Calling all Donor Sperm/Insemination Buddies!!!

[Savasanna]

Yea. There's really no way to get around the awkwardness. My brother-in-law was our donor so he'd basically come visit for the weekend and then just go upstairs once a day with his laptop and cup. haha

 

[Savasanna]

going back a few posts though - I definitely agree with Kyla that your husband should be involved in this, though. At minimum he needs to be ok with the idea in the name of your relationship, but I'd also imagine there area plethora of potential legal issues if he's not aware. (for ex - he could deny any responsibility to the child, yadda yadda). If he's not on board with this, I wouldn't recommend pursuing it further.

 

[KylasBaby]

And, to add, you're married so he will automatically go on the birth certificate as there is an assumption of paternity I think they call it. But you will have to have him adopt as well because he isn't the biological father and terminate the donors rights.

 

[KylasBaby]

Disregard the adoption part. I forgot that's just for gay/lesbian couples. Even if they're married and on the birth certificate they need to adopt too because not every state has gay marriage so not every state would accept them both being the parent without a court order. That's nationwide. But you'll still want to get donors rights terminated. It's not hard. You all will have to see a notary and submit the paperwork to the court.

 

[WayPastReady]

He's totally on board with using a donor. In fact, it was his suggestion that we pursue the DS route since he didn't want me to undergo the IVF medications and egg retrieval. He just said he doesn't want it to be one of our friends or family members. He knows that I joined the KDR site in the hopes of finding fresh DS instead of continuing to use the expensive frozen stuff, and we constructed the message to the donor together.

Where are you in your cycle Savasanna? Any updates?

 

[MombyChoice]

Hi everyone, just catching up on all the new posts, I'll have to check in more often! Lol

WayPastReady-I cannot believe you just joined KDR! It totally feels like online dating, only much scarier. I spent this week registering, going through messages and profiles and pictures, picking a donor, thinking about it, freaking out and then ended up deleting my account I made this whole list of why a KD would be preferred (longer living sperm, know more about donor, child has opportunity to know more earlier on, not expensive etc...) But in the end I just couldn't get over the health risks and legal ramifications. I mean, chances are these guys would be fine, especially the ones with reviews (if legit) but I just got too scared. Maybe since it's my first time TTC I don't mind the bank fees so much. It's $1000usd/attempt for me, with two vials for at home ICI. Maybe I'll feel differently after a few months of attempts....

And I'm sorry cycle 2 wasn't it for you ...doesn't mean cycle 3 won't be! Stress can depress fertility, I know it's easier said than done, but do try to relax, at the very least you are trying something new and are now working with functioning sperm and think about it...these are really your first two attempts-nothing to worry about right now. Just enjoy trying and find things to do to stay busy...

KylasBaby-Wow, our cycles must really be nearly in-sync, I got a positive on my OPK today (with a nice dark line just like the control line). It's my first time using OPKs and I was practicing for next month also. Can you believe I haven't picked my donor yet? Leaving it up to the last minute I am....I just can't choose until it's time to buy the vials...
Despite the distance challenges, be grateful you have a KD to work with, you have better chances than us using frozen! I also have spent some time thinking about the realities of pregnancy, but you can do it....you can do it because you'll have to. That's what I'm thinking, though this will be my first. Just go into it with the right attitude and knowing that the good days outweigh the bad and have hope that it'll get easier and you'll be just fine.

And just a quick question for you about the KDR website...what is your opinion on shipping? It's weird, right!?!?!?! Or would you give it a try!?!? I seriously did close my account because I decided I would try frozen and couldn't take the site anymore...but it's still in the back of my mind. I've thought about asking friends but I just don't see it working without being awkward.

Savasanna-Fingers crossed for you!! Too funny about taking a picture with the tank...that'll be me next month hopefully lol. I'll have to go back and read more about your journey so far. This will be my first time TTC and I've already learned so much from these boards, it's so nice reading about other women going through similar things!

 

[Savasanna]

Oh good, glad to hear that! Sorry - didn't mean to pry, I thought I had read that he didnt' agree to using a known donor.. but maybe that was just referring to your friend who offered. I can totally understand/respect that. One of my wife's friend's offered to be our donor a few years back and I had a similar reaction. Obviously we needed to use DS but I didn't want to use someone who could result in a complicated relationship. I was looking for a donor, not a 3rd part-time parent.

(this situation works for some people, but it's just not what I was looking for)

No updates for me. The positive I saw on Sunday was the last day of the trigger. I test on Thursday with an at home test and then have a beta scheduled for Friday. If it doesn't work then next cycle will start sometime next week and it's back in the saddle we go.

 

[MommaCosima]

We decided to use known DS instead after all but that's starting sometime in the next year.

 

[WayPastReady]

Oh good, glad to hear that! Sorry - didn't mean to pry, I thought I had read that he didnt' agree to using a known donor.. but maybe that was just referring to your friend who offered. I can totally understand/respect that. One of my wife's friend's offered to be our donor a few years back and I had a similar reaction. Obviously we needed to use DS but I didn't want to use someone who could result in a complicated relationship. I was looking for a donor, not a 3rd part-time parent.

(this situation works for some people, but it's just not what I was looking for)

No updates for me. The positive I saw on Sunday was the last day of the trigger. I test on Thursday with an at home test and then have a beta scheduled for Friday. If it doesn't work then next cycle will start sometime next week and it's back in the saddle we go.

