Breastfeeding is HARD (only for exclusively breastfeeding mommies)

[ChesMik4eva]

If you EBF at all, this relates to you. Or am I missing something?

After reading some of your responses I'd say what you are missing is some manners!

I will be introducing a bottle of expressed breast milk at some point and will still consider myself an exclusive bf'er. And yes I take offence to someone who tells me that doing so means I don't exclusively bf.

Why is this even a discussion? Your child is having nothing but your breast milk so who cares how they get it. I'm assuming most people who pump and feed only do so out of necessity as I'm sure we can all agree it's more of a hassle than giving baby the breast directly.

This thread was purely meant to discuss the hardships of establishing breastfeeding (direct from the breast) during the early days.

What a ridiculous argument, exclusive "breast" feeding or occasionally giving a bottle of expressed milk, who cares?! It's nothing to get upset about I really don't see much of a difference..

 

[Dk1234]

The point everyone is trying to make is that it was basically worded like breastfeeding is hard, only for those who don't "give in" and give their baby and occassional bottle because "EBF'ers" are stubborn enough to give their baby the best. As if the rest of us weren't doing everything to be able to give our babies the best. And it was worded in a way that said people who give a rare bottle or people who pump to go back to work or people who EE wren even truly breastfeeding. The op may not have meant it, but a few people sure are defending that stance even if she didn't.

 

[BlueHadeda]

Gosh, I went to bed (I'm in a different time zone) and this thread continued for pages and pages!!! I'm not sure if I should get it locked, or if it's a good discussion and for people to vent, because we all clearly need a bit of venting?!

I really do apologise that this has turned into a discussion whether pumping (even for 1 bottle!!!) is even still called exclusive breastfeeding. That has not been my intention at all, and I actually don't even know why it happened? My original post stated: I don't want to offend, so if you supplement with formula or pump, you've been warned - this is for exclusively breastfeeding mommies who don't pump or give bottles. I clearly stated it's for breastfeeding mommies who don't pump. I didn't say you're NOT called exclusively breastfeeding mommies...I just needed to vent to people who's in my shoes - those that hasn't yet introduced a bottle. I certainly WILL introduce a bottle to my baby in a few months time (for going out for example). I have absolutely nothing against that. And I will still call myself an exclusively brastfeeding mommy.

So I'm really sorry if anyone took offense, I obviously hasn't thought things through when I posted. I really just needed to vent about the hassle of establishing breastfeeding from the breasts, and how hard it is, even after 4 babies. I also never meant to say that some people aren't doing the best for their babies. Just that I'm so darn stubborn to not consider other options, because I hold onto this thought that for my body, and my baby, getting this breastfeeding thing right is the best. For US. I did not mean to imply that anyone not doing what I'm doing, isn't doing the best FOR THEM or THEIR baby.

I do appreciate all the comments though, and has learned quite a bit about how other mommies feel, which in turn would give me better insight in the future. Thank you everyone!!

 

[helen_beee]

ChesMik4eva I am not the one who started this ridiculous argument, I have been left feeling like I need to defend myself because the OP said that giving a baby expressed breast milk meant that I didn't want what was best for the baby. I did not start the argument, just defending myself!!

Dk1234 you are able to word it much better than I can. I'm sure all mummies want the best for their baby and shouldn't be made to feel otherwise because of the way they feed their babies.

 

[mia_leacey]

But the OP hasn't said any of this!?!

Ok, I can see why people have misinterpreted what she said but I honestly don't think it's been meant in the way a lot of people have taken it.

She hasn't said pumping isn't hard. She hasn't said that combi feeding isn't difficult. She hasn't said she's better than anyone else. She hasn't said feeding bottles of EBM isn't EBF. She's just said what she's doing and that the early days are a struggle.

I can relate. Sometimes I feel I don't have that much to offer in this section of the forum. I've been SO lucky to have had a pretty straightforward BFing journey. It's like with the BF Champions thread. Nothing against that, but I don't feel I would qualify. What have our traumas been? Thrush, nursing strikes, biting, early return of AF (causing some nipple soreness), rapid decline in weight gain leading to us experiementing with combi feeding for a while. But that's about it. Nothing majorly traumatic or horrific and nothing compared to what some Mummies go through. Does that mean it wasn't hard at times? No. But I tend not to say that as I wouldn't want to offend anyone who'd had a harder time of it than us.

So I can see what the OP was trying to say. Sometimes, you just want to say, even though everything you're going through is within the realms of normal, and within the context of what some Mums go through, not that bad at all, it's still bloody hard sometimes!

We're all doing brilliant jobs because we all do the best we can in our own circumstances. Let's not beat each other up.

 

[Celesse]

I think that you can rant about how hard it is to exclusively breastfeed without even mentioning people who pump or supplement or use formula. But the original post is negative towards those of us who have done so. It happens on other threads as well.

