Calling all Donor Sperm/Insemination Buddies!!!

[WayPastReady]

Baby Advil syringes lol! That's hilarious but very resourceful! Don't feel guilty at all.

So glad things are falling into place for you to get the goods when you need them!

 

[WayPastReady]

I just called off the meeting with the donor since talking more with DH. He decided that he wants to remain as anonymous as possible with the donor and doesn't want either of us to meet him. I was super nervous about meeting him, so initially relieved, but now I'm feeling uneasy about not meeting him. Ugh, maybe I just don't have peace about this whole situation. I don't know why it feels different from using a sperm bank. I know DH wishes that we could conceive a child that is biologically both of ours (and so do I), but that's not the reality right now without IVF. I think changing from a frozen donor to fresh has just re-opened the wound that is male infertility. Hopefully we'll both have some peace about this before my next fertility window strikes.

 

[KylasBaby]

:/ I'm sorry that's rough. One of the reasons we went with a known donor is because OH doesn't know her biological father. She's always wondered about that part of herself and it really bothers her. So we wanted to use a donor who would be available to us and dd and future children. I know most aperm banks have a sibling registry, but I'm not sure how much they divulge about donors.

I can see how it can be tough. Maybe it makes him feel more like it's not his child using a known donor? Whereas frozen sperm a bigger degree of separation you know? Maybe it's time to consider the IVf?

It's definitely a tough situation all around. I'm sorry

 

[Cppeace]

I personally would want to get to know the donor if I had one but that is me. Yeah, I' sure it is quite a blow for him to know it is his fault you can't conceive. I know my guy felt very guilty because he has such low sex drive.

 

[WayPastReady]

I think he is dealing with a lot of guilt and disappointment and meeting this guy would make him feel like even less of a man. I told him that we don't have to use a donor and can wait and save up for IVF, but it's him who doesn't want to go that route since it's so expensive, hard on my body, and no guarantee.

I definitely want our child to have the option of contacting the donor in the future so they're less likely to have unanswered questions. The frozen donor we had chosen gave us that option, and this known donor gives us that option as well. I think this is just a new step for us and putting the inability to conceive a child in the forefront of our minds. I think both of us will be more comfortable with the idea once we do the first one, and it's not so foreign anymore. Thanks for the support ladies! It's so good to have people to talk to who are going through similar situations.

 

[KylasBaby]

I'm not in your situation but I can see how it would be tough for both of you. Tough situation any way you go.

You can still get to know the donor without meeting right now. Though you will have to meet to get donations. Maybe explain the situation and get to know him more via email? Or text or whatever?

Or take a couple days or whatever and then revisit the situation.

Definitely a lot to deal with. I've added all you ladies to my nightly prayers. I'm not particularly religious, but can't hurt.

 

[Cppeace]

Why not kinda do a mixed bag? Do every other day leading up to ovulation. Like Your DH 4 days before, donor 3 days before, Dh 2 days before and donor day before. That way if you conceive there's no guarantee it's not his baby. I'm not sure how true it is but I've actually heard that competing sperm perform better to fertilize eggs and that is why women that cheat often wind up pregnant oddly enough. Just a thought that might help somehow.

 

[Cppeace]

Aww that's very sweet of you Kylasbaby. I will return the favor.

 

[WayPastReady]

Yeah, I told the donor that I would still like to get to know him via email. I'm not quite sure how the donation pick-up will go down, but hopefully we can do it with as little contact as possible.

That's interesting about the competing sperm. Anything to give my DH's sperm a better chance lol! That's the story I'm sticking with anyway. I'll have to share that one with him.

Thanks for the prayers ladies! I try to pray daily and will keep you in mine as well.

 

[Cppeace]

Lol yeah it's an odd thing, but a guy who feels threatened by his mate being impregnated by another guy is actually know to produce higher quality and quantity sperm. It's not just in Humans it happens in other animals as well.It's odd but at least partially true.

 

[WayPastReady]

Told that to my husband a few minutes ago, and he said he has read the same thing before!! I think this has spurred on some positive thoughts towards receiving the donation and a bit of hope that this could even help DH's sperm have a slightly better chance.

 

[Cppeace]

I sure hope so. I help when I can Glad he's open to the idea

 

[Savasanna]

Welcome Ccpeace! Good luck this cycle!

Waypast - that's a really difficult situation to be in. Sometimes these 'work arounds' (donor sperm, adoption, foster care) can feel like a life saver, and then they end up digging deeper into the wound. It's tough. My only thought with the competing sperm theory is that I'd want to have a serious conversation on, in the event you do get pregnant, not getting hopes up (so to speak) about over "whose baby" it is. You won't be able to find the biological father until you give birth. That could be a long time of your DH (and you, possibly) hoping that it's his biological baby. The last thing you want is a disappointment upon delivery. It'll be YOUR (you and your DH's) baby regardless of the biology. I guess I would just want to make sure your DH will feel the same.

This is all really emotionally complicated stuff. I know my wife and I are HUGE talkers so we like to talk everything out before we do anything. But maybe I'm just overthinking your situation. Obviously I don't know your relationship, so if I'm way off guard feel free to ignore.

Kyla - so exciting that you're finally talking details! I'm really happy that your OH is able to take some time off. It's always more fun when you can make a whole thing out of the insemination times, rather than just a check it off the list type deal. With Peanut being in the hospital this month I literally almost forgot that I even had the IUI done! haha. Probably why I've spent much of this tww feeling like it's been a bust and just waiting for the cycle to end.

AFM - Nothing new to report just yet. Testing day is tomorrow.. although now I'm starting to question whether we should test tomorrow or wait until Friday. Hmm..

 

[Cppeace]

Well gals looks like I ovulated yesterday! First Time I have ever ovulted before cd 16 in my 16 month history of charting. At least we got a couple days of insemination in there. Craziness

 

[Savasanna]

whoa! Look at that temp spike!!

 

[Cppeace]

lol yeah a sharp spike like that is pretty normal for me. I generally go up about a degree from day before or day of to day after ovulation. I rarely have to question anything lol

 

[Savasanna]

well that's convenient! I haven't temped in years but I woke up this morning and my first thought was that I wished I could temp.. just to see. haha - such a funny little addiction.

 

[Cppeace]

It's a good thing to do even if not ttc. It is another way to show a healthy working system.

 

[Savasanna]

True. I temped for a year and a half though so I know I ovulate every month. I've never really had any issues with that.

 

[KylasBaby]

That is a huge spike! Mine is never anywhere near that. Jealous!

Temp was down today more than yesterday. I was sure yesterday was O day.....no more o pain, cm went from ewcm to creamy....as I said before, wonky cycle.