Calling all Donor Sperm/Insemination Buddies!!!

[KylasBaby]

My bad sorry it's npc natural progesterone cream.

It favors a boy because orgasaming makes the vagina more alkaline which favors boy sperm. For a girl you want it more acidic as the boy sperm aren't as hardy as the girls.

 

[WayPastReady]

Oh ok. I've read that girl sperm also lives longer and male sperm swims faster, so that definitely makes sense about the alkalinity and hardiness. I've wondered if using the frozen DS is more likely to result in a boy since it's used so close to ovulation.

 

[KylasBaby]

Getting them there closer to ovulation can be girl or boy. Shettles has been disproven as he said girl sperm are slower but live longer and boys are faster but die sooner. It was just the sperm in different stages. He had no way to tell which were x and which y. Doctors now can't even do that by looking at them. So I'm not sure which way frozen leans honestly. I'd think it leans boy but not because of the sperm. Because when people use frozen they're putting a lot of work in so are more likely to be on a better diet and getting lots of nutrients which leans boy.

 

[WayPastReady]

Interesting! Thanks for sharing!

 

[WayPastReady]

Well the witch got me first thing this morning. Now I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me with two unsuccessful cycles. I know two isn't a lot and is completely within the realm of normal, but I was really hoping I'd be able to get pregnant quick once we started using DS. Now I'm discouraged and feel like it's not going to work.

In other news, DH and I are buying a house in a couple weeks and really don't have the extra $1,000 to spend on DS this new cycle, so I'm really considering taking my friend up on his offer to donate. I just have no clue how I'm even going to bring it up to DH, since he doesn't know my friend knows about the reason we've been struggling to conceive. Ugh, part of me just wants to act like we're still using the frozen DS and not tell him it's my friend, but that's probably not the right thing to do.

 

[KylasBaby]

Sorry about the witch. But you are right. 2 cycles is completely normal. Can take a completely healthy couple up to a year without either having any issues. How long was your LP this cycle? That's the only thing I can see to try to work on. And maybe try doing a couple opks at once. Maybe this one isn't picking up on it when it first starts or something?

I agree it wouldn't be the right thing to do. There could be a whole host of issues that come up with that. Better to tell him.

 

[WayPastReady]

My LP was its usual 10 days this cycle. The only thing that extends it is the npc, which I've only used twice and didn't use this month due to it giving me so many pg symptoms. I've tried everything else since I originally thought that was our issue for the first 1.5 years off ttc. Nothing else has changed it.

I just told DH that AF came today and told him I wished we had some fresh DS to use. He asked how we would get that, and I said we'd have to ask someone we know. Then he asked who we would ask, and I mentioned my friend. He said that would be weird since he knows him and hangs out with him. I told him he needs to think about it like getting a blood transfusion, but that didn't seem to help. At least I planted the seed, and hopefully he'll come around to the idea if the frozen doesn't work in the next few cycles.

 

[KylasBaby]

Oh and congrats on the house! We bought this house in September. Still doing little jobs around and such.

That's good you gave him the idea.

Personally I'd keep with the npc. If you have a late implanter 10 days may not be enough.

Maybe you can look a thing the known donor registry and see if there are any known donors in your area?

 

[WayPastReady]

Thanks! Congrats on your house too!

You're probably right about sticking with the npc. It definitely wouldn't hurt at least.

I've thought about using the known donor registry and actually went to the website once I think. Is that how you found yours? My biggest worry would be that they might have a disease that I could get. If they're open to getting tested though, then that might be an option.

 

[KylasBaby]

Yes, we found him there. He had paperwork from getting tested that we made sure we saw. Many have testing done on there, but if one you like doesn't you can always offer to pay for them to have it done. We also had contracts done before hand. They aren't enforceable in court, but they do show the intent of all parties, if needed. Then when OH adopted dd he had no problem signing the termination of rights papers. We met him at a notary and had it done. I highly recommend the site. Just like anything though you have to screen people.

 

[WayPastReady]

Joined the KDR site today! Thanks for suggesting that! I'm a little weirded out by some of the men that I've seen on there...actually grossed out if I'm being honest, but I've only looked at a couple profiles. Hopefully I'll feel more comfortable with the idea once I find a good one. I don't know why it's bothering more than the sperm bank, at least these men aren't doing it for money.

