Breastfeeding

[blutea]

I wondered if you can help - I have a child who is now 3 years and 4 months old. Baby should be here in another 2 weeks time. I breastfed my first for 26 months and she has not forgotten and says that she wants to breastfeed with the baby. Is this likely to cause trouble? I am not terribly keen on getting that started again with her as she is over 3 now - if she does try it is she likely to want to carry on - should I totally prevent her from trying at all or should I allow her to try once if she asks and hope she thinks it doesn't taste nice?

The first thing you need to decide is if you do or if you don't want her to breastfeed again. If you are willing and she is interested I would say go for it! But, if you're hesitant to let her breastfeed again that may cause you to resent her if she does start up again. I can tell you that from speaking with other mothers who tandem nurse that it really helped the toddler bond with the newborn and it cuts down on sibling rivalry. My son will be three when our new baby is born and I suspect he will continue to breastfeeding for a while longer, at least another year. It is completely normal and natural to breastfeed a toddler if that is what is holding you back. It's entirely up to you, though...

One other thing I wanted to add is that allowing your toddler to breastfeeding again would help to relieve your engorgement, especially when your milk comes in. That's one aspect I look forward to. I had so much engorgement and pain when my milk came in last time and it's nice to know my son will be able to help with that. LOL

 

[moomoo]

Bluetea... I know my LO will probably not latch again once baby is here... But I'm going to try and express a bit for him to have in a bottle. Is there any reason I shouldn't do this? he's usually good with his milk and still has 4 8oz of cows milk a day...

 

[Cattia]

Hi bluetea :wave: I am wondering about donating milk this time round. Do you know if there is any set amount that they require, and how soon can you start expressing in order to do this? Last time round I expressed more than I needed and it just ended up sitting in the freezer until in the end I got rid of some of it as it had been there so long. They also do a collection service from my local hospital so I would not have to worry about dropping it in.

 

[blutea]

Bluetea... I know my LO will probably not latch again once baby is here... But I'm going to try and express a bit for him to have in a bottle. Is there any reason I shouldn't do this? he's usually good with his milk and still has 4 8oz of cows milk a day...

Expressing your milk and offering it to him in a bottle or cup would be a great idea. Human breastmilk would offer him so much more than cow's milk ever could. After all he's not a calf. Human milk for human babies!

 

[blutea]

Hi bluetea :wave: I am wondering about donating milk this time round. Do you know if there is any set amount that they require, and how soon can you start expressing in order to do this? Last time round I expressed more than I needed and it just ended up sitting in the freezer until in the end I got rid of some of it as it had been there so long. They also do a collection service from my local hospital so I would not have to worry about dropping it in.

I believe the set amount varies from milk bank to milk bank. You would want to give your local hospital or milk bank a call and ask them. Good for you for wanting to dontate your milk. I wish there were more mothers who were able to do this.

 

[Ember]

I'd like to donate milk too if I am eligible and able to produce more than my LO needs. I think it's great and hope that I can help a baby or babies whose mothers aren't able to breastfeed them themselves. They do some kind of health screening on the mom in order for them to be eligible to donate, like with cord blood donation, right? Do you know of any good resources for finding the closest place to donate?

 

[KandyKinz]

Here's a link for a world wide breastmilk sharing site

https://www.eatsonfeets.org/#

 

[blutea]

I'd like to donate milk too if I am eligible and able to produce more than my LO needs. I think it's great and hope that I can help a baby or babies whose mothers aren't able to breastfeed them themselves. They do some kind of health screening on the mom in order for them to be eligible to donate, like with cord blood donation, right? Do you know of any good resources for finding the closest place to donate?

This article will help you find the closest milk bank to donate your milk when the time comes- https://www.llli.org/FAQ/milkbank.html Yes, milk banks do screen for disease.

 

[blutea]

Here's a link for a world wide breastmilk sharing site

https://www.eatsonfeets.org/#

Just a word of caution: Eats on Feets is informal milk sharing so the mother and her milk are not screened for disease unless the person getting the milk specifically requests it. It's a great thing for the vast majority of moms and babies but there can be a small risk of transmitting disease such as HIV. When using Eats on Feets know your source.

