Can I do this? Rant--friends with tons of in home help

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by bassdesire, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. bassdesire

    bassdesire Well-Known Member

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    So I am not dissing on those mommies with nannies and the like, but aside from a baby sitter that comes for 3 hours on Tuesday and Thursday, I am doing it all by myself (hubby works constantly). I am preggo again and felt pretty good about handling it all... until... recently.

    Some of my friends, also stay at home moms, have full time in home help... like every single day. Additionally, I found that one friend also has a night nurse that feeds and burps and changes the baby! AND, she is still having trouble... she doesn't wake to feed the baby or anything and is still struggling... what in the world am I getting myself into?!

    Now I am happy that people can get help and such, but geez, now I am wondering, can I do this? My hubby is not forking out thousands and thousands and thousands for in home help when we already sacrifice for me to stay at home. Do you friends have help (this much)? Are any of you doubting yourselves?
     
  2. firsttimer87

    firsttimer87 First-timer expecting

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    although pg with our frist, i cant imagine having this much home help!! I mean, think of what these ladies are missing out on? I'm sure that although it wont be a picnic, you'll cope hun. I get a bit scared of how hard I'll find it, but I think to take each day on its own is your best bet and not to look at it as a long period. I wouldnt envy those ladies with home help as you'll be experiencing all your LO's highlights :) xx
     
  3. katerdid

    katerdid Momma

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    Oh, you can do it hun! No offense, bth those girls sounds like wussies. My mom had 4 kids and an illness and never had live-in nannies! My daddy worked full time and would do a paper route at night after he got off his shift. So she was by herself for the most part.

    You can do it sweetie!!!! :thumbup: It may seem overwhelming, but we're made of much stronger stuff than we give ourselves credit.
     
  4. BabyDeacon

    BabyDeacon Mum1DS 1angel 1cooking

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    if you allready do it, you have a routine, you will easily adapt to having two!
    im nervous too with Lo being my first but if my mum family and friends could then so can i.. im certainly not having any help at home my dad is baby sitting baby whilst im at uni and on placements, but no help at night ect.. i wouldnt want people looking after my baby isnt that why u have a baby and not become a baby sitter-nanny, to look after your own children??
    (perhaps this will cause an up roar)
     
  5. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    obviously ur friend as no clue what hard is if she has that much help:/
    but then again id kill for the 6 hours a week help that u get, im pregnant with number 2, my son is 2half and im doing it alone so i dont get any me time unless my mum decides to be nice and looks after zane for me.

    i constantly think god i cant do this but i no i wil because i have to x
     
  6. jacks mummy

    jacks mummy Well-Known Member

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    i am so scared of how i will cope with 2 my son will be nearly 5 when my little girl is born and im constantly doubting if i can do it i take care of my son on my own most of the time as oh works full time i get by fine on my own with him but i worrie how i will cope with a newborn and no sleep.. but i no i can do it i did it at 19 with jack so i can do it at 24 with 2! i will HAVE to cope as my kids need me and i wouldnt have it any other way im not saying having help is bad but for me i just believe a mum and dad should look after the kids/babies not strangers (just my opinion) x
     
  7. 2ndtimeluckyX

    2ndtimeluckyX Well-Known Member

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    What cheats!! Lol

    this is only baby number 1 for us but I intend on having 3 more and doing everything myself! My mum coped just fine with me and my 4 sisters while my dad was a work-aholic and hardly ever home lol

    I think the night feeds and everything else are all part of the fun and stresses of bringing up children and call me a sucker but I'm looking forward to it!
     
  8. seoj

    seoj Our family of four...

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    Wow seriously? LOL... NONE of my friends ever had that kind of help... not even for a moment. One of my friends even works from home AND still takes care of her 2yr old full time and they are thinking of having another one soon...

    Honestly, I can't imagine getting that much help (although I'm sure it would be nice at times) -- I'm not judging at all, I guess it's just so beyond my reality thought process! lol. And, tbh, I want to experience all that comes with having a baby... the good the bad and even the ugly! haha.

