"but you need a night off!"

[Always&4ever]

I'm the same, I hate leaving Jasmine, I like to know where she is and what shes doing, yes my mum has had her overnight a few times and I left her with Rich just for an hour whilst I went to Kim's (moomin_troll) but I wouldn't leave her with anyone else, altho I do agree with some me time

 

[clairebear]

the longest i have left jack is half an hour for a bath. i dont feel ready to leave him yet.

 

[ryder]

I dont think anyone is suggesting a whole night away?? Im talking a couple hours... But again, only when you are ready I guess!

The thing is, while they are only little once, they also have many other enjoyable times ahead in life for you to enjoy together. It doesn't end at breastfeeding... and babies dont remember this time anyways.

Me personally, I would take comfort in knowing I can leave my baby with someone I trust and her be happy with others... What if something happened and there was an emergency, or I ould not care for her for some reason. It would be traumatic enough without taking a baby who has never been away from mom and trying that.

You guys will ALWAYS be their mothers, and it will be only you. Your baby being happy with other people does not take this away from you.

Not trying to push any ideas on anyone, this is just my opinion and how I feel.

 

[marley2580]

Don't worry about it. I couldn't leave Kaya with anyone for longer than 10 minutes for the first 6 months. I wouldn't even leave her with her dad for the first couple of months lol. I even had a list of people I felt comfortable holding her. At first it was a very short list but as she's got older it has grown a lot. Before too long you'll be wanting her to stay with people for a couple of hours so you can do something (I do amature dramatics once a week), you'll still worry about her and think about her the whole time, but it'll be bearable.

 

[Wobbles]

I couldn't leave Kaya with anyone for longer than 10 minutes for the first 6 months.

Loads of Mummys are like this - Its quite funny ...poor blokes I'm ok when I'm in the house etc but hated it when he went out with her *panic*

 

[sam's mum]

I've had a few nights out - going out with OH/friends for dinner etc. and I really have enjoyed it (not for too long as my boobs will explode if I'm out all night without a pump and it's not the sort of thing you can whip out at the dinner table)...it's been nice just to worry about me for a few hours, stop being a mum and relax. And I do think that's important sometimes. But I do love being home with Sam just as much.

I think the difference is that I've arranged to have those nights out when I want to - and it might just be me being stubborn but when people tell me that I need to go and leave him for a night because I 'need a break from him' it makes me feel awful, maybe because I feel I'm somehow giving them the impression that I'm not coping with being at home with him all the time

I do also agree that it's good for them to have some time with other people without us around though x

 

[clairebear]

i leave jack wi th his daddy in the house all the time but cant go compleatly away thought.its not that i dont trust daddy its just when he gets sad he wants his mummy x

 

[sam's mum]

I think it is very important for mums to have me time. Could it be that BF moms are more attached to their babies and unable to leave them? (Toria, Sam's mum, Tasha, Marley???) I might be fishing here, and I don't wanna say that we, bottle feeders don't care as much for their babies. But maybe it is the fact that only YOU can give your baby what he/she needs is what makes you feel that it is not even necessary to leave your baby alone every once in a while.

I love Mia more than anything, but I work full time, 8-4 every day, while she is in good hands at home. I completely trust the people taking care of her, and they can always contact me at work if something is wrong. There is nothing better than coming home after work and seeing her smile. Absolutely priceless. Makes it all worth it.

Also, she spends almost every weekend at Grandma's. It is not because I ask for the time "off", but because her grandparents adore having her over and she always learns something new when she returns.

Again, I don't think there is anything wrong with having alone time.

I do actually think that breastfeeding might have something to do with it, but only because if I do want a night out I have to spend about a week preparing bottles for him, and then worry about leaking/needing to pump/getting so full that they are squeezed out of my top while I'm away! But I do make sure I have time for me and Sam has time with people I trust (although I still don't feel the need to on my part) - already got a dinner, hen weekend and a weekend at disneyland planned between now and December x

 

[AppleBlossom]

I've left grace a few times. I'm not going to say I don't want 'me' time because I do. I'm with Grace pretty much 24/7, one day off to go shopping or one night off to go out with friends won't do either of us any harm in my opinion. Granted the first and second time I left her I cried. Saying that though, I do like spending time with her, especially when we're in our pj's watching the tv or reading a story, or bathing her which I love because she loves it. I understand why many of you want to be with your babies all the time because they are dependant on you but I also don't feel that it would be selfish in any way to have a bit of time to yourself once in a while. One of the main reasons why I did is because me and OH were leading seprate lives pretty much. He worked, I was with Grace and then at night we'd both be so tired we'd just go to bed and it was badly affecting our relationship. Having a few hours with each other alone made things a lot better.

 

[Linzi]

Im breastfeeding but I dont really have a problem leaving Seth. He is still youn g but he loves his nan and his uncles and aunties so I would have no problem with them looking after him for a couple of hours, but I certainly dont want to leave him overnight yet.