 

[goddess25]

Looking for some advice from all you experts...

I had my son almost 2 years ago and am expecting my 2nd child in a few weeks.

Last time I had a few issues with breast feeding.... I hate my nipples being touched so up until he was born I was not sure that I would be able to do it. I was going to try but was not super excited about it, however all that changed when he was born. He latched on straight away and always did fantastically well and i found that I had no issues with the mechanics of it all, I had no cracked nipples or any of the problems you hear about. My big issue was lack of supply. My milk came in but not much, I never ever had engorged boobs and basically I fed him for about a week solely on BM. He was consistently losing weight each day and my midwifes were getting concerned, they gave me some baby scales and after a week he had still not reached his birth weight they told me I had to either supplement with BM or formula. I wasn't keen on using someone elses BM so I started him on formula, here started our combination feeding.

My midwifes seemed to have pretty good knowledge of how to increase supply so I started taking blessed thistle and fenugreek capsules, I started eating oatmeal, I bought some breast pumps and pumped after every single feed for 5 months, I also took some medication called Domperidone huge doses that my midwife started me on then was increased by Dr Jack Newman, via e-mail.

None of this increased my supply and after 5 months, I only had enough BM to feed him once a day in the morning and it was not an entire feed. I was upset every day, and felt so guilty that I could not provide this basic need for my child. I was intimated by other mums (who were the worst btw) when i would pull out formula to use in public and i just felt awful. Even now 1.5 years later I don't think I am really over the fact that I just could not do it. My DH sat me down at 5 months and told me that I had to stop BF, and stop punishing myself it wasn't working.

So....... anyway my question is if someone has had such issues with supply with a previous child, with a 2nd baby is there a better chance of having more milk or should I be prepared to have the same issues as before. I am prepared but this time I will not put in as much effort as before, I can't devote the same time to it with a newborn and toddler to look after. I am desperately hoping that this time is going to be different but on the realistic side I don't think it will be.

Any tips.

 

[blutea]

Looking for some advice from all you experts...

I had my son almost 2 years ago and am expecting my 2nd child in a few weeks.

Last time I had a few issues with breast feeding.... I hate my nipples being touched so up until he was born I was not sure that I would be able to do it. I was going to try but was not super excited about it, however all that changed when he was born. He latched on straight away and always did fantastically well and i found that I had no issues with the mechanics of it all, I had no cracked nipples or any of the problems you hear about. My big issue was lack of supply. My milk came in but not much, I never ever had engorged boobs and basically I fed him for about a week solely on BM. He was consistently losing weight each day and my midwifes were getting concerned, they gave me some baby scales and after a week he had still not reached his birth weight they told me I had to either supplement with BM or formula. I wasn't keen on using someone elses BM so I started him on formula, here started our combination feeding.

My midwifes seemed to have pretty good knowledge of how to increase supply so I started taking blessed thistle and fenugreek capsules, I started eating oatmeal, I bought some breast pumps and pumped after every single feed for 5 months, I also took some medication called Domperidone huge doses that my midwife started me on then was increased by Dr Jack Newman, via e-mail.

None of this increased my supply and after 5 months, I only had enough BM to feed him once a day in the morning and it was not an entire feed. I was upset every day, and felt so guilty that I could not provide this basic need for my child. I was intimated by other mums (who were the worst btw) when i would pull out formula to use in public and i just felt awful. Even now 1.5 years later I don't think I am really over the fact that I just could not do it. My DH sat me down at 5 months and told me that I had to stop BF, and stop punishing myself it wasn't working.

So....... anyway my question is if someone has had such issues with supply with a previous child, with a 2nd baby is there a better chance of having more milk or should I be prepared to have the same issues as before. I am prepared but this time I will not put in as much effort as before, I can't devote the same time to it with a newborn and toddler to look after. I am desperately hoping that this time is going to be different but on the realistic side I don't think it will be.

Any tips.

Oh, hun...I am so sorry it was such a struggle for you last time. You did the very best you could.

