breastfeed their baby, because of how much work it takes.

X2 except my body just refuses to produce enough milk no matter wtf I do to it. I'm even taking 100mg of domperidone a day, nothing. 5 months later I'm still trying though.
BTW with your ADD do you find it really hard to focus on just sitting down and breastfeeding? One of the hardest parts for me (and I know this sounds stupid and trivial to everyone else) is not fidgeting and doing other things to distract my baby and he comes unlatched all the time.