Im forcing myself to go out on my own and leave him with Matt next week for my birthday. Im so worried that the time will come for him to go to nursery and hate it because Im not there.

Its not that I dont care or dont love him, because I do. But I feel ultimately that for him and I that its best to leave him for a couple of hours. I want to be Linzi too, not just mummy.

But it does take everyone a different amount of time. So dont feel pressured into doing it and just take it at your own pace!

xxx

 

[ryder]

Totally agree with you bexy about your OH!!! That is what my OH and I have discussed already. While we will love our baby the most in the world, we also feel our relationship is very important in keeping us all happy.

I trust my OH completely, if I can't trust him to care for our baby, then why am I having a baby with him??? Its not just my baby, it is as much mine as it is his.

 

[marley2580]

It's not about trust hun, it's this feeling that you get when other people (including your OH) hold YOUR child. I think it's a hormonal thing, not everyone gets it, but a lot of women do. It's something that's really hard to explain to someone who's not experienced it, but it's kind of like someone else holding your heart - it's your heart, a part of your body, a part of your soul - no one can look after it as well as you can. You do get over it eventually though, lol.

 

[sam's mum]

It's not about trust hun, it's this feeling that you get when other people (including your OH) hold YOUR child. I think it's a hormonal thing, not everyone gets it, but a lot of women do. It's something that's really hard to explain to someone who's not experienced it, but it's kind of like someone else holding your heart - it's your heart, a part of your body, a part of your soul - no one can look after it as well as you can. You do get over it eventually though, lol.

Totally agree with that. I'm fine with it now, and I have always completely trusted my OH with Sam but I still used to get that feeling every time he - or anyone else - was holding him x

 

[Serene123]

Yep I still don't like Rich holding her when she's crying. He doesn't comfort her like I can, but now I don't take her straight away, I give him a chance first...

 

[ryder]

It's not about trust hun, it's this feeling that you get when other people (including your OH) hold YOUR child. I think it's a hormonal thing, not everyone gets it, but a lot of women do. It's something that's really hard to explain to someone who's not experienced it, but it's kind of like someone else holding your heart - it's your heart, a part of your body, a part of your soul - no one can look after it as well as you can. You do get over it eventually though, lol.

Im sure your right, and im sure it will be hard, no doubt about it.

But I really believe that my OH has every right to be able to care for and comfort the baby when she comes (even if it is hard for me and I dont like it in the beginning). Its part of his heart, body and soul too... And I don't want to take that or the memories away from him.

I guess that opinion is what is going to drive me to be able to actually do it.

 

[mBLACK]

I don't really trust anyone else with her yet. I'm the only one who knows what she needs when she cries. Everyone else just tries to stop her crying without working out what's wrong in the first place. I will leave her for a couple of hours eventually, but I'm not ready yet, and I'm enjoying my time with her while she's little.

Plus I am still breastfeeding which probably doesn't help. She looks to my boobs for comfort too.

I know exactly what you mean! I only feel comfortable leaving my son with my grandmother because she's the only one who knows his faces (he has a "hungry" face, a "you hurt my feelings" face, a "sleepy" face, etc.) & if he's fussing (he has tummy issues) nobody else knows how to soothe him but she and I.

Some people think that I need to 'chill out', and get high (marijuana) & have a beer or a couple cigs, or just go out downtown partying for a night. Um, NO is it so difficult to believe I'd rather be at home, drinking a cup of milk with a couple of cookies settled with my LO & OH watching a nice movie & just cuddling?

 

[xarlenex]

Yep I still don't like Rich holding her when she's crying. He doesn't comfort her like I can, but now I don't take her straight away, I give him a chance first...

I dont really like the idea of this. Just my opinion though. I feel like John should be able to calm him just as well as myself. What if we were ever to split? I'd like to feel 110% confident sending him to daddies for the day.

I also must say that I do believe its great for a baby to have time without mummies and daddies and learn its okay to be with others too. Not because I want 'me' time, but because I know it will benefit him too

 

[AppleBlossom]

Yep I still don't like Rich holding her when she's crying. He doesn't comfort her like I can, but now I don't take her straight away, I give him a chance first...

I do exactly the same!

 

[Tezzy]

Yep I still don't like Rich holding her when she's crying. He doesn't comfort her like I can, but now I don't take her straight away, I give him a chance first...

I do exactly the same!

me too

 

[Carolyn]

daddy can settle bubs just as well as i can...my method is easy:stick boob in mouth. (her mouth, not mine)his method is easy too (some would say easier!)put bubs on shoulder. other people have tried the shoulder strategy and failed. this means she knows who her daddy is...which is good. but others need to be able to calm her too....
back to he first thread...no one's offered to look after munchkin...boo hoo. if they did, i'd go out for dinner with my oh, so we can eat at the same time! and have some grown up time. or i would do jobs around the house! boring?