    You will be JUST fine hun... most woman who take care of baby don't have any extra help, except hubby or OH or Mom or what not... I don't know anyone that could afford it to be honest. IF I ever got the opportunity to work form home, which may be an option at some point, I would need in home help for sure... only because with my job I can't drop everything whenever baby needs something, I have conference calls and get really busy when a Project is in full swing. We are lucky enough though that both grandma's are retired and willing to watch baby whenever needed... so they will be the day care the first year or two for sure!

    All will be good hun, you'll find what works for you and do great!!!! Us woman are super strong! hehe
     
  9. RaspberryK

    RaspberryK Well-Known Member

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    I've never heard of having that much help, what's the point in having children if you aren't going to look after them?
    x
     
  10. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    i saw a program once about women who had round the clock help and did nothing for their babies. while being interviewed this womans daughter was mentioned and the "mother" said who? the camera man had to say ur daughter to which she replied oh yeah!
    i was in total shock at this woman, i really didnt think normal people had that much help or money to waste
     
  11. bmuir11207

    bmuir11207 Mother of 2 girls

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    I just wanted to stop by and say...I am a stay at home mom that did it all by myself (besides hubby and some family sometimes taking the baby) with my first and same when i had my second and plan to be the same when i have this one...the only help I will be needing is for 6 weeks after i have the baby (i am having a c-section) i can not lift my other two children but i will be breastfeeding only so i will be the only one that will be getting up feeding changing and burping...i may have my hubby get me a snack and a drink sometimes...i am not saying its easy at all but it can be done...it would be good to have a good friend or family come by if you have a really bad night and need a good cry but remember you can always lay baby down for a few mins to get control and come back
     
  12. Sherileigh

    Sherileigh Well-Known Member

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    Sorry but I can't figure out how you'd feel like a mom if you don't do the mom jobs, like waking up with them, burping them etc. I have a friend that's always been overwhelmed by life in general. Some people are just like that. Can't handle half of what 'normal' women do!
     
  13. chichestermum

    chichestermum mummy of 2 :)

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    Thats a ridiculous amount of help!! i wouldnt say no to a cleaner to do a good scour of the house once a month or something but we dont have the money to waste on such a thing when the money can be put to something for DD or the baby on the way.

    Iv took care of my DD every day of her life! she has been left with grannys for maybe a total of 30 hours, the way i see it, she is my child and as my child its my responsibility to take care of her. When baby 2 comes along i will have the exact same thoughts, yes it will be hard, tiring and stressfull at sometimes but il just get on with it, thats what us women are best at!
    Im sure you will be fine hun! xxx
     
  14. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    Wow - I've never met anyone with that much help either... I know a few people with nannies who take care of their kids while they're at work, but that's it and doesn't really count IMO. I just started back to work 2 days a week and so LO is in daycare 2 days, but other than that I have had him all day every day since he was born!
     
  15. jacks mummy

    jacks mummy Well-Known Member

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    I have a friend like this and Shea always going on about when she has kids but I no deep down she would never cope with a child of her own! She's never even stood on her own 2feet at the age of 24! Lol xx
     
  16. keeks1987

    keeks1987 Due baby2 in April

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    You'll be fine. You'll adapt.

    Yesterday i had similar fears about being a mom. Then i got some advice from ladies here and found the quote in my signature. It's true. You are awesome
     
  17. Parkep

    Parkep Very happy mom

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    You will be fine hun :hugs:

    I am scared too with two, and they are so close together!! lol Can i ask where you live?
     
  18. Samantha675

    Samantha675 Maybe baby #3?!?

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    I'm pretty much in the same boat. I have a sitter twice a week for a few hours, but other than that it's just DH and I. I don't see the point in having that much help really. I'm not to worried about a 2nd baby. I know how hard it will be at the start but we will all adjust. The reward of adding a second child far outweighs the worries and difficulties.
     
  19. tweedy

    tweedy Well-Known Member

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    working full time, a 3 year old and a newborn, 6 hours a week of help would be lovely, but you gotta work with what you have, i was up till 2am last night getting the ironing sorted so i can take a proper day off tomorrow, no work, no household chores, just me and my daughter, can't wait.

    sunday it'll be back to the housework, babysitting, cooking for the entire week, getting ready for monday 5.30am start.
     
  20. heather91

    heather91 Preggers with 2nd

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    same here, my mom hasn't had DD in about 4 months tho! Think ill ask her to have her soon :haha: x
     

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