 

[KylasBaby]

Yeah that was a big thing for us too. They don't get money for it. Just make sure you only go with a donor who does AI. Some want NI or natural insemination aka sex.

I was weirded out too, but then we found our donor. He wasn't even our first choice actually. We found one and had looked over his test results and signed contracts and were set to go when right before we needed him he said he changed his mind and wasn't interested in donating to us....pretty sure it was because I told him I wasn't feeling comfortable being friends with him on Facebook. But then we found our guy and he's amazing so it was definitely a good thing.

 

[Savasanna]

lol - Kyla gets everyone to sign up for KDR!

I will say that at home tries with frozen sperm are REALLY tough. It's all such a science and you could be killing at the sperm if you thaw it at the wrong rate, or suck it into the syringe too quickly, or anything really. And then the sperm have longer to travel while they still don't live for very long. It's tough. I think we tried at home ICI for two months before deciding that it wasn't worth the money and moved on to IUI with my ob-gyn.

But yes, a fresh donor is definitely best.

Kyla got me to sign up for the KDR... last spring, I think (was it really that long ago?) when we were preparing to start trying again. Just watch out because, while there are legitimate donors on there, there seem to be a fair amount of scamming too. We blocked anyone who reached out to us, and focused only on us seeking out people. From my memory, it was pretty easy to differentiate who was legit vs who wasn't pretty quickly. We ended up finding someone we liked, but he only works with one family at a time and had a few families waiting in the wings already. I respect him honoring each family individually, we just didn't want to wait until he was available.

Sorry to hear the witch got you. Congrats on the house, though! That's super exciting!

 

[KylasBaby]

It's true. I should get some kind of kickback lol. I don't think I ever responded to anyone who messaged me first either. Just weird. If they're that eager there's an issue. We didn't run into an issue with anyone scamming us though, but we didn't message many people.

Got my positive opk yesterday so ovulating probably tomorrow. Not that it matters, but it'll help me more accurately predict when January's cycle will start. I seem to have a 13/14 day LP. Mostly 13 days, but this cycle has been wonky so who knows.

 

[Savasanna]

Home stretch! It's almost go time!

 

[KylasBaby]

I have this fear pushed way back from my mind because we're so busy with Christmas this coming weekend (Christmas eve at my parents, Christmas Day here at home) then Christmas at OHs parents the following weekend and that's also New Years and my next cycle should start within that first week. And then I'll really start to freak out haha. I'm only really freaking out about how we will work out getting donations with the distance between us now and donor dude. Once we get past that and get donations I'll start freaking out about how I'll deal with nausea and exhaustion with an EXTREMELY active toddler! Then I'll freak about how I'll deal with an EXTREMELY active toddler an drew a newborn and be recovering from birth. Then I'll freak about how I'll handle 2 kids and so on and so on haha. It's always something.

 

[WayPastReady]

Savasanna, too funny that she got you to sign up for it also!! Thank you for the heads up about not responding to anyone who reaches out to us. That's very good to know.

I'm strongly considering doing a monitored cycle soon if I can't find a fresh donor that I'm comfortable with. That also means that I'll have to re-establish myself with my RE, since I haven't been there in over a year.

Kyla, you really should get some sort of finder's fee lol. So exciting to think that your next positive opk is going to be the one! It's very true that there's always something to stress and worry about, but I'm sure you and your donor will find a way to make the deposit at the right time.

 

[Savasanna]

Yea.. I had to reestablish myself with my RE as well. It took 2 cycles to get all the tests in order. Kind of a bummer but you get through it.

 

[WayPastReady]

Ok, good to know!

I just messaged my first donor on KDR. I've never done online dating, but I feel like this is what it must be like, except to the extreme! I can't even imagine what it's going to be like to meet this guy for the first time...if it even gets to that. I'm sure at some point it will start to feel more "normal" but right now, it's still weirding me out.

 

[KylasBaby]

Haha yeah it's awkward. Now imagine what it's like sitting outside after you just handed the guy the cup. So so awkward. Good luck!