Why not just say "X is hard work!!"
Instead of "X is hard work, not just Y and harder than Z".

 

[shorman]

I think either way your all doing great I feel jealous that you all can give your child breast milk I think the op was just trying to say breastfeeding as in baby exclusilvely on the breast is hard not saying that it's not hard for others, a hands up I think that's totally great I wish I could I formula feeding so sorry for crashing the thread but breastfeeding knowledge I feel is important so even though I don't breastfeed I read about it do when my girls if they have children I can give them advise from every side and hopefully give them support no matter what I think mums have it hard enough without having to judge each other.

 

[EarthMama]

This thread is a major face-palm. In so many ways. Why quibble about what defines a breastfeeder? Why get upset that your definition differs from that of another? What purpose does this serve? How does this help humanity?

Zooming out...there is really nothing going on here at all. People are arguing over nothing.

To the OP: YEP it's hard to keep a newborn attached to the breast constantly. I gave a bottle of boobie milk once out of curiousity to see if he would take it. He did. But he loves nuzzling my boob. And lately, biting me.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I'm sorry OP, but this is why FFers and Expressing mums feel like EBFing mums are constantly judging them. This just perpetuates that stereotype.

For the record, I have EBF for 14 months now. I would never judge a mum for combi feeding, using formula or having to express so they can work.

 

[aliss]

Is this to imply that feeding straight from the tap is harder than exclusive pumping? Okay... that's a new one to me. I would have killed to be able to feed straight from the breast rather than pump 24/7. At least I could have laid on the bed.

Pumping doesn't necessarily mean giving a bottle so you can go out for an hour (although of course there is nothing wrong with that), sometimes we do it because our babies are injured or sick and we don't have a choice. Has anyone here tried to 'proper' breastfeed a baby with a shoulder fracture?

 

[aliss]

And what pisses me off here is the implication that exclusive pumping is not "EBF", it most certainly is and congrats to all those who are blessed to never have to take that road.

The pregnant women who say they want to exclusively pump for "lifestyle" choice or whatever hardly ever (if not never) actually do it. Those who exclusively pump do it because it's either that or formula, we do the best we can with the circumstances given to us. I didn't ask for a baby with birth injury, I'm sure all those women in the preemie section did not ask to give birth at 25-30 weeks with a baby that cannot suck, I'm sure other girls would have preferred not to go back to work at 1 week or something insane like that, particularly American girls who have zero maternity leave or government support that might be available to others, but we do what we did because we tried our damndest and I'll be darned if ANYONE tries to imply that those hard working girls did not "EBF".

Believe me, if we could have "proper" breastfed, we would have. They don't spend $1300 on a double electric medela because they just have too much $ laying around.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Aliss

 

[NickyT75]

she never said expressing wasn't EBF

People are being far too sensitive when she has clearly stated on more than one occasion that this is not what she meant at all

It seems that no matter what the OP says people are still choosing to take offence *sigh*

you are all clearly brilliant mums who are doing the best you can do in the specific situations you are in so why continue to get worked up when the OP has apologised for any misunderstandings she may have inadvertently caused? xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

It's not the people are being far too sensitive.

BFing mums struggle with the view that they are constantly judging those that don't BF. That's where my irritation comes from at least.

 

[aliss]

There were other people who said pumping did not mean EBF. There were other condescending comments made after the OP, believe me, she's not the only one I took issue with!

If I'm sensitive then so be it, hopefully those who make such comments will never experience the choice

 

[future_numan]

I think people are being way too over sensitive.
It reads to me like this women was having a hard day and needed to vent and support.
I don't think she was putting down anyone for their choices. Just SHE was having a hard day.
Really?! People on this site is getting worst for making everything into to a debate instead of being caring and understanding.
Everyone has bad days and just need to feel like they are being heard.
Every mother ( no mater how she feeds her baby) has hard times..
Drop the debate and just support each other.. geez

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Unfortunately, the way it was worded was not just a rant. I've ranted about breastfeeding before without the need to say anyone else was taking the easy way out.

 

[future_numan]

Maybe she did word it wrong in the moment of frustration.
Everybodys done that before..
People also read things the way they want / need to see it.

 

[pinklightbulb]

If anyone is referring to me, I never said anything about pumping being harder or not. In fact, I said I didn't care how you fed your baby. What I did say was that I am sick of anyone who's everyone who doesn't EBF constantly taking issue with anything EBFs say and twisting words to suit themselves-- causing friction where there needn't have been any.

To the poster who said I need manners: I didn't come in here and take offense. That is what I call rude-- implying offense where none was meant at all.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I didn't even read the whole thread, lol, so I don't know who said what. My initial reaction is off the first post.