Yeah, I was just referring to my friend. He doesn't mind meeting the guy, just doesn't want it to be a buddy that he hangs out with. Fx'd that you get your bfp in a couple days!

We decided to use known DS instead after all but that's starting sometime in the next year.

Hi MommaCosima! Best of luck to you during your WTT and so happy for you that you have a known donor who is willing to help!

 

[KylasBaby]

Nearly positive today is O day. Past 2 days I've had positive opks (I usually have 36 hours of positives) cm has gone from being completely drenched and having to change my underwear twice each day AND wear a liner to kinda sticky. Temp dive this morning and my nasty cramps yesterday are gone. So that's a cd19 O. AF should come cd 32/33 as I have a 13 day LP occasionally 14 days. Which would make the next AF start on January 3rd! Next O should be around cd17-19 next cycle which would be January 19-21. Which is a Thursday to Saturday. Not ideal a sense it's going to be difficult to get donations during the week, but I think even if we get one on Sunday that's still 4-6 days before I O. With dd the donations were 7 and 5 days before O as I Oed really not late. I'll try to get a donation during the week too. Maybe have OH take that Monday off or she's closes Mondays so if we could do something in the morning.

Good God so much to work out!

 

[WayPastReady]

Sounds like you've got a good start to a plan for next cycle! Probably a good idea to plan on making at least one trip during the week to make sure you get at least one well-timed insem. How far away is your donor?

 

[KylasBaby]

Far! 2 states away. He lives in Rhode Island. We just moved out of MA to Nh. He works close to OHs work though. Going to see if he would be able to work up by us one day or something as he said he works in he next city over occasionally. And see if my mom can take her or come to our house and watch her overnight one night. Would probably have to be that Saturday-Sunday even though Sunday-Monday would be better. We will see

 

[WayPastReady]

Oh goodness, that does sound stressful. Fx'd it will work out for him to work near you one day and your mom to watch your LO!

I set up a meet 'n' greet with a donor from KDR for Thursday. I'm soooo nervous! We're meeting in a mall food court, and all I can think about is how awkward this is going to be. I'm not sure whether to act like it's no big deal or to come right out and admit how awkward it is lol. Any advice ladies? How did your first meeting go? He's already sent me his contract and STD testing results.

 

[Cppeace]

Hi all...Figured I join in since I am an inseminator now.
My guy and I have been ttc for 16 months(Over a 20 month period). He has low sex drive and most months we only managed to have successful sex once a month. We manged to get pregnant once and it ended in a miscarriage, but over all the lack of sex if not conductive to baby making and we have decided to go back to ttc but add in insemination since that is far easier on him than full sex.
My symptoms look like I might ovulate earlish on cd 16 and we inseminated today and yesterday and will continue until I get that drastic temp rise I always get marking ovulation.
I've read so many success stories of home insemination and hope this will be the ticket for us
Good luck to all in here

 

[WayPastReady]

Hi and welcome Cppeace! So sorry to hear of the troubles you've been having and of you're miscarriage. Sounds like insemination could definitely be a good addition to help you conceive. Good luck this cycle!

 

[KylasBaby]

Oh goodness, that does sound stressful. Fx'd it will work out for him to work near you one day and your mom to watch your LO!

I set up a meet 'n' greet with a donor from KDR for Thursday. I'm soooo nervous! We're meeting in a mall food court, and all I can think about is how awkward this is going to be. I'm not sure whether to act like it's no big deal or to come right out and admit how awkward it is lol. Any advice ladies? How did your first meeting go? He's already sent me his contract and STD testing results.

We met at a coffee place. Had coffees and chatted. Wasn't as awkward as I was expecting but still awkward. We chatted a bit and signed the contracts then left. That's awesome you got the testing results. That's always good. Bring a some contracts with you so if it goes well and you all agree you can sign them there.

Write down any questions you have because you will forget them. And relax! Haha.

Welcome cppeace! Sorry for the issues yours having. I hope insemination helps!!

AFM, OH and I talked today about ttc next cycle. About the logistics and whatnot. She said she could take that whole week off which I said was overkill haha. But we could do a night in some hotel in his city over the weekend. She said there's a lot to see and do there so should be fun. And she can work a late shift so she could go to him and get a donation after work then drive home without traffic. It's still a 45 minute drive without traffic so not sure how many would survive, but he has pretty strong swimmers. I'll text him on cd1 and give him the dates and see what he thinks. So close!

 

[Cppeace]

I've heard successful insemination when the specimen had been in a container awaiting insemination for over an hour so I'd say plenty should survive.

Thanks for the welcome you two... The miscarriage was a totally weird limbo thing so I don't think I took it as hard as most women would. The lack of sex with us ttc was incredibly frustrating for me. I'm hoping this is our cycle, but we will keep trying for several months until I get overly frustrated again or a year passes, whichever comes first lol

 

[Cppeace]

And that sounds so exciting Kylasbaby! Fingers crossed you take first cycle like you have in the past

 

[KylasBaby]

With my loss (and a different donor) I got stuck in nasty traffic and the stuff was in a cup for well over an hour and I got pregnant. So definitely possible. I ordered 3 sterile cups from Amazon so ready to go! Is it bad I took the new syringes from dds baby Advil? Haha. We have so many syringes and they come with every bottle and we're unopened so I figure why buy ones when we have these? Lol. Feels wrong for some reason.

 

[Cppeace]

lol naw nothing wrong with using unused syringes- you buy the ones for oral medication anyway lol