Thankfully, your last breastfeeding experience does not mean that you will struggle this time. It sounds like you may not have developed enough breast glandular tissue which might be why the supplements were unable to help you. Not to worry, it is entirely possible that your body will be able to develop enough glandular tissue this time around. I have spoken with several mothers would were unable to produce enough milk the first time and went on to fully breastfeed their second baby. All I can say is try to relax and do your best. If it doesn't work out it doesn't mean you are a bad mom...it's not your fault.

 

[goddess25]

That is exactly what a lactation consultant told me that I had insufficient glandular tissue, she thought related to PCOS that I have had since I was 17. Thanks for your kind words, I will try and take some positives from this since you have seen it happen before.

 

[Sophist]

Looking for some advice from all you experts...

I had my son almost 2 years ago and am expecting my 2nd child in a few weeks.

Last time I had a few issues with breast feeding.... I hate my nipples being touched so up until he was born I was not sure that I would be able to do it. I was going to try but was not super excited about it, however all that changed when he was born. He latched on straight away and always did fantastically well and i found that I had no issues with the mechanics of it all, I had no cracked nipples or any of the problems you hear about. My big issue was lack of supply. My milk came in but not much, I never ever had engorged boobs and basically I fed him for about a week solely on BM. He was consistently losing weight each day and my midwifes were getting concerned, they gave me some baby scales and after a week he had still not reached his birth weight they told me I had to either supplement with BM or formula. I wasn't keen on using someone elses BM so I started him on formula, here started our combination feeding.

My midwifes seemed to have pretty good knowledge of how to increase supply so I started taking blessed thistle and fenugreek capsules, I started eating oatmeal, I bought some breast pumps and pumped after every single feed for 5 months, I also took some medication called Domperidone huge doses that my midwife started me on then was increased by Dr Jack Newman, via e-mail.

None of this increased my supply and after 5 months, I only had enough BM to feed him once a day in the morning and it was not an entire feed. I was upset every day, and felt so guilty that I could not provide this basic need for my child. I was intimated by other mums (who were the worst btw) when i would pull out formula to use in public and i just felt awful. Even now 1.5 years later I don't think I am really over the fact that I just could not do it. My DH sat me down at 5 months and told me that I had to stop BF, and stop punishing myself it wasn't working.

So....... anyway my question is if someone has had such issues with supply with a previous child, with a 2nd baby is there a better chance of having more milk or should I be prepared to have the same issues as before. I am prepared but this time I will not put in as much effort as before, I can't devote the same time to it with a newborn and toddler to look after. I am desperately hoping that this time is going to be different but on the realistic side I don't think it will be.

Any tips.

Wow good job for sticking with it for five months!!! I could relate to so much if your post between my experiences with my first two kids, and I can read your frustration and sadness in the words you typed. I can especially relate to how other moms react, even when you legitimately cannot BF.

Maybe if you have supply issues again you could use a supplemental nutrition system (SNS) so the baby is suckling even when you are giving formula and helping your breasts to produce more milk.

I had big problems BF both my kids, but the issues were quite different from each other. So maybe you won't have problems this time or if you do they will be easier to cope with. My MIL had struggles BF her first 2 kids, but no problems at all BF #3-6! You never know.

 

[blutea]

That is exactly what a lactation consultant told me that I had insufficient glandular tissue, she thought related to PCOS that I have had since I was 17. Thanks for your kind words, I will try and take some positives from this since you have seen it happen before.

Oh, okay...I didn't know you had PCOS. This reference page may be of help to you https://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/pcos.html It has some great articles about PCOS and breastfeeding.

 

[Sophist]

Blutea--do you have any information on D-MER? I just heard about this yesterday, and I'm interested in learning more.

 

[blutea]

Blutea--do you have any information on D-MER? I just heard about this yesterday, and I'm interested in learning more.

I have not heard of it before. But I just did a google search and this is what I got (below). Facinating! I"ll have to run it by my co-leaders and see what they think. Thanks for teaching me something new!

https://d-mer.org/

Defining D-MER:
What It Is

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a newly recognized condition affecting lactating women that is characterized by an abrupt dysphoria, or negative emotions that occur just before milk release and continuing not more then a few minutes.

Preliminary testing tells us that D-MER is treatable and preliminary research tells us that inappropriate dopamine activity at the time of the milk ejection reflex is the cause of D-MER.


Clarifying D-MER:
What It Is Not


D-MER is not a psychological response to breastfeeding.

D-MER is not nausea with letdown or any other isolated physical manifestation.

D-MER is not postpartum depression or a postpartum mood disorder.

Lastly, D-MER is not the "breastfeeding aversion" that can happen to some mothers when nursing while pregnant.

How D-MER Presents:
What Mothers Feel


The negative emotions, or dysphoria, that a mother with D-MER experiences often manifest "in the mother's stomach" - a hollow feeling, a feeling like there is something in the pit of the stomach, or an emotional churning in the stomach. Mothers report varying types of emotions with D-MER ranging from dread to anxiety to anger, these emotions fall on the D-MER spectrum which has three different levels. The common thread between these levels, is the wave of negative emotions or dysphoria, prior to letdown, when nursing, expressing and with spontaneous letdowns, that then lifts within another 30-90 seconds, and then usually repeats with each letdown.

A key piece of D-MER is that a mother with D-MER feels absolutely fine except just before her milk starts to flow. D-MER is a brief feeling, not more than 30 seconds to 2 minutes, only and always beginning before let-down. This is not postpartum depression and most of these mothers feel perfectly fine except for that pre-milk moment. A brief interval after the negative feelings appear, the milk begins to flow.

D-MER can easily go unrecognized since 1) some mothers have so many closely spaced letdowns per feeding that the feelings do not have a chance to dissipate before the next D-MER is upon her, making her feel that she experiences on long D-MER through most of, if not all of, the feeding 2) many mothers do not physically feel a letdown in their breasts and so does not connect the feeling as to being just prior to letdown and 3) given the fact that D-MER happens with spontaneous letdowns as well, a mother may not immediately connect the way she is feeling to being a breastfeeding phenomenon.

 

[blutea]

A little more fun. Can you tell what this picture really is showing?

https://www.drmomma.org/2010/07/brazils-breastfeeding-ad.html

 

[blutea]

I saw we have a FF thread going and I just wanted to point out that La Leche League supports all mothers who want to breastfeed...breastfeeding and supplementing with formula certainly counts. Just because some mothers need to offer formula, it doesn't mean that breastfeeding can't happen as well. La Leche League wants to support mothers through all walks duirng the breastfeeding relationship and supplementing with formula is one of them. Many of us LLL people also have experience with needing to use formula.

 

[bubble123]

I just don't understand why anyone would choose to FF if they were capable of breastfeeding. I can understand FF if there is a medical reason they couldn't breastfeed but to not breastfeed just because they think it's icky...I just don't understand.

I wish more women were comfortable breastfeeding in public because that might encourage more new moms to breastfeed. We don't see much breastfeeding in public here where I live and breastfeeding is hardly talked about and that makes me sad because it's so important to get rid of the booby traps.

Hey, have you seen this article? https://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/27/...mall/?test=latestnews&a_dgi=aolshare_facebook I think this is just so awesome!

 

[blutea]

I just don't understand why anyone would choose to FF if they were capable of breastfeeding. I can understand FF if there is a medical reason they couldn't breastfeed but to not breastfeed just because they think it's icky...I just don't understand.

I wish more women were comfortable breastfeeding in public because that might encourage more new moms to breastfeed. We don't see much breastfeeding in public here where I live and breastfeeding is hardly talked about and that makes me sad because it's so important to get rid of the booby traps.

Hey, have you seen this article? https://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/27/...mall/?test=latestnews&a_dgi=aolshare_facebook I think this is just so awesome!

Yes, I saw this article. Thanks for posting it. I especially love this part- ""Maybe we need to find something else for society to obsess about/sensationalize/demonize, instead of breasts," wrote a commenter named Sheila. "Preferably something that isn't part of my body. Oranges, maybe? 'Hey, lady, you can't eat that orange in here -- this is a respectable business ...'"